Promise Kept (Perry Skky Jr.)

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Like yo’ fat short self is going to do something to somebody,” Straw said to Markus.

  “Oh, Perry, man, move out the way, I got this.”

  “Okay, hold up man! Hold up. I just want to say something and then y’all can do whatever y’all want to do.” Looking around at all the angry faces I prayed, Lord, I want to tell all these angry brothers about You. Give me the words to say. I need the words that won’t back down, for all of those in front of me, help me be like Joshua and knock it down.

  “What’s up? You wanted our attention,” Straw said, stepping up in my face again. “What you got to say?”

  “There’s more to this life than living and dying. We care about our honor and no one wants to get punked, and you already saw one of your own die in front of your face. Being on this earth is not all that it’s about and sooner or later we all are going to die. Yeah, it may seem like we’re tough; smoking weed, drinking, getting high, banging girls, slinging cash. All that may give you a quick rush, even being a football player and being on that field might give you a rush,” I said as I turned around and looked at my teammates. “Maybe a spot on the team is what you’re seeking, but nothing can satisfy you like the love of God.”

  “Ha! Whatever, man, ain’t nobody trying to hear that,” Straw said as he turned around, but I dashed in front of him and made him look me in the eye.

  “If you died tomorrow, Straw, can you honestly say you will be with God or do you think you will burn in Hell? You think having no money and no honeys is a horrible way to exist? Try darkness and damnation.”

  “Whatever man, God can’t do nothing with me. So I ain’t trying to hang out with Him.”

  “That’s just the thing, God doesn’t condemn. He doesn’t even care about your past. Actually, if you read the Bible, the more screwed up your life is the happier He is to change it.”

  “Why you love Him so much?” Markus came over and asked. “You Perry Skky, for real you got it going on without Him.”

  “Naw, bro let’s get it right. I am who I am because of Him. Any day He can take away my athletic ability. I could be in a car accident and my mind could get screwed.” I hit my chest. “But, what’s on the inside though? What’s in my heart is what saves me and what gives me life. I knew He didn’t just send me here to play ball. Yeah, it’s a gift. I like it, it’s cool, but I want to be able to talk to that dude to tell him about the Lord so he wouldn’t be thinking that I was just—”

  “Man, I ain’t ready for a church service,” some of Straw’s boys said. They got their brown paper bag and headed to the door. “Straw, you coming?”

  The door opened from the other side. It was Mario. He said, “Man, where y’all going?”

  I quickly went over to Mario and said, “How you gon’ invite them here bringing all of this crap?”

  “Man, what are you talking about?” he said, clearly having no clue as to what I was talking about. I pointed to the joint on the floor.

  “Wait, wait, wait! Who brought all of this in here? Aw, Straw, come on, man. I told you I wanted you to come and hang out with my boys at Tech, not bring stuff to get them in trouble. If you had to bring that then you shouldn’t have came, man, dang. I know I’m late, but I’m holding down a little pizza job, but it’s a good thing because I got food. Naw, man, I didn’t want you to bring all of that around my boys. They could end up losing their scholarships.”

  “It’s not your place though,” Saxon said, entering into our conversation.

  “Do you really want all of this in here?” I looked at him boldly and asked, “Did you hear anything that I have said, do you care about your life for real? I mean you were almost out of here lying in the hospital, technically dead. Now that you’re back and with us you want to throw all of that away?”

  Saxon just looked at me. We had never talked about his experience being in a coma; but obviously it was one that had shaken him up a bit. So, I wanted everybody in the room to grab each other’s hands and say “I Love God,” but I knew realistically that just wasn’t going to happen.

  Deuce then came up behind me and said, “I have never been the same since the Lord came into my soul. I ain’t never had no daddy and since He and I have been tight I ain’t wanted for nothing. All I have to do is get on my knees and pray and before I get up it’s like He provides peace. Even when I didn’t think I could quit hitting the bottle He gave me a way out. Listen to Perry y’all. What he’s saying is real. You ain’t tried God for yourself.” He just shook his head and walked off.

