Divulging Secrets

by Lynn Burke

  “I saw you pet him earlier.”

  “Yeah.” She half-laughed, the first I’d heard from her. “He’s a persistent little bastard. I gave in.”

  I let us into the house and kicked my shoes off. “He doesn’t let anyone pet him but me.”

  “Guess I must be special.” She leaned against the counter while I grabbed an empty egg carton off the top of the fridge.

  “Guess so.” I smiled at her.

  Candace didn’t wear a stitch of makeup—hadn’t from the first day she’d arrived that I saw, but she didn’t need to. Sky-blue eyes with a slight slant, arched brows, and those cheekbones…

  Pink rose to blush her cheeks, and she shifted, making me aware I stared. “Sorry.” I turned back to the task of filling the carton with the eggs I’d just gathered. “Didn’t realize I was staring.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Want some coffee?” I asked, handing her the dozen eggs.

  She took my offering, glancing around the kitchen. “Sure.”

  I tried to talk my giddiness into leaving but it stuck around even after we sat on the chairs by my rarely-used fire pit out back.

  Clucks and the buzzing of busy bees accompanied the silence between us as Candace studied the clearing as I’d often seen her doing when outside. It seemed as though a weight lay on her shoulders, a heaviness I understood all too well. Keeping things bottled was never a good idea, and opening to the shrinks the WITSEC made available to her couldn’t be easy.

  “Do you miss your old home?”

  Candace sighed and wrapped a second hand around her coffee mug. “Yes.” She peered across the small table at me. “You know I can’t go back?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you know why?”

  “No, and it’s better if I don’t.”

  She nodded and sipped her coffee, eyes glazing over as though traveling to another time—another world. “What sucks the most is that I won’t be able to make new friends. Every relationship will be based on lies.”

  I didn’t know how to respond, so I drank some coffee. “We all have secrets,” I said a few seconds later.

  “I suppose. Well.” She forced a smile and shifted. “I have to tell you, I’m partial to goat’s milk in my coffee now.”

  “Wait’ll you try the eggs.”

  “That good, huh?”

  “Yep, and ten times better for you.”

  She gazed at me with those beautiful blue eyes, and I met her stare, my cock taking an interest in the growing tension between us. I let her see an inkling of my want … just for the hell of it, I told myself.

  Her pupils dilated. Lips parted.

  I slid my gaze down, muscles tensing at the jumping pulse in her neck. My cock swelled, pressing against my constraining jeans.

  Too damn long without sinking between a woman’s thighs.

  “Ever have a mountain pie?” I asked, lifting my attention back to her eyes, having no clue where the thought came from.

  She shifted on her chair. “Mountain pie?”

  A smirk grew on my lips at her tone, her obvious unease of the good kind. “A pie-type food you make over a campfire.”

  “Oh.” She swallowed and focused on her mug. “Never heard of them.”

  “You ought to come over tonight.” There. Bait thrown—for friendship building or to wherever else the attraction between us might lead. “I’ll get a fire going out here and make you one. Blueberry or cherry?”

  “I … um, sure. Blueberry would be great.” Candace left her mug on the table and stood, smoothing a hand down her shorts. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Tonight.” I lifted my coffee and stared at her ass as she walked back to the bungalow. I’d learned the hard way that getting involved with a person in hiding wasn’t smart, but with Candace… The pull between us skittered flickers of electricity over my skin, swayed my body without thought.

  Candace—or whoever she was—wouldn’t be hanging around in the bungalow any longer than necessary. She’d be off and in her own place before long, one far away from chicken shit and noisy roosters.

  I swallowed the last of my coffee as she disappeared inside and shut the door behind her without a backward glance.

  Nothing wrong with enjoying each other’s company, I thought, adjusting my stiff cock. Take advantage of the mutual want while she was around. Can’t hurt to try, anyway.

  ****

  I half-expected her to not show. Although attraction sizzled between us, she definitely seemed shut off to relationships of any sort. She needed a friend, and I could be that to her—if she’d let me. If it never went beyond friendship, I supposed I could live with that.

