Hijab

by Guruprasad Kaginele

  The OBGYN department did their own schedule. If one of them was sick, it was their responsibility to cover for that person. I had no clue where Razak was. What kind of irresponsibility is this that she assigns me the task of finding her coverage and goes home for a nap? I called Radhika again to say, ‘Radhika if you cannot be here it is your responsibility to call Smith or Razak and ask them to cover for you. If you can’t find someone to do that, I am sorry. I must ask you to come to the hospital immediately. Amina is sitting here, ready to deliver.’

  ‘Both of them are not answering my calls. I’m in no position to come to the hospital today. Call them again. If they don’t answer, somehow have her transferred to Minneapolis,’ and she hung up again.

  I looked in the call roster. It still had Radhika’s name on it. I called the labour ward again and enquired if Radhika knew that the patient coming in for delivery was Amina. I got the reply that it was only after hearing about Amina’s arrival that Radhika said she had a headache. I was furious. I called Radhika again. ‘Look Radhika, your name is on the roster. You cannot excuse yourself from work today.’

  ‘Did you check where Razak and Smith are?’

  ‘That is not my job. It is yours. You have to come to the hospital, if not then you will be responsible for whatever happens next.’

  ‘Ahh, Mr Boss, are you threatening me? What will you do? Go to the operating room and look for Smith. Razak may also be there. You know what? From now on, I’ll not be doing any Cesarean sections. Are you going to fire me? Go ahead. I’m not coming. Period!’ She hung up. When I tried to call her again, her phone was switched off.

  I was running out of ideas. However, I had to get things squared up before I got the next call from the labour ward. I’m not that proficient in delivering babies. And this wasn’t a garden variety delivery. It was Amina’s and a premature one at that! Nobody can predict what could happen in such situations. People like me are the Men Friday in such small hospitals. I get called if no one is available. Something had to be terribly wrong, or else Radhika would not have been this stubborn. Whatever that may be, she needed to be in the hospital.

  Left with no choices, I called the Amoka Police Department. I gave them my home address with the request that I’m concerned about Dr Radhika’s health. ‘There has been no response from her for all my phone calls. She is on call and there is a patient waiting for her. Could you please check her place? And if she is there, can you inform her that we have an emergency?’ Then I went to the operating room looking for Smith and Razak.

  18. Unbearable Lightness of the Womb

  Five of Smith’s children were seated outside the operating room. Smith had six kids in all. I knew the eldest daughter, Jacqueline. Jacqueline was a high school senior. Everyone fondly called her Jackie. It was rumoured that Jackie who was raised with strict catholic values had strayed a little in high school. Once, Smith had brought her to the emergency department. Apparently, she was found unconscious in her room. She was obviously drunk. Smith was concerned if she had any drugs on board. After all the tests, he had taken her home with the consolation she hasn’t sinned by resorting to street drugs. A devil’s bargain of sorts!

  Jackie was recently found to be pregnant. The Smith family, like any orthodox catholic family was strictly against any kind of birth control. It was quite apparent looking at his six children that Smith had not so much as even sniffed at a condom. The devout catholic that he was, it made him happy that no matter how much Jackie had strayed, she had not veered so much off course as to use birth control devices. He had not kept Jackie’s pregnancy a secret. In fact, he went around telling everyone that he will be a grandpa soon.

  I did not see Jackie among his kids seated outside the OR. The other five kids sat there in solemn silence. None of them spoke or acknowledged me. I put on my scrubs and went into the OR. Jackie was lying on the operating table. She looked like she was under general anesthesia. Smith and his wife stood in a corner. It was hard to recognize everyone inside since they were all in scrubs and masks. I thought the surgeon was Razak. But to my surprise it was O’Reily.

  I did not know what to do. I looked at Smith, said ‘Sorry’ and got ready to step out. He looked at me quizzically, seeming to ask the reason for my presence. I said, ‘Radhika is sick. We need you or Razak. There is a patient waiting upstairs.’ His face was fully covered except for the eyes. They suggested deep sorrow that could only come from grief and loss. It looked like they were pleading with me to understand his situation. I went near Smith and said, ‘Sorry, I can understand your situation. I’m not asking you to come. I will look for Razak. Do you need anything from me? Is everything alright?’ I had a hard time trying to get a handle on what was happening there. It was not even clear to me if the Smith family was ok with my presence there.

