Room on the Porch Swing

by Amy Clipston

  “Rudy!” Mark exclaimed as he and Jamie came from the barn. “I didn’t realize you were here. How are you?”

  “Fine.” Rudy nodded at Mark.

  Laura shifted on the glider and folded her hands in her lap as new doubt swirled through her mind. She hoped Mark couldn’t read her expression. If Mark discerned how disappointed she was with Rudy, he’d harass her until she shared her feelings. She was too exhausted for an emotional discussion tonight.

  “How are you?” Rudy asked her twin.

  “Gut, gut.” Mark sat down on the rocking chair next to the glider, beside Laura.

  In her peripheral vision, Laura could see her twin was watching her face, but she kept her focus on Jamie.

  “How’s your dat’s store doing?” Jamie leaned against the railing across from the glider.

  “Fine. Staying busy, as always.” Rudy gestured toward the pasture as he looked at Jamie. “Your haus looks like it’s done.”

  “Ya, it’s close.” Jamie’s expression revealed how pleased he was. “I’m hoping to move in soon.”

  “Let me know when you’re ready. I can ask mei dat if I can leave work early that day.” Rudy once again rested his arm across the back of the glider. When his hand touched her shoulder, she jumped, but he didn’t seem to notice how awkward she felt beside him. She’d never shied away from his chaste expressions of intimacy, but tonight she was too disappointed in his lack of attention to accept any gesture of love.

  “Danki. That’s thoughtful of you. I’ll let you know.” Jamie stood up straight. “I’m going to head inside. It was great seeing you. Gut nacht.”

  “Gut nacht,” Rudy echoed as Jamie disappeared into the house.

  Mark angled his body toward Laura. “So how’s Allen?”

  “He’s fine.” She shrugged. “Tired. Mollie didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “Ach, that’s tough.” Mark shook his head. “She probably misses Irma Mae.”

  “Ya, that’s what I think too.”

  “How’s Mollie otherwise?” Mark moved the rocking chair back and forth.

  “She’s fantastic.” A smile overtook Laura’s lips. “She’s gotten so big, even since I saw her last week. I noticed her onesies are a bit snug. I had a tough time snapping one over her diaper when I changed her. I might pick up a couple for her as a birthday gift. I thought about making her a few dresses too.”

  “Her birthday is in a couple of weeks, isn’t it?” Mark asked.

  “Ya, it is.” Laura grinned, impressed her brother remembered the date Mollie was born.

  “They grow so fast.”

  She smiled to herself. Mark said that as though he were a parent, not a happy bachelor. But he did seem to be reflective as he stared toward the pasture. What was that about?

  The sun had begun to set, staining the sky with vivid streaks of pink, orange, purple, and yellow.

  An awkwardness descended over the porch like an itchy blanket. Laura looked toward Jamie’s house as questions filled her mind. Did she and Rudy have a bright future like Jamie and Kayla? She realized she had no real idea. How could she have been assuming they would for so long?

  “Well, it’s getting late.” Rudy stood. “You and I are both tired, Laura, so I think I should get home.”

  She looked up at him. “Danki for coming to see me. Have a safe trip home.”

  “Gut nacht.” Mark gave him a little wave.

  “Gut nacht.” Rudy lingered for a moment as his eyes fixed on Laura, and then he descended the porch steps and strode to his waiting horse and buggy.

  “Why didn’t you walk him to his buggy?” Mark asked.

  “I’m too tired.” Laura slumped back against the glider and cupped her mouth as a yawn overtook her. “Mollie kept me hopping all day long.”

  “Or did you have an argument?”

  She blew out a deep sigh. This conversation was unavoidable.

  “From the sounds of that sigh, you did have an argument.”

  “We didn’t have an argument.” She covered her mouth to shield another yawn. “I’m just really tired.”

  “Are you sure that’s it?” He touched his chest. “It feels like more than that.”

