The City of the Broken (Prince of the Broken)

by Ceri Beynon

  “One girl, Jessica, wasn’t happy all of the time but she had a zest for life and a confidence that never departed from her and if I’m honest, my father never had a problem with her, although the reason for that could be simply that she didn’t make me happy. I still remained depressed and melancholic with her around, maybe that’s why he didn’t mind her so much”.

  “I don’t mean to sound egocentric, but am I the only girl who’s ever made you happy? Were there others that made your father say ‘back off’ too?”

  “One girl, we got along really well, like friends more than anything. My father stopped me seeing her straight away, I could scarcely say no then, after all I was still a child legally, I was 15 so when he told me it was the end I just accepted it. He was probably even worse back then, more controlling. It extended to friends, girlfriends, even teachers Anyone who fell below his high standards could come no where near me. I had a carefully chosen peer group and they were the only people I was allowed to see. That’s why it was so refreshing, coming here to college, mixing with everyone, away from fathers control.”

  “How did you manage that? Getting to college without him interfering again?”

  “I had the lecture from him about going to a school here in The City of the Broken, like every normal ‘broken’ kid, but I was not going to back down on this. I told him I wouldn’t talk to anyone at college, and if I did it would be to recruit new citizens. Its only because I said I’d recruit as well as study that he allowed me to go” he says with a tinge of sadness, as if he longs just to be normal.

  “So that’s why you wouldn’t speak to anyone except me .I always wondered why someone so attractive and potentially popular as you wasn’t surrounded by loads of people, in fact I think the whole college wondered why that was. You certainly had enough female admirers.”

  He smiles shyly as if he doesn’t believe that to be true.

  “So all the people in the city have been recruited?”

  “More or less, yes. Although father has this idea now that there’s a depression gene, so all the second, third, fourth and continuing generation citizens who are born in the city will be a race of their own, because both of their parents will be depressed. He believes in the heritability of depression. Soon he thinks we’ll have our own broken population.”

  “Your father is like a nutty professor or something” I say shocked that the king knows no limitations to his obsession with his city.

  “Is there any point in me having that talk with him, you know to try and make him like me now that he’s told you this?”

  “Probably not, it’ll only aggravate him more” he says assertively.

  “I think so too” I agree.

  Anyway I’ve not got the sort of personality that could win anyone over, I’m too shy. I don’t think anyone could win over Calix’s father. He’s so stubborn from what I can fathom. It would be interesting to actually have a conversation with the man though, then I could make my mind up for myself.

  “Actually Calix, could you arrange for us to speak to one another?”

  He’s taking a swig of his water as I ask this and gulps it down in such a way that I think he’s going to choke, urgent horror spreads across his face.

  “Seren, I’m telling you, its an awful idea. Please understand he doesn’t warm to hardly anyone, if he met you, no offence but he would ban me from seeing you forever. Lets just play it cool and stick to the acting, yeah ?If we just lie low and not make a fuss about the whole idea of us being together, he’ll probably just forget the whole thing.”

  “Really?” I ask, slightly dejected feeling.

  “No, Dad never forgets anything” he smiles innocently. We both laugh at this idea.

  The journey is ,aside from our in-depth conversation, one of laughter and jokes among the students and teachers.

  The bus finally reaches its destination and I think I can see snowflakes in the air.

  “Oh this is perfect, Calix, I thought it might rain and wreck the ice skating but this will be so romantic” I smile at him and I can see that he finds me amusing.

  “You are so soppy sometimes Seren, you paradox” he says flirtingly.

  “What do you mean?” I ask in mock shock.

  “Sometimes you are complicated, like have so much depth to you. Its like you know some huge secret that no one else on earth has the answer to. Then other times, like now, you are just a superficial girlie girl. I think that’s what intrigues me most about you.”

  “What that I’m superficial?” I ask puzzled.

