Never Look Back (Counting Stars Book 1)

by Trish Williford

  I turned around and ran right into Spencer's hard chest. He quickly lifted me over his shoulder and marched towards the bedroom. "Spencer! What are you doing?! Put me down!"

  He smacked my butt and threw me on the bed. "I'm done packing." He growled before covering my body with his.

  Ok...dinner can wait.

  Spencer looked so carefree and relaxed as he drove down the highway. A small smirk played on his lips and his eyes were hidden behind his aviator sunglasses. The windows of our rental car were down, letting in the warm Texas air. He occasionally caught me looking at him, but just smiled and squeezed the hand he placed on my thigh earlier in the ride. I cover his hand with mine and leaned my head back in the seat, listening to the country music soothing my ears.

  "What are you smiling about?" he asked with a smile of his own.

  "I didn't expect you to be a country fan. You listen to classic rock in the trailer all the time, I'm just a little surprised."

  His smile grew wider, turning up the volume of the radio. With an extremely exaggerated country accent, he sang every word to the song. I laughed hysterically, especially at the hee haws and ya'lls he threw in. His goofiness is one of the most attractive things about him.

  I'm getting more anxious the closer we get to Spencer's home town than I was on the plane. I have no idea how I'm going to impress these people, I have no idea how I impressed Spencer in the first place. Thankfully we're staying in a hotel so we...er I really...can have space when needed. I'm thankful that Spencer pushes me to do things beyond my comfort level, but never takes it further than I can handle.

  We reached the city limits of Tyler shortly before noon. My grip on Spencer's hand tightened with each rotation of the wheels. "What's making you so nervous?" Spencer asked.

  "I'm not good with meeting new people, you know that. I have to convince your parents and two sisters that I'm worthy of you." I felt a lump forming in my throat at just the thought. I hated being the new person in a setting. Everyone wants to make you feel welcome and part of the group.

  I just want to be invisible.

  "Oh, well don't forget about my extended family on Christmas Eve." He smirked.

  My heart dropped. "You're not helping me here Spencer!"

  He laughed loudly. "Kel, I'll be with you the entire time. Do you trust me?"

  I crossed my arms and pouted. "Yes." I said quietly.

  "I love your little pouts, you know that right?"

  I looked over at him and rolled my eyes.

  "And your eye rolls. Keep it coming sassy."

  I tried to stifle the giggle, but failed miserably.

  Spencer's dad was outside pulling weeds out of the flower garden when we pulled into the driveway. He noticed the car and waved as we came to a stop. The small, modest brick rancher sat on an acre of land with beautiful landscaping.

  "You ready?" he asked, squeezing my hand.

  "I really don't have a choice." I sighed. He kissed my cheek and opened his car door. I took a deep breath, then opened mine.

  You can do this Kelsey, you can do this.

  "Spencer, you brought a beautiful young woman with you...how much did you have to pay her?" Spencer looked a lot like his father. They have a lot of the same facial expressions and the same smile.

  Spencer nudged his dad's arm and hugged him. "An arm and a leg, but I think she's worth it. Dad, this is my girlfriend, Kelsey Franklin. Kel, this is my father, George Mills."

  George set his sights on me, and before I could protest his arms were around me, lifting me off the ground. "Oh Kelsey it's so nice to finally meet you. This boy was so love sick when he was here for Thanksgiving, he hoped on the first plane after dinner."

  I saw Spence roll his eyes over his dad's shoulders, and I laughed. When he finally put me back on the ground, I smiled up at him. "Nice to meet you Mr. Mills. Your yard is beautiful."

  He frowned at me, shaking his head. "No. Mr. Mills was my father. You call me George...or Dad. Whatever. You kids come on inside, your mom is doing her Christmas baking today. If you're quick, she might not catch you stealing a cookie." He winked. I already liked him.

