Natasha's Awakening

by J. a Melville

  “Fuck you Maggie. Natasha, get out of the damned car now.” He yelled and Maggie’s hand shot out, slapping Eric hard across the face.

  “Don’t you dare speak to me like that Eric and don’t you even think about getting Natasha out of this car. I’m about to take her to the airport so she can catch her flight home and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t try and follow us.” Maggie’s rage was visible. She shook with her anger, the look she gave Eric would have made a lesser man crumble but although he backed off a little, he still stared Maggie down.

  “Natasha, baby, don’t go.” He implored and Natasha felt fresh tears well in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you. Come inside so we can talk about it.” Eric lowered his tone and Natasha could see him trying to rein in his frustration but although she felt herself weaken slightly, she couldn’t give in to him.

  “I can’t Eric. My flight is booked, I have to go. I don’t want to miss my plane.” Natasha told him. Eric started pacing, raking his hands through his hair.

  “Dammit Natasha, this is stupid. One fight and you’re running out the door?”

  “It’s more than that Eric and you know it. Besides we’ve had a good time but it’s over. It’s time to get back to the real world.” Natasha said, her voice devoid of emotion. He came up to her window, lowering his voice so only she could hear him.

  “Baby, you can’t go. You haven’t done the test. You can’t go until we know.” He told her and Natasha forced herself to meet his eyes.

  “I’ve done the test, it was negative. So you can relax. You’re off the hook. There is no baby.” She lied, fighting to keep her expression blank. She was so scared that he’d be able to see the truth written on her face, that he would know she was lying.

  When Natasha saw Eric’s shoulders sag with his relief, she knew she’d done the right thing keeping her pregnancy from him. She knew of course that she was going to have to leave her job and move away before she looked like she was expecting. Eric would be furious if he knew she was lying but she couldn’t risk him forcing her to have an abortion or to deal with him giving her accusing looks for the rest of her life because she couldn’t give up his baby.

  “I have to go Eric, I’m sorry but it’s over. I had fun.” She told him, trying to act like it wasn’t killing her to leave him and he snorted.

  “You had fun? Well that’s just fucking great Natasha. I’m so pleased that you had fun.” His voice was laced with sarcasm. “Well go then, fuck off, I don’t give a fuck, ok?” He said backing away from her window. Natasha just wanted to go her eyes were burning with the effort it was taking to not break down in front of him.

  Maggie walked over to Eric and Natasha watched as she put a hand up to his cheek. “Don’t you be a fool lad and let your past screw up your future. Just give the lass some time. Let her go and you take this time to think about what you want. Not everything is as it seems.” She told him.

  “What the fuck does that mean Maggie? You’re talking in damned riddles.” Eric snapped. “Take her, you’d better get going.” And with one final glance at Natasha, he turned and walked into the house. Maggie sighed as she watched Eric leave before climbing back into the 4WD and they headed off down the drive. They were leaving the place that had brought her so much happiness, the place that had broken her heart, but most importantly Natasha was driving away from the man she loved more than life itself. She turned to look behind her and she didn’t turn back until the house was gone from her view.

  ……………………………………………………

  When they arrived at the airport Maggie found parking and pulled Natasha’s bag from the back of the car. There was still an hour to go before Natasha’s flight left but she had to check her bags in around an hour before the flight left anyway. Before she could go into the airport she needed time to get herself together. She had cried almost the entire drive to the airport. Maggie had tried to convince her not to give up on Eric. “Give him time lass. I’ve known Eric a long time. He’s just scared. He’s scared to love someone because he doesn’t want his heart broken, but more importantly he doesn’t think he’s loveable and I don’t believe he isn’t capable of being a good Father, he just needs to stop letting his past influence his life.”

  Natasha wasn’t convinced that Maggie was right though. The image of his obvious relief when she told him she wasn’t pregnant flashed through her mind. “I’m sorry Maggie, I’m so sorry that I’ve dragged you into this.” But Maggie just waved her hands.

