The door opened, and Alex was still unprepared for the sight of Anna. In the morning light, her pale-blue eyes and golden blonde hair made her look like an angel.
“Good morning,” he said to the look of surprise on her face. “I have come bearing gifts and to take Lucy for her promised ride.”
“Good morning, Your Grace,” Anna said formally as she dropped a curtsy. “I regret that Lucy is not yet awake.” She wrung her hands in a threadbare apron.
“I thought all children woke with the dawn,” he replied. “My son always did.” It was hard to hide the pain from his face. He did not need a mirror to feel his features contort with the anguish he felt.
“Does he no longer do so?” Anna asked.
“My wife and son were killed in Canada.”
“Forgive me, I did not know.” She paused awkwardly. “Do you wish to come in and wait for Lucy? I will wake her.”
Alex followed her into the small cottage. It was one large room, with the kitchen to one side and a sofa in front of a hearth at the other. A staircase divided the two areas. “Where shall I put this?”
“Is it for us?” she asked in confusion.
“Mrs. Milton sent it. She has prepared one for all the tenant families.”
“That is very kind of her, as I do not believe the tenants are prospering under the new Lord Lynley.”
He had expected her to reject his offering, but she was engaged in clearing her sewing from the table.
“You may place it there. I appreciate your kindness, much though I wish I could reject it. Lucy will be delighted.”
“Every person deserves a special Christmas,” Alex said quietly.
A tear escaped Anna’s eye and she quickly turned around. Alex felt the urge to take her in his arms, but he had no right.
“Will you have a seat, Your Grace?” She set a kettle on the trivet and pushed it over the fire. “I shall make you some tea and then I will have Lucy make ready for your ride.”
Alex went to sit in a plain wooden chair. It creaked under his weight and he felt like Gulliver, the giant amongst the Lilliputians, in this tiny cottage. Noticing there was no wood left with which to build up the fire, he went out to fetch some, but there was none cut outside. Frowning, he took the ax from beside the back door and, consumed with anger, stamped off into the woods. Were all poor widows treated thus? He thought perhaps many were. He would see to it that his tenants, at least, had fuel to warm their houses if there was no capable man to help them cut wood. Soon, he was heated from the exertion and stripped off his coat. He found the action of swinging the ax a balm for his anger. At this rate, they would have enough wood for the rest of the winter!
I wish he would leave, Anna thought as she went up the narrow staircase to the small room she and Lucy shared. Alex’s large presence filled the cottage and she was suffocating with painful memories and feelings she believed she had put behind her. He will not be here long, she reassured herself as she sat on the bed and leaned over to kiss Lucy on the forehead.
The little girl smiled with her eyes closed. “Good morning, Mama.”
“Good morning, my sleepy angel. The duke has come to take you for a ride and has brought us Christmas treats.”
Bright, little blue eyes popped open. Lucy sat up quickly, her mop of blonde curls in disarray.
“Help me to dress, please, Mama!”
Anna felt bittersweet, and she wanted to both laugh and cry. She took Lucy’s warmest wool dress and helped her into it. It had been a lovely dress when it was made, but she was growing fast and it was now too short by several inches. Hopefully, His Grace would not notice.
Anna handed Lucy the brush and began to massage Lucy’s tight leg as she did every morning.
“Hurry, Mama! I do not wish to keep His Grace waiting!”
“You know we must, my dear.” When she had finished, she put Lucy’s darned stockings and boots on for her and then carried her down the stairs, but Alex was nowhere to be found.
“Did he tire of waiting and leave, Mama?” Lucy asked in a disappointed voice.
Anna set her daughter down before the table and looked out of the window. “No, the curricle is still here.”
“A curricle? Does that mean he did not bring Midnight?” Lucy did not mask the sadness from her voice.
“Do you see the large basket?” Anna asked. “How could he have brought that on a single horse? Besides, it is lovely to ride in a curricle.” She tried to hide the longing from her voice. Alex used to tool her around the countryside, showing off his prowess with the ribbons.
