While We’re Far Apart

by Lynn Austin

  “I think that would be a good idea. And please think about what I said, yes? About visiting your mother?”

  “I will.” She edged toward the door. “I’d better get upstairs or they’ll wonder what happened to me. Thanks for your help, Mr. Mendel.”

  “You are very welcome.”

  CHAPTER 33

  JUNE 1944

  ESTHER DUMPED CORNFLAKES into a bowl and poured milk over them.

  She could hear Penny bustling around upstairs, making the beds, collecting laundry – who knew what else? Esther wished she would hurry up and leave for work. Penny never allowed them to listen to the radio in the morning, saying she didn’t want them to get distracted by it and be late for school. But Esther couldn’t stand to wait all day to hear the latest news about the war.

  At last Penny rushed into the kitchen and grabbed her lunch box from the tabletop. “Bye. I’m off to work. See you kids later.”

  Peter looked up from his cereal and waved to her.

  “Bye,” Esther said. She listened for the front door to close, and the moment it did, she leaped up from the kitchen table and hurried into the living room to turn on the radio, carrying her bowl of cereal with her. The downstairs door thumped shut just as the radio finished warming up.

  “The long-awaited Allied invasion of Nazi-held territory in France began early this morning, Tuesday, June 6. According to reports, the assault began with the saturation bombing of coastal batteries by over one thousand RAF heavy bombers, followed by the nighttime airborne invasion by the U.S. 82nd and 101st Airborne Divisions, along with the British 6th Airborne Division . . .”

  “Peter!” Esther shouted. “Peter, come here and listen to this!” He ran barefoot into the living room, wiping his mouth on his pajama sleeve. “They did it, Peter, they did it! You know the big invasion everyone’s been waiting for? It’s happening, right now over in France. It’s finally D-Day!” He perched on the arm of the sofa, his mouth open in surprise as they listened together.

  “. . . At dawn, fifty convoys began landing five divisions of Allied troops on the beaches of northern France. Meanwhile, naval escort carriers and destroyer squadrons patrolled the English Channel for Nazi U-boats. According to early reports, the Allied Expeditionary Force met with stiff resistance on at least one of the landing sites, suffering severe losses . . .”

  Before Esther could stop him, Peter jumped to his feet and switched off the radio. “What are you doing? Turn it on. I want to hear it.” He blocked Esther’s attempts to reach the dial, butting against her with his shoulders and elbows, furiously shaking his head. But she was bigger than he was, and stronger. She dodged his flailing arms and shoved him out of the way. “Move, Peter!”

  He staggered to one side and fell to his hands and knees, and at first Esther feared she might have hurt him. But just as she heard the announcer say, “Late in the day, Nazi Panzer divisions began a counterattack against Allied forces,” Peter yanked the plug out of the socket. The radio died.

  “What did you do that for? Plug it in! I need to hear it.” He continued to shake his head, his jaw thrust out in anger. He crouched in the corner with the plug in his fist, ready to fight back if she tried to approach him. “What is the matter with you? Daddy might be fighting in that invasion. Don’t you want to hear it?”

  Peter put his hands over his ears, shaking his head. She wanted to kick him in frustration. “Well, I want to hear it! Plug it back in!” He refused. He pointed to himself, then to her, then to the front door. Esther understood his sign language well enough to know what he was saying. They needed to get dressed and go to school or they would be late. And he was right.

  “You make me so mad sometimes!” She stomped her foot. “This is one of the biggest battles in the whole war, and we’re going to miss it, thanks to you!”

  She ran from the living room and hurried upstairs, determined to get dressed before Peter did and beat him downstairs to the radio. They had moved Esther’s bureau into Penny’s room, and Esther had begun changing her clothes in there for privacy after Penny had taken her shopping for new undergarments. Esther had needed her first brassiere. She had been embarrassed at first, but several other girls in her class wore them, too.

  Esther dressed as quickly as she could, but when she came out, Peter stood waiting for her by the bedroom door. He handed her the little chalkboard. He had written her a message: I’m too scared to listen if Daddy might be there.

