by Renee Roman
“I found an apartment and I’m going to help with painting and stuff.” She shrugged as though the news wasn’t a big deal.
The look on Jill’s face told a different story. The pools shimmering in her eyes made Hudson wish things were different, but it was time. Past time.
“Don’t make this harder than it already is. You said yourself you knew I wouldn’t be here forever.”
Jill slumped back. “I just didn’t think it would be so soon.” She blinked several times and sighed before reaching into a bag and pulling out a cinnamon bun. “So, when are you leaving?”
Hudson laughed. “Oh, so now you can’t wait to get rid of me?” She shoved Jill’s arm, almost knocking her off the chair.
They were in fits of laughter when a sleepy-eyed Cathy emerged from her bedroom. “Hey, what’s going on? I just got to bed and you two are already having breakfast?”
Hudson gestured to a chair and handed her a donut before she told her the news. Cathy looked sadder than she’d ever seen her.
Chapter Nine
The sky lightened and cast a myriad of colors across the glass-like reflection making it easy to see the gathering of water bugs. The sun welcomed Hudson with its heat as it burned the mist off the river’s surface. Peace surrounded her. She sat and watched the fish swimming lazily alongside the kayak. Her kayak. It had taken a while to find one. Today was the first of many days she would be spending on one of the nearby lakes, rivers, and streams.
Aside from the dojo, kayaking was her second love. Her paddle cut through the water with a slow, steady rhythm and her mind wandered to the past few days. She and Ari had agreed on the preparations for the main floor and the idea of having something to occupy her otherwise solitary hours excited her. The awkwardness between them disappeared once they focused their attention on the house. She couldn’t ignore her growing attraction and was determined to keep it at bay. There wasn’t any reason to complicate an already strained friendship. Besides, she wasn’t even sure Ari wanted more than her help with her business and respect for their living arrangements. She hoped it would be her last move in Albany for a long time.
* * *
Hudson’s footfalls echoed in the empty space, reminding her of the hollow feeling in her heart. “This isn’t the same, so stop,” Hudson said, talking to herself.
“What isn’t the same?” Ari leaned against the doorway, concern creasing her forehead.
Ari’s voice surprised her. Hudson looked down and toed a clump of dried dirt loose. “Nothing.”
Ari moved over and stood in front of her, forcing Hudson to meet her gaze. “It didn’t sound like nothing.”
She attempted a reassuring grin. “Just a ghost from the past, but it’s gone now.”
Ari nodded. “Okay. Just for the record, I’m a good listener if you want to talk.”
The lump in her throat threatened to choke her. She didn’t want to use Ari’s concern as a crutch or another excuse to feel sorry for herself. “Thanks.”
Ari dropped the bags she’d brought on the counter and rubbed her hands together. “What’s today’s game plan?”
Hudson wondered if Ari would be excited once she got dirty. She didn’t appear to be a woman who had experience tackling home projects on a regular basis. “Spackling, scraping, and a little demo. I went to the home improvement store this morning and picked up a few sample paints along with a bunch of charts I’d like you to look at.”
Ari balked. “Ugh…I told you I haven’t got an artistic…”
Hudson held up her hand. “You need to be involved in the color choices for your home. I need your help.” She crossed her arms over her chest, making it clear she wasn’t giving in to Ari’s pouting, no matter how cute she looked.
“Fine. Show me.”
She pulled three small containers from a bag. “The master bedroom needs the least amount of work, so we’ll start there.” She painted a sample of each color on the wall and turned to Ari whose mouth was open as she stared at the choices. She looked between the wall and Ari.
“What?”
“How am I supposed to pick? They’re all so different.” Ari put her hands on her hips and moved in for a closer look. “Are you sure you want my input?”
“Depends,” Hudson said.
“On what?”
“On how many times you’re going to make that face.” She made a circular motion at Ari with her finger, indicating the pursed lips and rolling eyes.
“Are you always this smooth?” Ari asked.
“Only when I want to make a point.”
“And what point is that?”
“That you can’t get out of making some decisions,” Hudson said.
“I don’t see why you can’t just do whatever. You said you were so good at design,” Ari huffed in response.
“Well, I’m sure as hell not going to pick your bedroom color for you.” Hudson didn’t mean to sound frustrated, but if this was an example of what she was in store for, getting the house ready would take a lot longer than she first thought.
“Please don’t raise your voice,” Ari said.
Sighing and shaking her head, she leaned against the wall, determined to come to an agreement on the color. “I’m sorry. It was—never mind.” She glanced at the choices again. “Okay, tell me what one you don’t like.”
“I’m not fond of any shade of purple.” Ari pointed to the middle one.
“That’s not purple. It’s gray.” Hudson leaned next to the sample and blinked. “Like my eyes.”
“Funny, but it still looks purple to me.”
They weren’t making much headway, so she conceded. “Okay. No purple. Do you like one more than the other?” The left sample was a honey tone and the right a deep sage.
Chewing her lip, Ari shrugged. “I suck at this.” She didn’t sound upset, just resigned. “I like them both.”