“I suppose so.”
Anna sliced a piece of bread for Lucy and found some plum jam in the basket.
“My favorite!” Lucy exclaimed with delight, and the duke seemed to be forgiven for the moment.
Anna looked out of the back window and saw Alex chopping wood in the copse behind the cottage. It was hard not to break down and cry in that very moment. They needed these blessings so very badly, but she could not have predicted they would come from him.
She could still see the raw, masculine beauty that was Alex, despite the change in him. He had been a beautiful and lithe boy, but now he had filled out fully into a man, possessing a hint of underlying danger that was frighteningly attractive. His hair was overly long, although neither it nor his beard diminished his appeal. There was something about watching a man chop wood that fascinated her. As he lifted the ax and brought it down, a log split in two, and he wiped his brow before picking up the wood and walking towards her to place it on the pile. He was walking towards her! She hurried to move away, but he saw her staring.
Stepping towards the door, she opened it. He was standing there watching her with some emotion—was it longing or was it pain? They were both vulnerable, and she was not prepared to deal with his return. She forced herself to find her voice.
“Lucy is awake and ready, Your Grace.” She looked at the large pile of wood he had cut in the short time she had been upstairs. “Thank you,” she whispered unsteadily.
“It was my pleasure. Believe it or not, chopping wood can be therapeutic.” Their eyes met, and she saw a hint of the old Alex’s devilish charm and a half smile. Her heart lurched, but she looked away. She could not bear to open herself to his rejection again.
He gathered his coat and began to roll down his shirt-sleeves to make himself presentable again. It was hard to avert her eyes from his bare, sinewy arms. She swallowed hard and scolded herself. He greeted Lucy and struck up a conversation with her as if there were nothing extraordinary about him being there with them, while she herself felt as though her world had been turned upside down.
“Will you not come too, Mama?” Lucy asked, causing Anna to start.
“I beg your pardon?” She forced herself to hear what her daughter was saying.
“His Grace brought his curricle so all of us may go. We would not all fit upon Midnight, but you may join us. Isn’t that grand?”
“I must finish this gown for Mrs. Tate,” Anna remarked, feeling her cheeks warm although she did not meet Alex’s eyes. She could hardly hide their reduced circumstances. “Besides, His Grace came for you, Lucy.”
He was watching her, she could feel it. Her eyes strayed to his despite her mind telling them to behave.
“You work too hard, Mama,” Lucy said into the silence as Alex caught and held Anna’s gaze. “You deserve a treat, too.”
“I agree with Lucy. You must come with us.”
“See, Mama? You cannot refuse a duke.”
Anna found herself being draped in her cloak and ushered out to the conveyance. He handed Lucy up first and then she felt him close behind her. He was going to touch her. She could sense him hesitate. Was this situation affecting him the same way? Or was he merely remembering what they had had before? How could a simple hand on her back heat her whole person? But it did. She tried not to hesitate as she put her hand in his.
Quickly, she climbed up and released him. Thank God Lucy was in between them
or, Anna reflected, she was likely to melt into a puddle of nerves on the spot.
Alex unhooked the reins from the post and climbed in. She watched as he managed the ribbons and even allowed Lucy to hold them with him. It was too much, too fast.
Thankfully, he drove away from the village. She had not considered how their being seen together would cause gossip, and it would. The new baron would use it against her.
They drove back to the gates of Hartmere. “I thought we would tour the estate, if you do not mind. When we reach the open fields, I will let you have a turn with the ribbons.”
Lucy beamed up at him.
“I had a son about your age and he loved to drive.”
“Did you lose your son?” Lucy asked.
“I did. I miss him very much.” Alex answered with commendable calm.
“I lost my papa. I miss him, too.”
