Tell

by Carrie Secor

  It’s on Friday night.

  Please don’t embarrass me.

  Melody and Andy were going on a date, Cadie realized. Her fifteen-year-old sister was going to be out at a party with a guy on Friday night; meanwhile, Cadie would probably be here, solving limits.

  At lunch the next day, Cadie prepared herself to do another meal with Felicia and Elliot. Ever since Shane had started sleeping with Felicia’s acquaintances, Felicia had developed a complete distrust of anyone attempting to get close to her. Cadie had grown accustomed to being Felicia’s only confidante. Frankly, she was a little jealous of the way Elliot had swept right in and befriended her. But she liked Elliot well enough; she seemed nice, funny, and appropriately incredulous of Felicia’s personality.

  Cadie parted ways with Stacy at the door again and headed over to what was now their usual table. “Hey,” she greeted Felicia as deposited her books in a chair. “Do you want to go to the mall on Saturday or something?”

  “Why?” asked Felicia.

  She shrugged. “I could just use some new clothes, that’s all. Penney’s is having a sale and I bet I could get my mom to let me borrow her card.”

  “I guess,” answered Felicia.

  Cadie gave her a big thumbs-up. “That’s the spirit.” Felicia laughed, and Cadie felt the mood lighten a little. “Is Elliot sitting with us again today?”

  Felicia nodded.

  “That’s cool. She seems nice,” Cadie offered.

  Another nod, but nothing else. Cadie gave up and headed toward the lunch line.

  When she returned, Elliot was already there with her tray. She did not know what they were talking about, but Felicia had actually put down her sandwich to listen more intently to Elliot. As Cadie approached, she realized she had walked into the middle of an anecdote about their English teacher, Mr. Bundy.

  Elliot finished the story and the two of them laughed. Cadie took a sip of her lemonade.

  “So,” Elliot said. “What are the cool things to do around here?”

  Cadie and Felicia glanced at each other. “Um, no offense,” said Cadie, “but if you wanted to find cool stuff to do, you’re hanging out with the wrong people.”

  “Yeah,” Felicia agreed. “We don’t do… cool stuff.”

  “We don’t do much stuff at all,” Cadie added.

  Elliot laughed. “Okay. Well, what are you guys doing on Friday night? What’s the typical weekend activity?”

  “Well, on Friday night, I will be going to the football game,” Cadie said, “whereas Felicia—”

  “Felicia will not be going anywhere near the football game,” Felicia finished.

  “What, we don’t like football games?” Elliot asked, picking at her bread roll.

  “I hate going to football games,” answered Felicia. “The sport is totally stupid. I don’t understand the rules. Kids go there and paint their faces and act like idiots, and Shane does not need another excuse to be the center of attention.”

  Cadie waited for Elliot to ask who Shane was, but all she did was nod. Cadie raised an eyebrow. Evidently the two of them were talking quite a bit. Felicia did not typically readily admit that she was related to Shane. Cadie cleared her throat. “I’m not a big fan of them, either,” she spoke up. “I usually go to all the home games with my parents, though, because my sister is in the band.”

  “Oh, that’s cool,” Elliot remarked.

  “And then they always have those stupid post-game parties,” Felicia blurted. “Shane always comes home smelling like beer and pot and the next day on Facebook there’s thousands of pictures of cheerleaders flashing the camera and making out with each other.”

  Elliot raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like fun.”

  “Speaking of the post-game party,” Cadie said, “guess who is going to it this week.”

  “Who?” Felicia asked.

  “Melody and Andy.”

  Felicia gasped. “No way.”

  “Who?” Elliot repeated politely.

  “My sister and her friend Andy. She’s had a crush on him for, like, ever,” Cadie answered. “Anyway, I’m not sure why they’re going, but I guess Susan invited them and they’re going together. Last night she asked me to drive them because Andy can’t drive past eleven.”

  “Who’s Susan?” asked Elliot.

  “She’s my sister’s friend,” responded Cadie. “She’s a cheerleader.”

