Christmas in Angel Harbor

by Jeannie Moon

  Maybe, leaving Angel Harbor was a choice to be made, just like it had been before. He could go, or he could stay.

  The choice was all his.

  *

  This felt way too good. Being here with him, looking at the lights, feeling the chill in the air, triggered memories of a lifetime ago. She wanted to put all her trust in him, so very much, but with so much on her mind, could she take a risk on him as well?

  She felt, whether she had reason or not, that her life was imploding, and Jane worried that Danny would only make things more complicated. Jane wasn’t the type to be distant. Her very nature craved closeness. She’d tried to keep him at arm’s length, but the pull was just too strong. There was no way for her heart not to be involved.

  “What do you want to do? Dinner? Movie?” Danny’s deep voice drifted over her.

  “I wish I knew. I’m usually so good at making decisions. This isn’t like me.”

  “You’re facing huge changes, and that’s not easy. Try to focus on something else.” It was good advice and he certainly knew what he was talking about, but he was proactively making a change, while Jane couldn’t stop thinking that life was going to change around her no matter what.

  “Work is crazy busy, and my mind flits from one thing to another.” On top of her melancholy over pretty much everything, Danny was in there causing more distractions than she wanted to admit. “Christmas is just a few weeks away, and I don’t even have a tree.”

  He tilted her face to his, the snow falling lightly around them. Jane should be charmed by the scene. She was with a handsome man who cared about her, the lights were magical, and it was snowing. She couldn’t have written a Christmas movie with a better setup. Internally, however, she fought against the warring sides. On one side, she wanted to put on a good face and do what everyone expected. Jane was the strong one, the person everyone depended on. The other part of her wanted to lean on him, to depend on someone else.

  “No tree? Even I have a tree.”

  “I haven’t had time.”

  Danny leaned in and kissed the top of her head. “Come on.” He took her hand and pulled her along the path.

  “Where are we going?” She followed, barely keeping pace because her boots slipped a little. But he held her up, not letting her fall.

  “Where are you parked? Next to the bookstore?”

  “Yes. What are you doing?” she protested.

  “We’re going to get a tree.”

  “A Christmas tree?” His pace slowed and she settled in next to him, but he kept her hand firmly in his. “It’s not necessary. I can go another day.”

  “When?” His question, simple and to the point, drove home the reality of her next few weeks. She’d been so preoccupied by the store, the Harbor Lights festival, her family, Thanksgiving, she’d forgotten about her own Christmas preparations. She loved Christmas.

  “I have no idea. Like I said, I’m not myself.”

  “Come on. Let’s go. There’s a tree farm on the way to Compass Cove. It’s open late. We can get you a tree and I can help you put it in the stand.”

  The idea was appealing, no doubt, but her inner independent, the one who didn’t want to need him for so many reasons, balked at the idea. He sensed that too.

  “Give yourself a break, just this once. Let me help. It will be fun, and God knows, you could use some fun.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Was she so unfun that she needed an intervention? “I have fun.”

  “Not nearly enough.” He dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “What time are you opening tomorrow?”

  “We open at noon on Sundays, but I’m off tomorrow.”

  “That works. Now I don’t have to worry about keeping you out too late on a school night. Let’s go find some fancy coffee or hot chocolate and get you a Christmas tree. We have decorating to do.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  After a pit stop at the store to pick up her SUV, she and Danny headed out of town to find her Christmas tree. Like some kind of fairy tale, it was a cold night, there was light snow, and a gorgeous man was trying to make things better. She’d let him drive mostly because she was worn out from the day, but also because she could spend her time watching him. And he was addicting to watch. She’d spent entirely too much time sneaking peeks at him in the bookstore. It was so middle school, but she did love when he caught her looking.

  It amazed her how her feelings for him were as strong, if not stronger, as when they were younger. There was something settled now, mature. She never expected it, but it was there, surrounding her, comforting her from the inside out. Her doubt made little sense, and she wondered, was she doubting him, or herself?

