She knew she had taken a big risk telling the sheriff she was the reason Colin was inside the saloon. Sarah knew the truth, so what on earth had she been thinking when she spoke up and had taken all the blame? She hadn’t been. Not really. She just knew she wanted to protect Colin from…himself.
“Are you alright?” Colin’s smooth deep voice drifted into her thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m alright. Just give me another minute or two.”
She needed time to come up with a plan. Emma knew she needed to tell Sarah what happened and then together they could figure out how to calm the storm between these two brothers. Emma knew Quinn was only trying to help his brother, but she also knew he was going about it the wrong way. A person couldn’t force someone to share a painful experience. You had to coax it out of them. Gently. And Quinn’s approach was anything but gentle.
She opened her eyes and met Colin’s worried gaze. He was genuinely concerned about her and that was not the mark of a man without a heart. This brought Emma back to the fact that Colin had stormed out of the kitchen because of some meaning he placed on her teasing words. He said murder was nothing to be joked about. Well, she knew that. It was an obvious statement. So what had happened to make him say that? It was up to her to find out.
She offered him a weak smile hoping to persuade him she wasn’t feeling well. “Do you mind if we not rush off? At least not this minute. I need some time to…gather my senses.”
Colin glanced toward the door and Emma knew he was weighing his decision. Finally, he turned to her and smiled. “Of course. We’re grown adults. We’ll leave whenever you are ready.”
Emma nodded in thanks. She remained silent trying to come up with a good way to ask the questions she wanted to ask without appearing to be looking for answers. Before she could form her words, Colin spoke.
“Why did you cover for me with my brother?” Colin asked her.
“You needed help and I helped.” Emma gave him the most honest answer she could without revealing she was helping him for his sake and not for his brother’s.
“But why?” He pushed for an answer.
“Because I recognize the signs and I wanted to help.”
“What signs?” Now his look of concern had turned wary.
“The signs of someone running from ghosts. The signs of a pain so deep and sharp it cuts into your soul every time you take a breath. The signs that you can’t understand why you are still here and all those who deserved a good life more than you are not.”
She knew what it was like to feel as though you had been given someone else’s second chance at life. It was a huge responsibility and a heavy burden to carry.
Emma could tell her comment caught him off guard and maybe hit a little too close to the truth.
He looked away and eyed the bottle again. “What can a pampered southern miss such as yourself know about that kind of heartbreak?”
She searched his face for signs of sarcasm. There was none. “You can’t be serious. You think I was pampered and spoiled, and I don’t know anything about heartbreak?” She heard her emotion crack in her voice. “I’ll have you know, Yankee Blue, that I have lost most of my male cousins and friends in the war. And, the ones that did survive are disfigured or missing one or more limbs, have no options for a job, and no way to support themselves. They eat out of the garbage, and sleep under trees, and shuffle through the streets like animals.” Emma paused to gain control of her emotions. She would not cry. Not here.
“And, I’ll also have you know that I lost my parents, my two brothers, my sister, both sets of grandparents, and my only uncle. I saw my home, my town, and my whole way of life destroyed before my eyes, so don’t you tell me I don’t know anything about heartbreak.”
Emma was a breath away from losing control again and that was the last thing she wanted these people to see if she had any hope of attracting a husband in this town.
She inhaled a deep breath to calm her emotions and poured a sloppy splash of whiskey into her glass and downed it. This time, it was her who needed the reinforcement of the whiskey.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Colin offered a weak apology.
“You didn’t upset me, Colin. All of this pain and anger is inside of me. Just as it’s inside of you. And just like you, I feel guilty that I get a second chance at life when they didn’t. But that’s no reason to drink yourself to death. You have an obligation to make your life count for something.”
When Colin didn’t respond, she knew he wasn’t ready to talk yet. So, she stood and looked down at him. “Now, if you’re through feeling sorry for yourself, I suggest you walk me home before your brother, the sheriff of this town and the man with the power to put us both in jail, figures out which one of us is the liar.”
He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. She watched him cut a wistful look toward the whiskey bottle sitting on the table between them. After several seconds passed, he blew out a breath in resignation and nodded. “Alright, let’s go.”
Colin stood and walked around to her side of the table and picked her coat before he spoke again. “I’m sorry you lost so much during…you know. I wish I could have stopped the…”
Emma placed her fingers across his lips to stop him from saying anything more. “No, don’t do that, Colin. Don’t look back. Nothing good can come of it. Just focus on the future. Whatever went wrong, you can make it right…if you will just try,” she pleaded.
A shiver ran through her body when Colin wrapped her coat around her shoulders and then draped her scarf around her neck and pulled it snug against her throat, his fingers raking her skin. “There. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold, now would we?” he mumbled.
Emma looked up at him and studied his scruffy face. Was he teasing her? She had no idea how to read him under all that beard. “No, we wouldn’t want that,” she admitted. “But I was wondering, if you are agreeable, of course. Would you be open for that shave now? That is, if I promise not to make jokes about inappropriate subjects.”