  Smith told me softly, ‘Jackie’s pregnancy did not last. We could not save Henry. Henry was sixteen weeks old. Since yesterday, Jackie has had a lot of bleeding. I was checking him by ultrasound every hour all day yesterday. Even at ten pm last night, I could see and hear strong heartbeats. I went to bed thinking that everything would be alright. Come morning, around six, I couldn’t hear any heartbeat. No movement on ultrasound. Henry had left us sometime in the middle of the night.’ Smith was overcome with grief.

  Jackie was four or five months pregnant. Unfortunately the pregnancy didn’t last. But if this was an incomplete miscarriage, she needed a D&C (dilatation and curettage). In fact, I thought that O’Reily was doing a D&C. And I didn’t really understand who this Henry was.

  Smith had remarked as if he had read my thoughts, ‘Henry cannot ascend to heaven if he does not have a proper funeral.’

  It had just occurred to me then, Henry was Jackie’s unborn child!

  In the next five minutes, the surgeon had taken out a tiny Henry, small enough to be held on the palm of my hand. Jackie was asleep. I still didn’t understand why O’Reilly is surgically taking out Henry with as much care as he would do if Henry were a living baby. There is really no difference between this procedure and a Cesarean section. The only difference being that the baby is neither living nor fully grown. The surgeon’s scalpel is the same, but the purposes are different. One seeks to give an opportunity to live, the other seeks to grant a dignified farewell.

  Henry was a sixteen-week-old fetus; no different in appearance than that of any species of birds or animals. Henry was laid down in a small bowl. Our surgeon O’Reilly gently examined Henry and handed a pair of scissors to the Smiths. Smith tried to cut at a place that O’Reilly pointed. I assumed that it was the ritual cutting of the umbilical cord.

  I stood there stunned, unable to speak. Smith and his wife were crying. O’Reilly stepped out and brought Smith’s other children inside. Henry was laid down in a beautiful Blackwood box as small as a jewelry box. Everyone stood holding hands around the box in a circle, closed their eyes, and started praying.

  Smith’s wife held onto my finger. I reckoned she may have mistaken me for someone else because our faces, hidden underneath our surgical masks, were not easily recognizable. I did not have the heart to withdraw my hand. Another finger on my other hand was held by his son. I too closed my eyes and said ‘Amen’.

  As we were coming out of the OR after five minutes, Jackie was slowly waking up. Smith said, ‘Vigil is on Saturday and funeral on Sunday. Please attend if possible.’

  I did not say anything.

  ‘Guru, children sometimes do things that may or may not be right. We were eagerly awaiting the arrival of a new member to our family. Jackie was also very excited. Our fortunes did not favor us. God took Henry away very quickly.’

  I said warily, ‘I came here looking for Razak or you. Couldn’t you get hold of Razak to do a D&C on Jackie? Was this surgery really necessary?’

  I had not completed my sentence yet. Smith said, ‘Guru, you did see for yourself, didn’t you? She didn’t have a real miscarriage. I had no other choice. The baby was alive till last night.’

 
I was in a quandary. ‘You could have waited for some more time and then got a D&C done?’

  ‘Guru, you are from India, right? I’m not aware of your beliefs. We believe that life begins as an embryo right after fertilization. In fact, it is wrong to call it an embryo. He has arms and legs like us, a heartbeat like us and has a life. When we come into this world, we should come as a whole and when we depart, we should leave as a whole.’

  What could I say? I could not think for a while having witnessed something that I had never seen before in my life and something that was beyond my wildest imagination. I had not seen such a small fetus even at medical school. This guy is a gynecologist. He believes this is the only way to get the baby out with no harm. And for what? For its last rites!

  Smith said, ‘Thanks.’

