Cowboy Strong - Includes a bonus novella

by Carolyn Brown

  Chapter Thirteen

  Thank god it isn’t raining, Alana thought as she waited for Pax to return with her whiskey. “Oh, no!” she muttered when she remembered that she’d been bargaining with God an hour before. Falling was her punishment for thinking that she as a mere human had anything that she could trade for more time with her father.

  God doesn’t punish people for talking to Him. He knows you love your daddy and that you are scared about life without him. Tonight is on Rachel, not God. Her mother’s voice was so clear in her head that she looked to both sides to see if she was actually right there.

  “Okay, I get it,” she whispered.

  “You get what?” Pax handed a red plastic cup over the side of the truck bed.

  “That I can’t bargain with God,” she answered.

  “I think we’ve all done that at some time in our lives,” he said.

  She took a sip of her whiskey. The smooth warmth of it flowed all the way down to her stomach. “What do you really want out of life, Paxton? I’ve been giving that question a lot of thought lately. When Daddy’s gone, I’m going to have a lot of responsibility, so I need a plan. I need to think about where I’m going. I need to have my children now so I can teach them what they need to know so they can carry on the legacy that Daddy has worked so hard to leave to me.”

  Pax crawled up from the tailgate to sit beside her. He stretched his long legs out and took a sip of his whiskey. “That’s some heavy thinkin’ there. Maybe you should concentrate on getting through the wedding first. One-day-at-a-time stuff, you know.”

  “I need a plan to survive one day at a time,” she said. “Surely you’ve got a chart of some kind for the rest of your life, even if it’s a loose one.” She thought of all the time she and Pax had wasted already. If she’d gotten married five years ago, she could already have at least two kids, maybe three, and her father would have gotten to spend some time with his grandchildren. Better yet, they would have gotten to know him.

  “To tell you the truth, I don’t,” he said. “But now you’ve got me spooked. I need to think about more than just the day ahead. Grandpa and Mam built the Callahan Ranch with sweat, tears, and a lot of calluses. It wouldn’t be right to let it go to ruin or sell it to strangers when my generation passes away. We have a responsibility to teach our children to love the land like we do, don’t we?”

  “So my plan is that I will have my first child by the time I’m thirty. That means that we should get our divorce or annulment as soon as possible so I can find a husband, and I’ll need to get pregnant on my wedding night.” The plan sounded good in her head, and completely doable.

  “You plan on doing all that in less than eighteen months?” Pax took another sip of his whiskey. “If we have to get a divorce, you can’t remarry for six months, then you’ll have to find a husband and have a baby in one year. You better adjust your calendar, girl. Maybe that first child shouldn’t come along until say thirty-five.”

  Now her new plan was ruined as quickly as it was formed. She couldn’t wait until she was thirty-five to have kids, not if she got a brain tumor at fifty-five. There wasn’t a twenty-year-old in the whole state of Texas who could be taught to run a ranch by that age. She’d have to make a new plan. Dammit! She should’ve gotten married right out of high school like her mama had.

  She set the whiskey to the side. “I hope I did get pregnant when we had sex without protection.”

  Pax spit good whiskey all over the side of the truck bed. “Good God, Alana! What if your child, whenever you have one, has no interest in ranchin’? Ever think of that? Maybe you’ll have a son who wants to be an artist or a schoolteacher.”

  “Sorry, but you can’t convince me of that. Not with both our ranchin’ blood. It would simplify things so much. I don’t really need a husband. I’m perfectly capable of raising a baby as a single mother. If I am pregnant, I won’t even ask you for child support. You can fade away into the foggy past,” she said.

  “I might not have a big plan, Alana Joy Carey, but like I told you before, I will always be a part of the life of whatever child I father, so forget that bullshit. If you’re pregnant, I won’t give you a divorce.” He downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp. “Look at us, trying to figure out the future, when we can’t even get a good firm grip on the present.”