“So you want me to paint stripes?”
“God, no! That would be hideous,” Ari gasped.
Hudson hadn’t been serious, but Ari wasn’t getting the hint that they needed to move on and decided to try a different approach. “How do you want your bedroom to feel?”
Ari rested her hands on her hips. “That’s ridiculous. A room doesn’t have hands.”
She pulled her hand down over her face. This process was taxing her nerves. “No, no. I mean do you want it calming, energized, fun?
“Unless you plan on putting a merry-go-round in there, I don’t think it can be fun, do you?”
Hudson had all she could do to refrain from giving her a sarcastic remark. Yes, she did think a bedroom could be fun, depending on what she was doing and with whom. Instead, she rolled her eyes. “What color is your bedding?”
“Yellow and white flowers on a tan background.”
“Perfect. Then the green will work.”
Ari uncrossed her arms and then tapped her chin with a finger.
“Problem?”
“Just trying to visualize.”
Hudson wished she had a box of crayons so she could draw it for Ari. Maybe Ari didn’t see her sense of humor. Maybe Ari didn’t know she was attempting to be funny and silently sighed.
“Do you want to stop?”
Ari dropped her hands to her side. “No.”
“Good. The master bathroom’s next.” The samples were already on the wall and she was glad she’d only picked two. Ari could only stall for so long in choosing one. She waved at the wall. With only a small window in the room, she wanted to keep it light. The white tiles helped.
“Left. I really like the left one,” Ari said with enthusiasm, pointing to a lighter shade of the honey she’d seen as a bedroom color option.
“Nice choice. You can connect the two rooms by adding green accessories in here like towels and rugs.”
Ari’s face beamed and Hudson’s earlier frustration faded away. She needed to remember this was Ari’s first home. She had to be patient. Ari wasn’t deliberately difficult. True to her word of wanting to help
, Ari spackled holes and scraped loose paint while Hudson put two coats on the master bedroom and bathroom ceilings. When she finally took a break, Ari had a spread of food waiting in the kitchen. Her stomach rumbled in response. All she’d had for breakfast was juice and a power bar.
“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I got a bunch of stuff.” Ari waved at the items on the table. “I cleaned the refrigerator the other day and stocked it with drinks. I’m going to replace it with a bigger one, but since it’s new, I may put it in the garage for extra storage.” She sat and handed Hudson a paper plate. “Dig in.”
Hudson took a small portion of each salad and made a sandwich, then went to the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and looked over her shoulder, catching Ari’s pointed stare.
“Want anything?”
She knew Ari had been watching her backside from the way she blushed.
“Iced tea.” Ari focused on her plate and began to scoop without paying attention.
Hudson set down the tea and looked at Ari’s plate. “Wow. You must have really worked up an appetite.”
Ari’s plate was heaped with piles of potato salad and macaroni and cheese. She confessed. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
Leaning back, Hudson waited until Ari looked up. “Do I make you nervous?”
Ari froze with her fork poised in the air. “Not nervous.” She took a breath and met Hudson’s questioning stare. “I feel different around you.” She laughed. “And clumsy.”
Hudson chortled. “No offense, but I have to agree with you there.”
“None taken.”
“Do I have food on my face?” Hudson wiped at the corners of her mouth, where Ari had been staring.
“No, no. You’re fine.”
They ate in companionable silence until she was full. Hudson pushed away her plate and took a drink. “Where did you go? It looked like you were a million miles away.”
Ari stared at her food, no longer eating. “I was just thinking about everything we’ve planned to get done in such a short time.”
Hudson took Ari’s hand in hers. “You can count on me to help you get there. You know that, right?”
Ari seemed to be daydreaming again. “I…” she rasped. “I do know and I’m grateful, but the onus is still on me.” She slipped her hand from under Hudson’s.
“Just so it’s clear I’m not going to bail on you.” Hudson tossed their plates in the garbage and began picking up containers.
Ari jumped up. “Here. Let me do this. You go start whatever’s next, and I’ll join you in a few.” She practically pushed her out of the way.
Hudson snapped the lid on the salad container and stood back. “Okay.”
Ari kept her eyes downcast. “Now shoo.”
Hudson headed down the hall and called over her shoulder. “Thanks for lunch. It was delicious.”
* * *
Hudson moved the drop cloth, poured paint into a plastic cup, and tried to make sense of the last half hour. Ari was nervous around her. Had been since their first meeting. Today it was even more evident. Ari had been staring at her and blushed when she’d been caught. Maybe Hudson wasn’t the only one fantasizing. Ego get in the way much? They’d agreed to be friends and nothing more. Then why do I get the feeling there’s more to the story?
She didn’t want to think about other possibilities. She remembered the panic attack she had when she’d looked that way at another woman. Maybe that’s what was so disconcerting. Ari didn’t make her panic. She made her feel—good. It was time to focus her attention away from Ari, at least for the time being.
