Fulfillment

by Golland, K. M.

  “What?”

  “Do you know if Gareth is still seeing Samantha?”

  “I think so. I don’t exactly ask him about his love life. Why?”

  “Because I think Samantha has a right to know about Gareth’s condition. It has been bugging me for a long time.”

  “She may already know.”

  “See, that’s the thing. I honestly don’t think she does. If she did, I’m guessing she would re-evaluate her relationship status with him.”

  Lucy shrugged her shoulders.

  “Look, I’m not calling her shallow or anything. I’m just thinking that she is young and naive and not the type that could handle a condition such as Gareth’s. I am hoping to be wrong, you know.”

  “So what are you planning on doing about it? Clearly you plan on doing something.”

  I sighed, thinking about the precarious situation. “I don’t know. A part of me is saying: ‘Yes, tell her, she has a right to know’. But there is also a part of me that is saying: ‘Stay out of it, it’s none of your business. Your interference could undo Gareth’s progression of late’. And believe me, Luce, the last thing I want to do is contribute to Gareth reverting back to a dark place.”

  “Alexis, normally I would say stay out of all things that involve Gareth. But I know Samantha is your friend, and I also know that you are stubborn like the best of them. What I will say is tread carefully. Say only what you need to and nothing else.”

  “Will you help me?”

  She sighed. “I hate getting involved where Gareth is concerned. I’ve been on the firing end of his alter Scott, and let me tell you...it was terrifying.”

  “What happened?”

  “Well, Gareth has an alter Scott. I know you are aware of him, Bryce mentioned he has made himself known to you a couple of times.”

  “Oh, yes, I’ve met Scott. I met him in the office and at the Tel V Awards.”

  I hadn’t mentioned to anyone about my third encounter with Scott which was after the board meeting a few months back.

  Lucy continued. “Well, it was shortly after I’d gone off the rails and Bryce had—for the umpteenth time—come to my rescue. He’d let me stay here while I was detoxing, and I’d been such an ungrateful, selfish bitch to him in front of Gareth. Jessica said that my harsh outburst and unappreciativeness would have been the trigger to Scott’s appearance. At that stage, we’d known that he’d developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but he had not yet showed any signs of the DID.”

  Lucy had started gently combing her hair nervously and if I weren’t mistaken I would’ve said that she appeared quite agitated.

  “I had been sitting on the sofa watching TV. Gareth was at the dining table reading the paper, I think. Bryce had told me that he was going to get my Uncle Charles to have some of my assets frozen, because I had been squandering my inheritance on drugs. As he left the room to go into his office, I screamed at him calling him a ‘fucking controlling prick.’ Shortly after his door closed, I felt a terrible pain on my head and soon realised Gareth was pulling me by the hair from behind the sofa.

  “He had lost it, completely lost it. I remember him saying in a cold, hated voice as he yanked me up and over the back of the sofa to the ground, ‘You ungrateful, self-centered, fucking brat. He deserves so much better than the filth of a sister that you are.’

  “It was just so unlike Gareth and he sounded like a completely different person. At first I yelled at him to let me go, asking him what the fuck he thought he was doing. But it was his eyes that told me something was not right, that, and his tone of voice was all wrong. I screamed for Bryce at that point, because I was terrified and I felt at any moment he would rip my hair from my head.”

  I had placed my hands over my mouth, listening to the extent that Scott had gone to over his obsession for Bryce. “Lucy, that sounds absolutely dreadful.”

  “It was, but thankfully Bryce had heard my cry for help and came running into the room grabbing Gareth and pinning him up against the wall. He’d asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing laying a hand on a girl let alone his own cousin. Bryce was absolutely furious. But it was what Gareth did next that cemented there was something seriously wrong.”

  She leaned over and teased Alexander with a soft squeaky toy, gently touching his nose with it then moving it away, only to touch his nose with it again. Alexander thought it was brilliant.

  “What did Gareth do, Luce?”