  “We ain’t got a choice,” Alana sighed. “Life says we’ve played too long, and now it’s time for us both to be adults. Kind of scary ain’t it? And Pax, I love you too much as a friend to rope you into a lifetime of marriage that you didn’t want. But you never answered my question. What do you want?”

  “I want what Maverick and Bridget have. Matter of fact, I want what Hud and Rose have, what Tag and Nikki have, and all the other couples at the ranches in Sunset. I want what Grandpa and Mam had,” he answered without hesitation.

  “And that is…?” she asked.

  “Unconditional, complete love that will last forever,” he said.

  “And how do you know when you’ve got it?” Alana asked.

  “My heart will tell me,” he answered. “Grandpa told me that he knew right here”—Pax tapped his chest—“when he’d found the right woman. I’m depending on the same feeling to hit me.”

  “I’d like something a lot more concrete, like the name of my forever soul mate to be written in the stars, or maybe for a halo to appear over his head when we’re sitting beside each other in church,” she said.

  “That’s not asking for much,” he chuckled, but his tone suggested the opposite.

  “I don’t think so.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “As my friend, I believe you could arrange that for me, right?”

  “Sure I can.” Pax kissed her on the top of her head. “Anything for you, darlin’.”

  * * *

  Alana chose a cute little white sundress with a red short-sleeved knit cardigan to cover up her farmer’s tan for the wedding shower. She started to wear a pair of flat sandals but chose red wedge-heeled sandals, a luxury she would have never had with anyone else she’d dated. According to Trudy, the shower would last from two to four, but the bride and groom should plan to stay a little longer, since it might take extra time to open all the gifts.

  Alana shook her head at her reflection in the mirror. “They’ll all have to be sent back after the annulment. That’ll be quite an undertaking for sure.”

  “Hey, are you excited?” Matt poked his head in her bedroom door. “I heard you talking. Were you on the phone?”

  “No, I was mumbling,” she answered, glad that he hadn’t heard her exact words.

  “Well, are you excited about the shower?” he asked. “I remember when they gave me and your mother a wedding shower, and we finally got to move into what’s the bunkhouse now. My mother was already gone, but Dad let us have that place as our own, and your mama had such a good time putting homey touches on it.” He stared off into space, as if he was reliving those first days of marriage. “We were happy there, and then a year later, your grandfather got killed, so we moved into the big house—this place. It took both of us a while to be as happy here as we were out in the bunkhouse.”

  “Yes, Daddy, I’m very excited,” she said. “But we have everything we could possibly need right here already, so I’m wondering what we’ll do with extra toasters and blenders. Not that I don’t appreciate everything that will be done for us. Don’t get me wrong.” She finished brushing out her hair and turned to face him. “How do I look?”

  “Like you’re in love,” Matt told her. “I’m glad that guys go to these things nowadays. I don’t want to miss a single moment of all this, and I’m real happy that Pax didn’t mind you going with me. He and Iris are going to meet us at the door, so y’all can walk in together.”

  Alana looped her arm into her father’s. “Let’s go unwrap presents. That part I do love.”

  A hot wind swept across her face when they stepped out of the air-conditioned house onto the porch. Maybe that was the devil telling her that
he owned her soul for so much lying lately—reminding her of how hot hell was going to be. If that was the case, then so be it. She wouldn’t change a thing because her dad was happy. And since he’d stopped that medication, he was even lucid most of the time again.

  On the way to the church fellowship hall, she replayed the conversation she’d had with Pax. Basically, he wanted the same thing she did. A home, a family, and someone to leave his ranch to when he was finished with life on this earth. She wondered if they’d remain friends and good neighbors after everything was over and done with.

  When they reached the church, the parking lot was full. Matt nosed his truck in right beside Pax’s out at the far edge of the lot, shut off the engine, and turned to face Alana. “We got so busy, I forgot to ask about the reunion last night.”