Anna swallowed the lump in her throat and looked out over the rolling hills and expanses of forest while Alex chatted with Lucy and taught her to drive. Perhaps Anna needed to find another husband who could be a father to Lucy, but she did not know if she could marry again. Jeffrey had been kind and patient with her, but he was so much older that she had seen him more as a father than a lover.
Lucy was allowed her turn, although Alex was watchful, prepared to assist at any moment. Her daughter concentrated fiercely, receiving praise from the duke. As they reached the gates of Hartmere and the road was drawing to a close, Anna knew she could not do this again. When they arrived at the cottage, she was quicker this time and climbed down before Alex could reach her. He brought Lucy to her side.
“Go on inside and wash your hands so you may help me with the baking,” Anna said to her daughter.
“Thank you for the drive and for the wood and for the basket, Your Grace,” Lucy said, the words bubbling forth as she bobbed a curtsy.
“It was my pleasure,” he answered.
“Indeed, we thank you for the gifts and the excursion,” Anna affirmed.
Alex inclined his head, yet did not look at her for they both turned as a grand carriage rolled by. It drove a little past and then stopped. A face appeared in the window and a hand gave a wave.
“Why, ’tis Isabella and her new husband, Edmund,” Alex remarked. “Come,” he said, taking her hand and drawing her to the carriage. Isabella had once been Anna’s dear friend and then she had heard nothing of Alex’s sister for almost two years. It was as though she had disappeared. Anna did not think she could stomach any more surprises now, but it would be rude not to greet them.
“Anna!” Isabella exclaimed as she alighted and greeted her. “It has been so long. A great deal has happened, you must have heard.” She looked around, as though just realizing this was Anna’s home.
“It would seem we all have a great deal to discuss,” the duke said. “Would you care to join us at Hartmere for dinner? Lucy is welcome, of course.”
Anna opened her mouth to refuse. She could hardly revert to being a grand lady in a couple of hours.
“I do not think that is wise, although I appreciate the offer, Your Grace.” She turned to Isabella. “It was lovely to see you again. Good day.” Dipping a curtsy, she took Lucy’s hand and walked away.
Chapter Three
Alex watched Anna leave and could have cursed Isabella’s and Edmund’s timing, however happy he was to see them.
“What has happened, Alex? Why does Anna live here?
“She is now widowed and, according to Mrs. Milton, did not wish to entertain the attentions of the new baron,” he answered quietly.
“Oh… oh.” She frowned with understanding. “Should I go and speak with her? Perhaps she does not know of my troubles; perhaps she thinks I abandoned her. She seemed a little cool, as if disaffected in some way…”
“Maybe she was embarrassed,” Edmund, his brother-in-law, put in quietly from the traveling chariot behind her.
“Yes, that must be it… but what are you doing here, Alex?” Isabella’s shrewd gaze narrowed on him.
“I was delivering a Christmas basket and taking her daughter for a drive. I befriended Lucy in the village, before I knew whose child she was.”
“I wish she would come to dinner,” Isabella said, looking towards the small cottage.
“Let it rest for now. Perhaps she will change her mind. I will send over a carriage and a note later this afternoon.”
“Have you not considered she may not possess a gown suitable for the occasion?” Edmund’s calm insight spoke volumes for his compassion and vicarial calling. A small silence fell between the siblings as they absorbed this possibility.
Once back in his study, Alex sat at his desk, poring over what he should say. There was nothing really to compel her to come, he thought as he stared at the blank sheet, especially if Edmund were correct. He realized he still cared for Anna, but he did not wish to act on such feelings yet, not when he was uncertain what was best to do. If he paid her marked attention, then it was as good as a declaration or her reputation would be in shreds. Small villages had long memories and he could not toy with her affections after their past… he put the pen back in the standish and decided he would have Isabella write the letter. He had already been more forward than he ought.
“May I help?” Edmund asked from the open doorway. At his side stood the little boy, Johnny, who had played a part in rescuing Isabella from a terrible fate. Edmund and Isabella had recently adopted him. “Mrs. Milton said she was bringing a tea tray in for us. We can go elsewhere if you wish.”
