She glanced over at Lenore, sitting beside her, so straight and tall. The attention of the Lapps’ granddaughter appeared to be fully focused on her grandfather, who’d begun preaching the second sermon of the day. Michelle had no doubt as to whether the pleasant schoolteacher was a Christian or not. Everything about Lenore spelled peace, love, and joy—all the attributes of a person who loved the Lord and set an example for others. It was hard to believe Lenore wasn’t being courted by anyone. She had the makings of a fantastic wife.
Michelle remembered how, when she’d first met Lenore, she had been surprised to learn that she often attended church in her grandparents’ district. But then she’d found out that many Amish people visit neighboring church districts on their off-Sundays, as she and the Lapps were doing today. Willis had even been invited as a guest minister to preach one of the sermons.
Michelle stirred restlessly. I hope when I get baptized next Sunday and become a church member, my actions will let others know I am a Christian.
While the Amish people she knew did not go around testifying and preaching their faith to people outside of their Plain community, they tried by their actions and deeds to be an example of what it meant to be a Christian.
“The world will know us by our actions,” Willis had said in one of the messages he’d preached. Michelle felt thankful for Ezekiel’s interpretation of the sermon that day, since she still struggled to understand the German language spoken during church. The everyday Pennsylvania Dutch dialect had been easier to grasp, and for the most part, she understood it and could speak a good many sentences now. How thankful she was for Ezekiel’s and the Lapps’ patience in teaching her those Amish words.
Next Sunday, church would be held at the home of Ezekiel’s parents, where the baptism would take place. As much as Michelle wanted to become Amish, she still struggled with the question, Am I ready to take this most serious step?
She closed her eyes briefly and lifted a silent prayer. Dear Lord, please give me a sense of peace about this, for getting baptized and becoming a church member is a life-long commitment—to You and the Amish church.
Chapter 34
A week later, Strasburg
Throughout the first sermon, preached by Willis Lapp, and now with the second one started by one of the other ministers, Ezekiel’s thoughts should have been focused on the man’s words, rather than someplace else. While he felt certain that joining the Amish church was the right thing for him, he still had some concerns. Saturday evening, Ezekiel, Michelle, and the eight other baptismal candidates met with the ministers one last time. The preachers had taken turns reading the articles of faith and answering any questions the young people had. It was their final opportunity to change their minds about joining the church.
Ezekiel had been relieved when Michelle didn’t back out. He’d been worried at first, but she seemed as sure as he was that becoming a church member was the right thing for her. What concerned him the most was when the ministers reminded the male candidates that, by becoming members, they were also agreeing to serve in the church as a minister or deacon, should the lot ever fall upon them. Ezekiel wasn’t sure he could handle such a big responsibility, and he hoped he would never be faced with it in the years to come. But if the time should ever come and his name was chosen, he would trust the Lord for the wisdom and strength to perform his duties.
He glanced across the way at Michelle. She sat looking down at her hands clasped together in her lap. No doubt, she felt a bit anxious this morning too.
Michelle’s stomach churned like a blender at full speed. In a few minutes she, along with the other candidates for membership, would kneel before the bishop to answer the questions he would ask each of them. This was the most exciting yet frightening thing Michelle had ever done. More so than her high school graduation, after which she’d decided it was time to leave her foster parents’ home and branch out on her own. Any doubts she may have had about making this lifelong change had passed when she entered Ezekiel’s parents’ house this morning and took her seat on one of the benches. Michelle was not the same person she used to be. She was fully committed to the Lord now, and would soon be committed to the Amish church as well.
Today was a special day for those seeking membership. Many of the candidates’ family members and friends had come to the service. Michelle wished her brothers could be here too. If Ernie and Jack knew about my decision to become Amish, what would they think? Would they make fun of me, like Jerry and his girlfriend did when I waited on them at the restaurant? Or would my brothers support my decision and say they were happy for me?
