by Pepper Pace
“Baclofen?” Robin asked. “What is Baclofen?”
No one said anything. Raymond moved to get heating pads which he placed on Jason’s knees. Finally he spoke. “Did you tell her that you used to be able to walk? Without crutches?”
Robin gave Jason a shocked look. But he wouldn’t meet her eyes. He was staring sullenly at his knees. Finally he spoke. “I learned to walk the way any toddler does. It took me longer and I limped and fell more often. But I walked the way Amberly does. By the time that I was about seven the seizures got worse until I was losing consciousness and I got a wheelchair so that it was more convenient. My mom would go to work and the Aid I had would keep me tied in bed or to the chair for the whole day. I didn’t ever think to tell her…it just seemed sort of like, what I had to do; like getting the shots, taking the medicine. So she didn’t know.” He met Robin’s eyes. “I don’t blame my mom for that. She blames herself. But it was just convenient for her to wheel me around. She never understood that I had lost those muscles. Then when she would have me walk, I was on my tiptoes.”
Raymond was massaging Jason’s feet and he interjected. “When a person is restricted to a wheelchair they have to have physical therapy to keep the muscles limber. Once they atrophy it can never be undone. All that can be done is to surgically release them. In other words, to cut them. Jason’s muscles had to be cut so that his legs could straighten and his feet could flatten. That’s what he means when he says that he was on his tiptoes.”
Robin reached out and gripped his hand. So this was the story that he had not wanted to tell her. How much she wished that he had not had to live it in order to tell her. “How many surgeries?”
“Three in all.” Jason said.
“This,” Raymond said, “is a sign for number four.”
Robin’s grip tightened on Jason’s hand. “What about this Baclofen? What did it do for Jason?”
Raymond and Jason exchanged looks and Jason waved his hand for him to tell the story since he had already told all of his business.
“Baclofen is what gave Jason his legs back. It’s what allowed him to walk again with the use of crutches.”
“Well,” her eyes were excited as she looked at Jason. “Start taking it again.”
“My mother had the pump removed.” There was a bitter look to his face. “She took my legs again.”
***
Robin learned that The Baclofen pump was a device that sent a continuous deposit of medication directly into the spinal column, with the intent of reducing the spasticity in legs. Once he started taking the drug the results were immediate. He not only gained muscle strength and mass, it also helped with his speech. Baclofen was not a cure for Cerebral Palsy. There was no cure for the disorder. But it did help with the muscle symptoms associated with it, and that was not just confined to his legs.
But one of the side effects of the drug is light headedness. There were others including nausea, double vision, sleepiness. But when Jason fell one time too many, his mother had the medicine stopped and the port removed. When she took his legs this second time, Jason could not forgive her. His plan had been to live at home while he went to college. Instead he found his own place. He walked despite the lack of Baclofen…but then he fell into the glass table and his mother took away his walking braces.
Robin’s face burned in anger. “She doesn’t control you anymore Jason! You’re over eighteen.”
“She controls the insurance that pays for it. She controls the money that allows me to have Aids and to go to school. What the State doesn’t pay, she does.” He was nodding his head regretfully. “Yeah, she controls a lot. Besides, using Baclofen requires a big commitment on the part of my support person because Baclofen is potentially deadly and it is very easy to overdose. It has to be monitored and the adjustments to the medicine can sometimes occur multiple times during the week. The tube can come undone and dump into my system. With my seizures that’s a big risk…”
She found herself not liking Mrs. Hamilton very much. Maybe now that she was in the picture, she could show her that he would be safe…And then Robin remembered that she was probably the last person that Jason should trust with a major risk like that.
It had been a long day. Both Jason and Robin left rehab weary; both mentally and physically. Jason made an appointment with the orthopedic specialist and they drove home too tired to do anything more than listen quietly to the radio.
Robin retrieved the wheelchair from the trunk wordlessly. He wasn’t to do anymore walking until after he’d seen the specialist. In his apartment Jason froze and looked around slowly.
“What?” Robin asked. She was slow to shut the door, unsure if Jason had sensed a break-in or something.
“My mother’s been here.” He wheeled quickly to the kitchen. Robin followed and noted that the room now smelled of Pine Cleaner. Jason was taking stock of the refrigerator’s contents and he cursed under his breath. He immediately reached for his cell phone from his pants pocket.
“Mom?” He spoke into the phone. “Were you over here today?” Jason listened. “Well I thought I told you to come Saturday-” Robin could clearly hear his mother yelling at him and then she hung up on him. He scowled and replaced the phone. He looked at Robin. “She said that she had a life too and maybe she wanted to do something more with her Saturday than to come over here and clean and shop for me. Then she hung up.” He made a dismissive sound and wheeled into the bedroom.