“Not at all. Please join me,” Alex said, grateful for a break from his task. “I was trying to pen a letter to Lady Lynley to convince her and Lucy to come to dinner.”
“Who is Lucy?” Johnny asked with interest.
“A young lady, perhaps a few years younger than yourself.”
Johnny frowned, as though that was not very interesting.
“She loves horses, and to ride, but after her father died, they could not afford to keep them any longer. She also has a lame leg and very likely could use a friend.”
“I could be her friend and show her all about horses.” Johnny beamed.
“Perhaps you would like to invite her here to see them?” Alex asked, exchanging a mischievous look with Edmund. “Do you know how to write a proper letter?”
“Yes, sir! Papa has been teaching me.” Alex rose and moved from his chair, indicating Johnny should take his place. “I will add a note to yours when you are finished.”
Johnny bit his lower lip and set to his task. Alex watched over his shoulder for a moment.
Dear…
“How do you spell Lucy, sir?”
“Miss Lynley would be the proper address. L-y-n-l-e-y.”
Alex left him to his task and sat next to Edmund as Milton brought in a tea tray and set it before them on a side-table.
“I take it there is some history between you and Lady Lynley?” Edmund enquired. “Isabella implied as much.”
“Yes. I was very foolish and made promises that my father would not allow me to keep. I fear I hurt her very badly, but perhaps I make too much of what was between us—of myself.”
“Perhaps you are merely expressing your own feelings.”
Alex gave Edmund a wry look. “I think I am being treated to more vicarial wisdom. Are you certain you do not wish to return to a parish?”
Edmund smiled. “For now, I am content, but I will not apologize for making helpful observations.”
“I will not deny I still feel affection for Anna, but I do not know if I can offer her what she deserves.”
“Because you loved your wife and child?”
“My marriage was not a love-match, but I tried to be a good husband. In answer to your question… because I am no longer a peaceful, happy man.”
“It does not mean you are doomed to bitterness. You cannot let it consume you, Alex.”
“I will do my duty, but how can I find pleasure in it?” he asked, hoping Edmund would have an answer
.
“Perhaps, with the right person at your side, everything would be easier.”
“Perhaps,” Alex said, afraid to imagine it, to hope. “Do you think she could forgive me? I jump ahead of myself. She might not even feel as I do.” He shook his head.
“Are you asking for my opinion?” Crinkles formed around Edmund’s eyes in amusement.
“I assumed you would give it anyway, in the name of honest observation,” Alex retorted.
“The lady is not indifferent.”
Johnny ran over with his letter before Alex could contemplate what Edmund’s words meant.
He handed the paper to Edmund.
Dear Miss Lynley,
My name is Johnny Knight, and I am visiting my uncle at Hartmere.
“That is correct, is it not?” The little boy asked, trying hard to speak properly.
“Yes, it is.” Alex smiled and squeezed the boy’s shoulder.
I would be pleased if you would come to visit me so we may ride horses together. Oh, and would you and your mama stay for dinner?
Johnny
“I think you did very well, son,” Edmund said.
“May we deliver it in person, sir?” Johnny asked Edmund.
“I do not mind if the duke does not. It is beginning to snow, however.”
Johnny ran over to the window with all of the excitement Joshua had displayed whenever it had snowed in Canada. It snowed for the greater part of six months every year there, but it was rarer in England.
“I have never seen snow before!” Johnny said in wonder. “Please say we may go out,” he pleaded to Alex.
How could he resist? He, too, had always loved snow as a child. In fact, during that Twelfth Night Ball, he and Anna had danced in the snow under the stars.
“I will order the carriage,” Alex said, walking to the door to inform Milton. “Run along and get your coat and proper boots.”
“Yes, sir!” Johnny replied, running off down the hall before the words had barely left his mouth.
O Night Divine: A Holiday Collection of Spirited Christmas Tales Page 55