“I don’t know. I just grab whatever,” she lied. She knew what shampoo and conditioner she used and she knew they liked it. That Fort liked it. So she spent extra time scrubbing her head, infusing the scent into her so they would each inhale against her head when they hugged her hello or when they got close. Why she did that when she was trying to resist this attraction was beyond her understanding. When she felt weak, like giving in and just kissing them, she thought about Canton and his sexual assault, his demeaning, controlling words and his threats. She wouldn’t bring trouble toward these men and she didn’t think she was even capable of being intimate. The thought of sex, what it stood for, and the vulnerability she would feel, scared the hell out of her. No man would control her by sexual desire, by her body and by holding her down and forcing himself between her legs. She just didn’t trust men at all, despite how guilty she felt lumping these four specific men into that same category. Perhaps that was just her desire wanting her to give in. She had to resist.
All these emotions, the confusion and crazy thoughts were making her tired and giving her restless nights where she woke screaming for help and for Canton to stop. She was so tired.
As she helped Fort back into bed, he moaned and then cursed.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she said to him as she helped adjust his pillow and then the covers.
“No, it isn’t. You’ll think I’m a fucking pussy,” he blurted out, and the scowl on his face did her in. She reached over and caressed his jaw. He stared at her.
“I don’t think that. You were shot. All your muscles need to recover, and getting in and out of bed, walking and using them, plus using others to take the pressure off where your wound is all add to the extra aches and pains. I’m here to help, and I think you’re pretty damn strong and brave.” She stroked his cheek and he stared at her with such hunger in his eyes that she started to pull back. He gripped her hand so quickly she was shocked at the move but saw that it hurt him to do that. He clenched his teeth and then exhaled.
“Stay here with me,” he said and then scooted over, clenching his teeth and pulling her by her hand.
“Fort, I shouldn’t. I think I need to check on dinner.”
“You said it was ready and covered in the oven to keep warm. Stay with me. I saw you yawning. You look a little tired. Come on. I hate being alone,” he said to her, and she debated and then nodded her head. She slid off her shoes and got onto the bed, being sure not to lean against him. He laid on his back and then turned to look at her as she lay on her side, placed her hands under her face and head in a praying position.
“Where did you learn how to cook?” he asked her and blinked his eyes. He was tired from overexerting himself. She worried her bottom lip and looked over all the muscles on his body, and then the bruising around the bandage where he was shot. It aroused her, made her proud to know Fort, and also wonder how difficult it must be to be a girlfriend or even wife of an active duty soldier. That snapped her out of it and she answered his question.
“I always enjoyed cooking. Back in New Jersey, at the…at our house we would have a lot of company all the time and had to cook in big batches. It was a party most nights.” She thought about the crew of men who worked for the business. About how the women cooked a bunch and then served out the food. They would all drink and eat, then party a little bit. It had been fun to be part of, but then Canton came into her life and swept her off her feet. Her dad approved quickly and then things progressed.
“You’re good at it. Everything tastes delicious. We appreciate the help,” he said and then yawned.
She smirked.
“Let me get up so you can rest.” She went to move and he grabbed her thigh.
“Stay. Please,” he said, and she lay there just watching him and soon he was sound asleep. She licked her lips, absorbed the glorious features of the man. He was so tall, muscular, and just big all over. He had a thick, muscular waist, tight six pack for abs, and pectoral muscles that were so defined she wanted to reach out and touch them—and his arm muscles were big and very defined, too. He was a god. Her core tingled and she wanted to reach out and stroke his skin, kiss it, explore it, but then those thoughts led to making love to him, and she couldn’t. The tears stung her eyes and she closed them tight, seeing Canton with his teeth clenched, his hands bruising her skin on her arms as he pounded into her body.
Sex was a form of control, of dominance. A way for a man to possess and weaken her, not build her up, be one and empower her together. How could she even consider letting Fort, Breaker, Lux, or Scout touch her down there, never mind have sex with her? The thought that she was comparing making love to them to being assaulted by Canton caused the tears to roll down her cheeks. She wiped them away and scooted closer to Fort. She didn’t stroke his skin the way she really wanted to. She just pressed close enough to feel the heat of his body, the security and safety of being so close to such a charismatic and capable soldier and she took complete advantage of that and fell asleep.
* * * *
Lux stood by the doorway of his brother’s bedroom and couldn’t help but smile, as well as feel relieved. When he got home he thought Mercy had left. That something happened, and it bothered him to feel like she was a flight risk or something. The house smelled incredible. Her cooking was out of this world, and he loved smelling her scent and seeing her sweater over the chair, how feminine and sexy that was. He had even brought it to his nose and sniffed it, then looked at the label, a size small. She was petite, feminine, and she needed protection. Scout and Breaker knew that, too, and they were making plans, trying to come up with ways to nonchalantly provide her with the security of their company with hopes of eventually her finding security and safety in their arms.
Lux took a deep breath and exhaled. She looked sexy, content, lying there with her shirt slightly lifted, her side and back skin showing. Her hand was over Fort’s arm hugging it, and the poor guy couldn’t even enjoy it because he was out cold.
