Room on the Porch Swing

by Amy Clipston

  After he’d put Mollie to bed three hours ago, he’d checked his voice mail and was relieved when he found Laura’s message confirming she would start coming tomorrow. His daughter would be safe in Laura’s care while he worked. Now he just needed to get some rest. But first he had to turn off his swirling thoughts.

  He rolled onto his side, facing the wall next to Savilla’s side of the bed. He reached out and touched the cold sheets as memories took over his thoughts. He remembered their first night together in this house, the night of their wedding. It seemed as if that had been last month, not nearly two years ago.

  When he’d married Savilla, he’d been certain they’d grow old together. He’d imagined sitting on the back porch and holding hands while watching their grandchildren play on a swing set in their backyard. It wasn’t fair that her life had been snuffed out when she was only twenty-two, barely a year after they’d married. Why had God chosen to take her away when they’d just begun their life together?

  Closing his eyes, he tried in vain to push away the memories. It was a sin to question God’s will. Besides, he needed sleep so he could tackle his projects in the shop with fresh eyes tomorrow.

  Just as he started to drift off, a piercing sound split through the dark room. He sat up and spun toward the door.

  “Ma-ma-ma-ma! Maaaaaaa!” Mollie shrieked.

  Allen grabbed a lantern off his nightstand, flipped it on, and rushed down the hallway to the nursery. He crossed the floor to Mollie’s crib, where she stood holding on to the rails and screaming. Her little face was red as fat tears streamed down her cheeks.

  “Ach, mei liewe.” His heart twisted as he set the lantern on the floor and lifted her into his arms. “Shh, baby girl.” He walked backward to the rocker and sank into it. “It’s okay, Mollie Faith. Your daddy is here now.”

  He rocked her in a gentle motion as she buried her face into his shoulder and the tears continued to flow. He sighed and patted her little bottom as his thoughts turned to Savilla and how she would rock Mollie back to sleep. Even Irma Mae seemed to have the gift of calming Mollie when she was upset. She usually didn’t spend the night anymore, but if only Irma Mae were here now.

  Closing his eyes, Allen rocked until Mollie was asleep. When he stood and laid her back in the crib, her eyes flew open.

  “Maaaaaa! Ma-ma-ma-ma!” Her wail tore through the room, and she again stood, grabbed the rails, and started jumping up and down.

  “Okay, okay. I won’t leave you, Mollie.” Allen picked her up and returned to the chair, and they rocked back and forth. Perhaps he wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.

  As he leaned his head against Mollie, he breathed in her scent—baby wash combined with diaper cream—and he closed his eyes. It was going to be a long night.

  “Gude mariye,” Laura sang as she stepped into Allen’s mudroom the following morning. “Wie geht’s?”

  “I’m all right. How are you?” He reached for her large tote bag, and she handed it to him.

  “I’m fine. Danki.” She followed him into the kitchen, where Mollie sat in her high-chair eating Cheerios. “Wie geht’s, Mollie?” She crossed the floor and touched Mollie’s shock of blond curls. “How are you, sweetheart?”

  Mollie looked up at her and sputtered.

  “I guess that means you’re well.” Laura laughed and then turned to Allen as he removed the four portable Pyrex containers from her tote bag and put them on the counter. “I brought meals for lunch and dinner. And don’t worry—they aren’t casseroles.”

  His shoulders hunched and he frowned. “I really didn’t mean that.”

  “I’m just teasing you.” She chuckled, and his face relaxed a fraction. She idly wondered when she’d seen him smile last. Was it before Savilla died? She walked to the counter and picked up the containers. “Do you mind if I put them in the refrigerator?”

  “Go right ahead.” He gestured toward the appliance. “Let me help you.”

  “No, I can do it.” She piled the containers on the top shelf of the refrigerator and closed its door.

  Allen leaned back against the sink and cupped his hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn. Then he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. She’d already taken in the dark purple rings under his tired blue orbs.

  “You’re exhausted.” She stepped closer to him, worried.

  He snorted. “Ya, I am.”

