The Forgiving Jar

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Mary Ruth was almost to the stairs when Michelle came in. “I don’t know what happened with Sara,” she said breathlessly. “We were talking in the car one minute, and then after we drove into the yard, Sara got out and took off for the house. Makes me wonder if she got upset about something I said.”

  Mary Ruth moved closer to Michelle. “What did you say to her?”

  “We were talking about forgiving others, and Sara said if there’s a God, He shouldn’t allow people to keep secrets or treat others unfairly.” Michelle’s brows drew inward. “I was about to tell her that we are not puppets, and if other people do things to hurt us, it’s not God’s fault, because He gave everyone a free will. But I never got the chance to express that, since Sara hurried away.”

  Mary Ruth nodded slowly. “When Sara came in, I could tell she either wasn’t feeling well or was upset about something. Apparently it was the latter.”

  “I guess so.” Michelle gestured to the kitchen. “Can we go in there and talk more?”

  “Of course. I’ll fix some hot tea and you can tell me how things went with your job.”

  When Michelle entered the kitchen behind Mary Ruth, she filled the teakettle with water and placed it on the stove.”

  “Danki, but you didn’t have to do that,” Mary Ruth said.

  “I was happy to heat the wasser. You and Willis certainly do enough for me. Besides, I enjoy helping out.”

  Mary Ruth smiled. “You’re very kind.” While she and Michelle waited for the water to heat, they took seats at the table.

  “Where’s Willis?” Michelle asked. “Is he out in the barn or taking a nap in his easy chair, like he often does this time of the day?”

  “Neither. Our driver Stan picked Willis up after lunch and drove him to a chiropractic appointment. I’m guessing it took longer than expected. Either that, or they stopped afterward to run a few errands.”

  “At least we don’t have to worry about them getting stuck in bad weather.” Michelle glanced out the window. “The roads were perfectly clear on the way home, and there’s no snow in sight.”

  “That’s good to hear.” Mary Ruth rose from the table. “Supper is in the oven, but it’ll be at least an hour before we eat. Would you like an apple or some cheese and crackers to tide you over?”

  “No, thanks. The only thing I need right now is something for my sore feet. I’m not used to being on them all day, but I’m sure after I’ve worked at the restaurant awhile I’ll toughen up.” Michelle gave a shallow laugh.

  “I have some liniment you can rub on your feet and legs. And a warm soak in the tub might help as well.”

  “Good idea.”

  Mary Ruth leaned slightly forward. “Now about Sara … Do you think she still hasn’t forgiven you for letting Willis and me believe you were her all those months?”

  Michelle shook her head. “She said she’s forgiven me, but I believe there is someone from Sara’s past she hasn’t forgiven.”

  “Did she say who?”

  “No, but she did say there were some people in her life she can’t forgive right now. She also said she wasn’t sure she ever could.”

  Mary Ruth rapped her knuckles on the table. “I wonder if those people might be her parents. Perhaps she hasn’t forgiven her biological father—whoever he is—for not coming forward and standing by her mother when she was pregnant. Or maybe she’s holding a grudge because her mother didn’t tell her about us when she was alive.”

  “But Sara knows about you now, and she ought to realize how much you love her.”

  “That is true.”

  The teakettle whistled, and Michelle jumped up to get it. Mary Ruth remained at the table while Michelle fixed their cups of tea. I wonder how my granddaughter would respond if I brought up the topic of her not knowing about us until she read her mother’s letter. I won’t go barging up to Sara’s room to say anything now, but when I am alone with her sometime and feel the time is right, I will bring up the subject. Hopefully she’ll be willing to discuss it. And if Sara is holding resentment toward Rhoda, I pray she will forgive her, for that is the only way she will ever feel a sense of peace.

  Still wearing her coat, Sara held her temples as she paced her bedroom floor for the umpteenth time. I need to clear my head and stop beating myself up about who my father is. And I don’t want to think about forgiveness right now either. Maybe some fresh air will help.

  Sara went downstairs and stopped in the kitchen, where Michelle sat with Grandma, drinking tea. It figures they’d be together. They’ve probably been talking about me.

