Can't Walk Away

by Molly McLain

  “Son of bitch.” Mark ripped himself out of Parker’s grasp and raced toward the door a second time. There still weren’t any flames that he could see, but what the crew didn’t know was that Ally had asthma. Mostly seasonable, but the smoke was burning his lungs just standing outside. He couldn’t imagine what it was doing to hers.

  “For God’s sake, Dunn!” Nick again. Jumping in front of him like a brick wall. “Do not make me have your guy put cuffs on his own sheriff.”

  “Then get her out!”

  “It’s a fire in the oven, Dunn, and she’s not in the kitchen. They’re looking for her.”

  “She has fucking asthma.” I could still lose her. Before I even tell her I love her.

  “It’s thick in there and they’re working as fast as they can. They’ll find her and we’ll get her what she needs. Just back off and let my men do their job.”

  The ambulance pulled into the lot then and the paramedics hurried out, just as one of the men in yellow rushed out the back door with Ally in his arms.

  “Oh my God.” Mark dodged around Nick and met the firefighter at the back of the rig

  . Ally was like a limp ragdoll. Not struggling for air, but not conscious either. “Get her some oxygen!” he yelled, brushing her hair back from her face as the firefighter laid her out on the stretcher and the EMS workers began doing their thing. One took her pulse while another fit a mask over her face.

  Suddenly, he couldn’t stand. Couldn’t even feel the lower half of his body because, in that second, his life flashed before his eyes. It was all Ally and the time they’d spent together this past year. The future he wanted with her. The fact that she could’ve been safe in his arms tonight if he’d been enough of what she needed.

  He didn’t fucking deserve her. And she was hurt now because of him.

  “Hang on there, Sheriff,” Justin, the EMS driver said, looping an arm around his waist to keep him from hitting the ground. “Let them get her loaded up and you can climb on in, too.”

  One of the paramedics, Shelby, shot him a wicked glare that said she didn’t approve of the invitation, but he didn’t give a shit. He wasn’t leaving Ally.

  Not tonight, not ever.

  ***

  “Acute smoke inhalation, exacerbated by her asthma,” the ER doctor told the small group of Ally’s relatives in the hospital’s waiting room an hour and forty-five minutes later. Of course, Mark already knew that because she’d woken up in the ambulance. She’d been too out of it to acknowledge him, but he’d held her hand the entire time, hoping she’d sense his presence. When they arrived at the hospital, Ally was rushed away and he was sent to wait.

  Luke and her parents arrived a few minutes later and he hadn’t even been able to speak enough to tell them what happened. He’d pushed out of his seat instead, and stalked over to the bay of windows, gasping for breath himself.

  Even now, her father wouldn’t make eye contact with him. Luke and Eileen were more compassionate, but then they didn’t know what a prick he’d been either.

  “I told her she should stay until morning just to be sure she doesn’t have an attack, but she’s fighting me on it. Maybe you could talk some sense into her.” The doctor smiled down at Eileen, who squeezed her husband’s hand.

  “When can we see her?” the older woman asked.

  “Right now. Come on back.” The doctor waved them forward, but Mark hung back. There was nothing he wanted to do more than see her, but he didn’t trust himself enough to lay eyes on her without losing his shit. Like he could’ve very easily lost her.

  “You coming?” Luke asked over his shoulder and Mark shook his head.

  “Nah, I’ll wait. There’s not enough room in that little room for all of us.”

  Luke nodded and went on his way. Mark scrubbed his hands over his face and cursed under his breath.

  How the hell could he ever make this up to her? How? Was it even possible?

  “Hey, boss. Nick found this in the kitchen. Maybe you can get it to Ally?” Parker approached from the entrance with Ally’s purse.

  Mark nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.” Shit, he owed Nick an apology, too. He, of all people, knew what a pain in the ass it was to have more chaos at an already hectic scene and all he’d done was make Nick work harder. Taking him away from his real job of getting Ally out safe and sound.