  “Did you sleep at all last night?”

  He shook his head. “Not much.”

  “What happened?”

  He rubbed the back of his head with one hand and then looked past her toward Mollie. “I couldn’t sleep because I had too much on my mind. Just as I was about to drift off, she started crying. I rocked her for most of the night. I slept maybe an hour.”

  “Ach, no. Why don’t you go take a nap?”

  He shook his head as he covered his mouth to stifle another yawn. “I have too much to do out in the shop. I need to get three buggies done by Friday.”

  He pushed off the counter and then nodded toward Mollie. “She ate a piece of brot and a scrambled egg, so she should be full. I’m going to take care of my horse, and then I’ll be in the shop if you need me.” He waved at Mollie and left.

  Allen stepped into the house at noon and sat down on the mudroom bench to remove his work boots.

  In the kitchen, he found Laura sitting beside Mollie’s high chair as she broke some cheese into pieces. “I’m Laura. Say Laura. Come on, now. You can say it. Say Laura.” She pronounced the word slowly as she handed Mollie a piece of cheese.

  “Ma-ma-ma,” Mollie responded before shoving the cheese into her mouth.

  “No, that’s not it.” Laura chuckled. “Try again. Laura.” She drew out the name. “You can do it. Laura.”

  Warmth, sudden and unexpected, hummed through Allen.

  Mollie met Allen’s gaze and squealed. “Da! Da! Dat!”

  Laura turned toward him, and her face lit up with a wide smile. “That’s right! That’s your dat.”

  Mollie squealed again and clapped her hands against the high chair’s tray.

  “I didn’t hear you come in.” Laura placed another piece of cheese in front of Mollie.

  “I just got here.” He moved to the sink to wash his hands. “So you’re giving her a speech lesson.” He looked over his shoulder at Laura.

  “I wanted to see if she could say my name.”

  Her cheeks flushed pink. Was she embarrassed?

  “I think she’s calling Irma Mae.” Allen ripped off a paper towel, dried his hands, and then tossed the paper towel into the trash can.

  “I do too.” She gestured toward the table, where a tray of assorted lunch meats and cheese slices, a basket of rolls, and a bowl of macaroni salad sat. Two places were set with placemats, plates, utensils, and glasses of water. “I hope you like lunch meat.”

  “Wow. Were you expecting company?” He sat down in the chair across from her.

  “I didn’t know what you like, so I wanted to make sure I had a variety.”

  Appreciation rolled over him. “This is amazing. Danki.”

  “Gern gschehne.” She gave Mollie another piece of cheese and then turned to face the table before bowing her head.

  After a silent prayer, they built their sandwiches and then ate in silence for a few minutes. In between bites, Mollie babbled and tapped the high chair tray with her fingers.

  “I’d like to do a few chores this afternoon.” Laura’s offer broke through the silence. “After cleaning the kitchen, I can do your laundry.”

  “No.” He scooped a mound of macaroni salad onto his plate. “I already told you. I don’t expect you to be my housekeeper. I just appreciate your taking care of Mollie for me.”

  “I don’t mind doing it. I need something to do while she naps this afternoon.” She placed a piece of macaroni on Mollie’s tray. The baby stuck it into her mouth, swallowed, and then held out her hand for more.

  “I guess you liked that,” Laura said. She placed a small pile o
f macaroni on the tray and then looked at Allen. “I’m not going to sit all afternoon while Mollie naps. If I don’t do the laundry, I’ll do something else for you.”

  “All right.” Then the issue of payment resurfaced in his mind. “You need to let me know how much you want me to pay you.”

  After swallowing the bite in her mouth, she said, “What do you mean?”

  “I want to pay you for your time. I would pay a nanny if you weren’t here, so it’s only fair to pay you as well.”

  Her bright-blue eyes narrowed. “I won’t accept money for caring for Mollie. She’s like mei bruderskind.”

  “I at least need to pay you for the food you brought today.” He gestured toward the bounty.

  She shook her head as she chewed and then swallowed. “I don’t want any money from you. I just want to help.”