  “No! Those two completely opposing sides, you work on so many different levels. Take my father for example, I always know where I am with him, sure he can be annoying but on the whole he’s quite a stable character. I don’t think I’ve ever met a person quite like you. You’re abstract. I cant figure you out at all. That’s what pulls me in.”

  I never thought of myself like that. I’ve always thought I was the ultimate bore.

  “I see you as that too really. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on and yet you are so learned and well-read. You’re a prince but you’re down to earth. You are a marvel really”.

  He smiles humbly as if he thinks I’m talking rubbish but its truly how I feel.

  “Right you lot” demands Mrs .Shelley in her school -marm manner.

  “Back at this bus certainly no later than 3.Lateness is my absolute bug-bear. Be here or we drive off without you. You got it?” She asks in her no nonsense manner.

  There is a chorus of ‘yes’ and nodding. And everyone gets off the bus.

  “This is so exciting Calix, have you ever been ice skating before?” I ask, grinning like an idiot.

  “Not ice skating, I do go skiing a lot though, so I’m hoping I’ll have some form of balance on the ice” he says with a mockingly fearful expression.

  Since we have an hour to burn before our class is booked in to go ice skating and everyone has branched off into their own little groups, Calix and I decide to visit the museum. I catch our reflection in the entrance hall window. He looks elegantly dressed like a movie star or top model. I look like Little Miss Average. We don’t look like a couple at all. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, even intimidated by how good looking he is.

  “Hey look ,they’ve got a pre-historic exhibit. Lets go and see that” I exclaim bursting with childhood wonder.

  “This does sound the most intriguing exhibit. All the rest is just local history. This exhibition is touring all over the world. I guess we’re lucky its here” he says.

  “As much as I love mammoths Calix, you have to know I have a fear of dinosaurs” I speak confessing my true phobia.

  “How can you have a fear of something that has long since died?” he laughs.

  “Its not funny! I’m terrified of them. You have to tell me your fear now that I’ve told you mine”.

  “My fear? Hmm…I don’t think I really have one”, he considers looking serious like the thought of fear has never occurred to him before.

  “Surely you must be scared of something” I say, trying to coax out some answer.

  “Only not having you in my life” he says.

  I can tell from his expression he is sincere and this truly terrifies him. It pulls at the strings of my heart as a puppeteer to his marionette.

  Here it is. We are greeted by mammoth fossils as we walk through the museum doors. The tusks are vast ,although not as big as I would have imagined.

  “Imagine being the one to have discovered these frozen in a block of ice” I say to Calix, who is reading the factual information with fascination.

  “Look there’s a baby mammoth”.

  “You’d never think something so cute could grow to be so huge” he says admiring the woolly elephant.

  We pass giant pre-historic bugs from tropical rainforests, evolving horses who started life looking little more than sheep, a deer with antlers bigger than the mammoth tusks and then we reach the jewel in the crown-the dinosaurs.

&n
bsp; “Are you sure you want to go through with this Seren?” asks Calix in sarcastic concern.

  “I’ll try and brave it out, but honestly Calix they really do creep me out” he giggles silently to himself.

  The T-Rex model is no where near as frightening as I thought it would be and the fossils are amazing. They even have genuine dino dung!

  After we’ve finished looking around the museum, we still have half an hour left before we go ice skating so we decide to go shopping. Although I don’t think Calix was overly enthusiastic about this idea, he seemed much more interested in the museum. We go to a fashion store.

  “The clothes are all so colourful” exclaims Calix.

  “They’re not colourful, they’re just ordinary”.

  “This is colourful” I say holding up a hot pink and orange dress.

  Calix’s eyes look like they are about to pop out of his head in shock

  “This is so unusual for me Seren, being in this different city, everyone so cheerful and colourful. I think I’ve just grown accustomed to darkness” he shrugs.

  “Don’t you like a bit of variety?” I ask, baffled by the fact Calix seems uncomfortable surrounded by the rainbow spectrum of normality.

  “Surely black gets a little boring all of the time” I persist.