  “We didn’t argue, but I’m just a little bit annoyed with him. We haven’t spoken since he came for supper last week.” She pointed to the glider seat. “He didn’t realize he hadn’t seen me since then until he was sitting here. So I said, ‘Oh, so you have noticed.’ And his response was, ‘Noticed what?’”

  Mark grinned. “You’re kidding, right?”

  She shook her head. “I wish I were. Sometimes I feel like Rudy doesn’t even notice me.” She pointed to her chest. “That’s gegisch, right? After all, we’ve been together for four years now.”

  She waited for Mark to share his opinion of her relationship with Rudy, but to her surprise, he was silent. He turned to look out over the pasture.

  “Mark?” She nudged his arm. “Do you have laryngitis? Or did you fall asleep?”

  “I’m not sure what to say.”

  A bark of laughter exploded from her throat. “You don’t know what to say? Are you krank?”

  He met her gaze with a wry grin. “Sometimes I know when to shut up.”

  She sat up straighter. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t want her twin to be quiet. She wanted to read his mind, like some people believed twins could.

  His smile faded. “Why are you looking at me like I hold all the answers? I’m the last person who should give relationship advice.” He held up his hand. “Don’t tell Jamie I said that.”

  “What are you hesitating to tell me?”

  He looked down at one arm of the rocker. “Rudy is a gut man, but he’s sometimes a little selfish and self-centered.” He looked up again. “I do think he cares about you. He’s just a little stuck on himself sometimes. Yet I don’t think he means to be thoughtless.”

  She nodded slowly. “Ya, that makes sense.”

  “Don’t give up on him. Just give him a little time, and he’ll eventually realize he tends to take you for granted.”

  Relief fluttered through Laura. “Danki.” She squeezed his arm. “Sometimes you know exactly what I need to hear.”

  Mark’s grin was back. “If only Jamie appreciated my wisdom as much as you do.”

  SEVEN

  Allen slowly moved the rocking chair back and forth as Mollie’s soft snores sounded in his ear. This had become his nightly ritual for the past two weeks. He patted her back and fought to stay awake in the dark room. The only light came from the sliver of moonlight spilling in between the edge of the green shade and the window casing.

  He felt as if he’d been rocking Mollie for hours. He’d fallen asleep around one o’clock, but then she woke him up screaming, just as she had for the past fourteen consecutive nights. After changing her diaper, he managed to calm her down by rocking her, but she’d started screaming as soon as he tried to place her back in her crib. He tried to put her there two more times before giving up and succumbing to her need for his affection.

  Now she slept with her head tucked under his chin, and her warm little body stretched across his chest. His eyes fluttered shut as an image of Savilla filled his lonely mind.

  He recalled the day she told him she was pregnant with Mollie. He’d come into the house at lunchtime and found Savilla grinning as she stood by the kitchen table. Her cheeks were rosy, and her beautiful honey-brown eyes sparkled in the light of the afternoon sun streaming in through the windows.

  “You look like you’re going to burst,” he quipped as he walked over to her.

  “I think I might.” Her smile grew even wider as she looked up at him. “I have some news.”

  He touched her arm. “What is it?”

  “We’re going to be parents.”

  He gasped. “What? You’re . . . ?”

  She nodded. “Uh-huh.”

  “Yes!” He picked her up and spun her around as she squealed. “I’m so froh.”

 
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her.

  “Ich liebe dich,” she whispered as she stared into his eyes.

  “I love you too. Danki for making me the happiest man on the planet.”

  “Gern gschehne.” She cupped her hand to his cheek. “I can’t wait to be a mamm. Let’s have a big family. Maybe six or seven kinner. You and I have both longed for siblings. Our kinner will grow up together and always have each other.” She pointed toward the back door. “The buwe can work in the shop and barn with you while the maed help me in the kitchen and garden. Our haus will always be busy and loud and full of laughter and love. What do you think?”

  “If that makes you froh, then ya.” He pushed an errant lock of her golden hair behind her ear. “I want whatever you want.”

  She beamed as she placed his hand on her flat abdomen. “I can’t wait to meet our boppli.”

  “Neither can I.”