  Her anger melted away. Peter had witnessed the crash that had killed their mother, and now he didn’t want to hear about a battle that might claim their father. Esther sighed. “Okay, I’ll keep the radio off.” They finished getting ready, grabbed their lunch boxes and book bags, and left the apartment together without saying another word.

  The news vendor on the corner hawked his papers, shouting “Extra! Extra! D-Day invasion! Read all about it!” Esther longed to buy a copy, but there wasn’t time.

  At school, her teachers and fellow students talked about the Allied landing all morning. Her social studies teacher pulled down the roller map of Europe and showed them the narrow sliver of blue water called the English Channel and the Normandy coast where the invasion was taking place. Esther couldn’t stop thinking about the war, wondering where her father was and what he was doing. She made up her mind to listen to the radio when she got home, whether Peter liked it or not.

  She bounded up the porch steps after school and found two V-mail letters from Daddy in the mailbox – one for her and Peter, and the other for Penny. Roy Fuller had sent Penny a V-mail letter, as well. Esther read their father’s letter first before giving it to Peter. Daddy had written it before the invasion while he was still somewhere in England. He said that the Allies expected to cross the channel any day, as soon as the rain let up and the weather cleared.

  She handed Daddy’s letter to Peter, but he looked so frightened as he sat slumped on the sofa reading it that she didn’t dare turn on the radio, afraid they would get into another argument like the one they’d had this morning. She left him alone and went downstairs to see if Mr. Mendel was home. He would listen to the news and talk about it with her. But he wasn’t home. She trudged back upstairs and sat down at the dining room table with Peter to do her homework, then she practiced the piano. F inally Penny arrived home. Esther raced into the hallway to meet her.

  “Did you get today’s newspaper? Did you read it?” She had talked Penny into buying a newspaper at the bus station every afternoon on her way home from work, and Esther had begun cutting out articles and pictures the way Mr. Mendel used to do. She had used some of her allowance to buy a big scrapbook and a bottle of glue at the five-and-dime store and had already filled more than half of the scrapbook’s pages with clippings.

  “I bought two newspapers,” Penny said. “This is a really big day, isn’t it?”

  “Everyone at school said it’s the biggest day since Pearl Harbor.”

  “Here. Take both papers. I need to start supper.”

  Esther didn’t ask Penny if she needed help. Instead, she carried the newspapers into the dining room, reading the front page as she walked. As soon as she sat down at the table with them, Peter closed his arithmetic book and disappeared up the stairs. Esther didn’t care. She spread out the first paper and began to read, too excited to sit still. She cut out several articles about D-Day, as well as a big map that showed where the Allies had landed. She hadn’t even finished cutting the first paper when Penny called her and Peter to dinner. Penny had heated up last night’s leftover casserole along with a can of peas, opening a can of pears for dessert. They ate at the kitchen table.

  “How’s Roy?” Esther asked, remembering the letter.

  Penny smiled and it seemed like a light bulb had switched on, lighting up her face. “He’s doing good – same old Roy, always making corny jokes. He can’t say where he is, of course, but he says the weather is hotter than a burnt biscuit. He feels like his skin is going to melt right off. He says they eat so much rice, d
ay after day after day, that he never wants to eat another spoonful of it as long as he lives. Oh, and he said to be sure and say hi to you kids.”

  Esther scooped up a forkful of peas. She gobbled down her food like a starving person, eager to return to her newspapers. “I like Roy,” she said. “I wish they hadn’t sent him overseas. He said he might take us to Coney Island this summer and we’d go on all the rides at Luna Park.”

  “I know. Maybe we can find someone else to take us.”

  “Who?” Esther said with a huff. “There is nobody else.”

  “Roy added a note to you, Peter,” Penny said. “He wants you to write and tell him how the Dodgers are doing this season. And he said he’s sorry he won’t be able to take you to a game like he had hoped.”

  Peter nodded without looking up.