  So I jumped back in and said, “Y’all ain’t trying to free yourselves? What you got to lose in trying?” I turned around and walked out after Deuce. I felt good that they had heard the Gospel. I had to let God do what He was going to do with them.

  “You know my dad’s an atheist?” Collin said to me as we worked out in the gym. The weights slid out from under my hands and the 400-pound bar hit my chest.

  “Hey man, you alright?” Collin said as he pulled up the bar to help me from crushing my abs. I sat up and grabbed a drink of my water. “You heard what I said, right?”

  “Yeah, I heard you. Man, I know that’s got to be tough having a dad with that view. But what about you?” I asked, shooting straight to the point. “You think there is a God?”

  I liked Mr. Cox a lot, and though we never talked about our faith, I didn’t perceive him to be someone who didn’t believe in God. He didn’t look like, act like, talk like any of that.

  “Lance and I have been talking about this a lot,” Collin admitted as he sat on the other side of the bench press. “See, when you know a lot of men who go to church and they are sleeping around on their wives, not paying taxes, beating up their children, they seem so hypocritical. For the longest time I definitely didn’t see a reason for me saying that I wanted to be like that. I thought they were all fake, and if they were representing a God that was good and allowed you to prosper and you still were doing cruel things, why would I think He was real?”

  I sat back and listened to Collin make complete sense.

  “Someone told me a long time ago that the only Jesus someone will see is the Jesus in you, and for most Christians, even me, it’s hard to live the right way. Unfortunately when we sin we bring down His name. My mom, though, is a Catholic. How she got with my dad is probably the main reason I don’t spend time with any of my grandparents. It divided our families.”

  “Yeah, I see how,” I said.

  “She and I have been talking more since I got home. It didn’t matter how I was living my life before, I just wanted it to be all over. But when I survived, she opened up to me and told me that I had another chance. The Lord had spared me for some reason. My mom never talked to me about God at all; my dad wouldn’t allow her to raise me that way. But when she thought she lost her son, she came to me so purely and she asked me to seek out my salvation for myself.” He started looking heavenward. “God, if you’re up there I don’t want to be empty anymore. I don’t want to be in a place where I am so desperate that I try to harm myself with pain. Aw, what am I doing, You’re not real.”

  I quickly got up off the bench and went to him. “Oh yes, He is real and He hears you. In order to have a relationship with Him all you have to do is ask.”

  I felt the devil in the room playing tricks on us both, circling around us saying, Nana nana. He’s not going to become saved. Say what you want to Perry, it’s not going to work. You might as well quit. He is mine.

  So I started saying more and more about why he needed Christ. I was so fired up I was determined to win, and before our time was up Collin had dropped to his knees. We were two grown men with watery eyes praying for God’s grace to save him.

  Later that evening we made our way back to our apartment to find that Rev. Shadrach, Lance’s dad, was visiting.

  “Boys, it’s good to see you both,” the Reverend said.

  I couldn’t stop smiling because my friend had accepted Christ today. With all the sorrow I had felt when someone
died in front of me who didn’t know the Lord at all, I felt immense joy in a man reborn.

  “I know you men have been through a lot. The pressures of college life, the demands of your athletics, I’m sure girls are thrown in there somewhere. I’ve been praying for you daily and I just felt like I needed to come up here and let you guys know that there is a God in Heaven that is about all four of you. Lance, He wanted me to tell you to give Him more.” His son looked away; I could tell he was humbled in that he knew he needed to give God his best. “Deuce, I’ve been knowing you since high school. You made a bold proclamation with Him recently and He’s proud.” Deuce hit me on the shoulder, nodding his head. He did take a bold stance. “And Collin. He’s glad to have you as one of His children.”

  I was never one that was big on prophecy but everything the Rev. Shadrach was saying was accurate. Then he turned around and looked at me.

  “He told me to tell you, son, don’t give up telling the lost about who He is. Some you immediately win for Christ, and some it may take a while. But what you’re doing now, telling young men and women how much they need Him, He’s called you too.” He looked at all four of us and said, “God will never leave you or forsake you. You may not agree with His methods but His love is higher and His ways are pure. Don’t stop following Him and don’t stop telling others, because whether you have been with Him for a day or all your life, He’s enough.” Rev. Shadrach got his keys, opened up the door and left.

