Dangerous Depths (The Sea Monster Memoirs)

by Karen Amanda Hooper

  Sadness radiated from everyone, filling the pool. I hadn’t thought about what would happen if she tried transforming and using her legs. Her tail had been eaten by sharks, not her legs.

  “In human form I’d require a wheelchair,” she said softly. “Which is why I now prefer to be in the water at all times.”

  I couldn’t breathe for a minute. My stomach turned imagining what her legs must look like, and how much she must be suffering behind her strong and optimistic exterior. “Koraline, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.”

  “It’s okay. I wasn’t sure either, until I tried changing. It’s not a pretty sight. And it hurts worse than anything I’ve ever felt.”

  I put my hand over my mouth, half in shock and half at a loss for words. Pango slid off his seat and drifted over to her, resting his hand on her tail and silently comforting his sister.

  “I’ll take you to him,” Pango said to me. “I know where to find him.”

  “You should go now,” Treygan said. “It’s getting late.”

  “You’re not coming?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “You’ll get there much faster if you fly and carry Pango.”

  I wanted Treygan to come too, but I couldn’t carry both of them, and if I didn’t fly the store would probably be closed by the time we got there. I wanted to get past this roadblock as soon as possible. Before Rownan did something crazy or irreversible.

  Treygan and Pango stepped out of the pool, so I hugged Koraline and prepared to leave.

  “Thank you,” I told her. “Rownan would say the same.”

  “Yara?” Koraline wouldn’t look at me. “Tell Joel I’m very sorry.”

  “For what?”

  She kept her head down, picking at her fingernails. “He’ll know.”

  Jenna and Keeley braided flowers in my hair while I stacked twigs and leaves to make a new hut for them. Most likely, no one would ever use the building—they preferred being outside or in their water lilies—but constructing something for them made me feel useful.

  Keeley finished singing another one of her made-up songs, then sat on my shoulder and petted my cheek. “Sometimes I wish you could change back and be one of us again.”

  “Me too.” I sighed. “Me too.”

  “But isn’t it fun to be so big?” Jenna asked. “You’re so strong.” She flew in front of me with her balled fists punching the air. “Nobody can mess with you.”

  I gently pressed one of my knuckles to her punching hand. “You two are just as strong as I am.”

  “That’s not true,” Keeley argued. “Remember that time you lifted that fallen tree? You saved twelve sprites that day.”

  Jenna nodded vigorously. “And that was before they made you a siren! I could never lift a tree by myself.”

  “You could if you really needed to,” I assured her. “Something clicks inside when people you love are in danger. You summon strength you didn’t know you were capable of.”

  Keeley flexed her biceps and evaluated her pea-sized muscles. “I could do it. If the time came, I bet I could lift a tree.”

  Jenna snickered, but I liked seeing Keeley so confident.

  “I bet you could lift a tree with each hand,” I told her.

  Her eyes widened, and I could tell she was mentally picturing herself achieving such a feat. She flew in front of me and kissed the tip of my nose. “Don’t be silly! No sprite is that strong.”

  “If physical strength is equal to emotional strength, you and Jenna could move mountains.”

  Jenna and Keeley both laughed so hard they flipped backward.

  “Move mountains,” Jenna repeated, still laughing. “How preposterous!” She flew over to a patch of wild flowers and changed each one to varying shades of yellow. “I’d rather decorate the mountains with billions of yellow flowers.”

  I picked one and inhaled its lemony scent. I missed having a connection with flowers. I missed being able to color things in beautiful shades of red. “They would be the prettiest mountains in all the worlds.”

  “Prettier than Medusa’s,” Keeley said.

  Jenna’s buttercup skin blushed to almost orange. “Shucks, nothing is prettier than Medusa’s creations.”

  We all nodded in agreement.

  “Well,” I stretched my arms over my head. “I should probably get going.”

  “No, come to our dinner party,” Jenna pleaded. “I’m making berry tarts!”