“She didn’t see the braces or crutches because we had them.” Robin said. Jason was holding the trash basket in his hands.
“Yeah, but now she knows about you…I didn’t have time to dump the condom from last night.” Robin’s stomach crashed. The basket was now empty, the condom gone. Jason wheeled to the bedside table and opened the top drawer. He lifted the box of condoms for her to see. “I can guarantee you that she went searching for these.” He said angrily. “She needs to stay the hell out of my business.”
Robin’s eyes got big and she hurried to the bathroom. The trash there was empty as well. She’d tossed the first, unused condom there. The stabbing pain in her stomach was unlike the usual and she absently rubbed her side.
Jason was watching her curiously. “Have you taken your medicine?” She shook her head. “Robin…”
“I’ll take it now.”
They quickly moved through Jason’s toiletry. And after, though she would have liked nothing more than to crawl into Jason’s freshly made bed, she left, promising to return before eight. She needed a nap and the time to put things into perspective.
For once Jason didn’t object. They kissed briefly and then he made a bath for himself. He wanted to soak his sore muscles. He felt as if he’d been run over by a freight train.
Chapter 11
Robin napped later than she had expected. But it was a well needed rest. As she showered, she indeed had placed things into perspective. She would just work harder. She wasn’t going to back away because of what happened today. She would prove to Jason that she was strong and someone that he could depend on. Then if he got to the point where he wanted that port again, he would see that she would be the support system that he could depend on.
She put on a black dress that pulled across her curves in a sexy way. It was cut just above the knees and usually she wore the matching jacket which gave it a very professional look. Without it, it was more sexy than professional. She pulled on black nylons and black leather boots. And then for a change she put on makeup.
When she got to Jason’s his friends were already there and she could hear beats coming from the closed door. She used her key to let herself in, remembering the consequences of doing this before but dismissing it and focusing on getting through this night.
Everybody stared at her when she came inside, and she wanted to just walk out the door before she remembered that she was dressed up and that was probably the reason…probably.
Amberly grinned at her from her seat on the couch, and Jason pushed back his headphones,
his eyes scanning her form in appreciation.
“Wow, Sweetheart!” Peter said. “You look great.”
She blushed and came inside. Belinda was the one that had her attention, though. She looked great in her corset! There was nothing androgynous about her now. Her auburn hair was softly spiked, her makeup was bright wine colored lips and vibrant eye shadows instead of the usual harsh black lines that she used whenever she thought to wear makeup. The cat suit was the perfect complement to the corset as it concealed most of her pale flesh, allowing the corset itself to become the star instead of her nudity beneath it. If not for the ankle length skirt she could have come off as an Amazon warrior. Instead she was a sexy mysterious woman.
“Belinda…I had no idea that it would like that good on you.” Belinda awkwardly crossed the room and pulled her into the kitchen.
“Are you sure that I look alright?”
“Didn’t Peter tell you in a million ways?” Belinda’s eyes dropped. Her eyes suddenly rose and sought out Robin’s.
“Don’t be mad at me for telling. I’m sorry…but I’m not sorry.” Robin frowned at that statement. “I’m sorry that I might have broken your trust in me and it might be something I’ll never get back.” She watched her closely. “But I had to take that chance.”
Robin shrugged after a moment. “It’s not up to you to keep my secrets. That’s my job.” Belinda was aware that Robin hadn’t quite said whether or not the trust between them was gone, but she didn’t seem angry so that was something.
“You look great by the way.” She said while giving her arm a gentle squeeze. Robin looked down self-consciously and thanked her.
They returned to the living room and Robin stared at Jason, who was the only one not wearing black. Link was even wearing black jeans and a black turtleneck with blackout sunglasses resting atop his blonde hair.
Amberly was wearing a ridiculous oversized leather jacket, tight jeans and a t-shirt which somehow made her look like Sandy from the movie GREASE. And although when Robin first saw the movie the look was cool and sexy, some fifteen years later it was just sad.
But Jason was wearing a bright yellow jumpsuit. She just stared at him in confusion.
“Jason, why are you wearing a yellow jumpsuit? You look like Uma Thurman from KILL BILL.”
Everybody laughed. “Not KILL BILL.” Jason said while wheeling from behind his studio. He took her hands and lightly pulled her forward so that he could kiss her. “GAME OF DEATH; the Bruce Lee movie. Quentin Tarrantino did a tribute to Bruce Lee by putting the costume into KILL BILL but it’s not Uma’s it’s Bruce’s.
