Sister Betty Says I Do

by Pat G'Orge-Walker

  The long center counter was Freddie’s idea. He’d said he wanted to look into the saintly eyes of his beautiful Honey Bee each time they cooked.

  The night before Bea and Sasha had barged in, Sister Betty had made a pitcher of his favorite lemon-flavored green tea. After pouring the tea they sat for a moment in silence, sipping slowly, while Freddie smiled and embraced her with the gleam in his eyes.

  Sister Betty soon rose and began busying herself about the kitchen. “Take this bowl and snap the beans for supper,” she told Freddie. “It’ll give you something to do. You’re making me blush looking at me. I’m not used to that,” she teased.

  Freddie laughed and replied, “I guess beans will do as a substitute since I couldn’t snap Bea’s and Sasha’s necks.”

  Sister Betty didn’t join in the laughter, as she normally would have. Instead, she silently prayed for wisdom. Despite his praying earlier, she wasn’t convinced his overhearing Bea’s and Sasha’s assaults on his manhood, particularly his possible lack of a lot of female contact, hadn’t humiliated him. The way he’d reacted had taken her completely by surprise. Threatening Bea and Sasha in such a manner wasn’t how she had expected her shy fiance to respond.

  Deep in thought and prayer, she almost pulled the kitchen drawer out of the cabinet while trying to get at the utensils to ice the cake she’d baked the night before. Heavenly Father, I need some of your wisdom, she thought prayerfully. She would one day soon become his wife, and now was as good a time as any to learn how to make him feel more comfortable and manly.

  “Freddie,” Sister Betty murmured sweetly while placing the cover on the cake plate.

  Lifting his head, which he kept down while he snapped the beans, he replied, “Yes, honey?”

  Sister Betty wiped her hands on a towel, walked over, and stood behind him. Her slender fingers began instinctively massaging his slightly stooped shoulders, as though she’d done so for many years.

  “I know we’ve gone before the Lord and worked it out with Him, but you made me proud standing up for me and battling those two old, nosy she-demons.” She hoped that bringing it back up wouldn’t make him feel bad, since she intended on making him feel better. She needed him to know that she felt safe, protected. It didn’t matter how much or when was the last time he’d had carnal knowledge. After all, it wasn’t like she thought about or cared whether he ever took home the gold from the sex Olympics when she accepted his proposal.

  Freddie gently removed her hands and turned to face her. “I know I said it already, but I’ll say it again. I’m sorry, Honey Bee. The last thing I wanted to do when I saw your side door open was to walk in here and find those two old crows mouthing off. The truth is that I just need to pray more.”

  “Well, since we’re being truthful,” she replied with a strong laugh that caused her shoulders to heave, “one of the last things I’d wanted was for you to walk in here and catch my wig all lopsided.”

  “Come to think of it,” he replied, smiling as he looked her up and down, “you could be completely bald, honey, and it still wouldn’t matter.”

  “Well, since you put it that way, I won’t hold that or your anger at those two meddlesome women against you. Fact is, I’d been up since the break of dawn, trying to get the most out of the last day of my prayer fast, when they came by without being invited.”

  “Well, we won’t let them ruin what’s left of the day. By the way, isn’t that lovely lawyer cousin of yours, Sharvon, returning to Pelzer today?” A smile blanketed Freddie’s face, where moments before tired lines had connected his brow to his cheekbones. “It’s good she’s coming back to stay awhile. Having young folks around can sometimes put more pep in your step.”

  “I know what you mean. I never thought I’d feel this way about some of my kinfolks, but I just love having her around. I’m just happy that this time she’ll be here for more than a few weeks. She may join this big law office. But don’t say nothing, because I’m not supposed to jinx it. At least, that’s what she believes.”

  “Young people say the craziest things.” His words were followed by a smile. “But I say if it’s God’s will, then she’ll get the partnership.” Freddie checked his watch and added, “What time is Sharvon’s plane landing?”

  Betty turned to look at the kitchen clock. “Oh my. If it’s on time, then I’ve less than an hour to get to the Greenville-Spartanburg airport.”

  “I’d go with you, but it’s my turn to gather books and stamps for the prison ministry.”