  “It went fine, Daddy,” she answered. “Pax and I spent a lot of the time out in the bed of his truck, talking about the future. Having the party at the school wasn’t a good idea. I’ll have to tell you more about it this evening. Looks like Pax is on his way to escort me inside.”

  Matt climbed out of the truck and waved at his future son-in-law. “I’m going on in. Y’all hang back a minute or two so you can make an entrance. Folks love that,” he told Alana. “Be sure to look around the room and thank everyone personally as you open the gifts.”

  “Yes, sir.” Alana nodded. A month ago his saying that would have upset her, but now that she had only a limited amount of time with him, it was endearing.

  “You look stunning,” Pax said as he opened the truck door for her and extended a hand. “But then you always do.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “You clean up pretty good too, for an old ranchin’ cowboy.”

  “Do my best.” He tipped his hat at her.

  His hand on her lower back as he escorted her into the fellowship hall sent tingles of desire up her spine and through her body. When they walked through the doors, she gasped, not because of the heat created by his hand, but by all the gifts piled up on two ten-foot tables. Good God, it would take hours to open them, and sending them all back would take weeks. She thought about owning up to her deviousness right then and there and calling the whole thing off.

  Matt slipped up beside her and whispered, “You are loved.”

  “Yes, I am,” she said with a wide smile on her face. “Thank all y’all. I’m wondering how in the world we will get through all the presents in only two hours. You’ve outdone yourselves.”

  “You’ve always been willin’ for anything from helping with the Christmas program to dinners. This is our little way of giving back to you,” Trudy said. “And, honey, we’re planning on giving you and the wedding party a little brunch the morning of the wedding right here in the hall.”

  “That’s so kind of you.” Alana blinked back tears when she glanced over at her father and saw the pride in his expression. “Thank you again. Where should we sit?”

  “Right here beside me,” Matt said. “Pax sits beside you, and Iris beside him.”

  Alana’s heart felt like it had chains wrapped around it as she passed homemade quilts, fancy needlepoint pillows, and other handmade gifts to Trudy to display on the gift table. She had no idea so many of the folks in Daisy would send such priceless gifts, and guilt wrapped itself around her like a blanket made of ice.

  When the last item, a lovely crocheted throw in the colors of a beautiful Texas sunset, had passed through her hands, she stood up with tears flowing down her cheeks and faced all the people. “Thank you for this wonderful outpouring of love. These gifts are really amazing and I love every one of you for your friendship and care y’all have given me and my daddy all these years. It’s great to live in a small town, even if everyone does know everything that goes on.”

  Everyone chuckled and then gave her a standing ovation. She didn’t even realize that Pax was standing beside her until he handed her his handkerchief. She dabbed her eyes with it, and said, “I’m overwhelmed with emotion.”

  “I’d like to thank all y’all too,” Pax said. “I’m glad that I was raised amongst folks who love and take care of each other. Y’all are the best, and I’ve got to admit, I’m more than a little overwhelmed myself. When we decided to get married in only a month, we had no idea that the whole town would come together like this to support us.”

  “Most young couples are overwhelmed. Just keep that fresh love in your hearts, and it’ll help you get through the tough times.” Trudy dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “Now let’s have some refreshments. Instead of ordering a store-bought cake, we asked each of the hostesses to bring one. I hear that you’re partial to lemon, Alana, so I brought that kind. Miz Minnie brought chocolate, and I think Darlene brought her better-than-sex cake, but since we’re in church, we call it Hawaiian Delight,” Trudy giggled.

  “Church or not, it lives up to its name,” Iris said. “You’ve gotten a good shower, kids, and most of your gifts are things you’ll use and cherish. Folks know that y’all already have a house full of necessary things so they tried to give you handmade things that would touch your hearts.”