  “I’m going outside for some fresh air,” Sara announced.

  “Would you like a cup of cinnamon tea?” Michelle asked, her feet propped up on an empty kitchen chair.

  “No, thanks. Maybe later.” Sara reached for the doorknob, just as Grandpa came in.

  “Oh good, you’re back!” Grandma got up and greeted him as he stepped into the kitchen. “I didn’t hear your driver pull in. How did your appointment go?”

  “Feel good as new again.” Grandpa rolled his shoulders and neck with apparent ease. “But before I forget—I checked for phone messages out in the shed, and Sara, there is one for you.”

  “Okay, thanks Grandpa. I’ll go out and see who it’s from.”

  As she walked out onto the porch, Sara took a deep cleansing breath of the cool crisp evening air. This time of year, the atmosphere seemed so clean and fresh. Not like the heat of summer when the weather turned hot and humid.

  Sadie barked and ran up to greet Sara, wagging her tail. “Hey, girl. How are you doing?” Sara stopped to pet the collie’s head. “Bet you’re lonely, huh? Well, come on and keep me company while I see who left me a message.”

  As if she understood what Sara had said, Sadie barked again, ran ahead, and sat waiting for Sara outside the phone shed.

  Sara pulled open the door and left it partially open. When she sat on the chair inside, Sadie came in and plopped down on top of Sara’s feet, which felt pretty nice. “You can keep my feet warm for me.” Sara smiled, feeling a bit better from being with the dog.

  Pushing the answering machine’s MESSAGE button, she was surprised to hear a message from her stepfather. Dean didn’t say much, just asked Sara to give him a call.

  “That’s strange. I wonder why he didn’t call my cell phone.” Sara looked at Sadie, as though expecting an answer. “Of course, since arriving, I’ve rarely used my cell or checked it regularly for messages.”

  Sara punched in Dean’s number, and he answered on the second ring. “Hello, Dean. I got your message.”

  “Hi, Sara. Just wanted to call and see how your Christmas went. I got your card and had planned to call to wish you a Merry Christmas, but Kenny and I went out to dinner that evening and didn’t get back till late. Now here it is, almost New Year’s.”

  “Well, thanks.” Sara was surprised by his call and felt a little guilty for not calling him or Kenny on Christmas. “Umm …” She shifted the receiver to her other ear, glancing down at Sadie.

  “How have you been, Sara? We haven’t talked in a while.”

  “I’m doing fine. How are things going there?”

  “Okay. The people who rented your half of the duplex are nice, and I haven’t had any trouble with them paying the rent on time.”

  “That’s good.” Sara mentioned her new job at the floral shop, and told Dean a few things about her grandparents. “Oh, by the way—how is Kenny doing?”

  “Fine. He’s in his room right now, doing homework and counting the days until he graduates from high school this spring.”

  “Hard to believe he’ll be graduating.”

  “Yeah, it sure is.”

  “Well, I won’t keep you, Sara, but before we hang up, I wanted to run something by you.”

  “What is it?” Sara asked.

  “Would you mind if Kenny and I came to visit you sometime? Maybe when the winter weather is over and the roads will be safer. We could come some weekend, since I
don’t want Kenny to miss any school. I think it’s past time for him to meet his grandparents, don’t you?”

  “Sure.” Sara was stunned hearing Dean wanted to visit, but now it made sense. Kenny had every right to get to know Grandpa and Grandma, and they him.

  “We may only come to visit for a few hours and go back on the same day. Or if we want to spend a little more time, we could get a hotel and stay overnight.”

  “Um … Okay. Give me a call when you think that might be.”

  “Sounds good. And don’t forget, Sara, you can call me anytime you want. We shouldn’t let so much time go by before we talk again.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Sara was anxious to end the conversation. “Sorry, Dean, but it’s cold out here in the phone shack, and I need to go.”

  “Certainly, Sara. You take care now, and I’ll talk to you again soon.”

  “Okay. Tell my little brother I said hi.”

  “Will do.”

