Out of the Stars (Into the Stars Book 2)

by Gwendolyn Field

  “I knew you were going to be trouble.” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “The minute I saw you here on Mars I knew.”

  I put my arms up and move my body to the music. “I don’t see what trouble you’re talking about. There’s no trouble here, Mr. Rawko. Just a woman dancing and a man drinking.”

  “That, exactly, is the trouble, little Lexon. And you damn well know it.”

  Hearing my nickname again delights me and causes my hips and body to move even more sensually. I laugh at his frown. “Stop overthinking this. Can’t you just pretend I’m a Mars girl and relax?”

  “I can’t pretend you’re anyone but you.”

  “And who am I to you?” I ask, still moving. “Your Captain’s annoying little sister?”

  “No. A beautiful Carolina girl with a light inside that burns so bright it hurts my eyes to look at her.”

  I stop, my arms lowering, a blast of heat razing every inch of me. “You really shouldn’t say things like that unless you want me to start taking off my clothes.”

  We’re two feet away, but the way he looks at me makes me feel like he’s on me, skin-to-skin. His eyes go so deep. My buzz pounds through me.

  “What do you want from me, Lanna?”

  So, so many things. But first and foremost… “I want you to live.”

  “Why?”

  “So you can write your name on me and make me yours.”

  His laugh is caustic, without a smile. “I’m a Hornet. You of all people should know what kind of life that is.”

  “I do know.”

  He turns away from me and snatches up the bottle, his chest heaving. He stares at the wall and takes two more huge pulls from the bottle. “I can’t give you that.”

  I gently take the bottle from him and set it down, walking around him so I can look up at his face. My hands go to his cheeks, slightly rough against my palms, and I lean his face down.

  “Tell me what happened on that mission, Hans. Just you and me. You’re safe.”

  His face turns to stone, and he takes my wrists, pulling them down. Then he steps back. With a slow nod, he stares at my face and a cold chill passes over me.

  “All right. I’ll tell you. Maybe that’s what I should have done in the very beginning—told you how I got my best friend killed—then you’d stop with the fucking puppy love bullshit.”

  I steel myself against his harsh words, not letting them penetrate my heart. Those words are his armor. His stare is meant to scare me. In fact, his entire demeanor seems to have gone into battle mode, and I’m wishing I’d had one less drink because I’m unsteady under that deadly gaze, unable to speak. Turns out, I don’t need to say a word, because Hans cracks open like a dam, each word a punishing dagger meant to blame and hurt.

  “Me and Dev were first off on Clyvorn. We took the right side of the main building. I had the front, he took the rear.” For a second he breaks off and shakes his head, a weird laugh escaping him like he’s just told an inside joke. He rubs his face and keeps going. “We came up to a window and it was my job to secure it.” He sniffs hard and pushes himself. “I wasn’t expecting…there were fucking alien woman inside the room—Clyvorn women—buck naked, rubbing each other and shit.”

  Clyvorn females? I try to remember what I’ve learned. “Don’t they have—”

  “Four tits. Yeah.” He lets out a dry laugh again. “And instead of realizing it might be some sort of trap to distract, my ass says, ‘Holy shit, Dev, look at this.’ And that’s all it took. He took his eyes off the rear for half a second to look and I heard the pop, pop. Then he was falling against me, holding his neck.” His voice cracks on the last word and I can’t help the tears that start to fall down my own face.

  “I couldn’t even tend to him because I saw the dude who shot him at the rear of the building about to fire at me. I dropped and shot him in the leg. Then I ran over and sliced his throat. When I yanked off his fucking helmet…” God, Hans’s eyes. He’s so broken remembering this. He takes a huffing breath. “It was a woman. An older woman…and all I could think about was my oldest sister and her kids. This fucking alien woman died in my arms and even though I should have hated her for shooting Dev, all I wanted to do was give her her life back. And then I dragged my ass over to Devlar and called in a comm. He—” Hans wipes his eyes hard. “He grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let me go. He said, ‘It’s been a good ride, brother.’ And that’s all he got out before he choked on his own blood. All because I couldn’t look away from some tits.”