  “Its not about colour Seren, its about what it represents. Look around at all these smiley put-on-for-show faces. Its so phoney. In my city you’re allowed, encouraged to be yourself, to show yourself as miserable, outcast, the black sheep. All I see here is pretence, people trying to be happy, always ‘on’, just to impress others. Well I’m not impressed by it at all”.

  Actually, he does have a point. I guess in The City of the Broken there’s a freedom in being allowed to be unhappy. Listening, all around me I hear the forced laughs and see those fake smiles. I can definitely understand his point of view.

  We stroll down an arcade. Its less mainstream down here. There are antique shops and a bookshop, which we decide to go in to as we know that reading is a common interest we share.

  They have beautiful books here, ones with really elaborate rare covers. On one of the shelves I spot Wuthering Heights, my favourite book.

  “You’re my Heathcliff Calix” I smile at him, because he really is just as brooding and intense.

  “You’ll be Cathy then, Seren” he says with all the magnetism of a gothic romance hero.

  This bookshop really does have it all. Classics, new titles ,fiction, non-fiction, poetry. Its a treasure trove of words. Calix and I are in such bliss, we lose track of time.

  “Calix, the ice skating, we’re about ten minutes late, come on!”

  We run all the way through the shopping centre, stopping only for the busy road. We cross then resume our haste.

  Luckily, our class is still queuing to go on the ice when we get there. We stand at the desk to get our ice skates. There are rows and rows of orange coloured skates in different sizes ,all wanting to be taken onto the frozen lake of the winter wonderland that awaits. As we get into the queue together, people seem to momentarily forget their ice nerves. Everyone is looking at us questioningly and I can hear whispering among the crowd.

  “Are they dating?”

  “I cant believe he’d want her”.

  Then one of the most up-front members of the class decides to find out for herself and ask the question no one else has been brave enough to ask.

  “Are you two together?”.

  I look at Calix to gauge his reaction and he says “Yes we are. We’ve been dating for about three months now” he answers coolly, without any shame in his voice.

  “Oh okay, you look good together” she says, taken aback slightly by Calix’s honesty.

  “So, here we are” I say, nudging him as he feigns terror.

  “I know I will end up flat on my face, please help me up if I fall” I plead to him, making myself sound like a puppy whining.

  “I’ll help you up, that is if I don’t fall over myself”

  “Oh Calix, you will never fall, you have all the grace of a ballet dancer. Besides those skiing lessons must have taught you some sort of balance. You’ll be Mr. Elegant and I’ll be a heap of arms and legs with everyone pointing and laughing at me”.

  “You’re always so hard on yourself Seren. Why do you always assume the worst? Besides the amount you’ve hyped me up now, its inevitable I wont live up to your expectations”.

  “I’m not hard on myself, I’m just accurate and from past experience I know I’ll be clumsy. This isn’t about balance, I can ride a bike, this is about people watching me. It doesn’t matter even if I’m extremely good at something, put me in front of a crowd and instantly I’ll fall to pieces”. Calix looks at me like I’m exaggerating or like he doesn’t actually believe me. Its okay for him, he’s used to doing everything in front of an audience. He’s a Prince!

  “So are you still going to go on the ice?”

  “Calix ,of course I’m going on. I know I’ll stumble but I still want to experience it. It sounds so romantic, ice skating with my boyfriend in December, all bundled up in scarves, hat and gloves. It could be a postcard scene, if only it wasn’t for the girl in the middle of the rink who’s knocked herself out from tripping over her own feet”

  We both snigger and Calix tries to comfort me

  “Please calm down Seren, I promise you’ll be fine, here I’ll hold your hand”. He does and suddenly even I feel confident., like I’m a professional ice dancer or a swan skating on her own lake, frozen from wintry nights and frosty days.

  The class have started to go on now, and the more confident students glide along the ice like this is second nature, whilst the less daring individuals cling on for dear life along the hand rail that goes around the whole rink.