  “I’ll have one of the guys bring your truck over in a bit. I just wanted to make sure you were still here first,” Parker said.

  “That’d be great. Thanks, man.”

  Parker nodded and thumbed toward the door. “I’m gonna head out then. I’m off duty in five, so...”

  “Hey, listen...I’m sorry about earlier. I...” He what exactly?

  Parker grinned. “Not sure I’ve ever seen you so riled up before.”

  Yeah, well love did that to a man, apparently.

  “Get out of here, Parker.”

  He did and Mark spent the next several minutes glancing at the glass doors separating the triage area and waiting room from the patient area of the ER. Surely Eileen or Luke had told Ally he was there.

  Granted they were doing their family thing right now, but part of him had hoped she’d want to see him too, though the last words she’d said to him suddenly made him question whether or not he even had a right to be sitting there at all.

  He stood again and his hand bumped her purse, tipping it off the chair next to him. It fell forward, landing upside down, its contents spilling out onto the floor.

  “Shit.” He squatted down to stuff the things back inside. Her wallet. Her cell phone. Lip gloss. A white plastic... “What the hell?”

  He turned the stick over and his world tipped right off its axis.

  He literally fell into the chair beside him and if it hadn’t been for his elbow digging into the cushion, he would’ve fallen on his ass, because he might not be a chick, but he was pretty damn sure he knew what two lines meant.

  He stuffed the test into her purse before anyone saw it and, low and behold, there was a second stick. Two more lines. Both bright pink, like a fucking beacon.

  Jesus Christ.

  “We talked her into staying until morning.”

  He snapped the purse shut and glanced up as Eileen and Hank strolled back into the waiting area, their relief apparent. Eileen leaned into her husband as he put an arm around her shoulders.

  Mark nodded and cleared his throat. “Great. I’m glad.”

  Hank grunted and, this time, Mark was the one to avoid eye contact. Luke came out a second later and Hank handed his wife off to their son. “Help your mother outside. I need a word with the sheriff.”

  Luke chuckled, but Mark didn’t see the look on his face, because he couldn’t look at Ally’s brother either. Not knowing what he knew now.

  As soon as he and Hank were alone, the older man stepped forward. He was an imposing man, taller than Mark, even if toothpick thin, and Mark did something he hadn’t done in years. Maybe ever.

  He fucking cowered.

  Dropped his head to his chest and stared holes into the tops of his boots, even when Hank stabbed a finger into his shoulder.

  “I don’t give a shit what you have to do, but you fix you what you wronged with my daughter and you do it tonight.” Hank’s voice was low and gravely. No trace of the quiet compassion there’d been earlier. The man shifted closer again, because apparently he wasn’t done. “Don’t forget that it’s not just me you need to worry about, Sheriff. You’ve got an entire county watching your every move. Would hate to see your personal life reflect badly on your professional reputation.”

  The finger that had drilled a hole into his arm suddenly became soft and Hank patted him on the back like he hadn’t just threatened everything Mark cared about.

  Little did he know...

  “Don’t worry, sir. I know what I’ve gotta do.”

  Now more than ever.

  Chapter Nine

  “Don’t worry, sweetie. We’ll get you moved upstairs in no time and yo
u can shower and get the smoke smell from that beautiful red hair of yours.” The nurse, Deidre, winked at Ally as she came back to the little room with a container of juice and a cereal bar. “Think this will tide you over for the night?”

  Ally nodded, but her mind wasn’t on taking a shower or getting food into her stomach. She was worried about what kind of effects all that smoke and Albuterol in her lungs might have on other parts of her body.

  “Deidre, uh, I know they didn’t have to do any regular labs on me or anything, but, um, I’m wondering if maybe I could have something checked out. You know, while I’m here.”

  The blonde, forty-something woman arched an eyebrow. “What kind of something, darlin’?”

  She opened her mouth to explain when the curtain shifted and a red-eyed, sullen-faced Mark stepped in with her purse clutched in his hands.