  “It really is pretty awesome.” Pax looked at his grandmother. “We’re so glad that you could be here, Mam.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for all the dirt in Texas,” she said. “Now I’m going for some of Darlene’s cake before it all gets served. It might not be better than sex for you two, but at my age, it damn sure is.” She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and said, “Pardon me, Lord, for swearing in church.”

  “Now y’all go sit down at the head table,” Trudy said. “We’ll bring a sampling of all the cakes for you to try.”

  Pax slid Alana’s chair in for her and then took a seat in the one beside her. “Who’d have thought this would have gotten so out of hand.”

  “Want to go back and change your mind?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Look at Matt and Mam. I don’t want to tell them that we’ve been lying to them.”

  “Daddy won’t ever know, but you will have to tell Iris,” she whispered.

  “I think, since I agreed to this as a favor to you, that you should tell her,” Pax told her.

  “Oh, no, that’s your job. It’s in the agreement.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Remember when you proposed, you said that you’d do anything to make me happy.”

  “Nope, I do not remember that.” He frowned.

  She patted his hand. “You were tired, and you’d probably spent the night before with some bar bunny, so you don’t remember. Oh, look, darlin’, at all the cake.” She clapped her hands and squealed for the benefit of those watching.

  Three of the hostesses had formed a parade and were coming right at them. One had a platter full of different cakes. Another had a tray that held two glasses and a pitcher of lemonade, and the last one had a platter of finger foods.

  “This all looks amazing,” Alana said. “I’m sure the cake testing for the wedding cake won’t be nearly this good.”

  Trudy beamed. “We loved putting it together for you and wanted you to have something special.”

  “Well, you’ve all gone above and beyond,” Pax said. “I’m starting with a bite of that chocolate cake.”

  “We’ve got to get back and serve all the folks. Y’all enjoy. I’m sure Matt and Iris and Bridget and Maverick will join y’all soon. I wish your whole wedding party could have been here, but we’ll get to see them at the brunch,” Trudy said.

  “Yes, you will.” Alana put a bite of lemon cake into her mouth. “Trudy, could I get you to make a couple of these for the wedding?”

  Trudy really beamed at that request. “Honey, you tell me how many you need, and I’ll deliver them the morning of the wedding?”

  “Thank you.” Alana nodded. “I’m thinking maybe we’ll have a small wedding cake, something to cut for tradition, and then serve your cake to the people. It’s always been my favorite at get-togethers.”

  Trudy laid a hand over her heart. “I would be honored, and I’ll save back
a big square for you today.” She winked and hustled off to help serve.

  “That was sweet of you,” Pax said.

  “I really do like this cake that much, and besides”—she looked around to be sure no one was listening—“she’s going to blame me for the annulment. That means she damn sure won’t offer to make lemon cakes for my second wedding if I ever have one. And you can bet your sexy little cowboy butt there won’t be another shower, either.”

  Pax picked up a chicken salad sandwich. “Well, darlin’, I’m right glad to get to be a part of your first wedding, and for the record, I don’t imagine Trudy’s going to lay all the blame on you. I bet I get my fair share.”

  She leaned over and brushed a kiss across his lips. “I really do thank you for everything.”

  “Anything for you, my darlin’.” He laid his sandwich down, picked up her hand, and kissed her knuckles.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Two things that Alana had always envied were classmates who had mothers to bring cupcakes to school instead of a nanny and those kids who had siblings. After church on Sunday morning, Iris insisted that Matt and Alana join them at the Callahan Ranch for dinner. She’d made a huge pot roast, and Bridget had made scones and a lovely peach pie. There was plenty, she said, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

  When Alana walked through the door at the Callahan Ranch, memories flooded over her like a warm spring rain. She’d spent time in the small farmhouse when she was a kid, and she’d always loved the bantering that went on between Maverick and Paxton. But what she’d liked even more was riding the bus to their house and walking in to the aroma of cookies or bread fresh from the oven. Her nanny didn’t make supper and left as soon as Matt came in the back door, so Alana cherished the moments she spent at Iris’s house.