She held her breath in hopes she hadn’t pushed him too far again. He didn’t move and gave no indication if he was angry or found her humor off-putting. If she had upset him again, would he jump back into that bottle on the table next to them? She hoped not because then she would have to go get Sarah’s husband to rescue them both. And that wouldn’t be well received by anyone.
Just when she thought she had gone too far Colin did a most unexpected thing. His lips stretched across his face into a wide grin. He was grinning at her. And what a beautiful thing it was to see.
Emma’s breath caught and she was mesmerized by the sight. He was so handsome when he lost the brooding anger he carried around like a badge of honor. It made her wonder, once again, what had happened to him that was so horrible he thought himself better off dead.
“Emma? Are you alright?” She heard her name and realized she was staring at him again. This time, she was in the middle of a saloon.
“Yes, I’m alright. Better than alright,” she admitted. Then she realized how breathy her words sounded and she didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. “I think we better get going before your brother comes back and catches us standing in the middle of the saloon grinning like lunatics. Then he really would have reason to worry.”
He laughed. “My brother doesn’t need a reason, but let’s not push our luck.” He extended his arm to her. “Shall we?”
“Yes, we shall.” She took the arm he offered and wrapped her fingers around it. She liked the feel of his arm under her fingers and she found an unexpected sense of calm and contentment in his presence. It was as if she belonged here.
Suddenly, a shock of understanding hit her. This was the sign she had been searching for. This man was the reason she had been led to Angel Creek. The Good Lord had brought them both here to this remote town in the middle of nowhere to help each other heal from their wounds. Colin was the reason for this God-given opportunity. She just knew it and she woul
d not squander it.
Colin’s deep voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Are you ready?”
She looked up into his deep blue eyes and grinned. “I’ve been ready for quite some time.”
Chapter 9
Colin’s gut rumbled and he knew the reason behind the sick feeling. A quick glance at the half-empty bottle sitting on the table made him want to gag. It had been almost two weeks since his brother had kidnapped him from the rat hole he was living in, and during their trip to Angel Creek, Quinn’s insistence on keeping Colin away from the whiskey bottle had been fierce.
“Now it’s my turn to ask if you’re okay?” Emma’s voice pulled him from his misery.
He turned away from the bottle on the table and looked into Emma’s clear blue eyes full of concern. “Yeah, I’m just…” What could he say? That he’s relieved he wasn’t getting drunk?
“Just glad to be heading home for supper, is that what you were going to say? Well, I am too. I’m actually starving.” Emma grinned and looked up at him, understanding on her face.
“Yeah, I suppose that could be it.” He could tell by the grin on Emma’s face she knew the real reason he hesitated, but she was kind enough not to mention it.
“Then, shall we go?” She placed her hand on his arm. He looked down at the place where her fingers curved around his bicep.
“I think we probably should.” He allowed her to lead him through the crowded saloon full of men and women searching for the same kind of comfort Colin was…the kind of comfort one found at the bottom of a bottle.
Outside the saloon, the cold crisp evening air swirled and blustered. He had left his brother’s house earlier in a fit of anger, so he hadn’t bothered to think about, much less find, a coat. An involuntary shivered raced through his body as the frigid November wind was the informal harbinger of winter coming soon.
Emma must have felt him shudder. She snuggled closer to his body. “We aren’t far. Just another block or so. We can run back to the house if you want.”
He stopped and look down at her upturned face. “So you think I’m so far gone that I can’t run such a short distance?” he asked. His anger rising. He was getting sick and tired of being judged by everyone who knew nothing about—
“I didn’t say that. I asked you if you wanted to run. There’s a big difference, don’t you think? And that’s quite a chip you have on that shoulder of yours.” That sparkle was back in those big blue eyes of hers. She was teasing him again. Funny how he had only known her a few hours and he was already able to read her.
Suddenly, Colin felt a tiny spark of something. He wouldn’t put a name to it because there was no room in his life for…companionship. Besides, he didn’t deserve any kind of comfort. Not after what he’d let happen to his men. Without warning, Emma let go of his arm and down the boardwalk toward his brother’s house. “Why you little scamp. You cheated.” he called out after her and raced to catch up. But she had a head start and in less than a minute, she reached the front gate.
Lucky for him, she had to stop to lift the gate latch. He caught up with her halfway between the gate and the front porch. He pulled on her arm to slow her down so he could push past her, but when he did, she stuck out her foot and tripped him. Down he went onto the dried grass in the front yard pulling her down with him.
Colin fell onto the hard ground. His back absorbed the ground’s cold through his shirt. But then Emma landed on top of him, they were chest to chest and nose to nose and the cold didn’t bother him anymore at all.
“Oh.” Her breath whooshed warm and soft against his face as the impact of their fall knocked the air out of her lungs.
He grabbed hold of her arms to steady her and looked up into those soulful eyes of hers once again.
“Are you alright?” Colin didn’t know what else to say.
“Yes, of course. I’m fine.” She grinned down at him. “But I have to say I had no idea you were so competitive, Yankee Blue. I’ll have to watch out for that from now on when we decide a competition is in order.” Emma pointed out.
“There’s a lot about me you don’t know, Little Miss Southern Bell.”