  “She’s totally fake,” added Felicia. “She’s so annoying. Melody is really nice and we can’t figure out why she hangs out with Susan.”

  Elliot raised her eyebrows. “Wow,” she remarked. “Melody must really be nice if you think she’s nice.”

  Cadie was appalled at the comment; even more so when Felicia said, “Well, Melody hasn’t slept with my brother.”

  Andy could feel the back of his neck getting sunburned. Band practice went until 5:30 on Monday and Thursday evenings, and today the sun was relentless. It had not rained in weeks, which was very unusual for central Pennsylvania. He was going to have some nice tan lines from the saxophone strap around his neck. He had been standing in the same spot for about five minutes while Mr. Bell helped the piccolo section set a diagonal. He wanted to take off his sax, but he knew that the second he did, Mr. Bell would finish and call for them to reset the form, so he left it on.

  He turned and saw Lucas in the form about ten yards behind him. They caught each other’s eye. They both checked on Mr. Bell’s progress; after setting the piccolos, they had discovered the clarinets were off, so he had moved to that section. As if on cue, Andy and Lucas started moseying toward one another and met at a spot in the middle of the field.

  Other kids saw this and decided this was a good idea; some started wandering out of their spots to talk to friends, others sat down in the grass, and still others pulled out their cell phones and started texting, a practice which was strictly verboten during band rehearsal. A few kids stayed at the ready; Andy knew it would take a nuclear missile to dislodge Melody from her spot before Mr. Bell told them they could move. Neil saw the two of them together and sidled over with his snare drum strapped to his chest.

  Neil nodded in the direction of their drum major. “Think Kristy’s boobs are getting bigger?”

  Kristy Erickson was very short, very thin, and very well endowed. Neil had started calling her Drum Major Jugs shortly after she had been named drum major at the end of the previous school year, and the nickname had quickly caught on. She had protested it at first, but now its usage was so widespread that there was really nothing she could do about it, so she just accepted it. She had even begun to respond to it.

  Andy glanced at her inconspicuously. “They look about the same to me,” he said under his breath.

  Neil shook his head. He was staring at her overtly. “She wore that tank top a couple weeks ago and it’s definitely tighter in the chestal area.”

  Andy was ready for a change in topic. “Guess what I’m doing on Friday night.”

  “What?” asked Lucas. Neil did not respond; his eyes were still trained on Kristy.

  “I’m going to that party after the game.”

  “Who’s having a party?”

  “No, the post-game party.”

  Neil finally looked at Andy. “How did you manage that?”

  “Melody asked me to go.”

  “How did Melody manage that?” Neil asked.

  Andy shrugged. “I guess Susan invited her.”

  “So now we’re using Susan for invites to the post-game parties?” Lucas wanted to know.

  “Can you suggest a better use for her?” Without waiting for a response, Andy went on, “I’m hoping Amanda will be there. So I can, you know… talk to her or something.”

  Lucas did not reply right away. He stared down at his baritone, absently tightening and loosening one of his valves. Neil had lost interest and was craning his neck to get a better view of Kristy again. “You sure that’s a good idea?” Lucas finally asked quietly.

  “What, talking to
her?”

  “Talking to her when you’re going there with Melody,” Lucas answered, finally meeting Andy’s eyes.

  Andy furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, if you’re going to a party with one girl, you shouldn’t be worrying about making time with another girl. It’s kind of messed up.”

  “Lucas, I’m going to the party with Melody. It’s not like it’s a date. She probably just invited me so she didn’t have to hang out with Susan all night.”

  “If that’s the case, it’s still messed up to ditch her to hang out with Amanda.”

  “I seriously think you’re making too big of a deal about this.”

  Lucas shrugged. “Whatever.”

  Andy rolled his shoulders, feeling the ache in his back. “The hell with this.” He detached his saxophone from its strap and breathed a sigh of relief as he set it down in the grass. “Ah, that’s better.”

  The PA system on the field crackled to life. “Okay, gang,” Mr. Bell’s voice rang over the field, “take this back a set and run it to here.”

