Sister Betty Says I Do

by Pat G'Orge-Walker

  Delilah came over to Thurgood, tapping him on his arm. “Why don’t you swing back around here and pick me up after you drop Freddie off?” she told him. “I just thought of a lovely idea for their wedding, and I want to run it past Betty first.”

  “That’s not a problem, Dee Dee. You just take your time. I got an idea I want to discuss with Freddie, if he don’t mind. But it just might take a little more time than it would if I just dropped him around the corner.”

  Sister Betty heard the sound of Thurgood’s car engine as he backed out of her driveway. She gathered the glasses, almost dropping them as she placed them on the counter. She could feel Delilah’s eyes watching her every move. It didn’t take but a few minutes to remove the napkins and reset her table. The way Delilah’s eyes burned into her back made the whole process seem like an eternity.

  “So what are you going to do?” Delilah finally asked. “Clear the entire kitchen and mop the floors before we sit and chat? Before you start protesting, I’m telling you that Thurgood and I can tell something’s wrong.”

  “I really don’t want to talk about it, Delilah. I’ve left it in God’s hands.”

  “Oh, ain’t that about nothing,” Delilah said as she maneuvered a chair to block Sister Betty from leaving her kitchen. “Do you think God is going to come down here and fix your mess? He has His people to do that for Him. You, above all, should know that, especially the way you keep butting in folks’ business and saying the Lord sent you.”

  Delilah’s words brought Sister Betty’s mind to a halt. She’d promised God that she wouldn’t involve anyone in her troubles with Freddie. She’d kept her word so far, because she hadn’t discussed whether there’d be a wedding with anyone, not even Freddie.

  “Delilah, are you telling me that God has sent you?”

  “I’m telling you that you need to stop aggravating God about things that He’s already promised you. I’m telling you that you need to understand that whatever God’s got in store for you, the Devil wants to cancel.”

  “I know that, Delilah.” She did know it, and especially when it came to other people. How often had she given that same encouragement to someone when they’d begun to lose hope or become impatient? “I’ve been reading the Word, fasting, and praying.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Delilah remarked. “And yet you haven’t believed what God has promised you. Luke, the eighteenth chapter and first verse, tells us that we should always pray and never become discouraged.”

  “I have faith. . . .”

  “Sure you have faith,” Delilah said as she pulled the chair away so Sister Betty could pass and sit opposite her. “You have super-saint faith that you will receive everlasting life. You have faith that Jesus went to the cross. You even have faith that God will supply all your needs. Yet because you’ve reached three score and something, you don’t believe God can finally give you a husband, and that even with all the crazy drama that sometimes come with a relationship, that you won’t ever know what to do to make it work. You’re acting like all this is nothing but a dream. My goodness, Betty, I’d hate to see how your faith would react if God told you like He told Sarah that you were going to have a child.”

  Sister Betty burst into tears.

  They hadn’t been inside Freddie’s home but ten minutes, and all during that time Thurgood had done nothing but scold him. Freddie wanted to toss Thurgood out the door.

  “You need to pray and cancel this shameful pity party you’ve been holding,” Thurgood said.

  “You don’t know nothing about what I’ve been doing since your cousin canceled the wedding without saying a word to me first!” The words were finally out there, and there was nothing Freddie could do to take them back. All he could do was wait for a look of shock to appear on Thurgood’s face.

  But the shocked look never came. Thurgood placed his hand on Freddie’s shoulder, telling him, “Well, it’s about time you said something. Sharvon finally phoned us last night and said what’d gone down and that it was her fault. She hadn’t meant to tell old blabbermouth Sasha that your wedding was off.”

  Freddie didn’t need to express his anger in words. The furrowed brow, the turned-down mouth, and the clenched bony fists said it all. “I don’t care what Sharvon finally told you. I’m sure Betty knew that you already knew about what’d happened. She sat there and let me go through all of that so-called wedding vow nonsense.” He jerked his shoulder away from Thurgood’s hand.

