by Pepper Pace
“Can I play the song? The one that tells how I feel about you?”
She sat back anxiously. She wanted to hear the song; to see, with his vast knowledge of music, exactly which song he would select to represent his feelings for her. He wheeled them into the living room and pulled up to his studio.
Robin suddenly heard the opening music to a song that she’d never heard before; not necessarily a great feat since she didn’t have nearly the vast musical knowledge that Jason possessed. It was very pretty; a choral of voices singing repeatedly, ‘Everybody’s free.’ It sounded like children and they kept saying it over and over, ‘Everybody’s free,’ until finally they added these three words; ‘…to feel good.’
She gave him a curious look but his expression was almost solemn. She listened as a youthful voice took over. Later she learned it was Quindon Tarver’s Everybody’s Free. It was just one minute long but it said exactly what he felt she needed to know about how he felt for her.
“It’s okay, you know; to open up to me, to feel good, to be you. I’ve been waiting for you, Robin, to let me in, to not be afraid. I’m here.” She choked back tears and looked away. “I’m not going anywhere. That’s what I want to tell you. I’m going to be right here for you, no matter what.”
She didn’t know why she was suddenly sobbing. It wasn’t even a sappy love song; like Open Arms by Journey or some other such song; it didn’t even refer to love at all. And yet the song had made her feel that it was okay to let herself open up to him and to trust him.
He gently swiped away her tears. She smiled at him. It seemed he did that a lot for her. Wouldn’t he be surprised to know that she was not a cryer? She hadn’t even cried at her own father’s funeral.
“One day, are you going to tell me what has hurt you so badly?”
“I’ll…try.” Because she, herself, didn’t even know all of the things that had turned her into the Robin that needed to be invisible. “If you tell me about your parent’s.” She didn’t want to know the horrors that he suffered at the hands of his abusive Aids. But she wanted to understand his parent’s. If she was to be in his life then she would need to be armed with this knowledge…And it was also time for her to tell her mother about him.
“I’ll tell you, but not tonight. Tonight there has been too much sadness.” He reached past her and began tapping out something on the keyboard. “Now, you ready to hear a sappy love song? Because I have one of those picked out for you, too.”
She laughed. “Oh yes. I want to hear this.”
“Alright. Don’t laugh. But this is my sappy love song to you.”
Love by Musiq Soulchild began to play and she smiled instantly, recognizing this very beautiful song. When the song ended Jason was blushing furiously. “I will lose big time ‘man-points’ for that one. But then he smiled at her. “But it’s all true. This is how I feel about you.”
She knew she had a broad smile on her face. She sighed in contentment. “I loved it. Thank you Jason.” Sharing songs like this made her feel special.
“Tell me you love me,” he said.
“I love you.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why? Why do you love me? I was mean to you, and I’m crude. I curse too much, I’m sloppy. It’s not the prettiest sight watching me eat-”
“You know…now that you put it in that light; I actually don’t know.” She joked. “Okay,” she said after he finished scowling at her. “I love you because you’re strong. You take up for yourself. You don’t let people give you shit. And you say whatever you want to say and people just have to deal with it, because if they don’t you just won’t give a damn anyway. And under all of that, it’s very easy to see a guy that is caring and loving. The fact that you are talented, good looking and you have a super long tongue is also a plus.”
“My tongue?” He asked surprised.
“Your tongue is very very talented, my dear.” Her face was hot having talked dirty, not to mention that she had begun to tingle at the memory of his tongue on certain body parts.
“Oh shit…” He said suddenly.
“What’s wrong?”
“I have to tell you something else.” He cheeks were reddening. “Before we got together I had…sexual contact with a girl at a party.”
“You did? You weren’t a virgin?”
“No, I am—I was!” He gulped in embarrassment. “I…I just…you know, um, went down on a girl.”
Robin’s brow shot up and she stared at him in shock. “You put your mouth on some random woman’s coochie?”
“Um…I guess.”
“Damn, Jason. Is that what guy’s do? They just meet girls at parties and…do that?”
“I…don’t know. It was the first time that I ever did it.”
“Well…did you like it?”
“Um…I thought I did.”
“What does that mean?” She asked in a clipped voice. Damn, he could have lied and said he hated it!
“I thought it was something I liked until I had the real thing. Like...having feelings for you made doing that more meaningful than it had been with her. It’s like drinking a glass of skim milk when you can have whole milk instead.”