  Hans is breathing hard, as if reliving the moment. His entire body trembles. I have no words. Anything I say right now would be worthless. I wrap my arms around him and press my face to his chest. His face goes to my hair and I hear him swallowing over and over. He won’t let himself cry, though he’s on the verge.

  “How can you even…” He swallows again. “I still dream about her eyes.”

  “Of course you do,” I whisper. “But Hans, if you hadn’t killed her, she would have killed you. Woman or not.”

  Hans pushes away from me, taking a deep breath. “I can’t do this.”

  I reach for him, but he snags my wrist to stop me.

  “I mean it this time. Go.”

  We lock eyes and I see that he means it. I swallow down my emotion and give him a nod.

  But when I get to the doorway I turn to face him.

  “You’re not doing Devlar any favors if you die too. Do you think that’s what he would want? What would he say to you if he were here right now?”

  His chiseled face hardens further, but I don’t wait around for him to tell me off. I turn and go. I wait to cry until I get to the elevator. By the time I get to the bottom I’m wiping my eyes, pulling myself together. I’m about to step off when the door to the stairway bursts open, making me scream. Hans runs from the stairs to the elevator, grabbing the doorway with both hands as he leans in, breathing hard.

  Holy shit. What is he doing? The desperation in his eyes breaks me and molds me. I want to reach out for him, but I know he’s run down all those stairs to say something else to me, so I need to shut up and listen.

  “If Dev could see me right now,” he says, sucking in a deep breath. “He would say, ‘You stupid motherfucker. Don’t let her go.’”

  My chin quivers as Hans backs me into the elevator and kisses me hard. Just like our first kiss, our hands are everywhere, pulling, and our bodies are pressed against one another as tightly as we can manage. Both of us are moving desperately. Hans manages to reach over and press his floor number. We stumble out onto his hall when the doors open, and if anyone else is nearby we don’t notice. He kisses me as we stagger along, stopping to pin my arms over my head and devour my neck against the hall wall. My knees nearly go out.

  “Your room,” I breathe.

  We finally get inside, and I yank his shirt up, moaning at the sight of his skin and the muscles that ripple underneath. My back hits the wall as he kisses me and I reach down for his pants. It’s a little hard to get to the button and zipper when he’s rubbing against me, but I manage. When I slide my hand down into his pants he lets out a small growl and bends so his mouth is near my ear.

  I wrap my hand around his cock and a shiver rocks him, making me smile with feminine pride. Then I nearly orgasm when he whispers, “Fuck, Lanna” and moves inside of my hand. I let him go and push against his taut abs with my palms. Hans falls back into a seated position at the edge of his bed, watching me as I undress.

  I don’t even bother trying to do a sexy strip tease. I can’t get naked fast enough. And once I’m bare, I can’t get enough of the way his wide blue eyes walk up and down my skin, browsing every curve and angle like he’s learning me and sketching it to memory. I go to my knees and he groans when I take his girth in my hand again.

  He whispers my name and his fingers dive into my hair as I wrap my lips around him. We both moan as his thick heat fills my mouth, pressing the back of my throat. It’s even more intimate than sex, to be in
this position, to feel him holding me by the hair, the firm pull against my scalp, and to know this strong Hornet is being as gentle as possible.

  When I get a little carried away and move my head too fast, he pushes me off, lifting me and dropping me onto the bed with a bounce. Those blue eyes watch me as his jeans drop to the floor, and oh, dear God. He is hot. Each inch of him. I feel bad for every man who isn’t Hans Rawko. And every woman who isn’t me. My heart is thumping so hard. I can feel my pulse between my legs and I’m breathing as if I was the one who ran all those flights of stairs. I’ve never, ever wanted someone this bad.