  “I know you would if you could. God’s always got a ram in the bush.”

  “And we thank Him for that,” Freddie told her. “So you’d better put a move on before your spiritual son, Reverend Tom, arrives before you’re ready.”

  When Sister Betty returned about fifteen minutes later, she quietly laid her Bible on the counter. “Ahem. Praise the Lord, son.”

  The thirtysomething reverend Leotis Tom, all six feet five inches of him, laid down the fork he held in midair, cake crumbs falling down. “Praise Him, Sister Betty.” Leotis rose and wiped cake crumbs from his mouth with a napkin. “As usual, you’ve put your foot in this cake and made it beyond scrumptious. I don’t care if it’s healthy or not.”

  “I probably should’ve told him not to touch that cake.” Freddie winked at Leotis, while at the same time pushing aside his own saucer littered with cake crumbs.

  Leotis turned toward Freddie, returning the wink. “Trustee Noel, here it is you’ve gotten me in trouble again with my spiritual mama. How many times are you going to make me have to apologize to her?”

  Sister Betty said nothing, preferring to pretend that she was very disappointed that they’d cut the cake by shaking her head hard enough to cause her sun hat to slide a little.

  Despite the supposed annoyed look on her face, Leotis walked over and kissed her on her cheek before returning to his seat.

  “Don’t bother trying to soften me up.” Sister Betty looked him up and down as though for the first time before she broke out in a smile. “Look at you. I see you’re out of uniform today.”

  There was no turned-around collar or dark-colored clothing, his usual preacher’s wardrobe, which often hid the results of a healthy lifestyle, namely, running track and engaging in constant workouts. Instead, he wore a red shirt with short sleeves that seemed to burst at the seams from his huge muscles, along with matching trousers, which were not quite as tight yet revealed chiseled thighs and legs. His dark, curly hair was damp around the edges from perspiration, and there was just a hint of moisture on his caramel-complexioned face and playfulness in his hazel eyes.

  “First, you come in here and cut my chocolate cake without asking, and now you standing here, looking at me like I’m Betty dum-dum,” she teased. “You see, my fiance, who’s still in trouble, won’t stand for that.”

  “That’s right,” Freddie chimed in. “Don’t let me hafta get someone else to lay hands on ya. I’d do it . . . but I need these paws to lift another forkful of cake.”

  All three broke out in laughter. It was their ritual. They loved one another just as much as if they had more than just the blood of Jesus between them.

  “Come on, Mrs. Soon-to-Be Noel,” Leotis said, laughing. “Let’s go get that gorgeous cousin of yours. I’m sure she’s missed you.”

  “Yeah,” Freddie added with a wink, “and I’m sure there’s someone in this kitchen who, if he tells the truth, will admit he’s missed Sharvon, too—and I don’t mean in a sisterly fashion, as he claims.”

  “I know what you’re hinting about, but you just worry about getting this one to the altar,” Leotis said as he pointed to Sister Betty. “When God sends me the right woman, I’ll know it.”

  “And how will you know it’s the right one?” Sister Betty asked as she folded her arms across her chest, staring at him hard, daring him to be more specific.

  Leotis folded his massive arms across his chest likewise. Without flinching or giving an inch in tone, he replied, “I’ll kno
w because there’ll be not just one to choose from, but two.” His voice suddenly became more serious in tone. “I’ll know because just like King Solomon wisely thought of a way to tell the real mother of the baby in question, God will show me the right choice to make whenever the time comes.”

  “Good thing you ain’t preaching that nonsense to the good people at Crossing Over Sanctuary,” Sister Betty teased. “We’d have nothing but bachelors and men trying to get out of marriages. And you know the women would be cranky about it.”

  Leotis laughed. “I guess they would at that. And speaking of cranky women, I had a call from Mother Pray Onn just as I was leaving.”

  A look of guilt spread between Sister Betty and Freddie, as though they were expecting a reprimand from their pastor.

  “She called to remind me that I promised her two weeks ago that I’d pick up one of her relatives at the airport today. I guess it’s a good thing I was going, anyway, because I’d truly forgotten about it.”