She frowned. “I’m the whole milk, right?”
“Yes! You’re the whole milk. The other girl was the skim milk.”
“Hmph. Some people prefer skim milk.”
“Not me. I like the thick creamy goodness that you can only get from the real thing.” He squeezed her eliciting a reluctant smile from her.
“Now, I told you. It’s your turn to tell me.”
“I’ve never done anything.”
“With anyone else, true. But you’ve done stuff with yourself, haven’t you?” It was less of a question then a request for confirmation.
“Oh! You’re a perv!” She tried to jump up but his hands tightened around her.
“You’re blushing.” He laughed. “You’re embarrassed. You’re so shy Robin. You don’t have to be shy with me. Say something dirty. I want you to be able to say anything in the world to me! Say…masturbate. I dare you.”
“Masturbate.” And then she blushed furiously.
“Good, Sweetheart. Now say…pussy.”
“No!” She gave him a surprised look. “What are you…FOUR??”
“Spell it, then. Just spell it if you can’t say it.”
“No, spelling it is just like saying it; spelling it sounds like saying it. Why do you want me to talk dirty? Do you get off on that?”
She should have known that asking him that question wouldn’t embarrass him. He just nodded. “Yes, hearing you talk dirty would get me hot. Definitely!” She tried not to blush and to listen to what he was saying; past her own embarrassment and reluctance.
“What do you want me to say to you?”
“I want you to say…lick my pussy, Jason. I want you to say; fuck me harder, Jason-”
She squirmed. “That last, you won’t ever hear.”
“Okay, probably not. But can you just say dick instead of penis? I mean, it’s a little more sexier.”
Her face was flaming. But it was a part of trusting him and being open. “Yes, I can say that. I can talk dirty if you want, but only in the bedroom, okay?” He nodded. She could tell that the topic had already begun making him horny, just by his movement beneath her bottom.
“Did you bring more clothes?” He asked hesitantly.
“Yes, in the trunk.” And her barely used bathing suit was packed in it as well.
“Go get it.”
“You’re going to let me up, now?” She asked sarcastically.
He grinned. “I guess.” He unlocked his hands and she stood and stretched.
“You haven’t walked at all today. Do you want to practice after I get my bag? We can go for a walk outside in the moonlight.”
“No.” He said. “I want to hear you talk dirty to me. And since you’ll only do it in the bedroom, that’s where I want to be.”
They got ready to turn in for the evening, Robin c
oming to Jason after her shower, water droplets still clinging to the hairs of her pussy. The first dirty words she said was when his tongue twirled and lapped and twisted between her thighs, capturing each drop of water and searching for the essence that lubricated her opening. And she cried out; ‘fuck fuck fuck…’ this said more for her own benefit then his; yet he still enjoyed hearing her expression of passion. The next was when they slipped on the condom and Jason pressed into her slick depths. He asked her how much further he should push into her. And her response had been’ ‘Go slow, but put your entire dick in me’.
He had gone slow and he had gotten his entire dick in her. She didn’t cry, either. As a matter of fact, she climaxed, clinging to him, too afraid to move her hips unless the exquisite pleasure transformed into pain. She shuddered as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. He didn’t so much as gyrate his hips as he lay on top of her, buried deep within her clenching and vibrating pussy. She wailed and panted and groaned beneath him and he squeezed his eyes closed so tightly that he thought he’d see stars for a week after--until his face felt like it would break off. But he resisted the urge to pump his hips. He just trembled along with her, his wails and moans of pleasure mixing with hers until they both lay limply in each other’s arms.
Chapter 9
The next morning was filled with combing out Jason’s tangled hair after his bath, getting him shaved, sitting through a morning seizure, getting dressed for school, breakfast of scrambled eggs and of course, finding time to kiss before dashing off to school. It was Friday. Jason’s Mom would have normally come for her weekly visit but because of the party, again she would just come Saturday instead.
And of course there was the party; the one that Jason had spent no time preparing for.
Robin asked him, while they headed to class, if he was nervous about it. He shrugged. “I have so many mixes in my head, Sweetheart, I don’t need to practice. And Link and I know how to play off each other. So no, I have no worries. We’ll jam out after school for a few hours and be good to go.” Robin just watched him in admiration. She would be anxious and wired all day if she knew that she had a performance that night.
