Daisy Does it Herself

by Gracie Player

  Wolf whined, looking sorry for himself.

  ‘Can dogs eat chocolate?’ I asked. I was pretty sure it was poisonous to them. ‘Nope,’ Alex said, grinning. ‘But he doesn’t know that.’

  Less immune to Wolf’s charms, I ruffled the short fur above his eyes. ‘Poor Wolf,’ I said. ‘No hard feelings. You just wanted to roll out the red carpet, didn’t you, and say a great big hello.’

  ‘Not sure you’re sending out the right signal there.’

  ‘Come on,’ I said. ‘I bet you spoil him something rotten.’

  Alex held his hands up, admitting as much. ‘You’ve got me. Guilty as charged. I’ve created a monster.’

  Tutting, I stroked the top of Wolf’s head. ‘Have you heard what he’s calling you, Wolf? A monster. That’s not right, is it, boy?’ Wolf rolled his eyes in full agreement, his tail thumping double time against the floor.

  For the last few minutes, I’d forgotten my troubles. Only now did they return to me. On entering the bookshop, I’d guessed it was the kind of place where you could lose yourself easily. But however much I wanted to do just that, it was time to square up to reality again. I had a train back to London to catch.

  ‘So,’ Alex said, as if he’d guessed what I was thinking. ‘You don’t look like you’re from around here.’

  I gave a watery laugh. ‘I don’t even know where here is,’ I admitted.

  ‘For the record, deepest, darkest Derbyshire. But how can that be? You must have some idea of where you’ve got to.’

  ‘Nope. Not really. To be honest, the whole day’s been a bit of a blur.’

  ‘Are you in some sort of trouble?’ He pushed his glasses back onto his nose and peered at me through them, as though they could somehow help him figure me out. Good luck with that, I thought. I found myself tearing up again. My bottom lip started to wobble.

  ‘Hey,’ Alex said. ‘It’s okay, whatever it is, you can tell me. I don’t get beautiful, mysterious strangers turning up on my doorstep just every day.’

  Beautiful! I wiped my nose with my sleeve. Alex did that cute half-smile again and I thought he was probably just being kind, not taking the piss.

  ‘Honestly,’ he said. ‘This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me all week.’

  ‘I wouldn’t know where to start,’ I said.

  ‘At the beginning?’

  I laughed bleakly at the scale of the challenge. ‘We’d be here all night in that case.’

  Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t have anywhere else to be.’

  ‘Speaking of which, what time is it?’ I asked, deftly changing the subject. ‘I have a train back to London I need to catch.’

  Alex nodded at a clock on the wall. Oh no, it was six already! Alarmed by the late hour, I jumped up from my seat in a panic.

  ‘London, you say?’

  I nodded.

  ‘That’s a hell of a trek.’

  It was hard to disagree. But worse than the length of the journey was the terrible uncertainty awaiting me at the end of it.

  ‘Are there any hotels around here?’ I asked. ‘Preferably one star or no star. Something easy on the pocket.’

  That seemed like the best bet, at least for one night. I needed to buy myself a little breathing space.

  Alex shook his head. ‘Not in Upper Finlay. You’d have to go another dozen miles to find anything that remotely resembled a budget option. Even then, I wouldn’t say The Carlyle was all that cheap.’

  I hemmed and hawed, trying to think on my feet, racked with terrible indecision.

  To be honest, I had been feeling so comfortable with Alex I’d almost forgotten the reason I was here. I suddenly felt the day crashing back down on me like a lead weight.

  ‘Well, I can’t stay here forever,’ I said, looking around the homely bookshop.

  ‘Maybe that’s not such a crazy idea,’ Alex said. He rubbed his hand over a jaw that was raspy with stubble.

  I looked at him in astonishment. Laughing, I said, ‘You think I should stay here forever?’

  ‘Bit soon?’ Alex said.

  ‘Um…’

  ‘Listen,’ Alex said, ‘I can take you to the train station, but Daisy…’ My name came out gravelly, deep. It was the second time he’d said my name and I liked it just as much as I had the first time.

  ‘You could stay here if you wanted.’