  “Ready guys” says a friendly African-Caribbean man who works at the rink. Calix could look like an ice sculpture himself, with his perfectly carved features and porcelain skin. Holding his hand I feel anything is possible. Like I could grow wings and fly to the most distant universe, kissing the brightest and highest star just for the sake of it.

  “Ready?” He turns to ask me, looking so flawless and heroic that I could only ever say ‘yes’. We tightly hold hands and he leads me through those double doors, there’s no turning back now! We walk over the carpeted area, the last area of safety. Staying close to the side, Calix steps onto the ice like someone stepping into the sea for a paddle, their only fear being the temperature of the water. Not letting go of my hand, he turns to face me, to beckon me onto the ice with him.

  “Come on Seren, its really not that bad” He stands perfectly upright looking so at ease, not even holding onto the bar, so I decide it must be fine. Surely the skates have a firm grip? I put one foot on the ice and already I can feel how slippery it is. The skates do not help at all.

  “Calix, I cant. I’ll break my neck” I say fearfully. I’m about to turn back when he pulls me onto the ice.

  “You wont hurt yourself Seren, I promise. Just trust me okay” he says, gazing fixedly on me with his truthful eyes that could only ever completely fulfil a promise.

  “Okay” I answer fully believing every word. No one else could convince me of ice safety but Calix.

  I’m on it. Two feet on the ice. It is so slippery. Every time I think I’m achieving some kind of balance, the next second I slip, to which Calix chants ‘careful’, not ever slipping once. We are still round the edge, which is where I want to stay ,but Calix has other ideas

  “Come on Seren, lets go in the middle, it’ll be fun” he exclaims, eyes bursting with childlike excitement.

  “No! Calix you only just managed to get me onto the ice, I’m not looking forward to being the laughing stock of the whole college if I go into the middle!” I screech at him.

  “Please Seren, just for me?” he says, turning up the Fahrenheit on his hot factor.

  “Oh okay. If I fall you better shield me from the crowd and help me up pronto” I say trying to be forceful.
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br />   How do I let him convince me of these things? He has unbelievable powers of persuasion. He pulls me along as he moves like a champion ice skater and I try to enjoy the moment. I soon find that this is impossible as when I think I’m getting the hang of standing up and being dragged along, I find myself tripping over my own feet, nearly doing the splits. It doesn’t help that there is a crowd standing around the rink.

  “Oh please Calix, can we get off now? I hope you’re not expecting us to do the Bolero next are you?” I joke while at the same time secretly worrying he will think I’m seriously suggesting this.

  “No, okay Seren we’ll get off now. You were brave coming out in the middle with me”. We glide off with the most grace and ease I experienced the whole time of being on the ice.

  “Wow look at you two go, young love on the ice!” Its Mrs. Shelley, she’s been watching the whole class from the sidelines of the rink.

  “We’ve got half an hour left, if you are both finished with the ice why don’t you grab a coffee?” she suggests.

  “That’s a great idea Mrs. Shelley. We could use some warming up after that” says Calix.

  “Come on Seren” he says, taking my hand.

  “See you back on the bus” we both wave at her.

  We go to the nearest Starbucks. I order a caramel frappucino ,my all-time favourite.

  “Its mid-December and you’re ordering that”? he asks, a mix of shock and amusement on his face.

  “Who cares what month it is? These are always delicious” I smile at him.

  “What season appropriate beverage are you buying then?” I ask thoroughly annoyed at his disapproval of my drink.

  “Not a showy slushy that’s for sure. A proper coffee, an espresso”

  “An espresso?” I arch my eyebrow at him.

  “I cant say I’ve ever tried one but I already know they’ll be horrible” I say, folding my arms.

  “A grown up drink for sophisticated people such as myself” he says jokingly and I cant help but giggle. He’s adorable even when he’s getting on my nerves. We sit by a window so that we can chat ,sip and watch the world go by.

  “Look I even get a free straw, you don’t get such perks with fancy espressos” I tease.