After his second class ended they saw Amberly waiting for them at the entrance of the school. Jason stiffened slightly. He was still smarting over the fact that she had told Robin about the pact and their first kiss.
“Hey guys.” She greeted them.
“Hey.” Jason said simply.
“Hey.” Robin responded. “So have you decided on what you’re wearing tonight?”
“Well, I have black leather pants that I’ve never worn. And I figured I could wear a tank top and leather jacket.” Robin couldn’t quite picture the small, petite girl in black leather. But she wouldn’t say anything about it.
“I don’t have a black leather jacket but I do have a black knit dress, and I can add leather boots.”
“Sounds good.” Amberly spoke. She peeked over at the silent Jason. “Did Robin tell you that we are coordinating our look to wear all black tonight?”
“Nope.” He said simply.
“Well I already told Patty to tell Link. We’ll be very cool looking.”
“Right.” Jason said.
“Okay.” Amberly hesitated. “I guess I’ll see you two tonight. Your place about seven, Top?”
“Whenever. I’ll be there.” He said, voice almost dismissive.
Amberly shambled away sadly.
Robin gave him a look. “What was that? If anyone should be mad at her it’s me.”
“I just wish she wouldn’t have said stuff.” He spoke. He didn’t know what purpose revealing the details of that stupid day served except to possibly drive a wedge between him and Robin. He had to wonder if that had been her motive. And that very well could have happened if Patty hadn’t called to tell him what was up.
“Where shall we go for lunch?” Robin asked as they headed for her car.
“Hmmm. You choose.” He said.
“Okay.” She drove to a popular bar and grill while Jason went through her CD’s. He then withdrew his MP3 player and plugged it into her CD player. She was surprised to hear alternative music coming from the speakers. She had to stop being surprised at his taste in music. Just because he mixed didn’t mean that he only listened to hip hop. He’d already introduced her to the Hip Hop Opera, and dubstep and he knew about Jazz.
Once they arrived at the restaurant, she didn’t bother to open the trunk, she just reached in the back for his crutches. He gave her a quick look. “We need to practice, babe. We haven’t walked in a few days.” He nodded and accepted the crutches. It was slow going and Robin thought he had a strained look on his face. She decided that they couldn’t take days off like that anymore. It had really set him back.
They were seated immediately. Robin lowered her menu. “Jason, I meant to tell you that my Mom and I are going on vacation at the end of the year.” She frowned. “What are we going to do about an Aid when I’m gone…or, god forbid, I get sick and need to take time off?” She was thinking about her ulcer. She knew that it would go away on its own but she didn’t know if she’d have a set back that might cause her to take a day or two off.
He was frowning now, too. “You’re going on vacation? For how long?”
“Close to two weeks; after Christmas.”
“Technically, I can get a backup. And if part of that time is during school break then it’s no big deal at all.” He gave her a long look. “Selfishly, though, I don’t want you gone for that long.” He was already dreading the weekends but two weeks without her?
She smiled softly. “Honestly, I don’t want to be gone that long, either.”
“Where are you going?”
“The Bahamas. This will be the first trip that my Mom’s taken since Daddy passed. She really wanted me to go with her and though spending that many days with my Mom won’t be easy, it’s kind of important.”
“I understand.” The waitress came by and took their orders. Afterwards Jason cleared his throat. “Have you told your mother about me?”
She watched him closely trying to gauge his expression but was unable to. “Just about you being my patient.”
He didn’t say anything for a few moments. “What do you think she will say about us?”
She considered all of the things that her mother would see; a boy that was white, younger than her, in a wheelchair, and with Cerebral Palsy. “Nothing good.” She spoke honestly.
He didn’t ask her to explain.
“What about your Mom?”
“I don’t think she will care. I’ll talk to her about it this weekend.” His mother was very cool in some respects…but she was also very overly protective. Right now, his thoughts were less on his mother and more on the fact that Robin had brought up a good point. If she needed time off, who would fill her shoes? Would he have to take a leave of absence from school? Would he have to take his chances without an Aid? What about his books and the laptop—the seizures were the least of his problems. His hands didn’t work well. If they did then he wouldn’t feel as if it took the precision of a micro surgeon to aim a wad of toilet tissue successfully to his bum. Without working hands he couldn’t plug in his laptop, retrieve his books, put away his books, he’d have to take a bus to and from school or depend on others to transport him.