  She took a deep breath. “He said to Bryce, ‘The name is Scott, and you have no fucking idea how long I have waited to be pinned up against a wall by you,’ then he leaned forward and kissed Bryce.”

  I shrieked and replaced my hands over my mouth.

  “He only got so far as a peck, but it was enough to shock the shit out of us, especially Bryce who then punched Gareth directly in the nose, knocking him out.”

  “Geezus,” I blurted out.

  “Yeah, Geezus alright. So there, on the floor, was Gareth out cold with a broken nose, Bryce was standing over him with his hands through his hair just staring, and I was still crumpled on the ground. That’s when we discovered Gareth had DID and why he got it. Bryce was devastated and blamed himself. He also decided from then on, that his martial arts training would be put to better use by teaching women to defend themselves when being attacked, starting with me. So although I can confidently say I can defend myself from my cousin and his psycho-alter Scott, I still try to avoid anything that could trigger his appearance.”

  “Oh, Luce, I completely understand. Don’t worry about me and my telling Samantha. I can handle it.”

  “I hope so. The last thing you need right now is more drama, especially where Gareth is concerned.”

  ***

  I deliberated over what Lucy said and agreed that I did not need any more drama in my life, but I had a conscience, and I desperately had to get the nagging Samantha/Gareth issue out of my head. So I took the plunge and asked Abigail to send her up to the penthouse to collect Bryce’s brief, which at this point in time was non-existent.

  I was sitting at Bryce’s desk when Samantha knocked on the door.

  “Come in,” I called out.

  She opened the door and walked in, closing it behind her and gingerly making her way toward me.

  “Hi, Alexis, how are you feeling? Oh, sorry, you don’t need to answer that if you don’t want to. Shit, sorry, I’m really not good with these types of things.”

  “Sam, it’s okay. I’m fine.” I smiled reassuringly at her.

  She could barely look at me.

  I pushed myself up from the desk and hobbled over to the sofa in Bryce’s office. “You got a moment for a chat?” I gestured to the other sofa seated opposite the one I sat on.

  “Sure,” she hesitantly answered.

  “So, what’s been happening Sam? I miss you. I feel like you avoid me now.”

  “I don’t mean to. It’s just when I heard about your fall I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and upset you.”

  “Don’t be silly, I’m okay. I’m getting stronger both mentally and physically as each day goes by. It happened and it can’t be changed, all I can do is move on.”

  She smiled feebly at me.

  “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you. I didn’t get to say goodbye to you at my birthday party. What happened?”

  I figured I’d play dumb and get her side of the story before I mentioned anything to her about Gareth.

  “Oh.” She displayed an expression of confusion. “Didn’t Gareth say goodbye?”

  “No.” I answered, with a dumbfounded expression.

  “That’s strange, as I was exiting the bathroom shortly after your announcement...Oh, shit, sorry I didn’t mean to mention the—”

  “Sam, it’s fine. Keep going.”

  “Sorry, um...where was I? Oh yeah, when I walked out the bathroom, Gareth took my arm in his and said we were leaving. He was actually in a pissy mood if I remember rightly. He’d said the party was winding up. Sorry I never
said goodbye, but Gareth told me he’d already done it on my behalf.”

  “Maybe he did, I can’t quite remember,” I said, brushing it off.

  I felt a sickly feeling in my stomach at the confirmation Gareth had in fact lied about why he left the party. Something was not right, and I had a feeling I knew what; Scott was pretending to be Gareth. I couldn’t be positive though, and I had no idea how I would prove it without baiting him and putting myself or my children at risk. I would have to think about it a lot more, but first I needed to tell Sam the truth. If my feelings were correct and Scott was disguising himself as Gareth, Sam deserved to know and she deserved to know immediately.

  “Sam, I need to tell you something. It might come as a shock but you deserve to know the truth.”

  She tensed in her seat and looked at me intently.

  “Has Gareth mentioned anything to you about his medical condition?”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Well, yeah, he suffers from horrible migraines, poor bugger. I can’t stand a mild headache let alone a severe migraine.” She relaxed a little.

