Broke Down: My Over the Top Possessive Alpha Harem

by Sharan Daire

  He raked a hand through his hair and stared at the bottle in his hand, though he didn’t take a drink. “Or I’d have been trying to get that dress off of you.”

  It was my turn to studiously stare at my wine as if trying to measure it with only my eyes. “I had some thoughts along those lines as well.”

  “Is that why you can’t sleep?” Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel the warmth of his gaze searching my face, afraid that I was upset.

  I nodded. “But not because I was concerned about how… uh… steamy things got.”

  “Then why?”

  My tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of my mouth. I couldn’t remember having such an open conversation with a guy before, let alone one I was interested in dating. Which was dumb, right? I ought to be able to talk openly to a date without being worried about his reaction. Or he wasn’t a safe man to be with. I’d learned that lesson already.

  It was hard to peel back that Band-Aid, though. To risk exposure and embarrassment, especially so early in our relationship. I looked up at him and took a deep breath. “I was lonely. Missing you.”

  His face softened and he lifted his arm, silently inviting me to slide over against him. I did so, shifting over the small space between us to settle against him, my head on his chest. His arm came down around me, holding me close.

  He pressed a kiss to my head. “Me too, Shelby. I thought I’d go nuts tonight, wishing I could hold you. Talk to you. See you. Tomorrow morning is too far away.”

  Closing my eyes, I sank into the warmth of his body and the rhythm of his breathing. His heart pounded a steady beat against my ear. I soaked him in, smiling to myself. Such a simple pleasure. Listening to his heart, letting the rise and fall of his chest sway me like gentle waves.

  It’d be so easy to drift away into sleep. But I wasn’t ready to lose this quiet companionship yet. I shifted a bit so I could take a sip of my wine without moving too far away from him. “Tell me a story.”

  “What kind of story?”

  “Um, I dunno. Maybe something about being a twin? I always thought it’d be cool to have twins one day, until I realized how hard it is to take care of one newborn, let alone two. Do you have that twin sense with Derek?”

  “Like me feeling his pain sort of thing? Not that I ever noticed, but D is pretty indestructible. I don’t think he’s ever been physically hurt enough for me to feel it. Even in football, he was a beast. If he takes a hit, you’d better knock him the fuck out, or he’ll get back up and tear your arms off.”

  I could definitely see him playing like that, roaring with victory on the field. “Did you play football with him?”

  “Yep, though I was the running back. My job was running away from crazy guys like him. None of the other local teams had guys half his size, though.”

  “I don’t know much about football, though Liam loves to watch sports. At least, he did with his father. Before.”

  I grimaced, regretting the direction I’d accidentally taken our conversation. It’d been so long since I’d gone on a date that I’d forgotten rule number one. Don’t bring up the ex.

  Kaleb must have sensed my discomfort and didn’t press me for details. “I only played football because of Derek and our friends. I was much better at basketball. Since D hated to run, he didn’t play much once we hit high school.”

  “Did Everett or Chris play basketball?”

  “Chris did. He played all the sports and excelled at everything he ever did. That’s the kind of guy he is. He’s wicked fast and smart. He’s got that vision, you know? The ability to look at the field or court and see the big picture. Where he needs to go, where I’ll be, where the defense will move. He’s always had that talent. I guess that’s why he’s so good at fashion and photography too. He just has the eye for putting things together in an impactful way.”

  “Seems to me like you’ve got quite an eye yourself.”

  He shifted against me slightly, his hand moving up to play with my hair. “Not like him. I see people. Their hearts and feelings and dreams. He sees the big picture.”

  I sat up a little so I could see his face. “Seeing people’s hearts makes you very special.”

  He blushed slightly, though that might have been the alcohol heating his cheeks. “Guys aren’t usually appreciated because of their feelings and insight, you know? It’s not… manly.”

  I stroked his cheek, loving the bristle against my palm. “You’re a six-foot-plus muscle-bound sweetheart. How could anyone think you’re not manly?”

  He shrugged a little, his eyes closing at my touch. “I’m used to it. I’m not as threatening as D. I’m not as smart as Everett. I’m not a rich strategist like Chris. I’m just me, a giant softie I guess.”