  Oh boy, was this going to be some sort of Indecent Proposal type situation? I’m listening, my ovaries said.

  ‘Just for tonight I mean,’ Alex said, a half-smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. ‘There’s a room upstairs that you’re welcome to use. It’s a bit scruffy around the edges, but it’s clean and comfortable enough.’

  Sinking into bed and being done with this horrible day sounded wonderful. But of course, he was a total stranger. Alex must have caught my expression.

  ‘It locks from the inside,’ he said, deadpan.

  ‘Oh no,’ I said, ‘it’s not that.’ Although that was exactly what it was. ‘It’s just that I wouldn’t want to be a bother.’

  ‘No bother at all. It’s not too often I get to help out a damsel in distress.’

  I lifted an eyebrow.

  ‘Too much?’ Alex said.

  Now I was the one smiling. I could hardly have felt more vulnerable, and I didn’t know Alex from Adam, yet somehow I was completely relaxed. I decided to trust my instincts and give him the benefit of the doubt.

  ‘Are you absolutely sure? It really isn’t too much trouble?’

  Alex waved the suggestion away. ‘Not at all. It’s only going to waste. I’ve been looking to rent out the flat for a while now. It’s just sitting empty.’

  ‘In that case, yes please. I’d love to take you up on your offer.’

  ‘Great,’ Alex said, clapping his hands together. Wolf gave a little yelp and leapt to his feet. We both laughed, breaking the tension.

  ‘So you don’t live on the premises yourself?’

  ‘No, I bought a cottage just down the road a few years back. Everyone keeps saying you have to own property, don’t they? So that’s what I did—I took the plunge and signed up to a lifetime of debt.’

  ‘Still, must be nice. Having your own place, I mean.’

  I, Daisy Monroe, currently had about as much chance of owning my own house as flying to the moon.

  ‘Yeah. It’s great. You’re right; I shouldn’t grumble.’

  ‘Grumble away,’ I said. ‘Go for it.’

  Alex smiled again. ‘First things first, let’s get you fixed up. Daisy, if you’d care to follow me…’

  ‘Sounds like a plan.’

  Eleven

  ‘The café’s just there.’ He pointed it out as we clattered up another spiral staircase. This place was like an Escher print—normal laws of gravity need not apply.

  ‘We closed it early today. Not much trade, we’re a bit short-handed at the moment, but I can bring you up some homemade soup if you like?’

  Boy did I.

  We arrived on the landing of the first floor. Alex felt around to his right and flicked the light switch on, but the shaded bulb didn’t do much to scatter the gloom.

  The upstairs hallway was dark and a bit dreary, which triggered another flurry of misgivings. Alex seemed nice and there was no doubt he was attractive. Didn’t mean he wasn’t planning to…oh I don’t know, whatever it was serial killers did to foolish young ladies who blithely followed them up dark flights of stairs. If this was a horror movie, I’d definitely be the first one to get it.

  As I dawdled a few steps behind Alex, Wolf came up behind me and butted the back of my calves, giving me an encouraging nudge.

  ‘Some friend you are,’ I muttered, reaching down to tug his ears.

  ‘What’s that?’ Alex said over his shoulder.

  ‘Oh, nothing. I was jus
t chatting with Wolf here.’

  ‘Right. Well, here we are. The royal suite awaits you.’

  With a little ceremonial bow, he pushed the door back and invited me to enter. By that point I was too knackered to flee anyway – axe murderer or not – and so I dragged myself forwards for a peek.

  The attic room was much better than I had hoped, brightly lit and spotlessly clean with large south-facing bay windows. A king-sized bed graced the near wall and antique furniture was much in evidence—an oak desk, a Narnia-style wardrobe, a plush chaise longue in one corner. And through the open door at the far end, I could see the corner of what might have been a roll-top bath. Oh God, a bath!

  Stepping inside, I went over to the window and checked the scenery. Directly below, a stretch of canal wound past, bordered by a tree-lined path. Behind it, a clutch of scenic hilltops lay off in the middle distance. It was all a delightful surprise after the gloomy hallway.