  “Has he told you why he gets the migraines?” I probed further, causing her relaxed position to tense up again.

  “No, and I didn’t want to pry.”

  “Hmmm,” I mumbled.

  “Alexis, what is it? Look, I know you are not a fan of Gareth, and clearly he was not a fan of yours, but he has been trying to make amends for that.”

  “Sam, Gareth has Dissociate Identity Disorder with positive symptoms of Schizophrenia.”

  Her mouth dropped and she blinked.

  “I’m not sure if you are aware, but Bryce’s parents and brother were killed in a car accident when he was nineteen. Gareth had been in the car and was the sole survivor. He suffered severe head injuries and as a result developed DID.”

  She looked at her hands which were entwined with each other. “I...um...I had no idea.”

  “I didn’t think so. I’m sorry, I just thought you had a right to know. It’s my understanding Gareth has many altering personalities. Scott, is the personality that does not get along with me.”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  It was clear Samantha had no idea as to the complexity of Gareth’s condition.

  “Sam, his personality changes and with that so does his person. One minute he is Gareth, the next he can be Scott, or Deirdre—”

  “Who the fuck is Deirdre?” she blurted out.

  “Deirdre is one of his alters, Sam. I have not yet met her. I’ve only met Scott.”

  She dropped her head in her hands. “I don’t know if I can...I mean...what do I say or do with this?” She lifted her head, displaying a look of complete stupefaction.

  “I don’t know, Hun. It might help to research the condition before you do anything brash, though. I can tell you that he sees the family psychologist for therapy weekly and takes medication daily to supress the alters from dominating him.”

  “Why didn’t he tell me?” she asked in an angry tone.

  “I don’t know. Maybe he was scared, or maybe it’s because as part of his treatment he is encouraged to live his life normally, and telling everyone he comes in contact with about the DID would hinder that.”

  “Right,” she answered, still looking completely lost.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. I just thought you should know the whole truth.”

  She smiled mildly at me. “No, that’s okay. Thank you for telling me, I appreciate it. I just have a lot to consider now.”

  “I know you do. But make sure you consider everything, okay?”

  She stood up and helped me up with her. “So, how long are you in that stylish thing?” she pointed to my moon boot.

  “Five to seven weeks,” I answered with a pout.

  “Well, it could be worse...” she froze and her eyes widened. “Oh, shit! Sorry, I didn’t...see what I mean? I’m hopeless, absolutely hopeless.”

  “Sam, seriously...” I placed my hand on her shoulder as I picked up my crutches. “I’m sure you are not the only one who mouth-farts at the wrong time. We are all capable of it.”

  After Sam left the office, I felt only mildly better. Better, because she was now aware of Gareth’s situation and could make her own informed decision about what to do in regards to their relationship. But I also felt terrible, because I could see Sam’s heart break as she realised her partner was not who she thought he was.

  ***

  Later that evening, Derek stayed for dinner after knuckling down and giving me some more lessons.

  “How’s she coming along?” Lucy asked him as we each ate our meals ordered from the hotel’s kitchen. I missed my smirky chef and his culinary wizardry.

  “She’s a natural, or I am the bomb when it comes to teaching.” He shot a smile at me. “Yeah, I’m thinking I’m just that good.”

  I rolled my eyes, so did Lucy.

  “So, Alexis, how do you plan on springing your new found guitar talent on my brother?”

  “I don’t know. I was just going to sit him down and play something I guess, when the time was right,” I explained as I popped my fork in my mouth.

  “That’s boring, and plain and just...boring. You need to do it in a way that says ‘Look the fuck at what I have learned for you’.”

  I laughed, “And how do I do that exactly?”

  “At our gig in a couple of month,” she said proudly.

  Derek choked on his mouthful, and Nic screwed up her face.

  “I’m singing at that gig you know,” Charli added.

  “You are, are you?” Derek asked, obviously this being news to him.

  “Yep, Bryce said I could. I’ve been practising.”

  “He did, and she has,” I confirmed.