  Staring up at him, I realized something else that made my eyes burn. “You’re a giver too, aren’t you?”

  “Sure. Everyone likes to give presents, don’t they?”

  “Sometimes it hurts to give so much,” I whispered, lightly brushing my thumb over his soft, full lips. “Like today, for instance.”

  He opened his eyes, head cocking slightly as if he didn’t know what I meant. But his deep, endless eyes confirmed the truth.

  “You took yourself out of the shoot so Chris could participate. You made that possible for him.”

  “Ah.” He nodded once, shrugging like it was no big deal. “I wasn’t adding much anyway. It was the least I could do for him.”

  It broke my heart that he thought he wasn’t adding much to their group, when he was their heart and soul. “When I was lonely tonight, you were the one I called.”

  His eyes flared. “You were worried about Wally.”

  “Yeah. But I would have called you anyways. Do you know why?”

  He tried to make a joke, uncomfortable with the emotion that darkened his eyes, even going so far as to toss his head a little, so the longer hair fell down over his eyes. “The couch softie? Good for cuddling.”

  Sometimes it was intolerably uncomfortable to actually be seen for who you were. I threaded my fingers through the loose curls, gently combing his hair back so he couldn’t hide. “Because I trust you the most. I can invite you to sit with me and talk, even drink, and know that I’m safe. You’re not going to try and convince me to go into the bedroom before I’m ready. You’re not going to make any moves on me to head to the bedroom before I’m ready. I can trust my secrets to you, and know that you’re honest and open with me too. That means more than I can ever say, Kaleb.”

  The emotion darkened in his eyes and he swallowed hard. “I haven’t been completely truthful, Shelby. Your car—”

  I didn’t want to hear how badly my car was messed up. All I wanted was to feel safe and loved. Even if my brain insisted it was ridiculous to think he could already love me. Closing my eyes, I pressed my lips to his, running my hand through his hair. My other hand slid up to his chest, relishing the hard curve of muscle and strength.

  As before, he kissed me eagerly, but instead of taking control like his brother, he opened. Not just his mouth, but his heart and soul seemed to be thrown open to me. He invited me inside, enfolding me in his arms. Promising safety, warmth, comfort. A sense of belonging. Of family.

  He slid backward, shifting us so that I lay across his upper body, his head on the arm of the sofa. His fingers stroked through my hair, dancing along the curve of my spine.

  I pressed my face against his neck, breathing in his scent. Drinking in the warmth of his skin. It’d be even better if he was shirtless, so I could kiss and stroke his chest, but this was probably safer for us both. Though I couldn’t help but ask, “Do you have any… uh… rules? About who does what, or asking each other first, or…”

  He laughed softly, his chest rumbling beneath me. “We’ve never gotten far enough to figure out how it’ll actually work.”

  “Never?”

  “Oh, we’ve dated off and on, but separately. Very casually. Once we introduced them to the rest of the guys and hinted at what we
wanted, they usually ran for the hills.”

  I propped myself up on my elbow so I could see his face. “Seriously?”

  “One hundred percent. A couple of years ago, Derek and I were co-dating a woman and thought it might actually work out. She even came over to D’s apartment at the time for dinner with us both. But once we introduced her to Everett, she bailed.”

  “Did she say why?”

  “She said banging twins was a lark, something she could check off a bucket list sort of deal. Dating three men at the same time would make her feel like a whore.” His brow furrowed, his fingers tightening slightly on my hair. “You don’t feel that way, do you? The last thing we’d ever want is for you to feel dirty or used in any way.”

  I worked my fingers beneath the waistband of his hoodie and found the searing hot skin of his abs. “You’ve never made me feel badly. Not once. In fact, you make me feel like a princess just for existing.”

  Relieved, his body relaxed beneath mine and he gave me a full-on brilliant smile that revealed dimples in both cheeks. “Princess Shelby, I am at your disposal.”

  He was so adorably gorgeous. Eyes twinkling, those killer dimples, his sweet personality. I still couldn’t believe I was here. That I’d actually met them. My chest ached, making my voice sound funny in my ears. “Princess Shelby would like it very much if you removed your shirt.”