  Collin leaned back on the sofa and said out loud, “He’s enough.” The rest of us nodded but kept silent. I was truly thankful God sent us a word. That was enough.

  It was Easter weekend and I was home. Damarius had asked Cole and myself over to his apartment. Honestly, I had no gut feeling about what could be going wrong, but I did know he sounded serious. Before I had dinner with my family I headed over to his place.

  “Hey boy!” Cole said as soon as I got out of my car.

  “What, you didn’t go in?” I asked.

  “Naw man, I was waiting on you. He sounded all scared and stuff, I don’t know what he wants to tell us.”

  “How long you been waiting out here?”

  “Not long, about forty minutes.”

  “Boy, I know you ain’t been waiting this long.”

  “Seriously, I can’t deal with this stuff. You always have the right things to say. He might need prayer or something—what am I going to say?”

  “Cole, you know the Lord. You don’t talk to Him now?”

  “I say the Lord’s prayer, you know, before football games and stuff. I don’t even know none of those fancy words. He wouldn’t even understand me.”

  “Cole, the Lord is not like that. Whatever you want to say to Him, He already knows what’s in your heart. He just needs you to surrender yourself to Him so He can act.”

  He just looked at me and took it all in. God was a good God and He loved us. I don’t know why everybody thought He was so unapproachable. He was all knowing, all powerful and all superior and stuff, but He had His eye on the sparrow. He could read your heart even if no words were uttered.

  “Bout time y’all got here!” Damarius said, opening the door before we even knocked. “A brother could be dying and his boys would take forever to come over and see about him.”

  “Aw man, but we’re here,” Cole said, walking in the door.

  We went into the bedroom and I flashed back to my first drunk experience. It was our senior year and he punked me into drinking; it was one beer after another and the next thing I knew I was on his bed feeling like my heart was about to beat out of my chest. The place was eerie to me, but I tried to block that out and focus on him. Damarius was twiddling his thumbs and Cole was looking at the ceiling. What was all of that about? Damarius called us over here; he needed to get right to the point so I said, “Alright, we’re here now. What’s up?”

  “I’m going to war. I enrolled into the army.”

  I was speechless. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard him say.

  Cole sat up and said, “Naw man, you ain’t doing that, it’s not our war to fight.”

  “I already enrolled, Cole, so chill, man. My cousin up north—you know my family that I went to see when Ciara died?”

  “Yeah,” I said finally speaking, “what about them?”

  “Well, he just died over there I want to go get payback.”

  “Are you feeling okay?” Cole said as he went over to try and lay his hand on Damarius’ forehead. Of course Damarius slapped it off.

  “I’m fine, I’m fine. I know what I have to do. It’s a family thing, plus I want to protect our homeland.”

  “Damarius, people are really killing people over there, man. You just talked about your cousin. You’re in school—why would you let that all go to go join the army?”

  “I told my cousin that if anything ever happen to him while he was in the army that I would go and defend his honor. But I’m going to be honest with y’all, y’all my boys and have been since grade school. I’m a little nervous.”

  “When do you head out?” I asked.

  “I leave tomorrow and only for a month, but I just wanted to wait until you guys came home for the holidays. Really, I don’t want anyone to talk me out of it. I know once I get there I’ll do my thing. School wasn’t for me, I do want a purpose to my life. I just wanted to ask you Perry, what if I don’t make it over there? What’s going to happen to me?”

  I had talked about God for the last couple of years. We had got into it so badly that I had vowed never to bring it up again and now he was asking me what I thought would happen to him if he went to fight on foreign soil and didn’t return.