  The shadow of a beard covered his jaw, and not knowing what made her do it, she reached out when they were waiting at a light, and gently touched his face. His skin was warm, rough with heat, much like his gaze. His eyes stayed on her as he leaned into her hand. The intimacy of the touch, the connection, took her breath away.

  The truth of what they meant to each other hit her like water from a dam burst. It was hard and fast, a tsunami of realization. Jane was in love with him. Now, then…it had always been Danny.

  They roamed the tree lot first, but none of the precut trees looked right.

  “Are you seeing anything? They all seem too big or too small for your living room.”

  “No, but I can always go smaller. That’s not the end of the world.”

  Danny didn’t seem satisfied with that option, based on the way he examined one very large tree.

  “That one is too big,” she said. “Later I’ll tell you about the time my Uncle Joe took Tara out to cut down a tree, and he got one that was so big it filled half the living room. And bent over at the top. It was enormous.”

  “Your uncle is a character. He didn’t notice it was gigantic?”

  “Well, according to Tara, who was around eight at the time, ‘It didn’t look that big next to the sky.’”

  Danny blinked twice, staring at her with an expression she couldn’t read. “Well, there you go,” he said. “I guess it wouldn’t.”

  “I said the same thing.”

  “So, a cautionary tale.” He looked up at the very large spruce next to him and made a decision. “Hmm. Hang on.” She watched him walk over to the little hut where everyone who worked at the lot was gathered. One of the older men stepped into the little wooden shack and came out with a saw. Danny returned to her quickly, his long stride covering a lot of ground quickly. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Go where?”

  “Well, I don’t usually carry around a bow saw,” he said holding up the tool. “Let’s go find a tree.”

  There were at least a hundred uncut trees to pick from, but it didn’t take long to narrow their search. Knowing she wanted one that was about seven feet tall for her front room, they came upon a group of trees that appeared to be just the right size.

  “These look perfect,” she said. The small cluster must have been planted at the same time as they were all similarly sized. Some were more dense, some fatter, others more conical in shape. Jane zeroed in on one tree at edge of the small grove. She almost missed it.

  “This one.” Looking up, she ran her gloved hand over the needles, and almost none fell off. It was full, but not so dense they’d have trouble stringing lights and hanging the ornaments. “How tall do you think this one is?”

  “Based on the sky, or for real?” He smiled, and the little inside joke, that tidbit of familiarity, brought them that much closer.

  “For real.”

  Extending his arm, he tilted his head. “This one is about seven and a half feet tall. Give or take a couple of inches. How tall is your ceiling?”

  “Nine feet.”

  “You’re golden. You sure about this one? Last chance to change your mind.”

  “I’m sure.”

  While he got down on the ground to cut the tree, Jane held the trunk, letting the smell of pine and snow seep into her senses. Ju
st being outside, being with him, helped her feel better.

  The thought of Tara missing the build-up to Christmas next year caused a bit of an ache in her chest, but that would happen whether she was in Ireland or Vermont. Jane had to accept that her life was changing, but looking at Danny as he cut down her Christmas tree reminded her that all change wasn’t bad.

  The two of them managed to carry the tree back to the main part of the lot, and without much help, Dan hoisted the Fraser fir onto the roof of her car. Jane noticed that he had an easier time securing the tree than the much younger helper employed by the farm. It almost didn’t seem fair.

  What was it about men and aging? Why did it always go so well for them? Glancing at the tree on her roof and then at the man who’d made it happen, Jane felt herself smile. At least that was something.

  *

  Danny pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. It was comfortable, like they’d done this particular routine a thousand times. If her tales of woe earlier that evening had brought him down, she couldn’t tell. He was smiling and humming along with the Christmas music on the radio. He seemed happy and at ease, and Jane wished she could hold on to some holiday spirit for more than five minutes.