Lux heard the footsteps and glanced over his shoulder. Scout and Breaker were there. They squinted but were quiet as they approached.
“Damn, look at them,” Scout whispered.
“Look at Mercy,” Breaker said, and then Mercy started to move. Breaker and Scout headed back to the kitchen, Lux remained. As Mercy moved, Fort moaned and she stopped, lifted up and reached over to caress his cheek. The floor creaked as Lux walked in. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide and appearing surprised like she got busted for caring. Lux knew that she did care about them. That the attraction was there, but other shit stood in the way.
“He wakes up cranky because the pain meds wear off,” he whispered to her and came around the side of the bed.
“I can’t believe I fell asleep. I didn’t realize how tired I was,” she whispered and pulled down her shirt and began to get up.
“Because you were content,” Fort said and then grunted.
He was awake. Holy shit, his brother was awake and remained like that so Mercy would stay close. Lux smirked.
“I’ve got the pills here and some water.”
“No. I’ve got something better right here,” Fort said and looked at Mercy.
She worried her bottom lip and started to ease up. “You need pain medicine,” she said, and he turned, cursed at the pain, and took her hand, stopping her. She leaned back, falling off balance, and his brother somehow pressed half over her. She gasped.
“Fort, you’ll hurt yourself. What the hell are you thinking?” she asked.
He stared into her eyes and kept one arm over her waist, keeping her in place under him. “Who can think when such a beautiful, sweet woman like you is caring about me, staying with me and keeping me safe?” he asked, then lowered down and kissed her chin and her cheek.
She looked shocked.
“Keeping you safe?” she whispered, staring at him.
“You sure were, and I appreciate that. I was having trouble sleeping, and felt restless. With you next to me I didn’t move, and so
I didn’t feel pain and wake up. So thank you,” he said and kissed the corner of her mouth.
She closed her eyes and Fort pushed for a little more. He kissed her lips and stroked her shoulder, but then eased back and tried rolling to his back. She sat up to help him, and as she lifted he pulled her on top of him, his hand over her ass.
“Fort,” she reprimanded.
He chuckled. “Don’t leave me, Mercy. I like having you here. I need you.” He stroked his palm over her ass, and Lux watched and hoped that she didn’t push away.
“Your brothers are probably hungry. I’ll help them and then bring in a plate for you?” she asked. He shook his head.
“I’ll go in the kitchen to eat when it’s ready. You’ll help me, right?” he asked. She stared at him, tears were in her eyes.
“Don’t play games with me, Fort,” she said to him and started to get up.
“No games, just honesty. I need you and want you. We’ll take it slow. I have no choice right now anyway,” he said and winked.
She firmed her lips. “Friends, remember?”
“How can we forget when you keep reminding us?” he said to her.
“There’s the grumpy side of him now. You need painkillers,” Lux chimed in. Fort mumbled and cringed.
“Yes he does, and we’ll see about dinner in the kitchen,” she said, and as she got up she looked at Lux and gave him a wink before she headed out of the room.
“You lucky bastard,” Lux whispered. Fort smirked, but then got serious.
“Break her down. Make her see this is real. I want her in our beds, between us, and fully our woman.”
Lux nodded his head.
“We do, too. We’ll work on making her happy and making her trust this is real and can be. Now, are you seriously going to eat in the kitchen?”
“I’m going to fucking try, and when I can’t sit any longer, I’ll be sure to ask Mercy to help me back to bed, not one of you guys,” he said and Lux chuckled.
“We’ll see about that, slick,” Lux said, and Fort closed his eyes and waited for the painkillers to kick in.
* * * *
“You fell in, Lux, and it was a fucking nightmare trying to get you out of there, never mind the smell,” Scout said, and Breaker chuckled. Mercy couldn’t stop laughing. They told story after story about each of them getting into some kind of funny predicament while on a mission or returning. Even Fort was laughing, but then complaining about the pain and begging for them to stop.
It was long past dinner, and even dessert, and she glanced at her watch.
“Oh God, it’s late.” She stood up, and they all looked so serious. Fort took her hand.
“Help me to bed.”
She stared at him.
“Fort,” she said his name, reprimanding him for trying to get her back into his bed. He pulled her closer between his legs and slid his palms up and down her outer thighs.
“If you tuck me in I’ll sleep better.”
“You’re are so full of shit,” she said, and they all laughed.
When she felt his palms slide up her ass, she gripped his shoulders. “Fort.”
“Kiss me goodnight, Mercy. As a friend, as a woman who is attracted to me, to us, and don’t think about anything else but how you feel with my hands on your ass and my brothers watching,” he said to her, and she felt emotional, scared, yet completely aroused. He gave her ass a squeeze.
“Come on. I don’t have much energy left,” he said.
“It wouldn’t be smart.”
“It makes sense though. You feel it like we all do,” Scout added.
“Focus on me. On what it felt like to lay in bed next to me and feel safe, secure, content,” Fort pushed.
“I can’t.”
“You won’t,” Breaker said.
“It’s impossible,” she whispered.
Fort squeezed her ass and pulled her closer. She had to hold onto his shoulders to not fall against him. “I’ll hurt you,” she said.