  After Sara’s stepfather said goodbye, she sat in the phone shed awhile, in spite of the cold. Maybe I should have talked with him longer. It’s really not that cold, and I am wearing a coat. She glanced down at the dog. Not to mention my feet are plenty warm, thanks to Sadie.

  It was nice Dean wanted to stay in touch, even if they’d never been close. Of course, the main reason for him coming to Strasburg would be for Kenny, not Sara. She tapped her knuckles on the table where the telephone sat. No surprise. Dean’s always thought more about Kenny’s needs than mine. But I guess that’s because he’s his biological father.

  Coaxing Sadie along, Sara left the phone shed and walked back toward the house, feeling worse than she had before. She could not handle more guilt right now. Guess I should have called Dean a few weeks ago, at least to wish him and Kenny a Merry Christmas, but I didn’t want to ruin my own Christmas having to hear all about whatever Dean had bought for Kenny. While Sara would not have admitted it to anyone, she didn’t care that much about seeing her stepfather, although it would be nice to see her brother. If Dean really cared about Sara, he would have taken more of an interest in her when she was a girl, growing up.

  Chapter 22

  The following day, Brad decided to stop by the flower shop in Strasburg to see Sara again. It was after twelve when he got there, but he hoped he wasn’t too late to take her out to lunch.

  When Brad entered the store, he saw no sign of Sara. An older woman with light brown hair, sprinkled with gray, sat behind the counter. As he approached, she smiled. “Good afternoon. May I help you, sir?”

  “Umm … yes …” Brad glanced around. “Is Sara working today?”

  “Yes, she’s in the back room having lunch.” The woman pointed over her shoulder. “Did you need to speak with her, or is there something I can help you with?”

  “My name is Brad, and Sara and I know each other.” He shifted his weight. “I’d like to talk to her if possible.”

  The woman rose from the stool. “I’ll tell her you’re here.”

  As he waited for Sara, Brad walked around the shop, looking at all the plants and flowers for sale. Some were kept in a refrigerated cooler, but most, like the indoor plants, had been set in various locations throughout the store.

  Think I might pay for one of these plants or a bouquet of flowers and have it sent to my aunt. She’d probably enjoy looking at it while she’s recuperating from her recent surgery. Brad thumped his head. I should have thought to do that sooner.

  As he was contemplating which arrangement to choose, Sara came out of the back room, along with the woman who had been behind the desk.

  “Hi, Brad.” Sara offered a friendly smile. “Mrs. Roberts said you wanted to speak to me.”

  He gave a quick nod. “I’d hoped to take you out for lunch again, but I guess I got here too late.”

  “Yes, I’m almost done and will be back working behind the front desk again soon.” She moved a little closer to him. “I’d offer to share my lunch with you, but I only brought half a sandwich today and it’s nearly gone.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll pick up something to eat after I leave here.” Brad’s voice lowered when he saw Mrs. Roberts looking at him. No doubt she was listening in on their conversation.

  He jammed his hands into his jacket pockets, feeling nervous and nearly tongue-tied all of a sudden. “Have you, uh, made any special plans for New Year’s Eve?”

  “No, I haven’t. I’ll probably spend the evening with my grandparents, and if they are too tired to stay up till midnight, I’ll most likely go to bed too.”

  “What about Michelle? Won’t she be there?”

  Sara shook her head. “I heard her mention to Grandma that she will be doing something with Ezekiel that evening. I believe they’ll be getting together with some of his friends. Come to think of it, Michelle said their get-together would be at his cousin Raymond’s house.”

  “Do you think your grandparents would mind if I stole you away for at least part of New Year’s Eve?” he asked. “There’s going to be a Christian concert in Lancaster that evening, and I thought it would be fun to go.”

  She dropped her gaze to the floor, and then looked up at him again. “It sounds interesting, but let me check with Grandma and Grandpa first and see if they would mind if I go.”

  “Okay, sure. You have my number, so give me a call and let me know as soon as you’ve talked to them.”

  “I will.” Sara cheeks turned slightly pink. “Guess I’d better go back and finish the little bit that’s left of my lunch. Thanks for coming in, Brad. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  When Sara disappeared into the back room, Brad stepped up to the counter. His stomach growled while he picked a nicely colored bouquet for his aunt. “This should brighten up her day.”