  He climbs onto the bed and I open my knees to welcome him. There have been times when I felt shy or embarrassed with a lover. There is none of that right now. I would do anything with this man—for this man—without condition. Every ounce of inhibition has abandoned me. He’s on his knees between my legs, looking down at my folds and his nostrils flare.

  I feel a moment of panic. “You better not be having second thoughts.”

  He leans over me, our faces an inch apart. “The building could be burning down around us, and I don’t think I could fucking stop now.”

  “Oh, thank God.” I take his hips and raise my own to align us. His lips hover against mine as he slides hotly into me, stretching me, and I gasp against his mouth. He stops, deep inside of me and closes his eyes, pressing his forehead to mine.

  “I knew you would feel this good. I’m afraid to move.”

  Meanwhile, I can’t be still. My hips are circling and my ass is clenching, and I’m so greedy for what’s to come. “Please move.”

  The chuckle from deep in his throat makes a laugh escape me. And then he’s moving, pumping his strong hips, thrusting his thick cock into me with resounding slaps. I’m so close. So fucking close. I need him all the way against me.

  I push his chest, confusing him for a second, until I shove him over and he flops onto his back with a look of surprise. I straddle him, sliding straight down onto his cock and making his back arch. I grind, my body taking over. My clit rubs him, every sensation of hard against soft pressing until my nerve endings alight.

  Hans cups my breasts and squeezes as I come apart, shouting with each wave of pleasure that shoots through my core and across my body. When I finally finish and open my lazy eyes, my whole body relaxing, Hans is watching me with those big blue eyes.

  His voice is rough. “That was so fucking hot.” His dick twitches deep inside me, still hard as a rock and I gasp, realizing I could totally come again. I’ve never had more than one orgasm during sex.

  Hans flips us, managing to stay inside me, and begins to rock his hips.

  “Oh, shit,” I whisper. He’s pulling out just enough to slap back against me, then curving his hips upward to rub my g-spot. I grab his ass and hang on as he fucks me and I murmur crazy dirty things that I can’t stop from spilling out.

  He bares his straight, white teeth and lets out a sexy yell as he pounds me, making my head fly back. My core detonates in a flurry of sensation and my vision goes white. We’re both holding on tight, breathing, groaning, slick with sweat, and then he shoves deep and stays there, pulsing inside of me as I moan, my core quivering around him in wave after wave.

  Hans’s mouth finds mine and he gives me the sweetest kiss. We catch our breath together, kissing and kissing and kissing. In that moment it’s impossible to believe that everything’s not perfect.

  “I want to do it again,” I say with a breathy laugh.

  It’s not until he rolls off me and stares up at the ceiling with an arm flung over his forehead that I start to worry. He’s thinking again. I’m not foolish enough to think one breakthrough conversation and a night of great sex is going to fix his heart. This will be a lifetime struggle. I just need him to make it through this mission.

  When I put a hand on his chest, he all but jumps out of the bed. I stare at the giant eagle tattooed across his back, Earth’s Army emblem, marveling at how its wings seem to move under this shoulder blades. My heart clatters in my ribs as he yanks on his pants without any underwear and pulls a shirt over his head.

  “Hans—”

  “You got what you wanted,” he says roughly. “Now you can go.”

  My mouth flops open as all of my joy and hope sours.

  “Don’t be like that, please.” I feel so stupid. Naked in more ways than one. He picks up my clothes and tosses them onto the bed after me.

  “I’m going on a walk. When I come back, if you’re still here I’ll find a hotel.”

  Moisture springs to my eyes. He’s losing it.

  “Hans, wait!” I fumble to get out of the bed, the sheets caught around my foot, but it’s too late. He’s gone and the door is closing.

  I’m shaking all over as I get dressed. What have I done? I made him drink. Then got him to spill his guts and screw me. All things he’d promised he wouldn’t do. I made him go against his own self. Now I’m filled with guilt, questioning everything I’d said and done. Was this for me or for him?

  No, I can’t think like that. It was for both of us, honestly. Everything I’ve done.

  I swipe under my eyes and press the keyboard function on his wall panel so I can type.