  “You know this man, Ms. Barrett?” Deidre asked, her voice light and taunting. Everyone knew Mark. “Because if you don’t, I can have him escorted out by security.” Deidre laughed at her own joke, but it was a wasted effort. Mark wasn’t smiling and Ally suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Mark said firmly, his eyes never leaving hers.

  “Ms. Barrett?” Deidre asked, more serious this time.

  Ally cleared her throat and willed her tears to stay tucked away. “It’s fine.” It wasn’t even a little fine, but she wasn’t up for causing a scene either.

  “Okay, then I’ll bring a chair, and then you can tell me more about what it is you’d like checked out.” Deidre ducked out of the curtain and Mark stood there, unmoving, for what felt like forever.

  “It’s late. I’m sure you have to work in the morning,” she finally said, because damn him. Just damn him for even being there to begin with. And in the ambulance, too. He was so good at acting like he wanted all in, but when it came right down to it, he didn’t. And these mixed signals...they were seriously fucking with her head.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said again, his voice still hard, though something had softened in his expression. Then, “What is it you want checked out, Ally?”

  Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “I, uh...” She glanced away, because God. This wasn’t how she wanted him to find out. Not that she’d had much time to think about it, but she’d assumed she’d have an opportunity to come up with the right words. She’d never told a man he was going to be a father before, so naturally she was a little nervous. Especially because she had no idea how he’d react.

  “Dammit, baby, this is all my fault. If I hadn’t run you off earlier...” His voice was so soft and tortured, she jerked her gaze back to his. His blue eyes were lined with emotion and his nostrils twitched ever so slightly. Like he was barely holding it together and that...that was her undoing.

  Her face crumpled and a sob broke free from her throat. She covered her face with her hands and he closed the space between them, dropping her purse to the floor before he wrapped her up in his big, strong arms. Arms that trembled almost as hard as hers did.

  “Baby, don’t cry,” he murmured in her hair over and over again, but she didn’t stop. If anything she cried harder, not because of the secret she kept, but just being near him filled her with a sense of security she couldn’t explain. With Mark close, she was safe. Her heart might hurt, but she was safe.

  “It’s...it’s not your fault,” she stuttered through the tears, her nose buried in his smoky sweatshirt. But just the trace of scent had her lungs tightening up again and she had to pull back, waving a hand in front of her face and sucking deep breaths of the oxygen still hooked beneath her nose. “I’m sorry, but I can’t...”

  “Shh.” He placed a hand on the side of her face and nodded. “I know. Just take it easy. I’ll keep my distance for now and when they take you up to your room, I’ll swing home for a shower and some new clothes. You’ll need something clean for tomorrow, so I’ll drop by your place before, too. But I am coming back, Ally. If you want me here, I mean.”

  Another sob rolled in her chest and she bit her lips together for a moment before answering. “You don’t have to stay. And my mom said she’d bring a change of clothes. I still have some things at the farm, so that’s just less work for everyone.”

  “Ally...” He lifted her chin until she was looking him directly in the eyes. “I want to stay. It’s not work. You’re not work.” He shoved a hand through his hair, flustered. “There’s so much I want to say to you right now....” He locked his eyes on hers. “Ally, I lo—”

  “All right, sweetheart, Respiratory Therapy needs to check your blood gases again before we get you upstairs.” Deidre ducked inside the curtain again, but Ally didn’t look her way. She was too wrapped up in the look on Mark’s face. Open and sincere, yet vulnerable and terrified at the same time. Was he about to tell her he loved her? Her already galloping heart sped up in her chest and she sucked in deep breath.

  Deidre cleared her throat. “Maybe I should come back?”

  Mark shook his head. “No, it’s all right. Ally and I have all night to talk. What’s important right now is that she gets the care she needs.” He took her hand into his and gave a gentle squeeze.