  Her phone buzzed in her bag, and when she pulled it out, she saw a few text messages had come in. One was from her mother, one was from Tracy, and one was from Gary, her lawyer. Her lawyer? It was eleven-thirty at night, over a holiday weekend. What the devil was he thinking?

  It didn’t say much, which was getting to be the norm, but hearing from him was definitely progress. Until she read the message, which indicated anything but. No word, it said. Nothing else.

  It put her back up, and she typed furiously back into her phone. I need answers.

  “He probably thought I was asleep,” she mumbled.

  “What?” Danny had no idea what she was talking about. “Who thinks you’re asleep?”

  “Gary. My lawyer. He just sent me a text. ‘No word.’ That’s all it said.”

  Danny gripped the steering wheel with both hands, tension evident in his fingers. Jane wondered if he was angry that she couldn’t let go of the issues with the bookstore for one night. They’d been having such a good time. Had she ruined it?

  “His timing was impeccable.” Danny was very still, and obviously annoyed.

  “Tell me about it. I’m sorry.” With trembling hands, she fished her keys from her bag. Her life was never-ending whiplash, with her feelings being yanked around from one side to another, all while she tried to maintain her calm.

  She didn’t know if she was feeling off because of Danny, or her business. Maybe it was a little of both. Him and her business. Both disasters waiting to happen. Why was she opening herself up to this kind of heartache? Especially when she had no idea how to be in a relationship.

  It was fine. She could regain control of the situation. He’d help her get the tree in the stand, and then he could go, with her thanks. Jane could put on her pajamas and eat all the chocolate mousse pie that was left over from Thanksgiving.

  But therein lay the rub. Jane didn’t want him to go. She loved being with him, and the thought of the night ending made her desperately unhappy.

  She was crazy. That was it, she was plain old crazy. She didn’t know how to manage her business or her life, and it was going to be a glorious crash when it all went down.

  He’d obviously regrouped, much more resilient than she was. “Come on. Since you don’t have to work tomorrow, we can put on the lights too.”

  “That’s not necessary,” she said quietly.

  “It’s no problem. It will be fun.” He seemed intent on getting her to have a good time, which should be endearing, but Jane was too exhausted.

  Why didn’t he listen? There must have been something in the male genetic makeup that made them selectively deaf.

  “You don’t have to do this, Danny. I’m not your project.” Jane got out of the car, and closed the door. Keys in her hand, she started toward the back door, but she froze when she heard him close the driver’s side door.

  “Janie, come on.” He didn’t sound angry. In fact, he sounded annoyingly rational. Jane looked up at a sky that was crystal clear and a deep midnight blue. Now that the storm had blown out to sea, the stars twinkled and blinked, and Jane would wish on every one of them if she could.

  She’d wish for answers. And wisdom. Lots and lots of wisdom.

  The excuse that a relationship with him was out of the question was wearing a little thin because it was patently untrue. It was time for Jane to admit that she didn’t just want him, she needed him.

  But that ran contrary to the person she’d always been. She didn’t ask for help. Ever. Jane was the helper. If she’d learned anything about herself, it was that feeling dependent on anyone made her uncomfortable. She’d been let down before, and it was just safer to keep her trust circle very small. She had her people and they should be enough.

  Standing with her at the bottom of the stoop, he rested his hands on her shoulders with gentle patience.

  “Talk to me.” He seemed honestly confused, and why wouldn’t he be? He’d done everything right. He was kind and helpful. He listened. He kissed like a dream. He wasn’t staying, but that didn’t stop her heart from going all in. She’d tried, hadn’t she?

  Staring into his ocean blue eyes, Jane drowned in the knowledge that it was already too late. That genie was out of the bottle. For good.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to someone else taking charge of my life.”

  “Taking charge? I thought I was being a friend.” His eyes narrowed, not buying her excuse. “Why don’t you tell me why you really sniped at me just now? And for the record, I don’t consider you a project.”