  He was too tired to argue. “Fine. Danki.”

  “So you’ll let me do the laundry?” Her face lit up with a smile.

  He bit back a smile at her enthusiasm. “Ya, you can do the laundry.”

  “Great.” She pointed to the utility room off the kitchen. “Baskets are in there, and hampers are in the corner in your bedroom and Mollie’s room, right?”

  He nodded. “Ya.”

  She placed another spoonful of macaroni salad onto the high chair’s tray. “How are your projects going?”

  “I’ve made some good headway with the one buggy.” He explained the damage he was repairing while they finished lunch. Then he helped her carry dishes to the sink.

  “You can go.” She waved him off. “I’ll clean this up.”

  “Danki again for lunch.” He touched Mollie’s head and then walked back out to the shop.

  After Laura cleaned the kitchen, she set Mollie in her play yard with a couple of toys. Then she found a large plastic laundry basket in the utility room and went upstairs to gather the dirty laundry.

  When she reached the landing, she stopped at the master bedroom, the first door on the left. As she stood in the doorway and scanned the room, memories of the last time she was there formed.

  Savilla had invited her over for lunch, and when the baby spit up on her dress, Savilla asked Laura to run upstairs to fetch a clean dress for her and a clean onesie for Mollie. The large bedroom looked exactly the same with the king-size bed in the center of the nearest wall and two dressers on the far wall. One of the dressers had a tall hutch with a large mirror, shelves, and six drawers below that. The other dresser was also tall with six drawers.

  She set the basket on the floor next to the hamper and walked over to the dresser with the hutch. She swallowed hard when she found Savilla’s favorite things on it—her comb and brush, a small trinket box, a vanilla-scented candle, and a picture of a rose with Savilla’s favorite Scripture passage engraved on it.

  Laura picked up the picture frame and ran her fingers over it while letting the verses soak through her. They were from 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. The words touched her deep in her soul.

  Then she set the frame back on the dresser and lifted the brush, turning it over in her hand. Strands of Savilla’s gorgeous, thick golden hair were stuck in the bristles. Her eyes stung as she imagined Allen looking at Savilla’s belongings and recalling all their special memories together.

  She returned the brush to its place on the dresser and then touched the brass knob on the top drawer. She hesitated, but then, unable to tame a suspicion, she pulled the drawer open. It was full of Savilla’s underwear and stockings. She pushed it closed and opened the drawer beside it. It was full of her nightgowns and slips. The bottom two drawers contained more of her clothes.

  Laura opened the closet door and found Savilla’s dresses and aprons tucked in the back of the closet beyond Allen’s shirts and trousers. She reached into the back and ran her hand over a rose-colored dress, which always brought out Savilla’s pink cheeks and beautiful brown eyes. Grief rolled over her. Allen hadn’t disposed of any of Savilla’s clothes. He was still holding fast to her memory.

  So was she.

  She gently closed the closet door and returned to the hamper. It was stuffed, and she piled Allen’s clothes into the basket. Then she moved toward the doorway, but stopped and turned back toward the bed. It was unmade. The dark-blue sheets were a twisted knot in the center, evidence of Allen’s restless night. She paused. Should she wash his sheets? Or was touching them too invasive, too personal? Even more personal than washing his clothes?

  She shook off the thought. She’d changed her brothers’ sheets and remade their beds for years without a second thought. Why would touching Allen’s sheets be any different?

  Because he’s not your bruder. He’s not family. He’s Savilla’s husband.

  She stood up straighter.

  No, he’s Savilla’s widower, and he needs my help.

  As she began pulling the sheets off the bed, her gaze moved to the floor. She spotted something metal sitting in the cramped space between the bed and the nightstand. Bending down, she picked up a small, square box. Engraved on the top was “S.L. + A.L.”

  Laura ran her fingers over the engraving. “Savilla Lambert plus Allen Lambert.” She opened the box and found a handful of bobby pins. Closing its lid, she turned it over in her hands. She didn’t recall Savilla ever mentioning the box to her. It had to be a gift from Allen. Had it been an engagement gift? Or a wedding or anniversary gift? Laura was certain it was special.