“God…you are a nerd.” She said playfully. She glanced at Amberly and saw the younger woman watching them closely before quickly shifting her gaze away. She figured that Jason had purposely not worn black just to spite the girl. Well, she wouldn’t concern herself with them. Her life was becoming cluttered with things that were more important to her.
The party atmosphere that had been present last week definitely wasn’t present this week. Jason and Peter created beats that made Robin want to leap up and find a recording studio for them to sell their work! But Amberly was more subdued and she sat on the couch quietly, sometimes dancing in her seat, but mostly just listening. And Patty was not up mimicking break dance moves. There was some definite tension between she and Peter and Robin could clearly feel it.
The couple didn’t shoot well meaning jibes and sarcasms back and forth. Peter would glance at her from the corner of his eyes and Belinda just pretended to ignore him all together. Uh oh…did he not give her the right compliment on her look? She couldn’t believe that would be possible. She looked absolutely wonderful.
The girls chatted amongst themselves about the most benign subjects; music, the weather, Halloween next week. She was never so happy for it to finally be time to leave. While they climbed into the van, Peter said something to Belinda but she ignored him and slammed the door shut behind her. He just sat there in his wheelchair with a strange look on his face; sadness? Regret, anger? Robin couldn’t place it. Robin and Jason exchanged looks and he shrugged imperceptibly.
When they arrived Robin helped carry speakers, which were large and unruly but light weight. She gave the man at the door a long look and he looked away quickly. Belinda disappeared inside without helping with anything and Amberly tagged along with the guys, helping them to connect the things that she could with her slow moving hands.
The partiers were anxious for them to get started and for the pre-recorded top forty songs to end. Peter began with some scratches and the crowd quietly listened, almost enthralled by his talent. Robin grinned at Jason who looked phenomenal in the jumpsuit. He had donned a goofy red and black athletic headband and it was holding back his wild red hair that she had worked so hard to detangle earlier that morning. He winked at her and two girls standing next to her gave her surprised looks. She beamed, proud to be the recipient of that wink.
Belinda returned, holding a cup of some dark colored drink. Coca Cola and Hennessey most probably. She was dancing sensually to the beat of the mix. And then Jason joined in with his rhythm. It got funky sounding and people got to dancing. Robin swayed to the rhythm and Amberly removed a camera and began filming.
Robin took the time to really look at the crowd of party-goers. Omicron house was big but there were just a few rooms, and everyone was trying to crowd into this main one. Some that had no chance of making it in danced and swayed or made movements close to dancing and swaying on top of tables or the sofa’s. Omicron house was bringing in good money because the place was packed!
Belinda left once again for a refill on her drink. When she left the third time, Robin followed her. Belinda was shaking her head, already obviously tipsy.
“No, Robin. No drinking, it’s going to kill your ulcer.”
Robin reached for a bottled water. “I wasn’t going to drink. I meant it when I said that I was done with it.” She recalled the hangover and severe illness she experienced after her first time being drunk and had no intentions of revisiting it, especially considering that the sharp pain in her side hadn’t let up at all since it had appeared hours ago. “But you should slow down. We’ve only been here little over an hour and you’re starting your third drink.” Belinda ignored her comments.
“Come on. Jason told me to keep my eyes on you. Let’s go back and dance.” She gave Belinda a surprised look but followed the woman back into the main room, happy that Belinda was big enough to shove them a path back to the front of the room.
A lot of very good looking guys approached her, but she shyly shook her head no, each time peeking at Jason who was too busy mixing music to notice. Guys and girls were approaching Belinda as well. Most times she kept dancing oblivious to whoever was talking to her, but sometimes Robin caught her grinding against whoever was next to her, moving erotically on the dance floor.
Peter was busy scratching and mixing music, but not too busy to notice. And his strained expression was evidence to his dislike of the situation. What was going on between them?
Amberly was getting knocked around by the crowd as she tried to change out the tape on her camera. Robin helped her, as her fingers moved quicker.
“What’s going on with Belinda and Peter?” She asked.
Amberly just shook her head. “They were like that when I got to the apartment. They must have been fighting.”
Robin kept her eyes on Belinda and her drinking, but she also began to warm up to the crowd and to jam to the music. It was during the second hour that she heard the familiar beat for the Wheels of Steels hit; MORE LOVE. Everyone whooped and she was surprised herself. She thought that since the group was technically broken up that they would only play new music. Robin closed her eyes and felt herself being carried away by the song that had first awakened her to Jason. She never thought that she could allow herself to become lost in a crowd, but it was easy; especially when all eyes were on Peter and Jason and not on her. And so she allowed herself to dance to hersel
f, feeling the music move her.