  As much as she wanted to hear him say those words, he was right—the important thing right then was for her to tell Deidre about the tests still sitting in the bathroom at the coffee shop. She didn’t want Mark to find out this way, but maybe any anger he might feel about the situation would be kept in check with Deidre present. Maybe he’d have a chance to absorb the news a bit before they were alone and reality sank in.

  “Deidre, I’d like a blood test,” she blurted out before she could change her mind. Mark’s hand tightened around hers and she braced herself for a reaction that was probably going to hurt and possibly jeopardize her ever hearing him finish what he’d almost told her. “I think I’m, uh—”

  “Pregnant,” Mark said for her and she gasped. He nodded and squeezed her hand again while she floundered for words. How did he know? She hadn’t said anything earlier to indicate the possibility, had she? “It’s okay. We’ll talk about that later too,” he assured her quietly and she blinked. It was all she could do. Why wasn’t he freaking out?

  “Okay. When was your last period?” Deidre asked, digging a circle looking thing from a pocket in her scrub top.

  Ally blinked at Mark. She didn’t want to talk about her last period right now. She wanted to know how the heck he could possibly know and why he was sitting there as calmly as he was.

  “Ally?” Deidre prodded again. “Are you unsure?”

  “Um, no. I know. It’s just...it’s complicated,” she muttered. This was more than complicated—it was embarrassing. “I had one at the beginning of the month like normal, but if I am...pregnant”—wow, that was strange to say—“it couldn’t have happened this month.” And there was only one time it could have happened last month. Mark knew it as well as she did.

  “Hmm.” Deidre frowned and tucked the wheel back into her pocket. “What makes you think you’re pregnant then?”

  Mark leaned forward and grabbed her purse. “These.” He pulled out two wands and Ally closed her eyes. God. “Nick found your purse at the scene and gave it to Parker to bring here. I dropped it in the waiting room.” He looked guilty, but not horribly so. In fact, he was just so...relaxed. How was that possible? They’d never discussed kids. Hell, they’d barely discussed having a committed relationship.

  “They weren’t in my purse—they were in the bathroom,” she explained, because it was easier to sort out the facts, rather than dwell on the uncertainties in her life right now.

  Mark shrugged. “Nick or one of the guys must’ve found them.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Because word getting around town that she was pregnant was totally cool. Nothing to freak out about at all.

  “I’ll find out who grabbed them and remind him of the confidentiality oath he’s bound to.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “It’ll be okay, babe. I promise
.”

  “I’ll have the doctor order some labs and we’ll go from there,” Deidre said. “Right now, RT is impatiently waiting outside for your next treatment and check.”

  Mark let go of her hand to give the therapist the space he needed, and Ally immediately missed his touch. The smile he gave her told her he noticed...and liked it.

  They were probably having a baby and he stood there smiling. Like he didn’t mind at all. Like this didn’t change everything for them.

  “Since you’re in good hands, I’m gonna run home quick and get changed. I’ll grab that stuff for you,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Keys?”

  “You don’t have to...”

  “I want to. Let me, Ally. Please.”

  Goose bumps washed over her bare skin because with those two simple words—Let me—Ally heard so much more.

  “In my purse,” she murmured. “Thank you.”

  He kissed her again, this time on the lips, soft and sure. “Thank you.”

  ***

  Before he went home, Mark called Reed to meet him at the coffee shop so he could get Ally’s car out of the parking lot. Gladys and her husband were outside talking with Nick when they arrived. Probably talking about the damage and cause of the fire.

  Ally hadn’t asked yet, but when she settled down later, she was going to ask. Unfortunately, he’d have to break the news about the oven, which according to Nick, looked like it had shorted out while in use. There’d be more investigation once things cooled down to determine if the fire had happened because of the oven had gotten too hot or if it was a separate electrical issue.

  No one was clear on why Ally hadn’t been in the kitchen or why she hadn’t heard the fire alarm going off, but it was clearly an accident and Gladys was more worried about Ally than the damage to her coffee shop. Aside from smoke damage and some repair work in the kitchen, Nick assured her all would be well, in given time.