  Spencer’s mother was in the kitchen taking a batch of cookies out of the oven. With flour dusted on her face and her apron, she still was put together just like a southern woman. Her dark hair was curled and her light makeup had been applied perfectly.

  “Oh honey, welcome home! I see you brought Kelsey!” she sat her oven mitts on the counter and hurried around the island to get to her son.

  Spencer embraced his mother and kissed her on the cheek. “Yes, I brought Kelsey. Kelsey, this is my mother. Mom this is my girlfriend Kelsey.”

  I extended my hand and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Mills.”

  She looked at my hand, then swatted it away. “Oh honey, I don’t shake hands, you come here.” She hugged me tightly and said “You call me Janie, or Jane, or Mom. Whatever you choose, but not Mrs. Mills.”

  I smiled at her politely. “Thank you for having me for the holiday, your home is beautiful.”

  “Oh, any time sweetheart. So Spencer tells us you’re a southern belle, do you care to join me in baking? I could use some help if you don’t mind.”

  It had been so long since I had baked, and I really did miss it. “Of course, I’d love to. What else were you thinking of baking?”

  Spencer put his arm around me. “You don’t have to feel obligated to help.”

  “It’s ok, I really love to bake.” I told him.

  “Wonderful! Ok, I was thinking about doing a couple pies and some fudge. The last batch of cookies is in the oven now, and I should have enough for tomorrow night’s party if George stays out of the tins.” She glared at her husband, who now had his hands in the air.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Come on Spence, let’s go watch TV so we aren’t accused of stealing cookies.” George walked out of the kitchen and I laughed.

  “You sure you’re ok?” Spencer whispered.

  I nodded. “I’m good, go spend time with your dad.”

  He kissed my forehead and followed his dad into the living room. I turned towards Janie and she was looking at me with her hand over her heart. “He is so attentive with you. I haven’t seen him this happy in such a long time. I’m glad you came into his life.”

  I blushed at her words. “Thank you. He’s been so good for me too. You and your husband did a wonderful job raising him. He’s such a good man.”

  Janie grabbed my hands in hers and smiled with tears in her eyes. “He is very special to us, and it seems like he is to you too. Please, whatever you’re doing to keep my boy happy, keep doing it. He is very smitten with you.”

  “I’m pretty smitten with him too.” I said shyly.

  She smiled brightly. “Alright, enough of the gushy talk. So what type of pies do you make?”

  Now we’re talking.

  After making several apple, pumpkin, cherry, chocolate pies, and enough chocolate and peanut butter fudge to feed a small army, Spencer and I headed to our hotel. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and we had a long day ahead of us. I was meeting his sisters tomorrow, and for some reason I was more nervous about meeting them than his parents.

  Spencer was showering, so I decided to check my email. There was a new email from Detective Taylor, and I debated for a moment on opening it. I wanted an update on my family, but I had been doing so well. Do I want to read it and take a step backwards? I finally decided to read it, but I was going to respond and tell him that I no longer need updates.

  Kelsey-

  I just wanted to give you an update on your family. Your mother and father seem to be doing well, they received a black lab as an early Christmas gift from your brother. Preston is busy planning his wedding with Emma, the big day is scheduled for March.

  The only thing that is different since I gave you the last update is your father has decided to retire. Your parents have put the farm up for sale, and they are buying a house on the coast. There
are a few interested buyers, and they’re expected to be moving from Monroe after Preston’s wedding.

  Ryleigh informed me of the pictures in magazine. I’ve done damage control, so I think things will be fine. I doubt that anyone will think that it’s you, especially since none of the pictures show a good view of your face. I’ll be in contact if I hear otherwise.

  I assume you’re doing well since I haven’t heard from you. If you need anything you can always let me know.

  Merry Christmas

  Marcus Taylor

  Mama and Daddy are selling the farm. That is the house I grew up in, the fields that Pres and I played in, the place that holds all my childhood memories. I hope everything is ok with Mama and Daddy and they’re not selling it because of money or health issues. I read the email several times before deciding not to respond. I need to have faith that they are ok, and even if they aren’t, there’s nothing I can do to change it.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  I looked up from the computer to a recently showered and still wet Spencer, with only a white cotton towel around his waist.