  “Well, a promise is a promise,” Sister Betty told him quickly.

  Leotis blew a kiss at Sister Betty, causing cake crumbs to scatter. “That’s true, and as long as it’s someone who’s not talking about marriage, we’ll have a short but lovely ride back to Pelzer.”

  “I gotta hand it to ya.” Freddie laughed. “When it comes to making up a way to not talk about getting a wife, you take the cake.”

  “That’s right. As a matter of fact, I feel like another slice to take for the road.”

  As though she hadn’t heard him, Sister Betty sighed, “That reminds me. Can we get to the airport?”

  She couldn’t claim to know all of Sasha’s relatives, but she was certain none of the Hellraiser nuts had fallen far from the tree.

  Chapter 3

  “We haven’t even arrived at the airport.” Leotis spoke through clenched teeth. “I’ll call you as soon as they are in the car and we are leaving. This is the third time you’ve called. Mother Pray Onn, I need to keep my eyes on the road and not answer cell phone calls every five miles. . . . I know what she’ll be wearing. You’ve told me that three times, too.” He flipped the cover to his cell phone, turning it off for good.

  Sister Betty watched the pained look on Leotis’s face. It was the same expression he’d had since they left her house and she reminded him that none of Sasha’s relatives, with the exception of her niece Zipporah, were sane. “Zipporah was raised from birth by foster parents,” she’d told him. “That’s the only reason she escaped the crazy gene pool them Hellraisers call a family.”

  They’d just driven into the Delta arrival terminal when Sister Betty spotted Sharvon dressed in a yellow, sleeveless tunic-style dress. A purple sash accentuated her tiny waist. She was waiting by the curb with her luggage. Sharvon appeared engaged in conversation with another young woman, who was shorter. The other woman had long red hair pulled back into a ponytail and was dressed in tight green shorts and a white halter top that would never stop her large bosom, should it decide to escape.

  “We’ll need to get Sharvon’s attention quickly,” Leotis told Sister Betty. “The TSA won’t allow this car to remain idling too long.” With the glare from the hot sun nearly blinding him, he craned his neck out of the car’s window, trying to look in Sharvon’s direction. “From what little I can see,” he said, now using one hand to shield his eyes, “she’s not alone. If it’s a friend who needs a ride, and it’s not too far out of our way, I think we can fit all their luggage in the trunk and squeeze one more person besides Mother Pray Onn’s kin inside the car.”

  Just as Sister Betty’s car window began rolling down, she heard her name being called. It wasn’t Sharvon, but the woman standing with her.

  “Sister Betty!” the woman called out, waving frantically at the car as Sharvon joined in, waving at her, as well.

  They had wheeled luggage, and instead of waiting for Leotis’s car to come closer, Sharvon and the other woman began racing toward it against the traffic.

  When they neared the car, Sister Betty’s head jerked toward Leotis and then back at the women. She took a large swallow and moaned, “Oh, Jesus, why give me two of them all in one day?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “That’s Ima Hellraiser with Sharvon!”

  “Do you mean Mother Pray Onn’s niece Ima? She’s the one I’m supposed to pick up.” Leotis used both hands to shield his eyes before he blurted, “Wow, she doesn’t look anything like the way she was described to me.”

  “Yes. She’s the one and, I thank God, the only one.”

  “She doesn’t look anything like Mother Pray Onn,” he said softly, his eyes suddenly appearing brighter. “She’s beautiful.”

  “She’s deadly like a snake and sneaky like a scorpion,” Sister Betty hissed. “You’d have to watch out for that one.”

  “Luke ten, nineteen,” began Leotis in his baritone preacher’s voice. “Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” With both hands now gripping the steering wheel tightly, he smiled, his eyes still locked on Ima as she strode toward the car with Sharvon.

  “Harrumph!” Betty replied as she searched her mind for a rebuttal scripture. “Exodus seventeen, two. Why chide ye with me? Wherefore do ye tempt the Lord?”

  Before they could continue their back-and-forth, impromptu scripture challenge, Sharvon tapped on the driver’s side door.

  “Hello, Leotis. Please hurry and open the door.” Sharvon quickly pointed to the other woman. “We’ve got extra company, and we need to get out of this heat.”