Michelle looked over at Ezekiel, wondering what he might be thinking right now. Was he nervous? Excited? She couldn’t be certain, although the way his right knee kept bouncing up and down, he had to be feeling one of those things.
Ezekiel hadn’t spoken up yesterday when asked if he had any reservations about joining the church. So Michelle had no doubts about his readiness to make the commitment with her today.
When the second sermon concluded, the bishop asked the candidates to leave their seats and kneel in front of him. Michelle’s heart pounded as he asked the group of young people their first question. “Can you confess that you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God?”
Michelle, along with the others, replied: “Yes, I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”
The second question came: “Do you recognize this to be a Christian order, church, and fellowship under which you now submit yourself to?”
Everyone replied affirmatively.
“Do you renounce the world, the devil, with all his subtle ways, as well as your own flesh and blood, and do you desire to serve Jesus Christ alone, who died on the cross for you?”
Tears welled in Michelle’s eyes as she and the others answered, “Yes.”
Then the final question came. “Do you also promise before God and His church that you will support these teachings and regulations with the Lord’s help, faithfully attending the services of the church and helping to counsel and work in it, and will not forsake it, whether it leads to life or death?”
“Yes.” Michelle’s throat tightened to such a degree that she could barely swallow or get the words out. Her heart was filled with unspeakable joy. It seemed as if she had been waiting for this blessed occasion all of her life.
Sara stood with the others in the congregation as the bishop offered a prayer. Michelle, Ezekiel, and the eight other young people remained in their kneeling position.
Following the prayer, everyone in the congregation returned to their benches, except for the bishop and deacon, who continued to stand in front of those who were knelt before them.
Sara watched with curiosity as the bishop went down the line, holding his cupped hands on top of each candidate’s head. Then the deacon poured water into the bishop’s hands three times, as the bishop spoke: “Upon your faith, which you have confessed before God and many witnesses, you are baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.”
After each person had been baptized, the bishop offered his hand and a holy kiss of peace to the males. His wife did the same for the females. Lastly a benediction was given: “You are no longer guests and strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints and of the household of God.”
Michelle is doing what she believes is right for her, Sara mused. But I am more certain than ever that I could never become Amish.
Hearing the bishop’s questions and the candidates’ answers, Sara knew if she’d been on her knees with the others, she would have had to either deny a relationship with Christ or pretend to be a believer, like she had with Brad.
Sara’s fingers curled into the palms of her hands. I am nothing but a hypocrite, pretending to be one thing, when I’m really something else. Sara had never liked being lied to, yet her life had become a big fabrication. She felt trapped in her own web of lies and saw no way of escape. She understood now how easy it must have been for Michelle to deceive her grandpare
nts. No doubt the imposter had convinced herself that she was doing it for the right reasons.
And what is my reason for pretending to be a Christian? Sara asked herself. Do I really care for Brad, or is just a passing fancy? Sara had never been caught up in a lie before, but now she couldn’t seem to help herself.
She weighed in again on a week ago, when Brad’s friend Terri kept showing up. While Brad had not admitted having feelings for Terri, Sara was almost certain the young ministerial student had eyes for him. She’d even been tempted to ask Brad if he’d ever taken Terri on a date.
Sara hoped she’d been able to hide her feelings from him, just as she hoped he didn’t suspect she wasn’t truly a believer.
She hadn’t heard anything from Brad this week, other than a phone call letting her know he had made it back to Clarks Summit last Sunday afternoon. It hadn’t been a lengthy call, and he’d said he needed to call his parents too. Sara suspected by the tone of Brad’s voice that he was tired after the long day, so she’d told him to get some rest and that she hoped he would have a good week.
While Sara was glad to hear he’d arrived okay, other doubts kept feeding into her brain. Were Brad and Terri seeing each other during or after school? Did they meet for lunch every day?