  After she and Penny washed and dried the dishes, Esther cut up the second newspaper. “Can we listen to a news program?” she asked when Penny turned on the radio. Peter tugged on Penny’s sleeve, shaking his head in protest. Penny looked from one of them to the other.

  “I think we should listen to a regular program, Esther. Isn’t The Lone Ranger on tonight? You like that show, don’t you?”

  “But I want to hear the news!”

  “There’s plenty of news in the papers.”

  “But I want to hear more.”

  Penny put her arm around Peter’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Not tonight,” she said quietly.

  Esther stomped her foot. “Why not?”

  “You’re becoming more and more obsessed with the news, Esther, and it isn’t good for you. I think you should put the papers away for tonight and come listen to a program with us. Stop torturing yourself.”

  “I need to know what’s happening!”

  “Why? You can’t change anything or control it.”

  Esther knew she was right. The battles raging over in France were as out of her control as the car that had killed her mother. She couldn’t do anything to keep her father safe, either. “I want to know because I’m scared,” she finally said.

  “Peter, find us a program to listen to,” Penny told him. While he knelt to tune the radio, she went to Esther.

  Esther quickly crossed her arms and turned away, fearing that Penny would try to hug her. “Listen,” Penny said gently. “Remember when we read Queen Esther’s story with Mr. Mendel? Remember what he said? God was there with Esther all the time. He didn’t say anything, but He was there, controlling all the details.”

  “But it’s so hard to wait and not know what’s happening.”

  “I know. It’s hard for everyone who has loved ones fighting in the war. But as far as today’s battle is concerned, your father probably didn’t go ashore with all those other soldiers. The army won’t need trucks and jeeps right away. They’ll wait a few days until they can move away from the beaches and go farther inland, like the newspaper said they would do. He’ll be okay.”

  “Just because Peter doesn’t want to listen to the news doesn’t mean I should have to wait. Why does he get his own way?”

  “Because this time he’s right. Hearing it would frighten all of us. We need to stay calm until we get another letter from your father. Then we’ll know where he is and what he’s doing. In the meantime, we have to stay strong. Think of poor Mr. Mendel. He hasn’t received any news about his son in more than two years.”

  “I hate waiting to hear.”

  “I do, too. But we shouldn’t let our imaginations run wild in the meantime. Worrying too much about your father isn’t good for any of us.”

  “Why are you worried about Daddy?”

  For a moment, Penny looked flustered. Her cheeks turned bright pink, as if the apartment were very warm. “Because he’s my friend,” she finally said. “Listen, as long as we’re talking about your father, I want to read you part of the letter I got from him today.” She pulled the V-mail from her apron pocket and unfolded it. “You listen, too, Peter. Your father said, ‘I know the kids will be out of school for the summer soon, and I don’t want them to stay home alone all day while you’re at work, Penny.’ ”

  “What? That’s not fair! I’m old enough to stay home by myself. I don’t need a baby-sitter.”

  Penny held up her hand for silence. “Don’t stomp your foot like that, Esther. Poor Mr. Mendel will think the ceiling is coming down. This is what your father wrote: ‘Last summer, the kids stayed with their grandmother during the day, and I think it would be a good idea if they stayed there this summer, too. Especially after what you told me about – ’ ” Penny stopped reading and quickly refolded the letter. “Never mind. I read you the important part.”

  “Especially after what?” Esther asked. “I want to know what else Daddy said.”

  “It’s private.” Penny slid the letter into her pocket. “I know you’re growing up, Esther, but with Mr. Mendel away so much of the time, we all agreed that it isn’t a good idea for you to be here by yourselves. You can ride the bus with me when I leave for work in the morning and spend the day with your grandmother, then – ”

  “No, I don’t want to. It’s not fair! I won’t get to spend any time with my friends!”

  Jacky had promised Esther that they would hang around together this summer when he wasn’t working at the grocery store. She had been looking forward to it.

  “In exchange,” Penny continued, “you and Peter get to stay home on the weekends instead of sleeping overnight at your grandmother’s house. You’ll have all day Saturday to be with your friends.”