  “I can’t. Otabia and Mariza will already be upset that I’ve been gone so long. I have to get back to them.”

  When I was with the sprites, I felt more like myself. I could laugh, have fun, and not feel judged by my siren sisters. Otabia and Mariza always urged me to be more seductive, to entrap more men, to steal more memories, and devour more souls. With them it was always take, take, take, and never give. I worried that no matter how hard I tried to please them, I would never live up to the expectations they had for me.

  “Come back soon, yes?” Keeley rubbed my eyebrow.

  “Of course.”

  Jenna kissed my nose. “I’ll save you a tart or two—or twelve.”

  “Twelve would make a decent appetizer.” I spread my wings and glanced over my shoulder at my two favorite souls in the world. Jenna and Keeley waved goodbye and blew kisses at me.

  I turned my back, wanting so badly to stay with them, but I did what was expected of me and flew to Sybarites Nest.

  ~

  I still wasn’t used to how large our nest was compared to the smaller imitation we had built in Earth.

  Our real nest sat atop three sky-scraping trees with trunks made of water and huge, hollow branches that I could crawl into. Leaves were everywhere, inside and out, and they could be frosted and on fire all in the same day, but they never died or fell from our trees. The walls of our nest were made of clouds that shifted and adapted to the seasons and our moods. My sisters would hide in the thicker pockets, making them difficult to find, and when we sang or called out for each other the mist would swallow our voices.

  I preferred our nest in Earth. It was cozier, and I didn’t have to search multiple rooms to find Otabia or Mariza.

  “You’re getting weak,” Mariza said, appearing like a brown shadow from her den.

  Otabia flew in above her in a blur of black. “We can feel how drained you are. Prepare to travel to the human realm. You must feed.”

  “That’s fine.” I waved my hand dismissively. “But I don’t think it’s a physical drain as much as it is emotional.”

  “Feeding will help that too,” Mariza said.

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you want to know why I’m upset?”

  Otabia preened her wings. Tiny black feathers disappeared into the floor of clouds below her. “Because Yara doesn’t need you. We already know that. It’s not our problem. However, you’re bringing us down with you, and we can’t allow it.”

  Sometimes I hated being connected to two sisters who barely gave a squat about me. “What’s the point of stealing human memories if I have no one to pass them on to? Yara is repulsed by the way we regurgitate.”

  Otabia’s tongue flicked away a lingering feather from her ebony lips. “Some siren you turned out to be.”

  “It’s so addicting.” Mariza strutted around the room, her hands gliding up and down her body. “The attention, the rush, the ecstasy. Men’s heads snapping up like dogs, zeroing in on you the instant they hear you sing. The way they can’t blink or look away, even as you tell them in delicious detail how you’re going to suck them dry and make them beg for mercy.” She nibbled on her pinky talon, seductively smiling at me. “The way they give themselves over, doing anything we ask, because they think their lust is going to be satisfied.”

  I walked over to a window, disinterested in Mariza’s play-by-play. “And then we take what we want and leave them a disheveled mess with a few less memories, a lot of insecurity, and doubting their own sanity. I know. I’ve done it plenty of times.”

  Mariza cooed as her wings ru
stled. The clouds around us buzzed with whispers of an electrical storm. She cackled loud and shrill. “Let’s go! I’m excited just thinking about it.”

  Maybe feeding would make me feel better. I used to enjoy being a siren. I used to get off on the hunt almost as much as Mariza. I wasn’t a water sprite anymore. Life wasn’t all innocent fun. Darkness would always be needed to balance out the light, and I was now a member of the dark side.

  “Fine,” I conceded. “Let’s go, but we’re only hunting for morally ambiguous men.” My mouth watered. “And I get first pick.”

  We made it to the bookstore just before closing. Joel’s private office was like a shrine to the ocean. Maps, nautical charts, items salvaged from shipwrecks, even miniature skeletal models of sea mammals—including a mermaid. Pango and I sat side by side in two antique chairs pirated from the sunken ship, Cristobal Colon—or so Joel told us.