  Alex stayed by the door. ‘Well, this is it,’ he said. ‘Feel free to make yourself at home. It’s not much, but I hope it will do for one night.’

  ‘It’s great,’ I said. ‘Perfect. I can’t thank you enough.’

  It really was perfect. Finally, I felt a little of the weight of the day slip away. This wasn’t the answer to my problems, not by a long shot, but it felt like a moment of calm in the eye of a storm. Somewhere I could finally stop and process in safety.

  Alex’s playful smile reappeared. ‘You can thank me by having some soup.’

  ‘Well,’ I said, ‘I guess I could manage that…if there’s some left over?’

  ‘Plenty,’ he said. ‘Just needs reheating. It’ll only take a tick. I’ve got to finish closing up first though. Chill out for a bit, get settled in. Have a bath if you like, it’s just through there—please, feel free.’

  With that further kindness, and one last smile, Alex turned and left.

  Twelve

  Listening to the sound of Alex’s retreating footsteps, I went over to the door and locked it from the inside. My instincts had been a little off recently, especially if today’s bolts from the blue were anything to judge by. But right now I felt that Alex was as kind and genuine as he appeared to be. So locking the door wasn’t so much to protect me from him as to create a barrier against the outside world. It felt good to turn the key and shut myself off from this totally crappy day.

  Alone in the quiet, I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. I kicked off my shoes and stood there for a moment, wondering what to do next.

  Then I padded over to the bed and sank onto it. I put my head in my hands and sat. Thinking nothing. Just breathing.

  Finally, I looked over at the bathroom. The claw-footed tub called out to me. A nice long soak was definitely on the agenda. I didn’t need telling twice. But before I poured the water, I knew there was a phone call I had to make. I pulled my phone from my handbag and reluctantly switched it back on.

  Oh boy. I had missed several calls from Mum. It was unusual for her to call me twice in one day, let alone half a dozen times. I’d planned to ring her to let her know I was safe, on the off-chance Phil had gotten in touch and told her what was going on. Seeing the string of missed calls, one after the other, removed any doubt. She knows!

  Phil hadn’t called me. I wasn’t sure if this was sensible on his part or just plain insulting. He probably thought the whole thing would blow over if he gave me a day or two to come to my senses. In the meantime, he’d enlisted Mum.

  That couldn’t have been an easy conversation. At least that was my first thought. But then I remembered Phil’s way with words and the fact he could do no wrong in Mum’s eyes. After their little chat, they’d probably reached the conclusion that the problem lay with me. I didn’t suppose she’d be shy in telling me so either. Right now I really didn’t want to hear it.

  For a moment I considered simply texting and switching the phone back off. I sighed. Best to just get it over with.

  I questioned myself. Could I ever find a way to forgive Phil? At that moment I couldn’t even think about it. All I could see in my mind was him and Frannie entwined passionately. A flashback that made me want to puke.

  I realised that no one knew I’d also lost my job. Not even Phil. I was totally stuck. No job, no home, no boyfriend. Ruby was away travelling. Two months wages, which was all I had left, wasn’t going to last long. I was basically homeless. That was what it had come to. After waking ready to accept a shiny new promotion, I’d ended the day taking refuge in a stranger’s flat. In Derbyshire, of all places. Deepest, darkest Derbyshire. Thinking back on how positive I’d felt that morning, the staggering plummet was hard to swallow.

  I had nothing. Unless I went back to Phil. If he even wanted me back. The thought pierced my heart and I reeled from the sudden shock of it. I hadn’t even considered the possibility that this separation might work both ways. I’d assumed he’d be contrite, full of regret. But I didn’t know how serious this thing with Francesca was. God, how long had it been going on? Was this the first time? Maybe Phil saw it as a blessing. Now that I finally knew, he could drop the pretence and stop sneaking around behind my back. Maybe he and Frannie would move in together, make themselves a love nest. The thought filled me with a spiralling, sick dread. I had to know either way.

  With shaking hands, I swiped through my contacts and dialled Mum’s number. She picked up on the second ring.

  ‘Daisy, is that you?’

  ‘Hi Mum,’ I said, my voice flat. I realised again how drained I was.

