by Dani René
“Right, we have quite the cocktail, honey. Once I give this to you, you can go read or do something that isn’t stressful for your body,” Lizzie said coming over with a cup of tablets and water first. Molly took the pills and then Lizzie brought over some sort of thick syrup that tasted awful. Molly spluttered slightly and felt nauseous even after she had swallowed. Finally, Lizzie approached her with a needle and Molly stood up, turning around without a word and pulling her pants down to expose her butt cheek. The injection burned and Molly hissed softly, but she didn’t pull away, and once Lizzie was done, she pulled up her pants, the sweat now dripping off her body.
“You can just lay down,” Lizzie said. “I can tell the orderlies.”
“No, it’s okay,” Molly said softly. “I’ll go read a bit and see how I feel in an hour.”
“Okay, your call,” Lizzie packed away her paraphernalia and pushed her trolley out to go treat the rest of her patients. Molly waited for the orderly, and once he was there, they walked in silence towards the recreation room she had been in earlier. She hunted down the book she had been reading and once she retrieved it, she curled up on the sofa and began to read.
Slowly the world grew dark around her…
Moving was hard, Molly felt sluggish and unable to move her body. She couldn’t remember what happened. She had been reading, but what had she been reading? She couldn’t remember anything before that and her body ached, ached in a strange way that she couldn’t explain. She felt sweaty and tried to raise her hand to wipe her brow, but her hand wouldn’t cooperate.
Not wouldn’t, but couldn’t, she couldn’t raise it higher than a few millimeters because something was stopping her. She tried to open her eyes, but they felt so heavy.
“It’s okay, Molly, don’t try to move. You had an episode.” She recognized her sister’s sweet voice and wanted to respond, but her tongue was thick and her lips wouldn’t move. Molly felt ill, as though she wanted to throw up, but at the same time she felt as though there was nothing to expel. Hadn’t she eaten? How long had she been down? And what kind of episode was Lizzie talking about?
The thoughts came faster the more awake she became, and her eyes finally fluttered and opened to see she was in her room, on her bed. She tried to raise her hand again and this time felt the restraint that kept her in place. She tried to lift her other arm and it was also restrained. She felt a panic building up deep inside of her as she felt her feet were restrained. She moaned softly and saw Lizzie move into her line of sight, her twin placing a calming hand on her forehead and whispering, “Shhh, it’s okay. Just try to stay calm and I will explain everything.”
Molly breathed deeply and tried to calm her racing heart, opening and closing her mouth slowly and licking her lips. “Lizzie,” she gasped out after a moment.
“Yes, it’s me, Molly. I’m here,” her sister soothed her. “And you’re fine, you’re safe. You just had a bit of a mental break.”
“What? How?” Molly slurred the words out.
“We’re not sure; Dr. Manning is going to run some more tests on you but for now, you’re being restrained for your, and other peoples, safety.”
“I…I don’t hurt…people.” Molly felt the tears forming in her eyes and Lizzie gently wiped them away.
“I know, honey, remember this isn’t your fault. You’re sick, Molly, you’re sick and I am going to make you better.”
Molly nodded slowly, trying her best to control her breathing as she said quietly, slowly, “I’m fine now…I won’t hurt anyone.”
“We can’t promise you won’t have another episode if I undo those restraints. It’s not forever, little bug, just for a little bit while you get your bearings.”
“Okay,” Molly agreed quietly, looking up at the ceiling to wish away the rest of the tears. Lizzie stroking her head gently didn’t make it any better. Lizzie moved away from her and Molly’s head jerked to see where she was going. Feeling a bit clearer headed, Molly tried to raise her head off the pillow and managed to see Lizzie going to a trolley that was sitting in the corner of the room. She rummaged around through the medicine containers and pulled out a small bottle of liquid and a syringe. Molly lowered her head, her neck growing sore from the angle she had been holding it at, and waited for Lizzie to come give her the shot.