  Seven

  Felicia stood outside the dance studio waiting for Brian’s Shadow to appear on the street. She reached in her pocket and pulled out her cell phone to check the time. It was 8:23. He was usually here by now.

  She heard the door slam behind her and turned to look over her shoulder. Elliot had emerged, her gym bag slung over her shoulder. Felicia had learned that it took her forever to get changed after rehearsal. On Tuesday, when Felicia had left the studio to meet Brian downstairs, Elliot had barely gotten her shoes off. The fact that Elliot was done changing and Felicia was still standing there waiting was unsettling.

  “Do you need a ride?” Elliot asked her.

  “Brian is supposed to pick me up,” Felicia answered, leaning over the curb slightly to peer down the street.

  “I’ll wait with you,” Elliot offered.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “Well, it’s getting dark. Besides, now I finally get the chance to meet Brian.”

  Felicia could not help laughing. “I love how you say ‘finally’ as if we’ve known each other for months and he’s like this big secret I’ve been keeping from you.”

  “He kind of is,” Elliot replied teasingly. “I mean, I don’t know that much about him. I don’t even know if you guys are boning.”

  Felicia was silent.

  “I’m sorry,” Elliot said after a moment. “I wasn’t… I was just saying.”

  “It’s okay,” Felicia responded immediately. After a pause, she stated, “We’re not.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “No, it’s fine. Brian and I aren’t having sex.” She looked the other direction down the street. “We do other stuff. And to tell you the truth, he’s kind of been pestering me to have sex with him since he’s leaving for college so soon, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet.” Felicia kept staring down the street, not wanting to look at Elliot. She was not exactly sure what had come over her, but she realized she had absolutely no qualms with talking to Elliot about this. She found that strange, because every time she thought about talking to Cadie about it, she felt uncomfortable. Standing here with Elliot in the street, the last thing she felt was uncomfortable. She was seeking advice and validation. More importantly, she just wanted to tell someone.

  “Are you just not ready to do it yet?” Elliot asked.

  “See, that’s the thing. How are you supposed to know if you’re ready? Am I going to wake up one day and just know that I’m ready to start having sex?”

  “Probably not.”

  “We never really had problems in our relationship until he started bringing it up all the time. I’m nervous about what’s going to happen. Sex changes everything, right?” She looked at Elliot, who shrugged.

  “Everything’s going to be changing anyway. You shouldn’t let that be a factor in your decision.”

  Felicia looked down at her folded arms. “I guess.”

  “I mean, don’t let me tell you what to do. If you don’t want to have sex, don’t do it. Who cares that he’s leaving for college?”

  “How do I know if I want to have sex with him?” Felicia asked.

  Elliot looked surprised. “You’ll know,” she responded. “You may not know if you’re ready to do it, but you’ll definitely know if you want to or not.”

  Before Felicia could respond, a pair of headlights appeared at the end of the street. “That’s him,” she said quietly to Elliot. She waved her hand at the car. She felt relieved, and she told herself that was simply because she had started to worry about him being so late. He pulled up to the curb in front of them, and Felicia and Elliot stepped back.

  Felicia leaned down to the passenger side window and knocked on it. Brian looked at her quizzically and shrugged. She made a face and knocked on the window again.

  He rolled the window down. “The door’s unlocked.”

  “I know that,” Felicia said impatiently. “I wanted you to meet my friend, Elliot. She just moved here.”

  Elliot leaned over to stick her head in the window next to Felicia’s. “Hello,” Elliot said brightly. Felicia was reminded of prostitutes trying to get a date from the street and wished Brian would have just gotten out of the car.

  “Hey,” Brian greeted her. “Did you need a ride?”

  “Oh, no, thanks,” Elliot responded. “I was just waiting with Felicia.”

  Brian simply nodded.

  Felicia felt the awkwardness of the moment creep up on her, so she stood and backed away from the car, and Elliot followed suit. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Elliot said. She turned and headed to the lot behind the studio where her car was parked.