  “I don’t know what you did when it came to your salvation Damarius, but I know you have to make sure that it is secure. We never know when our last day is. Cole and I could leave and get into a car accident, though it is unlikely. But when you go off to war the risk of death becomes heightened. So you just need to make sure your house is in order, and I don’t mean financially and all of those things. I know the government has stuff in place for all of the soldiers, but I’m talking about your heart,” I said as I looked my friend in the face. I put my index finger straight into his chest. “Does God know you? Is your name written in the Lamb’s book of Life? If a bullet went through you and caused you to never breathe on this side of Heaven again, would your soul move on?”

  The three of us were becoming emotional, but we held back the tears. The reality was that what Damarius was about to do was dangerous. But as we held hands and got on our knees and prayed Damarius said, “God, I don’t know if I know who You are or not. I know I pray to You sometimes and I know there are times when I am so angry with You, please just forgive me. Know that I need You in my life and I want to be with You in Heaven.”

  I didn’t like the fact that I basically had to come over to my friend’s house to say goodbye, but if this is what it took to make sure he knew God, it was well worth it, spreading God’s word.

  13

  Pouting for Sure

  “Where in the world have you been?” my sister screamed at me as soon as I got out of my car at my folks’ house on Easter Sunday.

  “I told y’all I would be right back, dang,” I said, not wanting to give her the same attitude she was obviously giving me. But a brother was saddened about the news of his friend departing for overseas. She didn’t want to mess with me at that point, but when I tried to get around her she stood in front of me. “Payton, come on now. I’m trying to change out of this suit.”

  “We’ve been waiting here for you for two hours; you said you would be right back, Perry. Does everything have to be around you all of the time?”

  “Y’all could have ate if that is what this is all about. Obviously something came up and I was there for someone else. It’s not about me, I’m tired of you always alluding to that, girl, dang. I remember you bossing me around when we were little but if you haven’t noticed, I tower over you now.”

  I glared at
her, and when she wouldn’t move I shoved her slightly out of my way, letting her know that I did have power. I wasn’t playing with her. She was away at college just like me, and when she was at home she was spending time with Tad, so she really wasn’t home that much, either. So now, just because I was away for a little longer than she thought was okay, I had to get the third degree.

  But before I could step in the house she said to me, “Dad has cancer, okay.”

  I put my hand on my head and rubbed it a bit. I couldn’t move. Surely she didn’t say what I thought she said. I know it had been a while since I had talked to my parents and I had just come up this morning for church, and my dad had asked me via voicemail to come as soon as I could. Was this what he had wanted to talk about? Was what Payton telling me for real? Did my dad have cancer?

  “Hmm hmm. See, now you want to listen. I hate you Perry, I hate you. It’s all your fault.” She came over to me and pounded her fists on my chest. “I told you a month ago that we needed him to get tested and you wouldn’t help me. He waited, and maybe he waited too late, and now he has cancer.”

  I didn’t budge. She was right. I had dismissed what she was saying then, and now I wished I would have believed her, I wished I would have helped, I wished I would have done more. Oh my Gosh, THIS WAS MY FAULT! I couldn’t even hold my sister but I let her cry next to my heart.

  My mom came outside and said, “Payton, you cannot stand here and say this is anyone’s fault. Yes, early testing helps, but a few weeks ago? Come on sweetie, he should have gone in two years ago, five years ago at age forty-five. He’s been stubborn for the longest time. Your father doesn’t blame either one of you for this.”

  “Aw, Mom,” Payton said, leaving my arms for my mother’s. For some reason my mother was saying that it wasn’t my fault, but whatever. I didn’t even agree with her logic, how could I not blame myself? I hadn’t been the best son; I had been consumed with my life, my friends’ problems, my world, my drama. I could have made my parents a part of my world, but I had stepped away, I had pulled away. I had been every place but connected to them, and finally I showed up late and got the news that my father had cancer. If I was a super hero I would have torn the house down—that’s just how bad I felt, that’s just how angry I was. My mother and sister went inside and I just leaned my head up against the bricks. I looked up at the sky and I couldn’t even manage to argue with the Lord. God was all powerful, all knowing. Here I was telling people how He would make things right, so why didn’t He take care of my dad? I could see if I wasn’t doing things His way, but I had been good, I had been strong—and then I felt someone touch my shoulder.