Lizzie came back over and pulled up Molly’s shirt sleeve to expose her arm. “This may sting,” she warned as she pushed the needle into Molly’s arm. There was a slow burning sensation as Lizzie injected the liquid into Molly’s body, and Molly looked away, trying not to hiss in pain.
The pain abated and Molly turned to see Lizzie going to dispose of the needle. She looked really beautiful, in her nurses’ uniform, standing by the trolley and tidying everything. Yet, a shadow was growing dark behind her. Molly’s eyes widened as she saw the shadow become a thick, solid black mass with a giant mouth full of razor-sharp teeth.
“I’ll be back a little later to check on you.” Her sister’s words hardly registered in her mind and she wanted to tell her not to go, to warn her about the thing behind her, but Lizzie was suddenly gone and the solid mass moved towards Molly, laughing maniacally.
Molly tried to scream but she had no lips. She couldn’t feel them and when she tried to open her mouth she couldn’t. Someone, whatever this thing was, had taken away her lips. She breathed heavily through her nose, desperate for air; she started to fight her restraints. She had to get away from this thing that was enveloping her room and her mind. She could feel it invading her mind. It ripped at her clothes with long sharp claws and she could feel the air on her skin. She was exposed, naked and cold, to this evil presence, and she looked away as a long tongue snaked out of its mouth and up her neck and the side of her face. It left a wet trail behind it and she couldn’t quite place what it smelled like, but it was disgusting and overwhelming. She felt a searing pain that shot straight through her, as though something had been pushed into her and was ripping her in two, and her head fell back onto her pillow and she passed out.
“I saw something in my room as well,” Molly admitted.
“Tell me about it,” Dr. Manning instructed her, his pen poised to write.
“Well, it started out as a large shadow behind Lizzie, but then it became…I don’t know…solid? I guess that’s how I would describe it, and it had a mouth, with razor sharp teeth.” She paused, letting Dr. Manning’s scratching pen catch up with her words before she continued, “And then it came towards me, I think it wanted to hurt me.”
“And what did this monster do then?” James asked her, watching as she hugged herself, sitting at the bay window in his office.
“I…I don’t know,” Molly admitted. “When I woke up, it was gone, and I was...I was dressed and I was fine.”
“Do you understand it was just a hallucination?” James asked curiously, “That your unhealthy mind created this creature?”
“But why? What causes it?” Molly asked. “What’s wrong with me?”
“That’s what we’re trying to find out, Molly,” James assured her, “And we will, we just need to delve into what causes this behavior. Have you had black outs and rampages like this before?”
“I don’t even know what I did,” Molly said, tears coming back to her eyes.
“Would it make you feel better to know?” James inquired.
“Yes,” Molly said desperately, “Yes, please.”
“Well, one moment you were reading a book and the next thing you started to have what we call a fit or a seizure. Two patients came over to check on you and quite suddenly you launched yourself from your chair, declaring the demons would not get you, and you started to scratch and hit the patients. You then attacked the orderlies who came to assist, and eventually they managed to sedate you and bring you to your room. You realize your hallucinations cannot hurt you, Molly?” Dr. Manning asked.
“It felt like it could, it felt so real,” Molly said, wiping at the newly formed tears in her eyes.
“And now? How do
you feel now? Do you see anything now?” he asked.
“No, nothing since I woke up the second time,” she conceded.
“You know, some mental illnesses can manifest themselves in unusual ways,” Dr. Manning said, standing up and stretching. “For example, I suspect that you might suffer from a sort of sexual deviancy.”
“Sexual…sexual deviancy? How could that make me see demons and shadows?” Molly asked confused.
“Well, from what I have researched, if you don’t alleviate your cravings, or medicate them, then your cravings manifest in hallucinations,” he explained, putting his hands on his hips.
Molly licked her now dry lips and couldn’t help but glance at the large bulge in his pants. “So, what sort of medication would I need?”
