Emma

by Peggy McKenzie

  Emma reached up and placed her finger on his lips. “Please, don’t apologize. It was exactly what I needed. What we both needed, don’t you think?”

  Colin looked down into the face of the woman he had labeled as a pampered princess. He had insulted her with his words because she was anything but pampered. And she was much too kind and giving to be spoiled. A wave of monumental regret rushed over him nearly buckling him at the knees. He closed his eyes against the pain as regret filled every nook and cranny of his lost soul.

  “Colin, are you alright?” Emma’s voice pulled at his despair.

  He looked down at her and saw her concern for him. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be alright again, Emma.”

  “Whatever it is that haunts you, Colin…whatever has convinced you that you don’t deserve anything good..we can overcome it. I can help you. You just have to give me a chance.”

  He saw her sincerity and was overwhelmed by her genuine concern for him. It didn’t matter that Quinn had shown that same concern. He was family so he was required to care, but this woman—a total stranger—and an enemy to boot. Why should she care? Why would she?

  He studied her a bit longer and wondered if there was the slightest chance that he might… It was that thought, that thread of hope that called the ghosts of all those men who died because of him to rise up in indignation and remind him that he could not have a future. Not with Emma or anyone else. She would be better off without him messing up her life. He took a step back and saw the confusion on her face.

  “Colin?”

  “I can’t do this, Emma. Please don’t ask me to,” he begged. He wasn’t certain how many times he could turn her away before he allowed his needs to supersede his consideration for hers.

  “You mean you can’t do this right now. I understand. We’ve just met, and—”

  He cut her off. “No, I can’t do this ever. I’m no good for you, Emma. You deserve better than someone like me.”

  He watched her concern turn to anger. “Well, if you aren’t the king of the pompous asses.”

  Colin had expected a reaction to his rejection, but not this. “King of pompous—”

  “That’s right. You’re a pompous ass. And a hypocrite to boot. You rant and rave that your brother is making your decisions for you and you say you hate it. Well, what do you think you’re doing right this minute? You are making decisions for me and I won’t have it!” Emma railed at him.

  “But…I…” he stammered unsure how to proceed.

  “There is no but. Now, shut up and stand still because I’m going to kiss you whether you like it or not.”

  Colin had never met anyone like Emma Bowen before, and he was pretty sure he never would again. She reached up with her arms and circled his neck holding him tight as if she were afraid he would run away. She had no need to worry about that because he wasn’t moving a single muscle until he saw where this was going.

  She stepped up close to him, pressing her body against his. Her scent set his blood on fire and it pulsed throughout his body including the places he thought long void of desire. Her gaze held him captive.

  “I’m going to kiss you now, Colin, so please don’t be afraid. I promise not to hurt you.” He saw the humor dancing in her sparkling blue eyes and knew she was teasing him once again. He really didn’t mind one bit in spite of his pretense to the contrary.

  He watched her lean in and close her eyes just before their lips touched. Passions and possibilities swirled around inside his head. Emma pressed her lips and body even closer. Colin tried to remain stiff and unyielding so not to encourage her, but despite the voices inside his head telling him he didn’t deserve to feel anything, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her back.

  Chapter 12

  Emma stepped away from Colin refusing to look at him. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. Willfully, intentionally, and purposefully, she had thrown herself at the man and kissed him. She should be ashamed of herself. Her mother would be appalled at Emma’s forward behavior God rest the woman’s soul.

  “Um, I guess it’s my turn to apologize. Anyway, let’s blame all of this on a stressful year and pretend like it never happened, okay?” Emma didn’t give him a chance to reply. It would be too embarrassing to speak openly about her behavior. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen and get started on those cookies, shall we?”

  Without waiting for him to answer, Emma turned on her heels and rushed out of the room through the dining room and into the kitchen. Her face heated with embarrassment at her unseemly behavior, but alone she could admit to herself she liked kissing Colin. She liked it a lot.

  “Are you alright?” Colin’s voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned to see him standing at the kitchen door concern evident in the frown across his forehead.

  “Of course, I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be alright?” She scrambled under the counter for the sugar and flour tins. She set them on the counter and almost knocked them off when she spun around to face the reason for her embarrassment. “Oh, you mean that little kiss in the other room? It was nothing. It isn’t like I haven’t done that sort of thing before.” She rambled on and then she realized what she had just said. She shot another embarrassed look toward Colin. “Oh, no. What I mean is…well, what I meant to say was that I’ve kissed a gentleman or two before…or rather they’ve kissed me…before.” She wished she could be swallowed up into the floorboards because she would rather live under the house than face Colin at this moment.

  She heard his deep chuckle. Was he laughing at her? She couldn’t bear it if he were.

  “Let’s just forget that ever happened, shall we? What kind of cookies do you like? Gingerbread or sugar?” Emma busied herself with getting the butter and milk from the icebox.

  She realized Colin was still standing at the door watching her. She could only imagine what he thought of her. First, the drink in the saloon. Then, their tussle on the ground in the front yard. And now, this.