  “Oh away with you lass. I told you if you needed help, just call and you did.” She said.

  “Eric was so mad though. I hope he doesn’t take it out on you. I’m so so sorry.” Natasha’s lips quivered as a fresh round of tears threatened again.

  “Lass, you have to get yourself under control. All this stress isn’t good for your baby and you’re so newly pregnant. You don’t want to put your baby at risk do you?” Maggie asked and Natasha shook her head.

  She wiped her eyes, touching up her make up in the rear view mirror and when she was about as presentable as she could make herself under the circumstances, she followed Maggie into the terminal. Her bags were checked in and then it was just a matter of waiting until her flight was called.

  Maggie waited with Natasha, seeming reluctant to leave her alone but Natasha felt bad enough as it was for bringing her into this situation. “Maggie, please you don’t have to wait with me, I’ll be fine.” She assured her. “You need to get back to Thomas and I’m worried about Eric. How he’s reacting. I just couldn’t handle it if he turned up here now. Do you think he would have followed us despite you telling him not to?”

  “I don’t know lass. I hope the lad has enough brains to realise that there are times when you just have to step back and not go at things like a bull in a china shop, so lets hope Eric has the brains for that. Trust me when I say, the man is running scared right now. I’ve never seen him like this lass. He looked devastated that you were leaving. Give him time, I’m sure he’ll come back to you.” She patted Natasha’s hand.

  Natasha wasn’t so sure. “He said he didn’t want me, he told me to go. That doesn’t sound like a man who didn’t want me to leave.” She said, fighting to control her trembling. “I told him the test was negative. He looked so relieved.” Her voice broke.

  “Oh lass, why did you tell him that?” Maggie asked.

  “I couldn’t risk him preventing me from leaving.” Natasha said.

  “He’s going to find out sooner or later lass. Pregnancy isn’t exactly something you can hide from him. He has a right to know.”

  Natasha sighed. “I know, but I can tell him when he gets back to the mainland.”

  “You know he’s going to leave himself and head home lass. He won’t stay down here now. He has no reason to.”

  Natasha listened to what Maggie was saying, but she wasn’t convinced that she was right. “I can’t worry about it now. I just want to get home.”

  “You’re going to have to face him at some stage lass. This isn’t all just going to go away.” Maggie told her and Natasha knew that, she knew the older woman was right, but for now, she just wanted to get out of Tasmania and curl up in a ball in her own bed and cry until she couldn’t cry anymore.

  The announcement that Natasha’s flight would be boarding came over the speakers and that all passengers were to head to the boarding lounge. She almost sagged with relief. She was desperate to get on the plane and out of the State since she was terrified Eric would turn up and refuse to let her go. She wasn’t strong enough to deal with him now, she knew that. More than likely he would just have to speak nicely to her and she’d weaken. She couldn’t allow that to happen and given she didn’t trust herself when she was so in love with him, the only way to safeguard her heart was to get away.

  She stood up and bent to hug Maggie, so grateful to her for all she’d done. She just hoped that Eric didn’t make life too uncomfortable for her but Natasha c
ould see that she was a tough woman and didn’t seem to take any nonsense from him, if the way she’d been with him back at Eric’s house was any indication.

  “Thank you so much Maggie, for all you’ve done. I can’t thank you enough and I’m sorry for dragging you into all this. I just hope that Eric doesn’t give you too much grief.” Natasha held the tiny woman tight.

  “Oh away with you lass. Eric doesn’t scare me, don’t you worry about what he does. If I know him the way I do, he’s going to be hell bent on getting back to the mainland to see you. I’ll be fine, really.” She squeezed Natasha’s shoulders reassuringly, but Natasha still wasn’t so sure. She’d been horrified with his behaviour at the house, the way he’d spoken to Maggie. “You just get home safely and try not to stress so much, it’s not good for the baby.”

  With one final hug, Natasha left her and headed for the security check before going downstairs to sit in the boarding lounge until it was time to actually get on the plane. She waved to Maggie one last time and watched as the tiny woman left her, obviously choosing not to wait until Natasha’s plane took off.