Light streamed into the room through the wavy panes of original glass, adding to the existing charm. The molding and doorframes were also original, and she admired them all the more for having been left unpainted. Ari had told her the house was built in the early 1920s, although the exact date seemed to be sketchy. She had a good feeling about the integrity of the structure. It had solid bones, built on a solid foundation. Just like the start of any good relationship. Jesus. I really need to get back to reality. She shook her head and looked up.
Hudson checked the ceilings and formed a game plan. She wanted to finish both today and hoped Ari would stick around long enough to talk about the biggest project—the kitchen. She didn’t know if she could take it on solo, but since they hadn’t discussed the details she wasn’t sure what it would entail. In the meantime, she had plenty of other rooms to occupy her time.
Chapter Ten
With her roommates in class, Hudson didn’t have to share the contents of the care package she’d received from her mothers. She blew across her spoon and savored the flavor of the rich broth and tender meat. She missed home-cooked meals almost as much as she missed them, and thought about her earlier phone call.
“Hello.”
The voice on the other end always made her happy. “Hi, Momma. How are you?”
“Hudson! I thought you’d been kidnapped or something. Between you and your brother, I’m at my wits end most of the time.”
Momma G. loved to tease. It was an old game they played. “It hasn’t been that long. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“How are you doing?”
“I’m okay,” she said. “I wanted to let you know I found an apartment.”
“Oh, honey, that’s great news. When do you move?”
“It’s kind of complicated. I’m helping with the painting and stuff, so it will be a month or two.”
“With everything else on your plate, do you have time for that?”
Hudson thought of how much Ari depended on her. It was an honor to have her trust and she wouldn’t take it lightly. “It’s doable. The landlord and I have worked out a deal on the rent. It’s exactly what I was looking for. I’ll finally have a place to call my own.”
She heard her mother puttering in the kitchen. It was another familiar sound that brought comfort she hadn’t realized she needed. Or maybe she did and was the real reason behind her call. She missed her parents.
“You’ll work it out. You always do.” Momma G. paused for a beat. “There’s something else going on.”
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Know something’s up even when you can’t see my face,” Hudson said.
“I’m your mother. I sure as hell better know when something is going on in my daughter’s life. Talk to me, honey.”
Hudson leaned back on the couch, not sure where to begin. “How do you and Mom manage to be so…happy? After all these years, how does it still work?” No, that wasn’t quite it. “How did you find love?” She heard the wooden chair scrape across the floor.
“I don’t think love is something you find, baby girl. I think love finds you. When I first met Dale, I thought she was the most stubborn woman alive. Still do. But I also couldn’t stay away. Something deep inside gnawed at me whenever I was around her. That, and the fact she just didn’t take no for an answer had a lot to do with it.” She chuckled. “I finally gave in and we went on our first date. And then there was another, and another. I could feel the heat between us, despite her little quirks that made me crazy. I couldn’t stay away because there were so many times Dale amazed me. Not just by what she said, but what she did.”
The gentle tone of her mother’s voice told her everything she needed to hear. Mom D. had found a place in Momma G.’s heart and there wasn’t anything she could do but go with it. It sounded familiar, but it still scared the shit out of her.
“Hudson?”
“Hmm?”
“You’ll know, honey. There won’t be a doubt in your mind because no matter what your head tells you, you won’t be able to convince your heart it isn’t love.”
“Thanks, Momma.”
“I hope I helped a little. Love isn’t easy to explain and it never fits in a box, but it’s definitely a gift.”
“I’ll try to remember that.” Despite the turmoil she was feeling about Ari, at least now she could try to let things
between them work itself out.
“You take care of you. Okay?”
“Yes, Momma, I will. Is Mom home?” She couldn’t talk to one and not the other without landing in a world of trouble.
“No. She’s running around delivering vegetables to friends. Why she insists on planting so much I’ll never know. We can’t eat half of what’s grown before it rots. I told her I’m not spending another weekend canning. You know her. She smiles and nods, saying ‘Okay, okay,’ just to keep the peace. I love her most of the time, but every once in a while…”
“You want to strangle her?” Hudson asked.
“Yep. You might get an early inheritance if she keeps this up.”
“Momma!”
Her mother’s infectious laughter closed the distance between them. “You wait and see. Anywho, I’ll tell her you called and fill her in. Don’t make it so long next time.”
“Okay, Momma, I promise. I love you both.”
“I love you, too. Ta-ta.”
* * *
Ari’s master suite was finished, and while the rest of the flat was in disarray, at least she could bring some of her things home. Hudson had put in long hours over the last week. Ari was off on Thursday and wanted to see how much progress had been made. She would text Hudson to ask what projects she could do on her own. At nine o’clock there was little activity in the neighborhood aside from the occasional walkers. She pulled into the driveway and found lights blazing inside. Parking beside Hudson’s vehicle, she shook her head. Doesn’t this woman ever sleep?
“Hudson?” she called out.
“In the living room.”
Ari crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the archway. Hudson stood on the stepladder. She watched the steady flex and contraction of her muscles as she painted the trim near the ceiling. The masterpiece of Hudson in action was a sight to behold. She ignored the ensuing throb even though she craved more.