  “I had something else sweet in mind. “Colin’s answer came out in a low growl. She turned to look at him and his gaze dropped to her lips. Her stomach somersaulted at the thought that he might want to kiss her. Should she encourage him? Yes, she most certainly should. She grinned.

  He pushed himself off the door frame and came to stand in front of her, his hand caressing her arms. “I shouldn’t be doing this, Emma. We shouldn’t be doing this. I’m no good for you, but I can’t seem to deny myself another taste of your sweet lips. May I?” His words were soft and low.

  He was asking her if he could kiss her? Emma stepped into his arms and whispered against his mouth, “You may.”

  Her heart punched her ribs when his head bent to hers. His beard brushed against her face before his lips met hers. His kiss was soft and sweet and sensuous. She thought her knees would buckle at the sensations he was causing in her body. He pushed her gently against the counter and pressed his body against hers. She could feel his desire and knew she should call a halt to their behavior, but she wasn’t ready. At least, not yet.

  Without warning, Colin pulled away. “I think we’ve shocked enough sensibilities today, don’t you? It wouldn’t bode well for either of us if Sarah and Quinn were to come home and catch us…misbehaving…or rather cooking.” He stepped back and took a couple of deep breaths. She felt a little breathless herself. And warm all over.

  “Okay, Emma. Now that you have my undivided attention, show me what to do first. How do we go about baking these cookies?”

  It took Emma a moment to catch up with Colin’s change in direction, but she caught on. “First, you wash your hands. Then, you put this on.” Emma pulled an apron off the hook by the stove and tossed it to him.

  He caught it and held it up as if it had something foul on it. “This has lace all over it,” he complained and placed it on the counter next to the sink while he washed his hands.

  “So? It’s not like you’re going to prance around town in it. It’s just the two of us and I won’t tell if you won
’t,” she teased.

  He turned to her while he dried his hands on the dishcloth. “It seems we have a lot of secrets we won’t be telling.” His gaze once again dropped to her lips and she stood mesmerized.

  “Um…I...” she stammered. Her brain couldn’t think of a single word to throw back at him. He grinned at her and she had to admit, it was a sight she could certainly get used to.

  Despite his protests about wearing lace, he looped the apron around his neck and tied the strings behind his back. “Okay, boss lady. What’s next? Tell me what to do. I’m yours to command.”

  She knew he was teasing, but the idea he would follow her lead and do as she commanded was…exhilarating…and frightening. What would she command him to do? Her face heated with embarrassment as her mind wandered back around to their kiss.

  “Is everything alright? You look a little flushed. Are you coming down with something?” He reached out and touched her cheeks and forehead with the back of his hand. She willed herself not to lean into his touch.

  “I’m fine. It’s nothing. Now, let’s get started on those cookies, shall we?” She moved away from his touch and handed him a large mixing bowl. “Here. You hold the bowl as I put in the ingredients, then you can mix it all together.”

  He did as she instructed and when she was done she handed him a large wooden spoon. “Now it’s your turn. Mix away.”

  He took the wooden spoon from her, their fingers touched in the exchange. “Would you like to show me the proper way to mix since I’ve never done this sort of thing before?” His words were innocent enough but the look he gave her burned a hole in her soul.

  Emma didn’t say a word. Instead, she placed her hand next to his on the spoon’s long wooden handle. Skin against skin, she pushed the spoon around in the bowl. “You move the ingredients around gently at first, so you don’t cause the flour to puff out of the bowl and get all over everything.”

  She felt the push of his hand against the spoon. “You mean, like this?” He gave the spoon a hard push causing the flour to do exactly what she said and puff out of the bowl in a cloud of white. It covered the counter, the floor, and the front of their aprons.

  “Yes, like that. You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” She stepped back and looked at the mess she was going to insist he clean up.

  “What if I did? What are you going to do about it?” He challenged.

  “I shall give you what for, that’s what I’m going to do about it.” Emma reached into the bowl and scooped up a handful of flour and flicked it into his face. Now, his beard was dusted with flour and there was bits of egg dripping onto the floor. The shocked look on his face was hysterical. She tossed her head back and laughed.

  “Oh, you think that’s funny, do you Little Miss Southern Belle? Well, be prepared to get as good as you give.”

  She watched Colin pick up the wooden spoon and give the handle a flick of his wrist sending more flour and eggs and sugar through the air. Her face and hair were now as white as his beard.

  “Oh, you…tricky devil. Be prepared to be bested.” She grabbed the tub of butter and dipped her hand into it.

  Colin’s eyes rounded. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  Emma laughed. “Oh, yes I would dare. This will teach you to underestimate your opponent, Yankee Blue.” She lunged at him intending to smear the butter on his face, but he reached out and encircled her wrist with his fingers to stop her advancement. “Don’t think for one minute your brute strength is going to undermine my victory, sir, for I am prepared to win at all costs—” she declared her intentions.

  Colin’s playful expression changed. He pulled her to him by her wrist, her hand still holding the glob of butter. He grabbed her other arm and pulled her against him. “And what are you prepared to do to win, Miss Bowen? Will you give your all or are those hollow words when you learn the cost of your victory?”