  “For real, who is this guy?” I asked Pango as we waited for Joel to come back.

  “He’s a history buff.”

  “I can see that. Who is he in relation to Koraline?”

  Pango shrugged. “Koraline is exceptionally intelligent. She enjoys the company of other intelligent people.”

  I suspected there was much more to it than that, but the office door opened and Joel walked in, so I dropped the subject.

  “So sorry for making you wait,” Joel said.

  “It’s no problem,” I replied. “We’re sorry to bother you at work. Especially when you were getting ready to go home for the night.”

  “I’m almost always at work, and it’s no bother. Any friend of Koraline’s is a friend of mine.”

  “How long have you and Koraline known each other?” I asked.

  Pango cleared his throat. “Yara, let’s not take up Joel’s time with chitchat. I’m sure he wants to lock up and go home.”

  “Right. Sorry,” I said.

  “We’ll tell you all we can, Joel,” Pango started, “but, as you know, that doesn’t leave room for much explaining, so I request that you only ask the most necessary questions.”

  Joel nodded like he was familiar with the rules of confidential sea creature conversation.

  Pango continued. “A couple of merfolk tried to pass through a gateway between Rathe and Harte.” I watched Joel, waiting for him to ask what Rathe and Harte were, but he didn’t flinch. “They couldn’t do it.”

  “Why not?” Joel asked.

  Pango shifted in his seat. The chair creaked so loud I worried his six-foot-five heavy frame might break the treasured antique. “Because.” Pango hesitated. “Because they have human blood in their genes, so they were unable to cross between two sea monster realms.”

  “Human blood.” Joel straightened his glasses. “How is that possible?”

  “We’d prefer not to elaborate on that detail,” Pango said. Joel nodded again. “Rumor has it you might be able to help us figure out a way around this restriction.”

  Joel tapped his fingers on the desk while he glanced back and forth between me and Pango. “To clarify, these,” he looked directly at me, “individuals can’t cross because of their human blood. Only pure-blooded sea creatures can pass through the gate between Harte and Rathe?”

  “Correct,” Pango replied.

  “What about between Earth and Rathe? Could a human-blooded being cross that gateway?”

  Pango raised his head and squinted for a few moments before answering. “Not relevant.”

  Joel squinted too and leaned back in his chair. “You’re sure the only issue here is the human blood factor?”

  “What other factors could there be?” Pango asked.

  Joel folded his hands on top of his stomach. “Are you sure there isn’t fear or apprehension to enter Harte? I mean, it’s a very evil place.”

  “Of course there was some fear,” I interjected a little too defensively. “But they were going to do it anyway. They tried. They swam right up to the gate, but they were thrown back by a powerful force.”

  I didn’t know why I couldn’t be straightforward with him. Joel had obviously figured out I was one of the merfolk who couldn’t cross over, but I had promised to let Pango decide what we could and couldn’t reveal.

  Joel’s eyes darted between me and Pango. “I see.” He spun around in his chair, searching the overflowing bookshelves behind him. “I have a vague memory of my grandfather telling me about … well, hang on. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

  “What?” I asked. “Your grandfather told you about what?”

  Joel stood up and faced us again. “Give me a few minutes to search for an old book. I think it might be in the vault.”

  “Take all the time you need,” Pango said.

  Joel walked over to the corner of his office. He slid a couple of books from a shelf, reached through the opening, and grunted as he pushed on some kind of lever. A large framed map, which was actually a door, slid open and revealed a secret passageway.

  I stood up. “What the—? Where does that go?”

  Joel grinned at me over his shoulder. “We humans have secrets too.”

  Pango took my hand and pulled me back into my chair. “Sit, my curious crusader. It’s none of our business.”

  Joel ducked through the doorway, and the painting slid shut behind him.

  “Do you know where that goes?” I asked Pango.

  “Koraline says there’s a secret room full of his family’s prized possessions.”