  As she approached my fire pit later that night, I changed my mind. Tight designer jeans encased her shapely legs and a fitted t-shirt molded to her perfect breasts. I wanted her like I hadn’t wanted a woman in a long-ass time.

  Getting involved would bring about a shit storm of memories and pain, but Candace seemed just as tortured as me. Perhaps we could find some peace together and a chance to move on.

  “Hey.” I stood as she stepped into the fire’s light.

  “Beautiful night,” she said, casting a quick, small smile my way before sitting in the extra chair I’d perched close to mine.

  “Perfect night.” I settled back in my chair, breathing in the soft scent of her perfume—flowery yet subtle. Enough to set my mouth to watering. “What did you have for dinner?” I asked, picking up the mountain pie maker and shoving it into the coals.

  “Beef tenderloin with a red wine sauce.”

  I grabbed the loaf of square bread I’d pulled from the freezer an hour earlier. “Sounds delicious.”

  “Wasn’t too bad.” She shrugged. “It was my first time attempting a tenderloin. I need practice making mashed potatoes, though.” Light laughter tinkled my ears. “I’ll get there eventually.”

  “Didn’t cook in your previous life, I take it,” I said while slathering butter on two slices of bread.

  “No.”

  “I actually took a couple of classes after leaving the Marines. They hold some every couple months down at Dee Dee’s.”

  “What’s Dee Dee’s?”

  “Hole-in-the-wall diner downtown that’s only open for breakfast and lunch.” I pulled the heated pie maker out of the fire and opened it. The butter sizzled as I lay a slice of bread on the heated inside. “Blueberry, right?” I held up a can of pie filling.

  “Yes.”

  “Good, ’cuz I already opened it.” Grinning, I filled the bread, placed the other slice on top, and closed the maker, squishing the crusts together. “A few minutes, and you’ll sink your teeth into the best damn blueberry pie you’ve ever had.”

  “We’ll see about that.” She smiled again, and I decided I would strive to make her smile more often.

  “You have a beautiful smile.” I caught her gaze and held it as her pie baked in the coals.

  The fire snapped and crickets chirped, but neither couldn’t break the emotional, silent tug between us. Her eyes glowed in the firelight, her dark, short hair glinting like a raven’s wing.

  Candace broke our stare, glancing into the darkness beyond the firelight. “Don’t you get lonely out here by yourself?”

  “Sometimes, yes.” I turned the pie maker over. “I enjoy my privacy, though some days I wish I had someone to share all of this with.”

  She glanced at me again, wiping her palms on her thighs.

  “Want to pour the wine?” I gestured to the small table beside her. “I don’t know much about wine, but seeing as how we’re having dessert, figured something light and sweet would work.”

  “Moscato.” She smiled again and grabbed the bottle. “Perfect.”

  I popped her mountain pie onto a paper plate on my lap and tossed another one in for myself as she poured.

  “So.” Her hesitant smile clenched something in my chest as we exchanged items, the mountain pie for a glass of wine.

  “To new friend
ships?” I asked, lifting my glass.

  She peered into my eyes a few seconds. “Yes.”

  Our glasses clinked together, and we sipped, solidifying our agreement for friendship at least.

  “Oh, my God.” Candace moaned around her first bite of the mountain pie.

  “Told you.” I chuckled and popped mine onto another plate.

  “So how did you end up here?” she asked as I blew across mine, hoping to speed up its cool-off time.

  “Long story.” A memory of blonde hair and hazel eyes flashed through my brain. It had been seven years. Time should have healed the wound already.

  “I’ve got all night,” Candace said, her voice low and encouraging.

  I peered into the flickering flames. Sharing my secrets didn’t come easy. Especially painful ones, but perhaps sharing mine would help Candace open herself to a relationship. “I was engaged once.”

  “What happened?” she pressed when I didn’t continue.

  “We were on tour together in Afghanistan.” The memory slammed into me, squeezing my chest like a vise. “There was a fire fight, and she was shot.”

  “My God. I’m so sorry.”