  It was a small consolation. “Can I go to the movies with them?”

  “Sure. And maybe the three of us can go other places together, like to the zoo or the beach.”

  “I’m still going to write to Daddy and tell him I’m old enough to stay home.”

  “You can try, but I don’t think he’ll change his mind,” Penny said. “Your father also said that he doesn’t think your grandma should be alone all day. She has too much time to feel sad about your uncle Joe. She’s lonely without her family, Esther, just like Mr. Mendel is. You two kids have cheered him this past year and helped him not to miss his family so much. Now you need to spend some time with your grandma and cheer her up, too.”

  Esther wanted to scream in frustration. Then she thought of something else. “How am I supposed to practice the piano at Grandma’s house? She doesn’t have one.”

  “Well . . . I guess you’ll have to wait until we get home every day – ”

  “That stinks! I was looking forward to summer and now it’s ruined!” Esther stormed out of the dining room and just kept going, slamming the front door and thundering down the steps. She thought about telling her troubles to Mr. Mendel, but she knew that he probably would agree that they should spend time with their grandmother.

  Esther unlocked the front door and stomped outside onto the porch just as Jacky Hoffman walked past the apartment. “Hey, hey, beautiful . . . What’s wrong? Where are you running off to?”

  Esther didn’t want to tell him that she was angry for being treated like a baby – especially when she was pouting like one. She took a breath to calm down and shrugged her shoulders. “No place . . . Did you hear the news about the invasion?”

  “Sure, everybody has.”

  “Yeah . . . well . . . I’m worried about my father.”

  He tilted his head to one side in sympathy. “You poor girl . . . Come here . . .” He reached out his hand to her in invitation, and she went down the porch steps to him. “Come with me, Esther.” Jacky took her hand in his and led her around the corner of the house and down the narrow walkway between his apartment building and hers. When they reached his back courtyard, Jacky ducked into a cubbyhole beneath the stairs and pulled Esther down beside him. “This is my own special hangout,” he said.

  The dark space smelled musty, and there wasn’t very much room. The ground was cold and damp beneath her skirt. But Esther’s heart felt like it might jump right out of her rib cage as Jacky wrapped h
is arms around her and held her close. “There,” he murmured. “Feel better now?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” She hadn’t felt this frightened and excited and breathless since Daddy took her on the roller coaster at Luna Park. She wasn’t sure if she should be alone with Jacky this way, but it felt so good to be held and comforted that she decided to stay. Esther missed her father’s hugs.

  “Where is your father stationed?” he asked.

  “He’s over in England. I’m worried that he might be in the D-Day invasion.” Jacky listened patiently while Esther unloaded her fears, describing details from the news articles she had read. She talked until long after the sun had set and the first star began to shine in the evening sky. And all that time, Jacky kept his arms wrapped tightly around her, his cheek resting against her hair. Her cheek was pressed against his chest as they sat squished together in the tiny space.

  She stopped talking when she heard footsteps shuffling up the walkway between the two buildings. Jacky put his finger over her lips to shush her. A figure emerged from the shadows, and Esther recognized her brother’s silhouette in the dim light.

  “That’s Peter,” she whispered. “He’s looking for me.”

  “He can’t see us. He’ll go away.”

  “I should go home. They’ll be worried.”

  “Stay just a little longer.” Jacky began to caress her shoulder.

  Esther didn’t think her heart could beat any faster, but then it sped up, not from excitement but from unease. It no longer felt comfortable to be alone with him, sitting so close to him. She was afraid that he might try to kiss her, and she didn’t want him to. Kissing was something that grown-ups did, and Esther didn’t think she was ready to be a grown-up.

  “I can’t stay.” She squirmed away from him and crawled out of the cubbyhole, brushing dirt from her damp, wrinkled clothes.

  “Hey, don’t go yet.”

  “I have to. Thanks for talking with me, Jacky.” She ran back to her apartment as if someone was chasing her, her footsteps echoing in the narrow space between the buildings.