“Only if you deny these feelings and keep pushing us away. I loved having you close to me today. Having you care, actually care, about me. No woman has ever done that and unconditionally. You don’t want something from me, you just want to give and be here.”
“I’m your friend,” she whispered, and it sounded lame to her own ears.
“You’re more than that.”
“No, Fort.” She shook her head and then felt the body press up against her back and an arm wrap around her midsection.
Lux kissed the top of her head and then her shoulder.
“So much more than a friend. To all of us.”
Tears fell from her eyes. She wanted so much and felt so much, but was scared. She couldn’t take a chance and get hurt, or get them involved with something when Canton came. He would come, she knew that.
“Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you accept my need for this to be a friendship?”
“Because it’s way more than that. We all feel much more than that,” Breaker said, standing up along with Scout. They stepped closer. Now they were all surrounding her.
“Whatever this guy did to you, we aren’t him and we won’t do that to you, too,” Scout said to her and took her hand, pressing it against his chest.
She stared up into their eyes, at all of them except for Lux, who remained behind her, holding her and kissing her neck and shoulder.
“Let down that guard and let us in,” Lux said.
“It isn’t so easy. I was betrayed, used, abused, hurt in ways that I just can’t explain or want to tell you about.”
“With time you will. You’re beginning to trust us as we’re trusting you,” Breaker said.
“The distrust, the uncertainty and inability to decipher truth from trick isn’t easy right now for me. I can’t let down my guard. I’m in too deep,” she said to them.
“Not too deep that we can’t save you. Like the stories we were telling, like Lux falling in the thick, deep mud that was like quicksand, it kept swallowing his efforts to get out and drew him deeper and deeper. We were there for him, for one another, and we’re here now for you. Don’t let whatever this dick did swallow you up and leave you helpless. Let us in,” Breaker said.
She stared at him. It was how she felt. Like she was stuck in quicksand and sinking deeper and deeper in her emotions, the betrayal and fear. She would always fear Canton, and remember his strikes, his assault on her body, and his words. Could she trust these four men and let go?
“Do it, baby, we’ll catch you,” Lux said.
“We have her right now,” Scout said, and then Fort massaged her ass.
“Kiss me, Mercy. Take the first step and we won’t let you fall,” Fort said, and she stared down into his eyes and found herself moving closer and closer as tears rolled down her cheeks, her heart raced, her body shook, and she made the initiative, pressing her lips to Fort’s and letting go.
* * * *
A Chris Stapleton song was playing on the radio as Fort released Mercy to Lux, who, instead of kissing her like his brother had, hugged her in his arms and caressed her back and her ass, then squeezed her to him. Scout watched her hug him back. When she turned her face to look at Scout and Breaker, Scout was shocked. Her cheek pressed against Lux’s chest, her eyes red and glossy, and she stared at them, looking scared and unsure. He had second thoughts. How bad had things really been with her ex? He wondered and then she reached her hand out to him and Lux kissed her head and watched.
Scout immediately took her hand and stepped closer. Lux released her to him and he cupped her cheek and stared down into her eyes.
“Don’t look so scared, baby, please. We won’t hurt you,” he said and looked into her gorgeous light green eyes, at her face, and her lips and tried to see what she was thinking, but couldn’t.
“I am scared, Scout. For a lot of reasons, but I can’t deny how you all make me feel. I just don’t know how much I can give you.”
“Right now, you’re giving us so much. You’re letting u
s know that this is real and we’re all feeling the same things. We’ll work it all out. We’ll show you that it’s real,” he said and lowered down to press a kiss to her lips. He kept it light, soft, despite wanting more. He knew she needed slow, and it was obvious how much he cared about Mercy already that he didn’t push for more. Not yet, anyway. Not until they figured out what else held her back.
Breaker reached out and caressed her hair, remained holding a fistful and gave her hair a gentle tug. She smiled softly and Scout released her to Breaker, who pulled her into his arms and remained holding her hair and used his other hand to stroke her throat as he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him right back and moaned into his mouth. Scout looked at Fort and then Lux, who smiled softly and nodded their heads indicating that they made major progress and this was good. Scout sure hoped so, because he already had major strong feelings for this woman, and it was a first for him and the team. Hopefully she wouldn’t break their hearts.
* * * *
Breaker didn’t want to leave her when he followed her to her place. She stared at him as they stood by her car. She leaned back against the front of the car with her hands on the hood, facing him. He stood there, looking her over, wanting so much, needing to ask questions and wanting to get down to her fears and help her heal.
“So what’s your schedule like tomorrow?” he asked.
“I have a workout to do with Laci and the girls, then some cleaning in the house. You’re all off tomorrow Scout said, so you don’t need my help.”
“Doesn’t mean we don’t want to see you.”
She looked away.
He reached out and stroked her cheek, making her look up at him.
“Doesn’t mean we don’t want to see you, spend time with you, you know?”
She took a deep breath and then exhaled. “Tonight was a lot to take in. I need time to process it.”
“Don’t process it, or analyze it, just let it be, Mercy. Whenever we overthink things it turns to chaos in our heads. We’re all guilty of it.”
Sons of Justice 2 The School Teacher Page 8