  Lips clenched, I nodded. The terror in my Darah’s eyes … her mouthed I love you a heartbeat before a single shot to her temple tore her from my life forever.

  If I hadn’t hesitated…

  The familiar words twisted my stomach. I cleared my throat and glanced over at Candace. Compassion filled her eyes and furrowed her brow. “It was a long time ago.”

  “It’s still painful.”

  I nodded. “Loss like that is hard to move past.” Especially if it’s your fault, I didn’t add out loud.

  Needing to at least move my mind on, I bit into my mountain pie. “Mmm.” A slow chewing chased by a sip of wine, and I grinned. “Blueberry is the best.”

  Candace took another bite, smearing blue filling on the corner of her mouth.

  I stared, thoughts of leaning over to lick it off sending a rush through my blood.

  “What?” she asked after swallowing, her voice low and husky.

  I pointed to the corner of my mouth.

  “Oh.” She wiped the pie filling away with her thumb and stuck it into her mouth.

  Damn. I bit back my groan and shifted on my chair.

  Silence settled as I lifted my attention to her blue eyes. Her gaze slammed into me—same as the first time I’d seen Darah. I never thought I would experience the feeling again. The desire to know, posses, and cherish in a single heartbeat. Within that second, I knew I would never be content with just friendship. I also knew I wanted her, all or nothing.

  A tingle of fear crept up my spine in its wake. Desires like that had brought pain like I’d never known, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk my heart again. Didn’t matter, though. My heart and mind were dead gone on her.

  Candace looked away first, lifting her head. “I can’t get over the stars up there,” she murmured, her voice still low, rasping enough to heat my blood.

  I cleared my throat and glanced upward. “I used to hang out here all the time, gazing at the stars.”

  “Used to,” she noted my words.

  “Guess I got familiar with the beauty of it.”

  “It’s truly magical.”

  A smile coated her tone, drawing my gaze back to her fire-lit face.

  “Like in the movies when people dance under the stars without any music.” Her whispered words sounded like a musing, not a hint, but I wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass by.

  I set my plate and glass on the table beside me, and standing, held out my hand.

  Her gaze landed on my palm, but she didn’t move.

  “Dance with me.”

  I fought not to shift my weight as she deliberated whatever needed figuring out in her mind. Finally, she set her wine and empty plate aside.

  The warmth of her palm against mine rushed those feelings through me again like a brand imprinting my skin. Also woke damn butterflies in my stomach. I tugged her to her feet and led her around the fire pit, beyond the chairs. Turning, I pulled her toward me, allowing her to set the space between us.

  Inches separated our bodies, but a light touch of my hand to her lower back. She closed the distance, eyes wide and luminous as her breasts pressed against my lower chest, her stomach brushing the hard-on I fought against.

  I released my hold on her hand, and she snaked her arms around my neck as my free hand joined the other on her back. Her flowery scent washed over me, and I breathed deep, wanting to bury my face in her hair. I lost the fight with my cock.

  Candace didn’t pull away at the obvious ridge between us, so I gave in to the moment. We swayed to the right—who led, I couldn’t tell. Small steps moved us in a slow circle, the night sounds and our breaths the only music.

  Magical, she had murmured.

  Dangerous, my mind whispered, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

  She stared at my mouth with her lips slightly parted.

  I tightened my hold on her, drawing her attention back up to my eyes. “I want to kiss you.”

  Her breath hitched, but she didn’t say no.

  I leaned down and brushed my lips across hers. Soft and full, her breath sweet…

  Goddamn.

  I swept my tongue along the seam of her lips, and she opened to me. With a groan, I sank into her mouth, tasting her, breathing her into my lungs, filling my body with burning lust.

  Candace melted against me, her fingers tangling in the hair brushing the nape of my neck.

  “You taste like the sweetest summer morning,” I murmured against her mouth, tasting her some more.

  She moaned and trembled in my arms, and it took everything in me to keep my hands from roaming, exploring the curves of her hips and ass.

  I moved my mouth along her jaw, nuzzled beneath the hollow of her ear, her breath loud in mine as I inhaled, flooding my senses with everything Candace.