  “Yeah,” Nate moaned. “She has been practising a lot.”

  I squinted my eyes at my son, a warning to be nice or else.

  Lucy stood up and took her plate to the sink. “Perfect, a family gig. Nic, do you want to join in too?” She raised her eyebrows at her partner.

  “Do you want to change Alexander’s nappies for a month?” Nic counter offered back.

  “Point taken,” Lucy replied in a sweet voice. “So what song are you going to play for him, Alexis? Do you need help choosing? The gig is in two months you might want to start practising it.” Um, fuck! I only just picked up the bloody guitar, steady on.

  “I haven’t really thought about it, Luce, maybe “The Only Exception” by Paramore. I don’t know.”

  “Actually, that would be doable, Alexis. It’s a very basic song to learn on the guitar for most part, and I could play what you might not be able to learn in such a short space of time,” Derek said as the cogs in his brain started to turn.

  “Yes, great song choice Alexis and perfect for your voice,” Lucy added, her brain cogs turning too. I’m sorry, did you just say my voice?

  “What do you mean perfect for my voice?”

  “It’s the perfect song for you to play and sing to Bryce at our gig. Oh my God, he is gonna die when you perform this for him.” She was so excited.

  “I dunno, it’s one thing doing it in private for him, but up on stage at one of your gigs? I don’t think I can do that.” Already I felt clammy and nervous.

  “Alexis, how much do you love him?”

  “Lucy, that’s unfair.” You sneaky little guilt tripper.

  “Well? How much?”

  “More than anything.”

  “Then you should do it, because I can tell you this would absolutely blow his mind.” Really?

  “Can you sing?” asked Derek.

  “Not—”

  “Yes, she can,” Lucy interrupted.

  “I can hold a tune, that’s different from being able to sing,” I corrected.

  “Pfft, I know for a fact you can sing,”

  “How?”

  “How did Bryce say you put it? Oh, yeah...Creepy Research.”

  Oh, for the love of...

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

 
So, it was set. In just over two months’ time when I was no longer supported by crutches and a hideous looking boot, I would be performing “The Only Exception” for Bryce at one of Live Trepidation’s gigs. How the flying fuck did they talk me into that? Oh, yeah...it was because it was ‘going to absolutely blow his mind’. How could I have possibly refused when Lucy put it like that? And, after giving it more thought, he had gone over and beyond when it came to doing things for me: helicopter rescue, Tel V Awards, 4Life, ‘Kings of Leon’, Uluru, Brylexis, the list went on. I really had no choice, and I had to perform the absolute shit out of it because he deserved nothing less.

  For the past few days, Derek and I had been practising as much as we possibly could, and my lessons had gone from actually learning how to understand and play music, to listen, copy, and wing it—which had been working nicely. Already, I was getting used to the 6/8 time signature and the introduction of the capo on the second fret. I was also getting used to different methods of strumming the strings.

  ***

  Bryce was due home the next day, and I was beyond excited. I couldn’t wait to touch him, inhale him and taste him. God, I sound like a Mr. Clark devouring monster. The thing was, I was a greedy little monster when it came to him. I could not wait to have him in close proximity again. He was my drug of choice and I had suffered withdrawals for the past week. As much as I was looking forward to seeing him, I was also grateful for the time he was spending away as it was giving me more of an opportunity to practise with Derek. I didn’t see how that was going to continue after Bryce returned, apart from sneaking off to practise with Derek behind Bryce’s back. I hated that idea. I knew too well that that kind of behaviour could only lead to bad things, things like lying, deceit and wrong assumptions.

  ***

  Derek and I had been practising for a couple of hours and my fingers were sore. I’d wanted a rest, so he had me watch him play the verse and chorus of the song over and over, because essentially—where the chords were concerned—the verse and chorus were one and the same.

  I was lightly singing the words and watching him strum when the door to the man-cave opened and Bryce walked in. He frightened me at first, but then that natural wave of guilt over being caught out washed over me and panic set in—my response to his arrival clearly not what it should’ve been.