  Ima said nothing as her bright green eyes with specks of brown became like missiles, locking onto Leotis. She smiled appreciatively. “Speak for yourself,” Ima told Sharvon, laughing. “Hellraisers live for heat.”

  Both women piled into the backseat while Leotis placed their luggage inside the trunk, and Sister Betty rubbed her knees, which had suddenly begun to throb. It was a sure sign that God was trying to tell her something using her knee phone or a continuation from her bad night.

  “Sister Betty, I thought that was you.” Ima laughed and began squirming in the backseat, causing a bit more jiggling from the halter top than necessary “I heard about your news.” Again, she laughed and began humming, “Here comes the bride. Here comes the bride.”

  “Yes, Ima, it’s me. I’m certain I’ve made your day” Sister Betty turned in her seat, looking Ima straight in her green eyes, which seemed suddenly brighter from the laughter. “We ain’t got to worry about no police or nothing, do we? I’ve got other things to do than go get Sasha to bail you out, especially since I’m not on speaking terms with her.” She quickly turned around, letting Ima know that she’d said all she wanted to say and no response was welcomed or needed.

  “I didn’t know you and my cousin Betty were such old and not-so-dear friends,” Sharvon said, slowly hunching her shoulders, with a questioning look upon her face.

  “I’ve known Sister Betty most of my life, and we always tease like that,” Ima said softly. Pointing to Leotis, who’d just reentered the car, she added, “But I don’t believe I’ve ever met him.”

  Not waiting for Sharvon to introduce them, Leotis turned around and extended his hand to Ima. “I’m Reverend Leotis Tom.”

  “From Crossing Over Sanctuary?” Ima asked. “You mean you’re the gentleman who Aunt Sasha got to fetch me?”

  “The one and the same,” Leotis replied. “I’ve been Mother Pray Onn’s pastor for more than eight years, and yet I don’t recall you ever coming to the church.”

  “Are you certain about that?” Ima purred.

  “I’m certain I would have remembered you from among the more than two thousand members.”

  The immediate and appreciative glances between Leotis and Ima didn’t go unnoticed by either Sister Betty or Sharvon.

  Sharvon said nothing. She pursed her lips and just stared at the back of Sister Betty’s head or looked out the window.<
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  Sister Betty could tell Sharvon felt uncomfortable, because she hadn’t said much. She also recalled the conversations she’d had with Sharvon over the past few months, since she’d come to stay after her mother died. She knew Sharvon had more of an attraction to Leotis than she’d let on, yet just like him, she wasn’t rushing to enter the dating or matrimony game. “He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry, so why should I?” she’d said after she and Leotis had gone out several times to dinner and a movie. “We’re just good friends.”

  Sister Betty fingered her Bible and wondered whether or not she’d approve of Ima becoming the jealousy-driven shove toward Leotis that Sharvon needed.

  However, until she made up her mind one way or the other, Sister Betty wasn’t about to let any flirtation between Ima and Leotis continue unchecked. And so she reached over and tapped Leotis on his knee and began singing as the car turned onto the highway heading back toward Pelzer. “If you let that Devil ride . . . she’s gonna wanna drive.”

  Smiling at his spiritual mother’s obvious insinuation, Leotis looked into his rearview mirror. He did it just in time to catch the unappreciative eye of Sharvon and the flirtatious look from Ima. Now strumming the steering wheel, he could think of but one response to his spiritual mother’s warning. It was the words in an old Stevie Wonder song he’d always liked, “Don’t You Worry ’Bout a Thing.”

  Suddenly Leotis felt alive and leery at the same time. It’d been quite some time since he’d been in female company and felt what he was feeling. Father God, please don’t place me between a rock and a hard place. Wisdom and restraint, Lord . . . I need wisdom and restraint.

  Sister Betty, on the other hand, clasped her hands and began silently praying as she queried God. Father, I’ve been all up and down and in and out of your holy Word. If there’s any situation in that book that is akin to what I know is about to happen if Leotis lets Ima into his world, please show it to me. And, Father, if it be thy will, please slap Leotis upside the head with some wisdom. Amen.