  I looked at him again.

  ‘As it is, losing our loved ones is a tragic affair. And on top of it, it is a sin if we don’t bid a proper adieu to those who pass. God’s anger will be upon us. Everybody deserves a proper goodbye. Thank you for providing this opportunity today. This surgery is off the record. I don’t want to get O’Reilly in trouble. Please understand my situation.’ He squeezed my hands and begged me.

  I freed my hands, went straight to my office and sat down. There was a message from Razak: ‘I got your message. There is no need for Radhika to come to the hospital. I’ve examined Amina. She will most likely have a normal delivery. Maybe today. Or it could be a false alarm. But I have to speak to you on a different topic.’ Even as I was trying to respond, he came knocking and barging into my office. He held my hand and said, ‘Guru, Smith is getting a Cesarean section done, I mean hysterotomy on his daughter.’ I was afraid that he noticed a smile on my face.

  ‘Why are you smiling? This is not a laughing matter. He is getting his daughter’s uterus cut and taking out a twelve-week-old baby. This is against the law.’

  ‘Smith said that the baby was sixteen to seventeen weeks old and there was heavy bleeding. Apparently, there was no other choice. One more thing, this surgery never happened as per hospital records.’

  ‘That is not true!’

  ‘Razak, these are all one’s beliefs. Smith believes that if he did not do it this way, god’s curse would be upon him. And he is also a physician.’

  ‘I’ve no words to express. On the one hand, we’ve to struggle with the Sanghaalis for doing Cesarean sections to save babies. And they question our competence and our integrity and at the end commit suicides because we cut their bellies to deliver their children. Here, a doctor himself does a ludicrous operation on his daughter to take out a ball of flesh, an embryo, a fetus that is long dead—to give it a proper funeral! Guru, what kind of medieval medicine are we practicing? Since when did religion, culture and god come in the way of medicine?’ He sat there brooding, with his head cupped in his hands.

  I was in no position to answer his questions. Seeing him, I got a sense that Rick Jackson had not yet spoken to him on Zeba’s Cesarean section. Just as I was starting to think about it, Radhika rammed the office door open and came inside. She stood right in front of me.

  ‘You sent police home to get me! How dare you? What do you think of yourself?’ Her eyes were glowing red and her voice was shaking.

  ‘Radhika, this is the regular procedure. It is in the hospital’s by-laws. I did not send the police to arrest you. They were sent to check if you are all right since you were not answering phone calls. In the hospital when doctors on call don’t answer their phones or beepers, we have followed this procedure. Haven’t we?’

  ‘I did respond to the beeper. Didn’t I? How much more clearly did I have to tell you that I have a bad headache?’

  ‘Radhika, be honest. Do you really have a headache or were you giving it as an excuse to duck out of doing Amina’s Cesarean section?’

  ‘Look, you might be my boss, but you can’t bully me. You have no authority to send the police to my house.’

  ‘Radhika, I’ve already told you that I asked them to check on you since you were not answering your phone. I have written so in the call roster as well. If you did answer calls, then you are missing work on purpose. That will be considered negligence and disciplinary action can be taken against you.’

  ‘Hello boss! Do whatever you want. I had anticipated something like this. I’m going to surrender my C-section privileges to the hospital. I was planning on discussing this with you, but I did not get a chance. Going forward, I’ll only do normal deliveries. I shall completely stop doing Cesarean sections. Never mind who the patient is—Amina, Rosie, Lilly, Maya or Zeba—I shall only do normal deliveries. Get me the whole Sanghaali community. I will tell them. You deliver normally, I’m your doctor. Do you need Cesarean section? Then find someone else. It’s rather I do no surgeries, and they commit no suicides.’

  She did not notice that she had mentioned Zeba’s name when she got carried away with her words. I looked at Razak. He did not say anything. I said to her, ‘Radhika, get a hold of yourself. Think calmly. You are the only lady doctor in this town. We simply do not have the luxury to pick and choose. In entire Amoka, you have the busiest OB practice. If you drop the ball here, what should people do? Where should they go in this small town? Besides, Razak examined Amina and said that she could have a normal delivery.’