  “No, she don’t know that I know.” Thurgood threw up his hands. “In fact, she’s probably acting about as crazy and dumb with Dee Dee as you are right now ’cause she don’t know that Sharvon told us anything. According to Sharvon, Betty really thinks you don’t wanna get married.”

  “Thurgood, I don’t believe you.” Freddie began clawing at something on his arm, as though he literally wore his hurt feelings on his sleeves. “You can get outta my house right now. I can’t stand a hypocrite, and especially one who’s going around the country, trying to tell others how romance and safe sex is supposed to work.” Freddie began walking toward his front door.

  “Oh, man, please,” Thurgood said as he placed his hands on his hips. “You need to calm down. You already taking medicine for that high blood pressure.” Thurgood suddenly smiled. “Although, I got to tell you that you really surprised me back at Betty’s.”

  Freddie stopped and spun around. “What are you talking about now?”

  “I’m talking about the way you was reacting when my Dee Dee was reading that piece from the Song of Solomon. A man knows what another man is thinking.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Uh-huh.” Thurgood smiled. “I’m crazy enough to know that whatever you taking for your high blood pressure ain’t stopping Freddie Junior from trying to strike out on its own.”

  A shade of red Thurgood had never seen before suddenly spread across Freddie’s face.

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” Thurgood told him. “Dee Dee can cause a stir in a graveyard.”

  Freddie hung his head. “I guess now I’m being a bit hypocritical. I’m sorry,” he told Thurgood. “I’m not lusting after your wife. It’s Betty I want.”

  Thurgood laughed. “Man, please. I ain’t hardly mad at you. Me and the whole world know that Dee Dee is a fine woman, and a gorgeous one at that.”

  “She’s very pretty,” Freddie remarked. “But she’s not my Honey Bee.”

  “Lord, no!” Thurgood blurted. “But I am glad to hear you say that. I mean, there’s a lot of playas out here and inside the church that would’ve had such ideas.”

  “I’m no playa.”

  “Of course you are,” Thurgood told him. “You’ve probably been running away and escaping the marriage claws by inches.”

  “No, I haven’t,” Freddie admitted. “I’ve never been within reach of a marriage claw.”

  “Really?” Thurgood said. He then folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the living room wall. “I betcha when you rode a horse bareback, you tamed that filly, didn’t you?”

  “I did ride a couple of fillies back in the day, but as soon as I’d feel them bucking, I’d fall off too soon. . . . Word sure got around quick that I was no cowboy.”

  What Freddie had confessed weakened Thurgood, and it showed as he slowly pushed away from the wall. Although he no longer wore his hair conked, the little gray fuzz he did have stood on edge. “Not even one that you could pay to ride?”

  “Nope, I’ve never had a professional trainer in the art of sex.”

  “And yet Betty still wants to marry you?” Thurgood shook his head and whistled as he looked Freddie in the eyes. “Man, whatever you need to do to get back on the good foot with my cousin, you need to do it. You can’t let nothing, not even high blood pressure, mess up your marriage plans.”

  Thurgood began thumbing the side of his cheek, as though to conjure up more advice. “If you telling the truth and every woman you ever slept with has stamped your lovemaking skills ‘return to sender,
’ then there’s all kinds of things you can use to get your manhood off the trade-in block. If you and Betty think y’all wanna consummate and make things legal, there are ways. I mean, you have the pump. It’s a hand pump, so I’m just assuming you ain’t been completely idle all these years, so you probably won’t have too much trouble with it. And then there’s Viagra and Cialis. I’m telling you there’s a pill or a cure for just about everything that ails you. We can even come up with something romantic to square away Betty’s misunderstanding of where you stand about marrying her.”

  Thurgood held out his hand to Freddie. “I normally look for a check when I counsel, but since you gonna be family soon, a handshake will do.”

  “Sure. Why not?” Freddie gave Thurgood a limp handshake.

  “Why the soft handshake, Freddie? Didn’t I help you?”

  “You helped with everything but my cancer.”

  The two men stood opposite one another, watching smiles fade and concern take their place.