  Natasha pulled out her mobile phone and turned it on. It was full of missed calls from Eric and her heart leapt, her stomach rolling with nerves. She ignored his messages and immediately called her Mother.

  Her Mother didn’t answer, so Natasha left a message on her answering machine letting her know she was coming home later that day, but that she didn’t want her Mother to pick her up. Eric had arranged for her car to be left at the hotel until they’d decided to come home, so she was just going to catch a taxi from the airport to the hotel to get her car. It wasn’t the normal process to use the hotel for parking vehicles long term, but Eric was no ordinary person and given he’d booked them into their most expensive suite, the penthouse suite, they weren’t going to say no to his request to leave her car there, especially when he paid them very generously to do so.

  Finally the announcement came for everyone to go out to board the plane and Natasha joined the line of people as they all moved out onto the tarmac to the sleek plane shining in the afternoon sun . Once she was onboard, she found her seat and breathed a sigh of relief that she was on it and no longer had to worry about Eric turning up and potentially causing a scene at the airport.

  She breathed an even greater sigh of relief when they were finally charging down the runway and as the plane lifted and she heard the thump of the undercarriage going up, she looked out the window, watching the land getting smaller and smaller as they climbed. She was free, she’d safely escaped Eric and as she stared out the window watching the coastline disappear as they began the flight over Bass Strait, tears began to roll steadily down her cheeks as every minute took her further and further away from the man she loved.

  ……………………………………………………………

  It was late afternoon by the time the plane finally touched down at Mascot Airport and after making her way through the usual checks at the terminal and waiting for her bags, Natasha made her way out into the humid Sydney weather where she found a taxi and began the drive through heavy, peak hour traffic back to the hotel where it had all started for her and Eric, to go and pick up her car.

  When the taxi pulled up outside the hotel, Natasha felt pain lance through her when she remembered how happy she’d been when her and Eric had stayed here and how badly it had gone since. The valet brought her car around for her and after placing her bags in the boot, she began the drive through Sydney to her home on the Central Coast. Close on a week in Tasmania and she’d almost forgotten how awful the traffic could be in the city, but after an hour and a half of bumper to bumper traffic and numerous red lights, finally she took the turn off to the freeway leading up to the Coast and Newcastle.

  Her mobile phone rang and her Mother’s name came up on the screen. Since she had an in car receiver for her phone she was able to take the call straight away. “Hi Mum.” Natasha said and her Mother wasted no time on general chatter as she normally would. Straight away she demanded to know what was wrong and Natasha tensed, not really wanting to get into it over the phone while she was driving. She was too raw, her heart was bleeding and the last thing she needed to do was start crying while she was trying to get home safely.

  “Mum, I’m driving up the freeway now, can this wait until I get home please?”

  “Baby girl, I know something is wrong with you. I could hear it in your voice on the answering machine. Did that man you went away with hurt you?” She asked and Natasha drew a shaky breath.

  “No Mum, not the way you think. It just didn’t work out ok? I’ll be home soon so can we talk then?” She could hear the frustrated sigh down the line.

  “Ok Natasha, but I’m coming over just to make sure you’re alright. I’ll be there in a couple of hours. I’ll give you time to get home and settled before I arrive. I want to know what happened. I want to know all about this man and don’t even try to get out of it baby girl, ok?” Natasha muffled a groan. Her Mother was like a damned bloodhound. She wasn’t going to give up or leave it alone until she’d seen her daughter. There was no way out of this today, obviously.

  She’d just hung up from her Mother when her phone rang again. A quick glance at the screen showed it was Maggie and instantly Natasha’s heart leapt into her throat. With a shaking hand, she answered the call. “Hello Maggie.” She said cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

  Straight away she could hear the tension in Maggie’s voice. “Eric’s on his way back to the mainland lass. He left about an hour ago. Tom and I tried to talk to him out of going until he’d calmed down, but he wouldn’t have a bar of it. He’s furious lass. He kept going on about you deceiving him that you lied. I’ve never seen him so enraged, the look in his eyes. He and Tom ended up in a fight and Eric nearly took a swing at him lass. It was awful. I just thought you should know he’s on his company jet now and although I’m not much of a gambling woman, I’d put good money on him turning up on your doorstep tonight lass.” Maggie said. “Does he know where you live?”