  He really needs to stop parading around in just a towel. I can’t think straight. He looks mouthwatering.

  I plastered my best fake smile on my face and hoped he wouldn’t question it. “Nothing.”

  He sighed, his brows furrowed. “I know you better. What did you just read? You were fine before I showered.”

  I ran a hand threw my hair. “I got an update on my family. Mama and Daddy are selling the farm. I’m just worried that there is something wrong, he loves that farm.”

  He sat beside me and pulled me close to him. “It’s alright, I’m sure everything is fine. Maybe they are ready to move on and start a new chapter of their lives. If anything is wrong, I’m sure your brother can handle it.”

  I nodded against his neck, but I wasn’t fully sure if I agreed. Daddy is a creature of habit. He loves getting up every single morning to feed the animals, clean the stalls, collect eggs, milk the cows and anything that he can find to keep himself busy with. Mama used to say he wasn’t happy unless he was moving…I wonder what’s changed?

  “Don’t worry beautiful girl, let’s just get some rest, ok?”

  I shut the computer down and put it on the desk beside the bed. I curled up beside him in the bed and rested my head on his chest. He turned the light off and kissed my hair. “Thank you for today, my mom really enjoyed herself with you. My sisters aren’t around much anymore, so she loved that you were willing to bake with her.”

  “I think I may have enjoyed it more than her. It was nice to just get into the kitchen and bake the day away. I haven’t done that since I left Louisiana and it felt really good. Besides, it was nice to spend time with your mom, I really like her. It made me hopeful for a good relationship with her. I miss my mom a lot Spence, but being with yours today made it a little easier.”

  I couldn’t see him in the dark, but I could feel him looking at me. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall anymore in love with you, but today you proved me wrong. Laughing in the kitchen with my mom…sneaking cookies to my dad. The way you were with them just…they mean a lot to me. I know how hard it is for you to meet new people, but you just jumped right in and rolled with it. It hasn’t been long since we started dating, but I’m telling you this right now; you’re mine and only mine. I’m going to marry you one day Kelsey Franklin and we’re going to have a house full of children. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”

  I gasped at his words. He wants to marry me…this unbelievably handsome man wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows my past and still wants me. For the first time since I became Kelsey, I finally know that my future will be amazing because I have this man by my side.

  I brought his face to mine and hovered above his lips. “I feel the same way, and I’m looking forward to what the future holds for us.” I whispered.

  He brought my bottom lip between his teeth and a low moan escaped his throat. “Let’s practice the baby making...”

  His tongue was in my mouth before I could protest.

  Like I would anyways…

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  “How many people come to your parents’ Christmas Eve party?”

  “Anywhere between thirty and fifty people. Some just stop by to say hello and some stay for most of the evening. Mom and Dad threw the first Christmas Eve party when I was a toddler, and it stuck and became a tradition year after year. It’s funny actually, other members of the family have bigger homes that could accommodate the amount of people more comfortably, but no one ever wants to go anywhere other than Mom and Dad’s.”

  The way he talked about his family’s tradition made me smile. Spencer is more of a family man than I originally believed, which makes me happy. Last night I was worried he may had said the comment about having babies with me out of the high of the emotions…but now I’m thinking he really may have meant it.

  I straightened my dress in the mirror, catching Spencer looking at me in the reflection. “What are you smiling at?” He smirked.

  “I didn’t realize you were such a family man.”

  He slid his arms around my waist, talking to my reflection in the mirror. “Family is so important to me. I was being honest last night. I have always hoped to have a family of my own. A beautiful wife, a few kids, a dog. It just had never felt right until now.”

  I rested my head against his cheek. “Me too. Didn’t you want kids with your ex?”