  He wanted a confession? Yeah. That was the perfect way to feel festive. His eyes were locked on hers, intense and unwavering as he waited for her to answer.

  “Let’s go inside,” he suggested.

  “Okay. Did you grab the soup?”

  He held up a small brown paper handle bag. “Right here.”

  They’d picked up two bowls of chowder at a local pub that had a particularly good late-night menu. Jane didn’t have much of an appetite after snapping Danny’s head off, and ruminating about everything that could go wrong wasn’t helping, but she wasn’t going to admit to any of that either.

  There wasn’t much they could talk about if she kept pulling things off the table.

  The house was quiet. Her mother was upstairs in bed, and Tara was staying at a friend’s house. The only one there to meet them was Chloe, and her girl conveyed to her that she definitely was not happy about being on her own today. That was until she saw Danny, and her pooch’s mood picked right up.

  It seemed her dog was as gone over him as she was.

  They settled in without speaking. He took her coat and hung it in the mudroom and then let the dog out while she put the soup in mugs and gave each one a shot in the microwave. She found some crusty rolls in the bread box, and poured them both a glass of wine.

  He gave an occasional glance outside, watching for the dog quietly, and there was something so sweet about it. He was ridiculously handsome, rugged and rumpled; he looked like he belonged in this house, in this town. But he also had a refinement, a sensitivity that you generally only found in a man who was secure with who he was. Rough patches and all, Danny knew himself, and that was, without a doubt, the most attractive thing about him.

  By the time Danny let the dog in, Jane had them set up at the island for a cozy late supper. It was like they’d been doing this forever. An intimate night in, wine, a Christmas tree, two people who had known each other forever, all combined to make the scenario perfectly romantic, or perfectly ordinary. Whatever it was, the comfort of it all scared her to death.

  Dan sat down and took a sip of his wine, nodding approval. “I’m not usually a white wine guy, but this is good.”

  “It’s one of my favorites to have with seafood.”

  �
��Ah. I like it.” He took a spoonful of soup. “Mmm. That’s really good. I’ll bring the tree in after we finish.”

  “Thank you. I do appreciate your help.”

  “Okay.” He grinned, and dabbed at the corner of his mouth with the napkin she’d put out. “I think we should talk about your lease.”

  “Ugh. No. I’m sorry I snapped. It’s not your fault.” Being called out made her uncomfortable, but she deserved it. He was only trying to help, and she’d been mean.

  “I know. But I want to tell you something…”

  Jane cut him off. “No. I’ve been totally irrational about it. I don’t want to ruin our evening. You’ve been wonderful, and the project comment, well, it wasn’t fair. I’m just not used to…”

  “Being handled?” She started to object, but Danny waved it off. He put the spoon in the soup mug and leaned back in his chair. “You have a point. I can be overbearing sometimes. I forget that my way of managing something isn’t your way. I’m a fixer. It can be a problem. Ask my sister.”

  “No. It’s not your fault. Like you said, you’re trying to help, but I’m not good at accepting it. You obviously didn’t get the memo that I’m the one who does the helping.”

  “I wouldn’t have known.” He bit his lower lip to hide his smile.

  “Go ahead. Make fun.”

  “Later.” He reached out and took her hand. “We have to talk about the elephant in the room. Your lawyer…”

  “Stop. I don’t want to talk about it.” Jane folded her arms almost defiantly, but she couldn’t hold the pose when Chloe decided to goose her backside. “Jeez, dog!”

  A short burst of laughter came flying out of Danny as he watched Jane pop out of her seat. He sobered quickly, however, and squeezed her hand again. “Okay. No real estate talk tonight.”

  “Good,” she said.

  “We’re a pair, aren’t we?” The amused rumble from his core was low and sexy.

  “It’s true, though. I’m not good at asking for help,” she said. “I’m just not. It annoys everyone. I’m stubborn.”