He watched Emma’s gaze drop to his lips and the sudden urge to kiss her hit him hard. It had been a long time since he felt anything close to passion. He thought that part of him was dead, and yet…
He was warring with his emotions when the stern voice of his brother spoke from the front porch. “What on earth is going on out here? Do the two of you want to be the talk of the town? Get off the ground and come inside this house right this minute.”
Emma rolled off of him and jumped up to face his brother who was now scowling at them from the porch. Colin didn’t feel the need to jump to attention for his brother, so he took his time in getting up. The truth was his underweight body didn’t have the strength to jump up, especially since he had done nothing for the last year, but disappear inside a whiskey bottle. He wasn’t near the man he once was, but then wasn’t that the reason he had decided to drink his life away in the first place?
Emma extended her hand down to him to help him up. Colin shook his head no. “I’ll get up when I’m good and ready. You go on in, so the warden here doesn’t give you twenty to life for fraternizing with the drunken riffraff.”
He saw the look of resignation on Emma’s face. She turned and rushed onto the porch, offered his brother a curtsy, then disappeared inside the house leaving him and Quinn to sort out their differences.
“Are you going to keep lying on the ground like you don’t have good sense, Colin? People are gonna start to talk about you.” His brother stepped down off the porch and stood over him.
Colin dusted his hands together and leaned back on his arms directing his gaze to his shoes refusing to meet his brother’s glare.
“You know, Quinn. You’ve become a royal pain in the ass since I saw you last. Do you think because you’re the oldest you’ve gained some kind of fatherly power over me now that our father is gone? ‘Cause you haven’t. I’m a grown man and you have no authority over me. Period. I’m here because you left me no choice on the matter when you kidnapped me when I was unconscious. But I’m still here because I choose to be.”
Colin then looked up and stabbed his brother with a determined look. “But if you continue to treat me like a brainless kid brother, I’ll be on the next stage headed out of town and you won’t find me next time you come looking. Count on it.”
Quinn stared at him without speaking for a good two minutes. Colin was getting pretty damn cold sitting on the ground, but he wasn’t getting up—or giving in—until his brother heard him and agreed to his terms.
Finally, he saw his brother’s shoulders slump. He extended a hand toward Colin. “Okay, I promise to back off being your big brother if you’ll make me a promise in return.”
“And what’s that?” Colin looked at his brother’s hand without taking it.
“Promise me you’ll start taking better care of yourself. Promise me you’ll make an effort to stop drinking. And promise me you’ll let me and my family love you. Colin, you’re my brother. My family. That means something to me. And, I couldn’t bear it if…”
Colin saw the emotion gather in his brother’s eyes. He wasn’t comfortable with emotions anymore. His or anyone else’s so he quickly agreed. “Okay, that’s a lot of promises, but I’ll try. And, I’ll admit it may not look like it, but I can take care of myself.” Colin reached out and took his brother’s hand and with his help stood. Eye to eye, they stared at each other until Quinn nodded in agreement. “Okay, I’ll agree to your terms if you’ll stop trying to kill yourself. Agreed?”
Colin thought about what Quinn was asking of him. He wasn’t sure he could control his urge to drink anymore, but he could try. At least while he remained in Angel Creek…however long that was. “Agreed. I’ll do the best I can considering the circumstances. That’s all I can promise.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
Colin could tell his brother
had more on his mind. Might as well get it all out now. “Go ahead, Quinn. Ask whatever it is you can’t leave alone, but know that just because you ask me a question, doesn’t mean I can answer it.”
“You said ‘considering the circumstances’. Would you mind sharing with me just what that means? What circumstances?”
Colin could tell his brother only wanted to help, but he wasn’t ready to share with anyone the awful truth about himself…or that day.
“I…can’t. At least not yet.”
“Someday? Maybe?” Quinn’s look of concern softened Colin’s determination.
“Maybe someday, Quinn. Maybe…someday.”
Quinn threw his arm around his shoulders and together they walked into the house. For that moment…Colin felt like himself again, but he knew it wouldn’t last.
Chapter 10
Emma rushed inside the house to find Sarah standing at the doorway. She quickly told Sarah what happened at the saloon and begged her not to tell her husband the real reason she and Colin were in the saloon.
“Quinn told me what you said to him. I’m not sure why you took the blame when you were the one who went out to find him, but I’m sure you had your reasons, so I didn’t correct your story.”
“Thank you, Sarah. Um…Colin and Quinn are outside in the front yard talking and I’d rather not make myself available to your lawman husband’s line of questioning. If you don’t mind, I’ll just say goodnight.”
“Of course.” Sarah hugged her and ushered her upstairs. Emma wasted no time and quickly disappeared inside her room. She flung herself on her bed and covered her face with her pillow. How on earth had she let herself get into such a situation?
She was so embarrassed at being caught in such inappropriate circumstances, first in the saloon and then in the front yard. And both times she had been in the company of Colin—the one she was supposed to be helping—not aiding and abetting in his bad habits. Emma knew by the look on Quinn’s face, that he had not been happy about any of it. Would her behavior make him change his mind about letting her stay in his home? She supposed if he did, she could stay with one of the other girls from Charleston, but she would be humiliated at being asked to remove herself because of bad behavior.
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