  She leaned back, and I loosened my grip.

  “I-I think I should go.”

  Her body pulled on mine like a magnet, but I forced my hands to release her.

  Shuffling backward, she put a few feet between us. “I need to go,” she repeated.

  I shoved my hands in my pockets and nodded, although an ache filled my chest.

  She spun and hurried off into the night.

  Chapter Five

  Candace

  My judgement had gone to shit. What the hell had I been thinking? Had I been thinking? I sure as hell felt all kinds of warm fuzzies like a princess in a magical fairy tale where she falls for a prince and lives happily ever after.

  Tears stung my eyes, and I leaned back against my front door. A quiet dance beneath the stars, a little brush of lips.

  Something had swarmed my senses, and not just the arousal that slickened my panties. Longing for physical contact, companionship, had flooded me beyond the usual loneliness. Like a taste of what I’d been missing but tenfold.

  Everything I’d known was a lie. How the hell did I let my guard down so damn quickly?

  The new vibrator I’d ordered obviously wasn’t cutting it. My body craved more, craved Tom’s firm yet gentle lips.

  I imagined what his calloused hands would feel like sliding down my body. Pinching my nipples. Pressing deep into my soaked pussy.

  A shudder rippled through me, and teeth clenched, I turned and locked my door.

  “Control yourself, Lila,” I whispered harshly, causing more tears to fall. Not Lila. Candace.

  My heart and mind heavy, I curled up in my bedroom’s window seat with all the pillows I’d purchased. I missed my old tabby Butter so damn much that my chest ached. Reaching to my neck for comfort, I remembered my mom’s locket no longer hung there.

  I drew a deep breath to keep my tears in check. New cell in hand, I clicked on Google and searched my old name. News story after news story, all painting a different picture. The poor daughter. The treasonous daughter. The woman who ought to be
in jail for her crimes.

  Checking out my old profiles online disturbed my mindset even further. Post after post from friends wondering about me—where I was, how I was holding up. Pleadings for me to contact them. Cyber hugs and kisses because they missed me so much.

  Vowing to never check my old social sites again, I tossed my phone on the bed and shuffled downstairs, tears streaming, my mind bent on downing an entire bottle of cheap red wine.

  ****

  My head ached, and the bright sunshine pouring through the window by my favorite place to sit and read brought a handful of curses past my lips. Still in the same clothing from the night before, I stumbled my way down the stairs to my tiny-ass kitchen. I flipped the switch on the coffee pot and stood staring as the coffee started dripping.

  Hurry the fuck up, hurry the fuck up, my mind chanted.

  I grabbed a mug and pulled open the fridge for the goat’s milk.

  The glass bottle in hand, I glanced out the window toward Tom’s.

  He worked in the garden, as usual. A gray t-shirt stretched over his shoulders as he bent inspecting his plants. He turned to the right, giving me a good look at his strong, handsome profile.

  Damn warmth kindled between my thighs as he smiled, his lips moving.

  Probably talking to the meat birds or Archie.

  I tore my gaze off him and went back to staring at the coffee pot. Took forever before I could pour a cup and trudge into the bathroom for a long, hot shower. Grumbling about not having a tub to soak in, I sipped a few swigs, waiting for the water to heat up. At least I never ran out of hot water.

  How the hell was I supposed to avoid Tom when we lived in a private, two-acre clearing surrounded by trees?

  I had plenty of money, but getting a job to keep me busy…

  I stepped beneath the hot spray and lifted my face to pelt my skin.

  Better yet, maybe it was time to move. Buy my own place and start making a real life. The thought didn’t bring me any joy, any excitement. I thought of the peacefulness of Tom’s farm, the quietness that had soothed the relentless knot twisting my stomach—unless Archie caught sight of me from the distance.

  I snorted a laugh and lathered my hair. The damn bird’s persistence had paid off, and I’d finally given into him. Soft feathers lay down his speckled head, and when I’d lightly slid my fingertips over him, he’d closed his eyes, stretching his neck out. Funny bird.