  “Wow. I’ve seen that stuff in movies, but I didn’t know it really existed.”

  Pango chuckled. “You’ve discovered other realms full of creatures and magic, but a secret door to a hidden room is what boggles your mind?”

  “You know what I mean. I just didn’t expect there to be secret passageways and hidden rooms in what appears to be a regular old bookstore.”

  Pango flicked a strand of my brown human hair and winked at me. “Appearances can be deceiving.”

  Joel returned several minutes later. He seemed tense.

  “Did you find anything that might help us?” Pango asked.

  Joel sat on the edge of his desk, so close to us that his knees almost touched Pango’s. He stared down at us over his glasses. “My father’s journal confirmed something I remembered from a story my grandfather told me when I was a child. It could be of help, but I also worry it would … let’s see, how shall I put this?” Joel looked directly at me and swallowed. “If you pursue this route, it will most likely be your final journey.”

  He definitely knew I was one of the souls trying to enter Harte.

  “Continue,” Pango urged.

  “First,” Joel said. “I need to know if Koraline is one of the merfolk you mentioned.”

  “No,” Pango replied firmly.

  Joel looked apprehensive and concerned. “You give me your word that she is not involved in this madness in any way, and that she won’t go near any gates to hell?”

  “Yes,” Pango said. “And you know I can’t lie.”

  Joel focused on me again and continued. “Harte is a damned realm filled with ravenous creatures and the most negative emotions. Just like this world, the gods had their hand in the creation of Harte, and many gods have enjoyed using humans as their playthings. If their playthings didn’t play by the rules or stepped out of line, the gods had ways of punishing them. One of those ways being a one-way ticket to the eternal nightmare of Harte.”

  My pulse quickened. “There’s another way in?”

  Joel nodded slowly. “But I have never heard of any soul purposefully wanting to go there. Yes, there’s an entrance from our human world, but no return ticket is offered.”

  He didn’t know what I knew. That one sea creature had found an exit, and Uncle Lloyd had told me and Treygan where it was and how to get through it. One exit was enough for me to believe we would make it out alive. I leaned toward Joel. “I already know the risks involved.”

  “Do you really?” Joel crossed his arms over his chest. “How much have you studied
about Harte? Do you have any idea what happens there? What horrible, unthinkable monsters or torture devices exist there? No, because no one has ever made it back. Many people claim to have glimpsed the afterlife or Heaven, but how many accounts have you ever heard of anyone returning from a visit to hell?”

  To say I wasn’t scared would have been a lie, and I could have tried to fool him, but my trembling voice would have betrayed me. “If there’s a way in, you have to tell us.”

  “Please, Joel,” Pango urged quietly.

  Joel sighed and walked to the other side of his office. He stood with his back toward us, staring at an old, tattered map hung on the wall. “Come here and I’ll show you.”

  Pango and I walked over and stood on either side of him.

  Joel took off his glasses and rubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t feel good about this. I’m basically showing you the way into the lion’s den.”

  I pulled his hand away from his face. “We understand what we’re getting ourselves into. You are in no way responsible for what happens. But you would be helping in a way more important than you can imagine.”

  He stared at me for several silent heartbeats. I still wasn’t sure how Koraline knew Joel, but I could see why she trusted him. He had abyss eyes. Uncle Lloyd used to tell me that his wife had abyss eyes. The first time he met her, he knew her goodness had no end because he could see into her soul, and no matter how deep or long he looked, he never saw one hint of bad. Joel’s eyes were the same way. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt. He didn’t even know me, but he was concerned about me.

  “Some things are worth the risk,” I told him.

  “How about dying? Is this worth dying for?”

  A close-lipped grin struggled to surface as Koraline’s famous words echoed through my mind. The words I had died by, and now lived by.

  “Love until it kills you,” I recited with a smile. Joel’s eyes widened with recognition. “Because there’s nothing better worth dying for.”

  Joel slid his glasses back on and squared his shoulders. “The other gateway, the only one a human, or part human, could pass through is here.”