  Natasha nodded, then remembering that Maggie couldn’t see her, she cleared the lump in her throat and whispered. “Ye, no, not exactly, but I work for him. He just has to get my address from the Company records.” She told her.

  “Just be careful.” Maggie said. “I’ve never seen him like that. He’s mad as hell lass, but he’s hurting. I know my lad, he’s hurting bad lass and when he hurts, he lashes out and he’s like a wounded bear right now.”

  Natasha’s heart began to beat hard in her chest and her stomach rolled over until she thought she was going to have to pull over and be sick. God, what a nightmare. How had it all gone so horribly wrong?

  “Are you still there lass?” Maggie’s voice was filled with concern and Natasha dragged her mind back to the present. “I’m still here.” She said quietly. “I’m almost home. My Mother is coming over when I get home. I’ll have her there to help me if Eric turns up on my doorstep.” She tried to reassure the older woman. “I’m so sorry Maggie. I’ve ruined everything. I’ve ruined your relationship with Eric and now you’re upset, Tom nearly got hit and things might never be the same again with you all and it’s all my fault.” She said her voice breaking as tears suddenly blinded her. She blinked furiously to clear them so she could see the road properly and listened when Maggie told her.

  “Don’t be silly lass. I knew when Tom told me that Eric was bringing a woman to his home and then when I met you, I saw instantly that you are perfect for him. The lad’s crazy about you, he just doesn’t know it yet, or he’s in denial. You have to remember he doesn’t believe he’s worthy of anyone’s love lass. He grew up without much of it in his life. Yes his Mother loved him, but not enough to put him first, not enough to stop bringing men around that made it perfectly clear they didn’t want him. This is the closest I’ve seen Eric get to anyone besides his Mother and myself lass. Please, don’t give up on him.” She begged and Natasha told Maggie she had to go. They said their
good byes, but Natasha never agreed to Maggie’s plea, that she wouldn’t give up on Eric. She couldn’t because she still thought Maggie was wrong. She just couldn’t promise something she didn’t feel she was capable of doing, plus she still thought Maggie was being a hopeless romantic and reading more into Eric’s behaviour other than a man who was used to getting his own way and who was acting like a spoiled brat now he wasn’t.

  Still it didn’t stop her heart flipping over when she thought about coming face to face with him again. She was terrified about seeing him and desperate to see him, all at the same time. She couldn’t shake the feeling of concern though when Maggie had told her that Eric had been accusing her of deceiving him. Just what had he meant by that? She had no idea and it was scaring her to death trying to work out what it could be. Suddenly she was relieved that her Mother would be coming over this evening so she’d have her there for back up should Eric show up at her door.

  It was a relief when she finally pulled up in her driveway and parked the car in her garage. She lived in a townhouse, one of six in the complex. They were only 2 years old, so very modern looking, built overlooking the water on a quiet, tree lined street at East Gosford. After a quick nervous look around and not seeing Eric or a car that might be his and certainly no limo, she let herself inside her townhouse.

  It was hot inside after having been closed up for close on two weeks so the first thing she did was go around opening windows to let the cool breeze coming off the water in to flow through her home. Natasha was feeling exhausted, bone achingly tired but she forced herself to empty her bags, putting things in the washing basket and hanging up the clothes she had never worn.

  Once that was done, after a quick glance at the clock she knew she’d have just enough time for a shower before her Mother arrived and the grueling questioning began. She put her mobile phone on to charge and couldn’t help swallowing nervously when she saw all the missed calls from Eric. She wasn’t game to listen to his voice messages, she would end up in tears again, so she ignored them for now, telling herself she’d listen to them later, after her Mother had left.