  Chapter 16

  Sharvon’s loud voice carried in her normally subdued law office atmosphere. As a partner, she now had a large office overlooking Anderson’s historic Sadlers Creek State Park. She also had several staff members to aid her, but at that moment she didn’t care about any of that.

  “But why did you have to tell him what I did?”

  Thurgood had called Sharvon as soon as he left Freddie’s and was on his way around the corner to pick up Delilah. He’d recounted the conversation with the trustee. “He didn’t tell me not to say anything to you, just not to Betty or my Dee Dee, but my jaw about hit my kneecap when he told me that he had cancer.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” Sharvon couldn’t find the right words, because the revelation was sinking in too slowly.

  “You heard me right,” Thurgood snapped. “The man has cancer, and you’re upset because I told him what you’d said to Sasha about him and Betty not having a wedding! The man has cancer, Sharvon.”

  “I’m not trying to act like I don’t care. I do care, and I’m sorry about it. But I needed to tell Cousin Betty myself about what I did which I’d planned on doing tonight.” Sharvon’s eyes caught a glimpse of someone, possibly a staff member, standing in her doorway. With the phone in hand, she walked over and slammed the door shut. She heard a short yelp but didn’t care. “Things have gotten out of hand,” she continued. “Don’t say anything to her. I’ll tell her as soon as I get home.”

  “You’d better tell Betty something. She deserves to know.”

  “You can’t tell Delilah about the cancer, either. It needs telling in the right manner. I’ll figure something out!”

  “All of you have gotten me involved way beyond what I signed up for. Freddie don’t want me saying nothing to Betty about his cancer. You don’t want me saying nothing to Betty about you accidentally running your big mouth, and neither of you wants me to tell Dee Dee. I ain’t getting on Dee Dee’s bad side. Because if I don’t tell Dee Dee, then I don’t get no Dee Dee! No excuses, gal. You got until tonight. Around midnight I’m spilling my guts to my wife!”

  “Thurgood, I’m only asking that you keep it quiet for a little while longer,” Sharvon pleaded.

  The insistence in Sharvon’s voice caught Thurgood off guard. “For someone who’s so sure of herself, you sound scared to death. What else is going on, Sharvon?”

  Sharvon put down the phone without answering Thurgood. She’d already promised Leotis several days ago that she’d tell her cousin Betty the truth. He’d promised not to say anything to Freddie until she did. Even during the two evenings this week when they had had an impromptu dinner, she’d enjoyed it so much, she hadn’t given much thought to following through with her promise. They hadn’t mentioned Ima, either, and that’d given her some hope that perhaps Leotis wasn’t as enamored of Ima as she’d thought. The last thing she wanted was to have him distrust her or her word.

  Thurgood had just hung up from talking to Sharvon when he pulled into Sister Betty’s driveway. Delilah came running outside to meet him, waving good-bye to Sister Betty as she did.

  “Thurgood,” Delilah said before getting completely inside the car and pulling on her seat belt. “You won’t believe what’s happening with your cousin Betty. It’s worse than we thought. Your cousin Betty is clueless.”

  “Tell me about it!” Thurgood snapped. He hadn’t meant to be harsh, but it was too late.

  “Something tells me that things didn’t go any better with Freddie than they did with me and your cousin Betty. Do you wanna go first?”

  Thurgood pulled out of the driveway and began slowly driving away. “No, Dee Dee,” he told her. “You go first. I’ve got until midnight, so take your time.”

  Much to Sharvon’s surprise, when she made it home, Sister Betty was gone. She’d left a note saying she was attending prayer and testimony service. She’d gotten a surprise visit from Leotis, and he’d convinced her to ride with him to the church. She’d also written that Sharvon was welcome to join them if she got home in time.

  Sharvon’s debate about going didn’t last long. She checked her watch. It was almost seven o’clock, but she knew prayer meeting didn’t begin until seven thirty. “So much is going on around here with all this confusion and secrecy, Father God, that I need to meet you on hallowed ground.”