  His eyes widened even more, and he barked out a laugh. Sitting up enough to pull the hoodie over his head, he tossed his shirt over his head and lay back down, arms open. “Your wish is my command.”

  20

  Derek

  I’d texted Shelby this morning to offer to walk her up to the lodge again, but she didn’t answer. Which was odd. She’d always been quick to answer my texts before. Then I texted my brother, and he didn’t answer either. Which was even odder.

  My heartbeat thundered in my ears as I walked up the steps to her cabin. If she had invited Kaleb to stay the night… My chest tightened and I could barely breathe as I carefully peeked inside the paned door. Hope strangled me. Hope that she’d gotten close enough to him that maybe… Just maybe…

  I didn’t want or need to catch them in the act of anything. I just wanted a hint of confirmation. If he was here…

  Then there was hope for me too. Hope for all of us.

  Oh, he was here alright. They were asleep on the couch. Together.

  Averting my gaze to give them some privacy if they needed it, I stepped back and knocked on the door. Immediately, I heard muffled scrambling.

  “Oh, shit,” Kaleb exclaimed.

  “Hello?” Shelby squeaked.

  I could barely suppress my laughter. “Good morning, sleepyheads. If you don’t want Chris down here pounding on the door, you’d better get up pronto.”

  “Oh, no. I’m going to be late!” Shelby cried out. “Kids! Why didn’t you wake me up? Come in, Derek. Can you make some coffee?”

  “Sure thing, sugar.” Still laughing softly, I pushed open the door but drew up when I saw her frowning, arms on her hips. “What?”

  “You don’t have to look so smug, Sheriff. Since when do you call me sugar?”

  I gave her a smile that hopefully rivaled my charming, easy-natured twin’s. “Since now, if that’s alright with you.”

  Her lips quirked. Still completely dressed, to my regret, and I’m sure Kaleb’s too, she looked me up and down. “You’re working again today?”

  “Unfortunately, and it’ll be a long one too. I may even miss dinner.” Her face fell, striking another blow to my already lassoed heart. “I’m off tomorrow though, so I’ll make it up to you.”

  The kids came running down the stairs, chattering about what they were doing today with Miss Maggie. Wally sat by the couch and Kaleb gave him a rub. “There you are, you traitor.”

  “Thanks for letting him spend the night with me,” Allie said, hopping up on his lap. “You got to stay the night too?”

  Shelby let out a low, muffled groan and rubbed her temple, bracing for a thousand questions.

  “I sure did,” Kaleb answered easily. “I hope that’s okay.”

  “Sure,” Allie replied. “Mommy gets lonely a lot. Me too. I’m glad you got to stay, but maybe Derek could stay tonight? We can watch a movie.”

  Shelby’s cheeks heated even more, and she shot me an imploring look that I wasn’t sure how to interpret. Did she want me to find an excuse not to come? Maybe she wasn’t comfortable enough with me yet. The hard-ass cop persona was too much sometimes. Maybe I’d teased Kaleb too hard, or—

  “Derek said he was going to be really busy at work today, baby.”

  Allie pouted, and Liam looked disappointed. But not as disappointed as me. Shelby wasn’t ready. Maybe she’d never be ready. If I fucked up and ruined this for Kaleb, then I’d never forgive myself. I made my voice as light as possible despite the crushing weight on my chest. “I’ll probably be late getting back, sweetheart. It might be past your bedtime.”

  “They could stay up later than usual. It’s not like they’ll miss school.”

  I snapped my attention back to Shelby, searching her face. Maybe I’d misunderstood her completely. I’d leaped to the assumption that she wasn’t ready, but that almost sounded… “Is that an invitation?”

  Her eyes widened, catching on to my hesitation earlier. Her eyes heating up though she dropped her gaze. Biting her lip, she nodded. “Yeah, we’d love to have you come by tonight. If you can spare the time.”

  Spare the time? I’d fucking camp out on the porch if she’d let me, just so I could see her as soon as she woke up each morning. “Then you kids had better have a really good movie picked out.”

