Blake has not come near me for ages, although I have felt him watching me from time to time. I did try talking to him but he just mumbled a few words and made excuses to move away. If he refuses to talk to me then why is he bothered with what I’m doing? It just doesn’t make sense! And besides that, I’ve seen him on several occasions over the last few weeks, hanging out with a really pretty girl in our grade. I’m not sure what’s actually going on between them but they appear to be very friendly. I even caught him brushing hair out of her eyes the other day.
That was why I was glad to have noticed Ky. It’s the distraction that I badly needed; something to take my mind off Blake and all the other dramas going on in my life.
Meanwhile, I’ve tried to keep my parents’ separation a secret from my friends. I asked Matt not to tell anyone at school but he said that they’d find out anyway, so we may as well be the ones to share the news.
“Great!” I thought. “Want to hear some gossip, guys? You don’t need the soap operas on television; my home life is so much more interesting than any of those shows you’re all so hooked on!”
At first I thought it would be really embarrassing for everyone to know that my parents had split up; especially the circumstances! I mean who wants their mother’s affair to become public knowledge at school?
I was horrified at the thought of people finding out and could just imagine their reactions. But in the end, I decided to take my brother’s advice. Reluctantly, I shared the latest gossip, the latest news. And of course, out of everyone, Lisa was the one who probed for all the details. She was completely fascinated. But all in all, everyone was genuinely sympathetic and they still keep asking after me to check if I’m okay. I’ve really appreciated that. It means a lot to know that they do genuinely care.
Naturally, somewhere along the grapevine, Sara also found out. And she made sure I was fully aware that she knew.
“Oh, my gosh, Julia, I heard about your parents,” she approached me from behind but I would recognize her voice anywhere. “Is it true that your mother has moved out with some guy she was having an affair with?”
The fake sympathy dripping from her tone irritated me more than anything. Then she continued on, the sarcasm thick in her voice.
“Poor Julia! Are you okay, sweetie? Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
I couldn’t believe her condescending manner. She really is unbelievable! I was fuming inside and it took all my self-control not to lash out at her. Right then, I hated her more than ever! I reminded myself to be grateful though, as until that point, I’d hardly even seen her around. Perhaps she had finally managed to get over her need for revenge or whatever it was she was trying to inflict on me. However, I had a sneaking suspicion that she would always hold a grudge and reminded myself to stay on alert.
I turned to look at her once more after she had passed me by, her long blonde hair flowing down the length of her back. The way she strutted haughtily past, her entire demeanor dripping with confidence and self-obsession, just filled me with loathing.
As I stood and watched her walk away, I realized that something was amiss. At first I couldn’t place it, but after a few moments, I knew.
Although she was wearing a familiar red skirt, one that I distinctly remembered seeing on her previously, as it was one that I myself also owned, I could see that it was hanging quite loosely around her hips and thighs. In fact, it appeared so loose that I noticed she’d had to hitch it up with a belt. I was aware that Sara always wore her skirts tightly fitted, which was why this detail stood out. In fact, I didn’t recall ever seeing her wear any loose style garments, not ever.
I wondered briefly if she’d been dieting. That would have been totally unnecessary though as she had a perfect body and there was certainly no need for her to lose weight. I was curious as to what had caused such noticeable weight loss but then decided that she must have been ill, which would explain her recent absence from school.
Then I spotted Ky, making his way through the carpark and all thoughts of Sara disappeared from my mind. He was older than most of us and already had his drivers’ licence as well as his own car. It was the coolest thing ever! When the bus pulled up, I hurried down the aisle looking for an empty window seat, so I could watch him reverse out and drive away.
‘I wonder where he lives?’ the thought crossed my mind as the bus pulled out onto the main road. ‘I’m going to have to find a chance to talk to him.’
And as I sat picturing his smiling face, trying to plot ways to coincidentally grasp his attention, I had no idea that the opportunity would arise in the least expected manner and much sooner than I ever anticipated.
Surprises…
Later that evening, I started up my laptop, aiming to finish the English homework that Miss Bromley had set for us. Unlike the homework that was given for other subjects, no one dared to turn up at school without their English completed.