  After he wrote a message for the card to accompany the flowers being sent, Brad checked his phone where all his addresses were stored. “And here is the address I’d like them to be sent to. My aunt lives in Seattle, Washington, so I hope it won’t be a problem.”

  “No, we are an FTD florist, so we can schedule a delivery anywhere in the United States. Is there any particular day you want these to arrive?” Mrs. Roberts asked.

  “As soon as you can send them would be nice.” Brad clutched his stomach when it growled loudly again.

  “Sounds like you’d better eat some lunch.” She grinned.

  “Yep, that’s where I’m heading next.” Brad paid for the purchase. “Okay. Well, thanks for taking care of that.”

  “Thank you for shopping here. Have a nice day.”

  Walking out the door, Brad’s thoughts went to Sara again. He hoped the Lapps wouldn’t object to her going to the concert with him, because he looked forward to being with her again, on a real date.

  Sara couldn’t believe she was actually considering going to a Christian concert with Brad. I’m not a religious person, she told herself as she finished her lunch. I may not even enjoy the music. Sara drank the last of her bottled water. But I would like to spend New Year’s Eve with Brad.

  It made no sense that she’d be attracted to a man of God—preparing to go into the ministry, no less. She stared at her empty bottle. Brad’s not my type. We have nothing in common, really. Then why do I feel so drawn to him? Does Brad feel it too? Is that why he seems to be interested in me?

  It wasn’t Brad’s good looks that drew her to him either. It was his soft-spoken, gentle, caring way. He clearly was concerned about people and their problems. Everything about him seemed genuine. He was the real deal, not fake or trying to be impressive. She still hadn’t told him things were better between her and Michelle or why. Maybe if we go out on New Year’s Eve I’ll bring up the subject.

  Sara gathered up her things and looked at her watch. It was time to relieve Karen so she could take her lunch break. So for now, Sara would put all thoughts of Brad Fuller out of her mind and concentrate on greeting customers and placing orders. After she picked Michelle up at Dienners later this afternoon, Sara would stop by the grocery
store and get something for tonight’s supper. She had told Grandma this morning during breakfast that she’d cook this evening’s meal. Unfortunately, Sara had no idea what to fix. Maybe Michelle would have some idea. After all, she knew Sara’s grandparents better than she did, since she’d lived with them longer.

  Ronks

  Michelle glanced at the clock. Just another thirty minutes and her shift would be done for the day. The lunch crowd had dispersed a few hours ago, and only a few customers had come in since then. But that was normal for this time of the day. In another hour, people would be coming in for supper, but Michelle would be gone by then. It was another chilly day, with fresh snow on the ground, so she would wait inside until closer to when Sara picked her up a little after four thirty.

  An elderly Amish couple had just come in and been seated, so she went to take their orders. Michelle had noticed as they’d walked to the table that the woman used a cane, while the man supported her as she held onto his arm.

  “If you have any questions about the items we serve, let me know.” Michelle handed each of them a menu.

  Since Michelle wore Amish clothes, they must have assumed she could speak their language, for they responded to her in Pennsylvania Dutch.

  A warm tingle swept up the back of Michelle’s neck, and then across her face. “Sorry, but I only know a few Amish words,” she explained.

  The woman tipped her head back, looking curiously at Michelle through her thick-lensed glasses. “Aren’t you Amish?”

  “N–no, not yet.” Michelle tried not to stutter. “I want to become Amish though, and I’m taking classes to join the church.”

  The woman blinked rapidly. “Seriously?”

  Michelle gave a brief nod.

  “So you didn’t grow up in an Amish home?”

  “No.”

  “Then why would you want to join the Plain faith?” For the first time, the man spoke as he squinted his gray-blue eyes at Michelle.

  With the way the couple looked at her, Michelle felt like she’d said something wrong. Are they just curious or don’t they approve of an English person becoming Amish? Michelle hoped they didn’t question her much longer. Was it really that unusual for an English person to want to become a member of the Amish church?