  For the record, I didn’t get what I wanted: your heart, and a promise that you’ll do whatever it takes to come home. But I won’t bother you anymore before you leave. You have enough to wrestle with. I will tell you, however, that I meant everything I ever said. I love you. It’s not a phase. And it’s not puppy love. I will still love you after this mission. Come to Carolina and I will prove it. ~Lanna Amanda Lexon

  P.S. Remember, real men take their meds.

  I press a hand to the panel, then touch the “erase handprint” option to get rid of my virtual key to his room. I won’t be coming back.

  When I get outside into the darkness to wait for a hover, I see Hans’s blond head down the street, leaning against a building corner with his arms crossed, watching me. Even from afar, there’s a pull, an undeniable lure, begging me to go to him. He had to feel what I felt in his bedroom. It was more than just sex. Or was that my own wishful thinking? I force myself to look away and climb into the hover.

  It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  I go to Sky Club the next night for the Hornet’s send off. Of course I go; how can I not? And of course I plaster on my fake smile for everyone. And of course I’m on guard waiting for Hans to show the whole time…which he never does. With every passing minute my hope turns to dread. It takes every ounce of self-control for me not to go back on my promise to leave him alone. I want to go to his apartment and sit on the floor to wait for him all night if I have to.

  But I won’t.

  The other Hornets seem uncharacteristically somber.

  I’m arm-to-arm with Tripoli in the crowded space. None of them are drinking. “Are you guys always this serious the night before a mission?”

  His mouth pulls to the side and makes a smacking sound. “Um, yes and no. This one feels different. Losing two men, getting two new dudes…and Rawk not acting like his normal asshat self. Doesn’t feel right, you know?”

  I nod and swallow. “How was he today?”

  “Didn’t say a word. Fought like the devil, but never spoke. I think that’s the weirdest part of all. If anyone runs their mouth and talks shit, it’s Rawk. To have him be quiet is fucking scary.” Trip takes a sip of his drink, giving a nod to a woman who passes, her eyes lingering. It makes me wonder something.

  “Are you guys going to have a Nevesta on the ship?”

  His eyes widen at me in surprise, and then he looks away, shrugging. “I don’t know.”

  He’s so lying. They’re having a Nevesta. And that simple fact does me in for the night. I want to cry and puke and scream and rail against the whole galaxy at the thought of Rawko having meaningless romps with some Mars girl on his ship. Fuck Mars.

  “I’m gonna go,” I say, giving him a hug.

&nbs
p; “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” I force a smile. “To the stars, Trip. Take care.”

  “You too, babe. Everything will be fine. We’ll keep an eye on him. And your big ass brother, too.”

  My laugh sounds a little choked as I pull away and say good-bye to the other men.

  “Heading to the room?” Russell asks.

  “Yep.”

  “Well, I got Rees and I a room to ourselves tonight overlooking the Marla.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Wow, you’re such a tourist!” The Marla is Mars’s manmade river that runs along the zoo. More of a stream, but there are several high-end buildings where rich tourists can rent rooms with a view. Russell rolls his eyes. I’m about to hug him good-bye when I realize this will be the last time I see him before their mission, and possibly for two years.

  “I need to tell you what Rawk told me last night.” I’m torn. Part of me feels like I’m betraying Hans, but he’s sick, and I know my brother will be discreet. I quickly tell him what Hans told me about the moment when Devlar was killed. Russell’s mouth pinches. “And honestly,” I say. “I feel like he was just as upset, if not moreso, about the woman he killed in hand-to-hand, looking her in the eyes. It haunts him.”

  My brother pinches the skin between his eyes. “This changes things. We let the Clyvorn women in the warehouse go because we thought they were prisoners. Now I’m thinking that was a mistake.” He rubs his face. “Thank you, Lan.”

  We hug each other and I whisper, “I love him.”

  Russell stills, then squeezes me harder. “I know. That’s exactly what he was afraid of.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll watch out for him.”