“Well, there’s various treatments for this, but the most important thing is, if we are going to medicate you, we need to rule out other things or prove it is sexual deviancy.”
“And how do we do that?”
“Well, there are lots of ways, Molly, but some of the most effective forms of exploratory treatments are…not really recommended anymore.” He had paused before the last few words and it made Molly feel slightly uncomfortable. She wanted to get better though; she never wanted to have another episode again.
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” she said quietly.
“We’ll start with a few physical pleasure sessions from tomorrow,” Dr. Manning explained, “Where you will pleasure yourself and see if you still have hallucinations after that; we need to gauge your sexual appetite to prescribe the correct dosage of medicine.”
“Will you…what will…how does it work?” Molly asked, mortified at the idea.
“I know it may seem like an uncomfortable idea, but you’ll pleasure yourself while I am taking notes. I need to observe you, see what pleases you and what doesn’t, so you may have to tell me about what you’re thinking about when you pleasure yourself. Are you up for that?”
Molly remained silent for a while and Dr. Manning opened his mouth to say something, but she held up her hand. “Yes, okay. If you really think it’s the best course of action.”
“I do, Molly, I would never ask you to do anything that wouldn’t help better your life,” Dr. Manning assured her. “Why don’t you go on and get some rest now, and we’ll start tomorrow, okay? I’ll have Lizzie come give you something to help you sleep.”
“Thank you, Dr. Manning,” Molly said quietly, standing up and hugging herself, “For everything.”
“It’s why I’m here,” he said with a dashing smile.
Chapter 2
Molly had the worst nightmares that she could imagine. She was running through their childhood home and something, a shadow, was chasing her, calling her name and promising to make her feel nice if she let it catch her.
She sat up in her room in Serenity, bright light streaming through her window and chasing away the nightmare that had plagued her. She tried to remember the details, but they were already slipping away, as though repulsed by the light of day. She had hoped to share the nightmare with Dr. Manning, perhaps it would mean something, but the last remnants were ebbing away, and she could only recall being chased by something and being afraid; the other details escaped her.
“Do you want to shower now or later?” the orderly who opened her door asked.
“Later please, after my session with Dr. Manning,” Molly said.
“Okay, it’s time for breakfast, Molly,” he said, waiting for her. She got up and waited for him to turn his back on her so she could change. She got dressed quickly and then walked to where he was waiting, shutting the door behind her.
They walked together in silence towards the dining room and he only left her once they were inside to go get his own breakfast. Molly joined the queue of patients waiting to be served and picked up a tray as she reached them.
Scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast smelled divine and Molly suddenly felt starved. She carried her tray quickly to her table in the corner and sat down, eating right away.
“Slow down or you’ll choke,” Riley said as she sat down, long scratch marks on her face and neck.
“Oh no, what happened to you?” Molly asked through a mouthful of eggs.
“You don’t remember? I tried to help you when you had…your fit or whatever,” Riley said, starting to eat her own food. “You scratched the shit out of me and Jana.”
“I’m so sorry,” Molly said after swallowing, looking around and spotting Jana sitting not too far away, scratches clear as day on her neck and arm. Molly felt guilty as Jana met her eyes and gave her a sad smile. Turning back to Riley, Molly bit her lip.
“It’s okay, shit happens,” Riley said with a shrug and continued to eat as though Molly hadn’t gouged out chunks of her flesh with her short nails.
“I’m still sorry,” Molly said. “Why are you sitting near me anyway? I attacked you.”
“You also interest me,” Riley said, looking up with a smile, “What are you in for anyway?”
“In for?” Molly asked. “Oh, you mean why am I a patient! Dr. Manning suspects I have some sort of sexual deviancy problem and it’s causing my hallucinations.”
“I wouldn’t call you and anything sexual that you do a problem,” Riley teased with a cheeky smirk, “I think you’re hot.”