Feeling the need for a breath of fresh air to clear her head, when the service ended and people began to set up tables for the meal, Sara left the house. She needed time alone, to think about her situation.
After the meal, as Mary Ruth helped some of the other women clean up, she thought about Sara.
She could not forget the look on her granddaughter’s face when she and Willis hugged Michelle and said how happy it made them to see her get baptized and become a church member.
Sara had remained quiet during the meal too, responding only when spoken to. Was she jealous of the attention they’d given Michelle, or could Sara’s mind be elsewhere today?
There seemed to be an unnatural stillness about Sara as she stood off to one side, watching other family members and friends walk up to Michelle and offer a hug or handshake. Could Sara be jealous of the attention Michelle was receiving? Or might Sara be wishing that she too had joined the Amish church today? If so, she’d given no indication of that. Even though their granddaughter had chosen to continue living with them, she seemed satisfied with her English way of life. Sara obviously did not want to give up owning a car, her cell phone, or her laptop.
Mary Ruth’s eyes watered as she wiped off the last of the tables. If Rhoda hadn’t run away from home and joined the Amish church herself, Sara would no doubt have joined by now too. But Mary Ruth knew that if Sara ever contemplated joining their faith sometime in the future, it would be a decision she would have to make for herself. Neither Mary Ruth nor Willis would try to sway their granddaughter one way or the other.
In contrast to Sara’s disinterest in becoming Amish, Michelle fairly beamed as church members and friends went up to welcome her. She especially lit up when Ezekiel’s mother gave her a hug and whispered something in her ear. Belinda must have said something kind, for Mary Ruth was sure the moisture on Michelle’s smiling face was from happy tears. Hopefully, Ezekiel’s mother had accepted Michelle and felt good about the decision Ezekiel’s girlfriend had made to become Amish.
Mary Ruth was glad that, no matter what Sara might be feeling, she had at least greeted Michelle after the service and given her a hug. Mary Ruth let out a deep sigh. I am ever so happy for Michelle, she thought. She has come a long ways, and it was pure joy to watch her get baptized and know that she is now one of us.
Mary Ruth glanced out the window and saw Sara standing against one of the trees in the Kings’ backyard, her chin resting on her fist as though deep in thought.
“Well it looks like everything is about cleaned up.” Belinda King approached, holding a garbage bag in her hands.
Mary Ruth nodded. “It was a good day, jah?”
“Yes, it was, and I couldn’t be happier for my son today. Also, Michelle has proven to be more than I gave her credit for,” Belinda added. “I told her earlier that I am sorry for ever doubting her motives. It’s obvious now that she is truly committed to the Amish way and also to my son.”
“We are also happy for Michelle and Ezekiel,” Ivan said as he and Yvonne joined the conversation.
Lenore had been talking with Michelle and Ezekiel, and the three of them came over when they saw the small group forming.
“Where’s Sara?” Michelle asked.
“Yes, I want to say goodbye to her before we leave,” Lenore interjected.
“I saw her outside in the yard.” Mary Ruth gestured to the window.
“I’ll see if I can find her.” Lenore gave Mary Ruth a hug. “I love you, Grandma.”
“I love you too, sweet girl.”
Lenore turned to her parents. “After I say a few words to Sara, if I can find her, I’ll wait for you in the buggy.”
“Okay, we’ll be there shortly.” Ivan shook Michelle’s and Ezekiel’s hands. “Again, we welcome both of you to the church.”
Yvonne nodded, then gave Michelle a hug and shook Ezekiel’s hand.
Mary Ruth’s heart swelled, seeing Michelle’s sweet expression as she thanked Sara’s aunt and uncle for their warm greetings.
“Okay, Mom,” Ivan said, “We need to see if Benjamin and Peter have already headed for home. It’s a good thing they came in Peter’s carriage, because my buggy isn’t big enough for the five us now that our kinner are grown.”
Mary Ruth chuckled. “That’s how it is when the children grow up.”