  Razak nodded.

  ‘Let that be so. I’m happy. I’ll supervise it myself. But if there is no other lady doctor for future C-sections in this town, then that is not my problem. My only interest is to stay here somehow for another three years and leave. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a baby to deliver.’

  ‘Radhika, personally I don’t agree with you surrendering your privileges for C-section. I’ll be the first to veto that at the board meeting.’

  ‘Guru, please keep me out of this entire nuisance. I’m stressed to the point of my head exploding into a million pieces. This is already affecting my personal relationship with Giri. He is urging me to quit this job and join him. I cannot go there till I get my green card. I think of going back to India almost every day. Please, leave me alone. I do not want to be held responsible for more deaths.’

  Razak was bewildered. He said, ‘Radhika, though Zeba is my wife, she is your patient. We want you to deliver her baby. Don’t abandon us this way. Her only source of confidence is you being here.’

  She quickly understood that I had not told Razak about broadcasting Zeba’s Cesarean section live. She regained her composure and said, ‘Sorry Razak. Guru, it’s not so easy for me to quit this job. I’m sure both of you understand. But then, what can I do? These days whenever a pregnant woman comes to see me, my whole body starts shivering. Can you imagine the irony here? An OBGYN afraid of pregnant women! It’s like a surgeon with hemophobia. See what these events have done to me. I’m constantly under a fear psychosis of making a grave error. How can I work in such a state of mind?’

  I suspected that this maybe what Kuki was alluding to. It was anybody’s guess on how many doctors in Minnesota, like Radhika, were traumatized. They are just trying to do what in their informed professional opinion is the right thing for their patients.

  Who stands to gain by all this?

  Is it possible for a spark like this in a non-decrepit town like Amoka to spread like wildfire everywhere?

  Duniya calls this a rebellion. Mohammad, a war. And according to Kuki, this is jihad. Whatever may be the name, the fact that all of us were in Amoka, could make us living witnesses to this emerging phenomenon. Was that good or bad? Honestly, I had no idea.

  Left with no options I whispered in Radhika’s ears just loud enough only for her to hear. ‘Radhika, if you need to take some time to think this over, do so. Please rethink your decision, at least for Zeba’s sake, for Razak’s sake.’

  ‘My god, are you guys blackmailing me? Let us think about it when Zeba’s delivery date is close.’

  I told Razak, ‘Make yourself free when possible. I need to talk to you about Zeba’s delivery.’ We were at a point when I ha
d to talk to Razak about Zeba’s delivery. While Rick Jackson had mentioned that he would convince Razak and Zeba, I strongly believed that I had to be there at least as his comrade-in-arms.

  Zeba was not due for her delivery for a while. Yet, it was important to convince these two as soon as possible. Saanvi had taken the responsibility to bring the hospital board and the TV channels on board. I was confident that when even something as grotesque as a live murder is being telecast on TV these days, getting permission to broadcast a live childbirth by Cesarean section should not be that difficult.

  Razak’s beeper rang. He looked at Radhika and said, ‘Amina is ready.’

  Radhika replied, ‘Razak, I am warning you, if she needs a Cesarean section, you are it. I’ll scrub out and walk out of the OR,’ and went inside.

  I felt that she really meant it.

  19. A New Dawn

  I received a message from Razak. Amina had a normal delivery just as Razak had predicted. Radhika who didn’t even want to come to the hospital had delivered the baby. I reckoned that everything happens for a good reason.

  Hassan was sitting outside. I tried to engage him in a casual conversation, ‘How are you doing?’

  He looked at me and smiled. He seemed somewhat pale and weak since the last time I had met him.

  ‘How are the children doing? Who’s taking care of them now?’ It was a little too late when I realized that I should not have asked this question.

  ‘Amina has to take care of them, doctor.’

  ‘Does she have any children of her own? ’

  ‘This is her first.’ His voice was weakened to the point where it sounded like a feeble cry from the bottom of a well. The fire in his eyes was conspicuously missing.