  Mollie’s sudden whimper brought him back to the present.

  “Ach, mei liewe,” he whispered against her warm head. “Daddy is here.”

  Mollie shifted, nuzzling her nose against his neck, and Allen bit back a sad sigh. He’d never imagined he’d raise Mollie alone. Mollie needed her mother, but God had taken her away. How could he give Mollie everything she needed? How could he make it by himself?

  “Gude mariye,” Laura sang as she stepped into Allen’s kitchen later that morning. “Wie geht’s?”

  “I’m fine.” Allen sat at the kitchen table with his chin in his hand, and Mollie squealed in her high chair beside him. She was holding a handful of Cheerios. He had a mug in front of him, with no steam coming out of it.

  “How are you?” Allen yawned and covered his mouth with his hand. Dark circles outlined his eyes.

  She crossed the kitchen to stand in front of him. “You look terrible.”

  “Danki.” He frowned, his blue eyes dull.

  “Did you get any sleep?”

  He rubbed his beard as if considering the question. “I think I finally got her to sleep in her crib around five thirty. She was awake again at seven, and I gave up.”

  “Ach, I’m so sorry. You’ve been struggling with this for a couple of weeks now. I was hoping she’d get out of the habit of waking up in the middle of the night.” She shook her head with concern. “Have you eaten?”

  He shook his head as another yawn barred any verbal response.

  “I’ll make you breakfast. And some fresh kaffi.” She filled the percolator and then pulled supplies out of the refrigerator, including eggs and bacon.

  “Just a couple of eggs would be wunderbaar.” He stood and pulled the large frying pan from the cabinet.

  “You need your strength. I’ll make you bacon too.” She pointed to a cabinet. “Would you get me another pan?”

  He set a second pan on the stove and then pointed to the bacon. “I can put the bacon on.”

  “No, you can sit and relax.” She pointed to his chair. “Has Mollie had something to eat beside Cheerios?”

  “She had some yogurt.” He yawned again as he sank into the chair beside his daughter.

  “I’ll make her an egg too.” She unwrapped the bacon and tossed several pieces into a large skillet. Then she broke and scrambled three eggs.

  When the eggs and bacon were done, she slipped two of the eggs and most of the bacon onto a large plate and turned toward the table. Allen was slumped over, his head resting on his folded arms on the table’s surface. She walked over and heard faint, muffled snoring. She held the plate in the air, debating if she should wake him or let him sleep.

  Mollie squealed, and Allen jumped, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He looked up at her, and a sheepish expression overtook his face. “Did you say something?”

  Laura frowned. “You were asleep on the table.”

  “I’m sorry.” He pointed to the plate. “Is that for me?”

  “Ya.” She set it in front of him. “You need to get some sleep.”

  “I’m fine.” He swallowed back a yawn. “I just need something to eat.”

  “No.” She handed him a set of utensils and a napkin. “You need a nap. Eat your breakfast and then go take one.” She headed back to the counter and poured them both coffee.

  “No, I have two buggies to finish, and I’m already late getting out to the shop.” He shook his head as he shoveled a fork full of egg into his mouth.

  “The buggies can wait,” she said when she put his mug on the table. Before she said more, she cut up the third egg, making sure it wasn’t too hot, and then set it on the high-chair tray. Mollie pushed it around with one finger before picking up a morsel and shoving it into her mouth. “You haven’t had a decent night of sleep since before Irma Mae’s accident, right?”

  He nodded as he yawned again.

  “Wasn’t Mollie sleeping through the night before Irma Mae was hurt?”

  “Ya, she was. She only started waking up after Irma Mae left.”

  “That’s what I thought. You’re too tired to think clearly, and that’s when accidents happen. You shouldn’t handle tools right now. I’ll put a sign on the door of your shop that says you’re closed today. You can respond to your voice mail messages this evening or tomorrow.”

  He kept his eyes focused on his plate as he ate. “Fine,” he finally said. “You’re right.”