“We have to catch Dad and say goodbye to him too, but I promise, we’ll be seeing you both soon.” Ivan and Yvonne gave Mary Ruth a hug, and headed out the door.
“Family is everything, isn’t it?” Belinda smiled as she watched Ivan and Yvonne depart.
“Jah, it certainly is.” Mary Ruth stole another look out the window and noticed Lenore walking around, obviously looking for Sara.
Mary Ruth gathered up her things before looking for Willis and Sara. It was time to go home. Later today when things quieted down, she would spend some time with her English granddaughter.
Chapter 35
The echo of Big Red’s hooves hitting the pavement rang in Ezekiel’s ears. His fingers, nose, and even his face tingled with anticipation. He was on his way to the Lapps’ to pick up Michelle for a Sunday evening buggy ride, and he’d never felt more nervous. They had both become Amish today, and now it was time to ask Michelle a most important question.
“Don’t know what I’m gonna do if she turns me down.” Ezekiel spoke out loud. “I’ve never cared for anyone the way I do Michelle.” He wiped a sweaty hand on his pants leg. “She’s all I could ever want. Can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without her.”
Big Red’s ears perked up, and he trotted a little faster. Did the horse sense how eager Ezekiel was to see his girlfriend?
The closer he came to the Lapps’ place, the more anxious Ezekiel became. He swallowed a few times, his mouth turning dry. He would have his answer—and soon.
Michelle went to the living-room window and peeked out.
“Are you watching for Ezekiel?” Willis asked from his easy chair across the room.
“Jah.” She turned to look at him. “He said he’d be here by six thirty.”
Willis winked at Mary Ruth, who sat in the chair closest to him. “I’d have to say, this young woman is as naerfich this evening as she was in church this morning when she got baptized.”
“I’m not nervous,” Michelle defended herself, but she smiled, knowing Willis was only joking with her. “I’ll admit, I am eager to see Ezekiel and go for a ride in his buggy.”
“It’s not like you’ve never ridden in his rig before.” Willis’s brows moved up and down as he gave her a playful grin.
His wife shook her finger at him. “Now, Husband, you should stop tormenting the poor girl. Some people don’t appreciate your teasing, you know.”
Willis’s smile widened as he looked back at Michelle. “You know I’m only kidding, right?”
“Of course, and it doesn’t bother me one bit.” Michelle glanced over at Sara, slouched on the couch, hugging a throw pillow in front of her. Sara hadn’t said much to any of them since they’d arrived home after the church meal. An hour ago, Sara mentioned having a headache, but when Mary Ruth suggested Sara take an aspirin and go upstairs to take a nap, Sara declined.
Michelle wished she could speak to Sara privately, but with Mary Ruth and Willis in the room, it wasn’t a good idea. Michelle hadn’t said anything to either of them about the conversation she’d had with Sara in the barn last week. She didn’t know whether they were aware of the bitterness their granddaughter felt about her mother’s deception. If they knew, it might be something they didn’t want to talk about. I wonder if Willis and Mary Ruth know Sara’s not a Christian. Bet if they did, they’d really be concerned.
The whinny of a horse brought Michelle’s attention to the window again. She smiled as she watched Ezekiel’s horse trot into the yard and head straight for the hitching rail.
With a quick goodbye to the Lapps and Sara, Michelle grabbed her black shawl and hurried out the door. Before Ezekiel even had the chance to tie Big Red to the rail, she opened the passenger’s door and climbed into the buggy.
He looked over at her with a big smile. “Guder owed, Michelle.”
With her heart beating a staccato, Michelle replied, “Good evening, Ezekiel.”
“Ready for a nice long ride?”
“Jah. I’m more than ready.”
Ezekiel backed the horse up, turned the carriage around, and headed out the driveway and onto the main road. They had only gone a short distance when he pulled over at a wide spot in the road, halting Big Red.
The Forgiving Jar Page 24