Molly blushed and looked away. “Thank you,” she said, feeling awkward. “I…I enjoyed the shower together,” she admitted quietly.
“I’ll be your James any day,” Riley declared, finishing her food and sipping on her cup of orange juice.
Molly grinned as well and was about to ask if they could meet later on, after her session, when Jana walked over to join them.
“Hi, I’m Jana. I don’t think you remember our little meeting,” she said, holding out a hand.
“Molly,” she responded, taking Jana’s hand and shaking it.
“Riley says you’re cool, so I’m going to forgive you for attacking me,” Jana said seriously.
“I am really sorry,” Molly blushed again, “I didn’t know…I didn’t have control…”
“I figured, not everyone deliberately has fits,” Jana said, reaching over and taking a piece of Molly’s bacon and eating it.
Molly gave her a small smile and continued to eat her food while Jana and Riley discussed what they were going to do for the day. They sounded bored and as though they’d been at Serenity for a long time already. Molly wondered what they were ‘in for’ and then it struck her that they may be dangerous. No, she thought, they wouldn’t have helped her if they were dangerous, would they have?
“So, you’re with Dr. Manning?” Jana asked her suddenly, turning to look at Molly with bright green eyes. “I hear he’s hot.”
“He is,” Riley said. “I’ve been transferred to him; he’s a fuck machine,” she laughed, and Jana laughed along with her.
Molly giggled, “He is rather good looking.”
“You’re so polite,” Riley chuckled, “Rather good looking, just admit he’s hot and sexy and you want him. We both know you do.” Riley winked at her and Molly blushed crimson.
“Maybe,” she said teasingly, “Maybe I’ve already had him, you’ll never know.”
The three of them chuckled and Riley got up. “Well, I’m going for a walk around the gardens, nothing else to do in this hell hole. You guys want to meet up later in the showers?”
“Sure,” Jana said, licking her lips, “I’m always up for a shower with you, Riley.”
Molly blushed and mumbled something, but Riley reached over and took her hand. “We’ll meet you in the showers after your session with Dr. Sexy,” she said, and Molly gave a slow nod.
Riley left and Jana got up not long after her with a, “See you later,” and she was gone too.
Molly got up and took her tray to the designated area before going to an orderly and asking him what she could do today to pass the time.
“You can go for a walk in the gardens,” he suggested. “Or perhaps you want to
watch some television.”
Worried she might run into Riley in the gardens, Molly decided on television and he escorted her to the entertainment room where the television was showing the Wizard of Oz. Molly didn’t mind the movie so much so she found a seat and got comfortable, trying to ignore the more disturbed patients around her and focus on the movie.
She must have zoned out because when she snapped back to reality there was an orderly standing next to her with a hand on her shoulder. “Miss Lebowski,” he said quietly, “It’s time for your session with Dr. Manning.”
Molly stood up slowly, feeling slightly dazed, and followed the orderly to Dr. Manning’s office. When she walked in, Dr. Manning stood up and walked over to her. “Molly, good to see you, are you well?”
“I feel slightly light headed,” Molly said softly and took the arm that James offered her.
“It might just be nerves about the treatment plan we are following,” he explained. “Let’s get you set up and we’ll get started.”
Molly nodded and followed him to the bay window where she stood, waiting for his instructions.
“So, what you’re going to do is take off your track pants and panties and sit with your legs spread wide apart,” he said. “Then you can start to touch yourself, describe to me what you’re imagining while you touch yourself, don’t be scared or shy. If you need any help, I’m right here.”
Molly swallowed, “Help?”
“Yes,” Dr. Manning smiled, “If you need me to talk you through a fantasy or anything like that, whatever you need I’m here for you.”
“Thank you,” Molly said, bending down to push her track pants off. She kicked her shoes off and stepped out of her pants before pushing her panties down. “Is this really okay?” she asked, standing with her legs pressed tightly together. “It’s just, this doesn’t sound right.”