  Before she had a chance to change her mind, she changed from her professional work clothes into something more comfortable but still appropriate for prayer meeting. Instead of a pantsuit, which she often favored, she wore a simple peach-colored dress with buttons down the front and a hem to her knees. She tied her hair back into a ponytail and donned a pair of closed-toe sandals.

  Looking in the mirror, she said, “The last thing I want to do is have some gossipy church folks talking about what Sister Betty’s cousin wore to a prayer meeting.”

  Sharvon grabbed her car keys and headed out the door, suddenly grinning, reminding herself that there’d still been no mention of that trashy Ima. She’d already decided that Ima had taken herself out of the running by being too loose and flirtatious.

  One of the deacons, a short, squatty, coffee-complexioned man named Deacon Belcher, had bad acne and worse breath. He started the prayer meeting with scripture and prayer. Every time he tried to scream the Lord’s name to draw the Lord nearer, several folks on the first two pews leaned back, pinching their noses.

  Bea sat on the first pew, by the pulpit. She began waving her fan about. “God ain’t waiting on no slackers,” Bea said aloud. “We better have some juicy, hot buttered testimonies tonight.”

  “That’s right,” Sasha said loudly as she entered the sanctuary. Using her cane, she tapped the sides of several pews as she walked slowly down the center aisle. Until she stopped suddenly, Sasha looked angelic in her usual all-white two-piece outfit and white orthopedic Hush Puppies. She aimed her Bible, in one hand, and her cane, in the other, at one of the members.

  “Tonight’s your night to come clean,” Sasha shouted at a young woman. The woman and her three children were sitting on the same pew as Bea. The young woman’s children, two boys and a girl, barely looked more than nine months apart. “God knows you’ve been playing Jezebel, and we ain’t buying no baby daddy lies tonight.”

  Sasha, with her head held high, as though she’d just ordained a princess instead of beheading one, smiled. She eased into the seat left vacant by the sobbing young woman, who’d quickly gathered her small brood and fled the sanctuary. Placing her Bible on her lap, Sasha quickly turned to face those seated behind her. She nodded and glared when she heard a collective sigh throughout the sanctuary from those she hadn’t called out . . . yet.

  Leotis, dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a plain white short-sleeved shirt, finally entered the sanctuary. Elder Batty, Sister Betty, and two other elders followed. He scanned his members, who sat somberly, as though they were attending a funeral instead of a prayer and testimony service. No sooner had he approached the pulpit than he saw both Bea and Sasha grin
ning. “What have they done now?” he muttered.

  Rather than address at that moment whatever Bea and Sasha had done, Leotis decided he’d let God handle it. There were other immediate concerns, because folks didn’t attend prayer and testimony service because they had nothing to pray or praise God about. Leotis nodded toward the organist, who had been sitting there the entire time with his fingers poised above the keys. “Brother Cletus, let us begin with a song.”

  Once they’d sung their hymns and delivered the welcome address for those attending for the first time, it was Elder Batty’s turn to lead the service. He walked calmly to the microphone stand in the middle of the floor and nodded toward Leotis, as protocol demanded. “Praise Him, Reverend.”

  Elder Batty was dressed in all gray, with suspenders holding up his pants and a wide belt around his fat stomach making him resemble a kangaroo. Pulling on his suspenders, he leaned into the microphone, saying, “You just do whatever the Lord lays on your heart. This ain’t no beauty contest, so if you wanna cry and look ugly, that’s okay. And we’re not looking for professional prayer warriors or testa-lying.” The sound of giggles sprang forth. “I was just checking to see who was paying attention.” Elder Batty laughed.

  Because it was toward the end of summer and people were still on vacation or otherwise occupied, there was barely one hundred people at the service that night. As the service continued, Sister Betty listened to testimonies. Many who attended wanted God’s help with their finances, especially with finding a job or getting out of debt. She joined in, touching and agreeing with them, realizing how blessed she was not to have those concerns.

  “Lord, I shouldn’t have stayed away so long. I could’ve been here praying, just like I’ve been doing for years,” she murmured as her cheeks reddened. She hung her head for several seconds.