  ‘Daisy, where on earth are you? We’ve been worried sick.’

  ‘We?’

  ‘I’ve had Phillip on the phone,’ Mum said. ‘He’s absolutely frantic with worry.’ I summoned the will to respond, my heart already sinking at her tone, but she kept talking. ‘Sweetheart, you can’t just disappear like this,’ Mum said. ‘I don’t know about you, but that was not the way I was raised.’

  ‘Really, Mum?’ I said, almost amused. ‘Did Phillip tell you what happened?’

  ‘Of course he did. He’s behaved quite appallingly, but you have to give him that, Daisy. He’s man enough to own his mistakes.’

  ‘I don’t even know how to respond to that.’

  ‘These things happen in relationships, darling. People get too comfortable. Stop making an effort. And well, Daisy, some women…they just have to work a little harder than others to keep their man interested. Unfair, I know. But true.’

  My chest felt tight. ‘Please Mum, can’t you just support me for once? Fight my corner instead of giving me frankly insulting advice?’

  My voice wobbled. I hated how weak it sounded. I was furious to find my eyes welling up yet again.

  ‘Oh Daisy,’ Mum said, ‘this is a big part of the problem; you’ve always been so sensitive. It’s like you wilfully misinterpret me. I’ve spoken to my friends about this, you know. And my therapist.’

  Oh yes, the mythical therapist. Not a very good one if you ask me.

  ‘Anyway, they all agree that I can’t just give, give, give and get nothing back. It has to be a two-way street. Besides, if a mother can’t be honest with her daughter, I don’t know who can.’

  From the depths of my awful misery, I summoned the will to reply. ‘I need somewhere to stay,’ I said, cutting her off. There was a pause at the end of the line.

  ‘Mum?’

  ‘Daisy, love, you have that beautiful home with Phillip.’

  ‘I can’t go back there, not right now,’ I said. Another long pause. She’s going to make me ask.

  ‘I thought I could come and stay with you and Gerald, just for a little while.’ As I heard myself say this, I realised how desperate I must be. I could hardly think of a worse shelter from the storm than their semi in Chiswick. The endless lectures I’d have to listen to. The constant recap of my faults and failings as a daughter, a girlfriend. A bloody office temp
!

  What were my options though? I didn’t appear to have any. Plus, the small childish part of me just wanted her to offer. To tell me to come back home, even though it wasn’t my home, not really.

  It was a crazy idea at heart, a sign of my desperation. For one thing, it would mean me disturbing Gerald’s vast rail network. He’d recently taken over the spare room, as well as the basement, and built himself a replica of the Trans-Pennine route. I couldn’t see either one of them allowing me to camp out there in close proximity. There was always the danger I’d roll over and accidentally crush Huddersfield Station during the night.

  There was silence on the other end of the line. ‘Mum, are you still there?’

  ‘Yes dear,’ Mum said. ‘It’s just that I really think you ought to go back home and try to sort this out with Phillip as soon as possible, especially if this woman has got her hooks into him. They’re only going to sink in deeper the longer you leave it.’ Suddenly it felt like all the air was being slowly sucked out of the room. ‘Don’t cede the home ground is what I’m saying. You need to stand firm. Be resolute. Take it on the chin if you have to.’

  ‘But Mum…’ I said.

  ‘Especially with a man like Phil. I mean you don’t want to give up that lovely house, do you? All the benefits that relationship brings—do I really need to spell them out for you? Think about where you were before you met him. Do you really want to go back?’

  I sighed and curled up on the bed, letting the phone flop onto the pillow. As usual, my participation was not required in the conversation. My heart ached. Everything ached.

  ‘It’s okay, Mum,’ I said, picking up the phone again. ‘I’ll find somewhere. Don’t you worry about me.’

  ‘Can’t you stay at Ruby’s?’

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I’ll do that.’

  ‘Well then, there we go. Problem solved. And don’t forget what I told you. If you have any sense, you’ll make your way home in the morning.’

  ‘Mum, my battery’s going to die,’ I said, although this didn’t make the slightest bit of difference at her end. She was still talking, and telling me where I’d gone wrong, when I finally hung up.