  Emma wasn’t sure what he was talking about anymore. He seemed angry instead of the playful man he was moments ago.

  “I…always give my all when I’ve made my mind up, Mr. Cassidy. And I will never go back on a promise. Can you say the same?” She held her breath hoping she hadn’t pushed him too far again sending him running back to his bottle of whiskey at the saloon.

  He stood without moving for several heartbeats. He stared at her as if he were looking for something. An answer to a question he hadn’t asked. And then without warning, he leaned in and kissed her again, but this time it was no soft sweet kiss. His lips demanded her submission and she gave it to him freely.

  She waited for him to second guess his decision and pull away. Instead, he pulled her closer to him without breaking their kiss. His hands left her arms and tangled in her hair.

  Emma couldn’t stop a sign from escaping her lips and it seemed to be the catalyst that destroyed his remaining restraint. He turned his mouth against hers and deepened their kiss. She nearly swooned as his tongue parted her lips and invaded the soft recesses of her mouth.

  Her hands invaded his hair of their own volition. Somewhere in the back of her muddled brain, she remembered the wad of butter she fisted, but she would worry about that later. Perhaps another hair cut would be in order.

  He pushed her up against the kitchen counter and leaned over her deepening their kiss once more. She had never felt such passion, such fire, and she wanted everything he had to give. She reached both arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

  He held her with one arm while his other hand explored. His hand caressed her leg beneath her stocking raising the hem of her dress up and over her knee. She leaned into his kiss even more, encouraging him to continue.

  His hand hesitated for a moment before heading north from her knee and gingerly tracing up her thigh until…

  The front door closed, and his brother’s voice called out from the foyer. “Where is everyone? Sarah and I brought you two some dinner from the restaurant. Colin? Emma?”

  Colin jumped back and shoved her skirt down. He pulled her away from the cabinet and spun her around to face the mixing bowl. She watched him grab the broom and begin sweeping the flour off the floor putting enough distance between them that it would be hard to jump to the conclusion they were up to something.

  “What the hell happened in here?” Quinn demand to know when he saw them. Sarah was right behind her husband. She stopped short and her eyes rounded in surprise. She sent Emma a look of question.

  “I would think that obvious, dear brother. Emma and I were…cooking and…” Colin shot her a look filled with amusement. She had to look away to keep from grinning like a monkey, so she focused on Sarah’s curious face and offered her own explanation.

  “Yes, that’s it exactly. We were cooking.”

  Chapter 13

  Colin wanted to throw his head back and laugh. What a cheeky little thing Emma was. First, she kissed him and then when he reciprocated, she jumped in with both feet.

  Emma was no tease like most of the women he had known to initiate the chase. Oh no, she didn’t run away expecting him to follow. She had met him head-on and gave as good as she got. Thoughts of their earlier kisses heated his blood again. He forced himself to focus on his brother’s presence.

  Emma stepped from behind him and inhaled a deep breath. He assumed it was to gather her courage to face his brother, but the woman had already demonstrated she had plenty of courage. What she needed now was reinforcements and he had her back.

  “Look, Quinn. This is embarrassing enough without having to have a conversation about it, don’t you think? Emma and I were trying to bake some cookies, when I decided to have some fun and throw flour in her hair. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but I can see my sense of humor wasn’t—isn’t appreciated. And don’t worry about this mess, Sarah. Emma and I will clean it up. You’ll never even know it happened. You have my word.”

  Quinn stood in the doorway and stared at him. “You were trying to have fun? That’s an improvement.” His brother turned to Emma. “Thank you. I’m glad
to know there’s still a small spark of life in my brother. I appreciate you tolerating his moodiness long enough to bring that spark back to life.”

  Colin wasn’t liking where this conversation was going. Thank goodness Sarah decided to move things along a bit. “Quinn, why don’t you join me in putting the baby to bed. I’m sure Colin and Emma can handle the situation here.” She glanced around the messy kitchen. “If you need help cleaning up, let me know. Otherwise, I’ll leave you two to…take care of this.”

  He felt Emma’s relief beside him. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Sarah. Emma is a quick learner in the…cooking department.” He watched her cheeks blush with embarrassment, but she quickly recovered.

  She added her own comment. “That’s right and I’m sure Colin will have no trouble learning how to clean up. No trouble at all.”

  Colin could tell Sarah wanted to smile but considering the deep scowl of her husband who was standing right beside her, she must have thought better of it. Instead, she handed the sleeping baby to Quinn and led him out of the kitchen.

  Emma let out a sigh of relief. He knew she was worried about the consequences of this evening’s activities. He was too. He should never have allowed things to go this far. Especially when his experiences with women usually led to awkward conversations. He always left them with an explanation that he wasn’t the marrying kind while they did their best to convince him they were the one who could help him see marriage differently. And now, he was going to have to have that conversation with Emma.

  Colin racked his brain for a solution as to how he was going to handle this latest ill-planned and ill-advised exchange between him and his little southern belle—what the hell? His southern belle? Oh hell no. She wasn’t his…anything.

  “Look, I should apologize…” He searched for just the right words to soften what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t think of any.