  He shrugged. “She didn’t want kids. I thought that I could forget about having a family since that was what she wanted, but I think I would have never been content or feel complete without that in my life. I’m glad I didn’t have kids with her now, it all turned out for the best. What about you?”

  “Do you really want to know?” I asked quietly.

  He nodded.

  I took a deep breath. “About four years ago I found out I was pregnant. It was unexpected, but I was very excited. I kept it from him for three months, then I got the courage to tell him. He didn’t take the news as well as I did.”

  Spencer kissed the top of my head. “Did he make you get an abortion? Give it up?”

  I shook my head. “He took care of it. He knew I wouldn’t get an abortion or be willing to give my child away. He…beat me until I had a miscarriage.” I said quietly.

  Spencer’s eyes were wide with terror. He spun me around quickly and held me to his chest. “Baby I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

  Tears flowed down my cheeks. “It was probably for the best. That poor child would have had such a rough life. A baby deserves to grow up in a house full of love. Deserves to feel safe, to be taken care of. That wouldn’t have happened in our house.”

  Spencer rested his forehead against mine. “I promise you, we will have a house full of love. Our kids will always feel safe and secure, and I’ll make damn sure that they will always be taken care of, no matter what. They’ll be happy kids, and we’ll be happy knowing we’re giving them the best life we can. We’re going to have a life together that we have always dreamed of.”

  How can he change my mood so quickly? “You always know the right things to say.” I smiled.

  He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I’m only telling you the truth. It’s going to be good, baby.”

  “It already is.”

  We pulled onto the street that the Mills live on shortly before dark. Cars lined each side of the street, and their front yard looked like a parking lot. Spencer found a parking spot and shut off the engine. He held my hand in his and looked over at me, resting his head against the headrest.

  “If you want to leave at any time just let me know. My mom and dad love you already, I know everyone else will too. And if they don’t…who cares? I have enough love for you for all of them. But they will love you and will try to take all of your attention tonight, but I’m not leaving your gorgeous side.”

  I rolled my eyes
. “I doubt that will happen, but I will be happy having you with me all night. I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of your family. I think I’m getting better…you’re making me better.”

  He kissed my cheek and smiled. “I’ll only take partial credit. You ready?”

  The inside of the Mills’ home was cramped with dozens of people standing and sitting on any available space. Spencer squeezed my hand as he shuffled through the crowd.

  “Spencer! Kelsey!” I heard Janie yell from somewhere, although I couldn’t quite see her yet. Her arms wrapped around Spencer’s stomach, then enveloped me. “Oh Kelsey, you have to come meet Julia and Katie!”

  I have heard Spence talk about his sisters before, and I was a little nervous to meet them. Janie found the sisters and brought them over to us. They both looked more like Janie than George, but I could see the resemblance between them and Spencer. Spencer hugged them both before turning to me.

  “Katie, Julia, I want you to meet my girlfriend Kelsey. Kel, this is Katie and Julia, my younger sisters.”

  Julia was taller than Katie. She had Spencer’s green eyes and long dark hair. Katie had warm brown eyes and shoulder length brown hair with blond highlights. They both had beautiful smiles, and both warmly greeted me with hugs.

  “I’ve heard so much about you Kelsey. I’m glad you came with him for Christmas. He was a lovesick fool at Thanksgiving.” Katie teased.

  Julia quickly joined in on making fun of her older brother. “He really was. Everything was all ‘Kelsey is so beautiful’ and ‘I miss Kelsey’. I’m certain I couldn’t take it for another holiday.”

  Spencer glared at both of his sisters. I nudged his arm. “Calm down, I think it’s pretty funny. Besides, next time I’ll have to send you off in a better mood.”

  Both of the girls howled, making Spencer laugh. “Yes, do whatever needed to send him in a good mood.” Katie winked.

  “She’ll just have to come to the holidays. It’s required now.” George interrupted.