  “Yay!” Allie shrieked, which made Wally bark and run around the room.

  Liam stepped closer, his young face solemn and so very carefully reserved. As if he was afraid to expect too much. “I hope you don’t hate Disney movies, Sheriff. That’s all she watches.”

  “Derek,” I reminded him gently. “I love Disney movies, and I’ve seen them all except Frozen. Though my favorite movie is Cars.”

  His eyes flared, a smile breaking over his face. “I’d love to see it again.”

  “Perfect. Let’s watch it tonight.” I glanced at Shelby to remind her of the time. “Tick tock.”

  Gasping, she whirled around and raced for the back bedroom. I went into the kitchen and started coffee, while Liam grabbed two bowls and poured out cereal. While they ate, I went over to Kaleb. I wanted to grill him on all the juicy details, but not in front of the kids. “Everything okay?”

  “Perfect.” He glanced at the breakfast bar and dropped his voice. “We just cuddled and slept.”

  I nodded, keeping my voice low. “That’s a start.”

  “More than a start. It was pure heaven.”

  My chest ached and my clothes felt too tight. Not just in the crotch, though that was an obvious difficulty, but even my chest and arms. My muscles were pumped up and eager to win her hand, prove my love, and conquer any obstacle that might present itself. “Is she thinking about it? Us?”

  Kaleb nodded. “We talked a little about logistics last night. Mentally, I think she’s almost there. We need to be careful with her trust, D. It’s a fragile, delicate thing. Her car is going to be a problem if I don’t come clean soon.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ll try to explain it tonight. Do you know how she likes to take her coffee?”

  Grimacing, he shook his head. “Not yet. Hey, Liam. How does your mom like to drink her coffee? Sugar and cream?”

  “Black, I think. She saves the milk for us.”

  Killer shot straight to the heart. I had to close my eyes a moment, fighting to keep my face smooth instead of revealing the rage bubbling up inside me. I hated the thought of her pinching pennies, fighting to keep the kids fed and clothed. Where even milk or cream for her coffee was considered a luxury. Let alone fancy drinks from a coffee shop.

  Silently, I poured some hot coffee into a to-go cup and examined the fridge
to see what Everett had stocked. There was a carton of half and half and a bottle of flavored creamer, but the latter didn’t seem to be opened yet. I settled for adding the plain cream to the cup.

  “Ready?” Kaleb said, drawing my attention as she hurried back into the front room.

  She’d left her hair loose and wild around her shoulders. No makeup, since the crew would take care of that once she arrived for the shoot, and faded jeans that fit hugged every inch of her perfect thighs. I was too busy drinking in the sight to realize she was holding her hand out for the cup, until Allie tugged on my sleeve.

  “You’re silly,” she giggled.

  “Yes, ma’am, I sure am.” I handed Shelby the drink and swooped the little girl up in my arms. “Are you ready for some more fun with Miss Maggie? What are you doing today?”

  “She said we could go see some butterflies today, if that’s okay with you, Mommy.”

  Kaleb opened the door for us and helped Liam with his coat. “Oooh, the Butterfly Museum is a great place.”

  Slipping one arm into the leather coat I’d lent to her, she turned automatically, letting me help her with the other arm since she had the drink in her hand. “Is it far?”

  “Not at all. Just over in Branson.”

  “Can you go with us, Kaleb?” Allie asked.

  “Not today, pumpkin, unless Chris says he doesn’t need me today.”

  “Plus he’s working on Bessie,” Liam reminded her.

  Knowing my brother’s lingering guilt about the not-so-dead state of the car, I quickly changed the subject. “Let’s get up to the lodge before Chris sends out a helicopter to get us.”

  Allie laughed and skipped along with Wally right beside her.

  “How is Bessie?” Shelby asked.

  Kaleb shot a pleading look at me, but I narrowed my eyes and gave him the asshole stare. If she left now…

  She might never come back.

  A few more days, I silently pleaded with him. That’s all we need. I hope.

  “She’s coming along. She’s a grand old car, Shelby. Thank you for letting me work on her.”