  She broke up a piece of bacon and gave it to Mollie. Then she leaned down. “Can you say Laura?” she whispered as Mollie grinned at her. “Come on, now. Laura.” She pointed to her chest. “Laura.”

  Mollie laughed and then pointed to Allen. “Dat! Dat!” She kicked her feet against the high chair’s legs.

  “That’s right.” Laura turned toward Allen. “She knows your name.”

  “Ya, she does. If only she was that agreeable at two in the morning.”

  She took in the exhaustion etched on his face. “I’ll stay tonight.”

  “What?” His eyes locked on hers.

  “I said I’ll stay tonight. Overnight. You can’t function like this.” She pointed at him. “You’re a mess right now. You can’t run your shop on an hour of sleep. I’ll stay in her room and rock her if she’s awake at night.”

  “And when will you sleep?” His expression challenged her.

  “When most women taking care of boppli full-time do. I’ll nap when she naps during the day. I can manage.”

  His shoulders slouched. “Fine.”

  “It’s settled, then.” She put away the eggs and bacon and then washed the skillets. When Allen had cleaned his plate, she picked it up and carried it to the sink.

  “Danki for breakfast,” he said as he stood.

  “Gern gschehne.” She pointed toward the stairs. “Now, go get some sleep.”

  He tilted his head as he studied her. “Are you always this bossy?”

  “Only with my family and the people I care about.” Fire scorched her cheeks when she realized what she’d said.

  “Mollie and I are glad you’re here.” He looked at his daughter. “Right, girl?”

  Mollie held up a piece of egg and laughed.

  He kissed Mollie’s head and then looked back at Laura. “Danki, Laura.”

  “Gern gschehne.” She watched him leave the kitchen and then returned to the dishes.

  She wished it hadn’t taken her so long to realize Allen needed help with Mollie at night—at least for a while. But she was determined to help him now.

  Allen was certain his legs each weighed five hundred pounds as he climbed the steep steps. He closed his bedroom door, stripped down to his boxers, pulled on a white undershirt, and climbed into bed.

  A warm breeze filtered through his two open windows as birds sang in nearby trees. When he snuggled against his pillow and closed his eyes, a vision of Laura scolding him in the kitchen came to mind. He smiled, remembering her determined expression when she insisted he take a nap.

  Savilla would be happy to know Laura was taking good care of Mollie and him. Her friendship was a blessing.
/>   His body relaxed, and soon he felt himself drifting off as the birds serenaded him.

  When she was done in the kitchen, Laura ran outside and hung a sign on the door of Allen’s shop that read, “The shop is closed today. Please come back tomorrow. Thank you.”

  Then she went back inside and put Mollie in her play yard for her morning nap. The baby fell right to sleep, and Laura swept the kitchen floor before dusting the family room. She’d sweep that room later, when she wouldn’t risk waking Mollie. Then she swept the front and back porches.

  She was looking through the freezer for something to make for supper when a knock sounded on the back door. She hurried to open it, expecting to find a customer inquiring about the shop. She blinked as her eyes met Rudy’s.

  “Hi.” He gave her a little wave.

  “Hi.” She opened the screen door. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was wondering if we could talk.”

  “Ya, of course.” She gestured toward the inside of the house. “Mollie is sleeping in the schtupp and Allen is sleeping upstairs. I think it would be better if we talked on the porch.”

  “Oh.” He pointed toward the shop. “Is he krank?”

  “He’s exhausted. He was up all night with Mollie. He hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep for two weeks. I told him to take a nap.”

  “Oh.” He pulled the door open wide, and she stepped out onto the porch, where they sat down on the glider together.

  “Why aren’t you at work?” she asked.

  “Mei dat asked me to run an errand, so I thought I’d stop by on my way back to town. I haven’t seen you since you invited me over for supper last week.”

  “Oh.” She fingered the hem of her black apron. “What did you want to discuss?”

  He turned toward her, his expression serious. “Nothing. I just missed you. It seems like lately we see each other only once a week unless we have church, and then only twice a week. I figured I’d stop by and surprise you.”