  “Yeah. See you later.” Felicia watched her walk away for a moment before getting in the car and slamming the door. Brian immediately pulled away from the curb and sped off down the street. She was tempted to say something to him; she felt like somehow he had been rude to Elliot. When she thought about it, however, she could not pinpoint exactly what he had said or done that had been rude. Instead, she remained silent.

  She felt his hand slip over hers, and they laced their fingers together. He smiled at her. “So how was rehearsal?” he asked, and she felt herself smile.

  “Pretty good,” she answered. “It wasn’t anything too exciting.”

  The two of them fell silent then, and Felicia found herself staring out the window watching the farms and houses pass by, enjoying the weight of Brian’s hand against hers. She played back the conversation that she had had with Elliot on the curb. Elliot made it seem so simple, but the truth was, Felicia really did not know whether or not she wanted to have sex with Brian. She felt flustered simply thinking about it. However, she did not think that she was going to figure it out sitting in his car, staring out the window.

  She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. Her eyes were still trained on the scenery passing by. “Brian?” she said, breaking the silence.

  “Yeah?”

  Felicia took a deep breath. “I think I’m ready.”

  The school was a little abuzz the next day, as it usually was on a Friday before a football game. Cadie had never paid much attention to the football team’s progress; she attended the games in order to see her sister’s performance and cheered for the team where appropriate, but never grew emotionally attached to the outcome of the game. But that morning on the ride to school, Stacy and Susan had talked about it the entire ride, and Cadie had found herself getting somewhat excited about that evening’s game.

  Cadie knew school spirit levels were going to be high when she noticed that Stacy was wearing a blue and gold t-shirt and jeans instead of her usual eighties garb. “Wow, you look like you came from this century,” Cadie remarked. They were getting out of the car in the school’s parking lot.

  “I have to wear this shirt the day of the game,” Stacy replied, slamming the car door.

  Cadie nodded in the direction of Melody a
nd Susan, who were walking together toward school. Aside from noticing that Melody had been unusually quiet the entire ride, Cadie also noticed that Susan’s shirt, while also a spirited blue and gold, was different than Stacy’s. “Susan’s not wearing one,” Cadie pointed out.

  “Oh, no,” Stacy answered. “It’s not a cheerleader thing; it’s a girlfriend thing.”

  “A girlfriend thing?” Cadie repeated, politely incredulous.

  “Yeah.” She shook her head slightly. “All the guys on the football team have these shirts and their girlfriends always wear them the day of the game for good luck.” She saw the look on Cadie’s face and said, “I know it’s kind of stupid, but it’s a tradition. And I don’t mind doing it.”

  “I thought it looked kind of big on you.”

  “Will got it in tenth grade and it’s still big on me. That kid is a beast.”

  The two of them waited for a bus to pass, then crossed the parking lot toward the school. “I’m stopping by your house tonight,” Cadie said.

  “Oh, good! You decided to come to the party?”

  “I’ll make an appearance,” Cadie answered, “but I’m really only going to drop off Melody. For whatever reason, she’s going to this party with Andy.”

  “Oh, God. How did they even find out about it?”

  “I guess Susan invited them.”

  “I love her,” Stacy announced sarcastically.

  “You and me both,” Cadie said.

  “So, you’ll be at the party then, at least for a little while.”

  “Just to drop them off and pick them up. Melody’s curfew is midnight.”

  Stacy shrugged. “You might as well stay then. The game won’t be over until ten. The party won’t get going until ten-thirty at the earliest. It’d be stupid to drop them off and turn around and come back less than an hour and a half later.”

  “You don’t live on Saturn. It’s like a seven minute drive.”

  “Cadie, come on. What other plans do you have for tonight?”

  Cadie was silent for a moment. She really did not have anything else on her agenda for that evening, other than calculus, but that seemed a lame excuse, even by her own standards. She would not have anyone else with whom to spend that evening; Felicia was spending the evening out with Brian while her parents would be at the football game supporting Shane. Otherwise, her weekend plans looked pretty bleak, other than the brief trip to the mall she was planning with Felicia tomorrow. “I might be tired after the game,” Cadie said lamely.