  How had it wound up on the floor? Had it been lost during the chaos the night Savilla became ill? Allen would want to know she’d found it. She slipped it into the pocket of her apron and made a mental note to give it to him.

  After she finished stripping the sheets from the bed, she stuffed them into the basket before adding Mollie’s dirty clothes. Then she went back downstairs and found Mollie sleeping in the play yard. After making sure she was all right, Laura went into the utility room and began the wash.

  Allen yawned and glanced up at the clock. It was only three. He didn’t always take a midafternoon break, but with the blanket of exhaustion wrapping around him today, he needed one—and a bottle of water. He stood up from the buggy he’d been repairing and stretched.

  He set his tools on the bench and left through the side door of his shop. As he made his way up the path, he saw Laura hanging laundry on the back porch. The line was filling up with his sheets and both his and Mollie’s clothes.

  He climbed the steps and joined her by the line. “You’ve been busy.”

  “It needed to be done.” She gave him a half-smile before hanging a pair of his trousers. “Mollie is still fast asleep in her play yard. I just checked on her a few minutes ago. I think she was really full after eating all that macaroni salad at lunch.”

  He bent down, picked up another of his trousers, and handed them to her.

  “Danki.” She hung them on the line, and he handed her two more pairs before she turned toward him.

  “Don’t you have something better to do?”

  “I needed a break, so I thought I’d get a bottle of water.” He handed her one of his shirts.

  “Oh.” She set the shirt back into the basket and headed for the back door. “I’ll get you one.”

  “Wait.” He grabbed her arm and tugged her back. “I didn’t mean for you to get the bottle of water. I can get it.” When she faced him, he released her arm.

  “Oh. Okay.” Her forehead puckered. “I don’t mind getting it for you. You look exhausted.” She pointed to the glider. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  “You don’t need to take care of me. I can get things for myself. You just looked like you needed some help.” He gestured toward the basket. “That’s a lot of laundry. Irma Mae was going to take care of it yesterday.” Guilt twisted through him as he glanced back toward the clothesline. “You really need to let me pay you.”

  Her face twisted into a scowl as she lifted her
chin and slammed her hands onto her small hips. “If you offer to pay me once more, I won’t come back.”

  He bit back a grin as a comment Savilla once made echoed through his mind. “All those Riehl siblings are stubborn,” she’d said. Yes, indeed that was true.

  Her expression softened. “Have you heard from Milton?”

  “Ya.” He leaned back against the porch railing. “He called earlier and said Irma Mae’s first surgery went well. Her leg is in a cast now. She’s going to have surgery on her hip tomorrow.”

  Laura cringed. “I’m so sorry she has to have more surgery, but I’m glad the first one was successful.”

  “Milton said her spirits are gut, and she’s already talking about what she has to do at the haus when she gets home.”

  She chuckled. “That sounds like Irma Mae.”

  They studied each other for a moment, and he noticed her powder-blue dress somehow made her eyes even bluer. Was it the bright afternoon sun making them even more striking?

  She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she closed it and looked away.

  Curiosity pushed him away from the railing, and he stood up straight. “What did you want to say?”

  “Nothing, nothing.” She waved off the question, and the ties of her prayer covering bounced off her slight shoulders as she retrieved two clothespins from the pouch hanging next to the line.

  He waited a moment and then pulled open the screen door. A thought occurred to him. Did Rudy approve of Laura’s working for him? Rudy had become his first friend in Bird-in-Hand, and Allen considered him a good friend. They’d spent so much time together on double dates, as Savilla called them.

  But everything changed after Savilla passed away. He only interacted with Rudy at church, and they rarely talked beyond discussing the weather. It was as if Rudy didn’t know what to say to him after he lost Savilla. But Rudy wasn’t the only one who didn’t seem to know what to say to him now that Savilla was gone. No one really talked to him at church, except to ask how his business was doing or to comment about how big Mollie had grown since the last time they’d seen her.