Within minutes of my computer starting up though, I’d been unable to resist the temptation of Facebook and had quickly logged on. Since my mother had left, I pretty much had a free reign and no longer needed to go sneaking around behind her back. This unfamiliar freedom had allowed me to have open access to all the social media sites, just like most normal teenagers around the world. And in no time whatsoever, I’d become completely addicted.
After learning how to block unwanted people from my account, I felt safe in the knowledge that my mother couldn’t stalk my page and find out what I was up to. Not that I really cared what she thought, but it was my private place and I did not want her knowing my business. As well, I’d heard stories from others about the embarrassing comments and posts their parents were constantly adding and that was something I wanted to avoid at all costs. Luckily for me, my dad barely had a clue about Facebook and in actual fact his computer skills were almost non-existent, so I didn’t have any concerns there.
It was when I checked my messages that night though, that I found an unexpected surprise. After hours of searching the night before, in an attempt to find Millie, I had not been able to track her down at all. And because none of the girls I hung out with at school were friends with her on Facebook, they could not help me locate her. I had begun to suspect that she may not even have a Facebook account anymore, when by a stroke of luck, I happened to stumble across her page. In typical Millie style, she had listed herself using her first and middle names, so it was little wonder that I hadn’t been able to find her. But when her profile picture popped up, I’d instantly recognized the image of the friend I had never been able to replace.
It seems pretty silly now, but I had actually hesitated before pressing Enter after typing a super long message trying to apologize for being so slack; I’d also let her know that I was back in Carindale, waiting impatiently for her to return.
Her response had almost jumped out at me through the computer screen when I read it. And I could easily hear the excitement in her voice as I quickly scanned her words.
“JULIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! OMG!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE BACK IN CARINDALE!!
I’VE MISSED YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!”
Her use of caps lock for each letter caused an ecstatic smile to appear on my face. After reading her message, I was instantly overcome with emotion and began to laugh and cry at the same time.
Realizing that she was actually online right at that moment, I quickly replied and then our messages flowed effortlessly back and forth. But I was so happy to hear from her that I could barely type.
Pausing for her next reply, I glanced nostalgically at the photo frame that still sat on my bookshelf, the one with Millie and I, arms wrapped around each other, looking the happiest we had ever been. The wonderful memories of our middle school days together abruptly came pouring back and I was hit with excited anticipation at the thought of her return. Before signing off, she reminded me that they would arrive home in three weeks’ time. It was so soon and I could hardly wait fo
r that day to come.
After later reading her responses through once again, I felt convinced that everything would be okay between us. She was clearly as excited as me at the prospect of seeing one another after such a long time and I felt both relieved and overjoyed at the same time.
Unable to focus on homework then, especially boring English homework, I ignored the books that lay spread across my desk and started looking through Millie’s personal page. She had so many wonderful photos and posts that she had shared and uploaded whilst on her trip and it certainly looked like her family had been having an amazing time. When I came across a fabulous family photo with each of them standing side by side, their smiles an obvious indication of how happy they all were, I felt a twinge of envy. My family had once been that way and we had often discussed the idea of family holidays and trips abroad. But there never seemed to be enough money for luxuries such as those and now it appeared that we’d never have the opportunity again.
Holding back the tears that threatened to burst forth, I glanced once again at the books lying haphazardly on my desk and with a deep sigh, edged myself off the bed where I had been sitting.
Then, just as I reached across to shut down my computer, I happened to notice that a new friend request had appeared. Curiously, I clicked the icon to see who the person might be. Earlier, I’d had a couple of random requests from guys I did not know, and after checking their pages, I discovered photos of Joe, the creep who had attacked me when I’d foolishly accepted a lift after the party a few weeks earlier.
Looking through their pages and the few posts I was able to view, it became immediately clear they were all friends and probably went to the same school. But what bothered me most was their sudden interest in someone they had never even met. I thought I had put that horrifying incident behind me, locked it in a hidden compartment of my memory banks, never to be visited again. But thinking of it then, created an instant picture in my mind of the face of that creep and my miraculous escape.
Lisa’s words then came rushing back and I vividly remembered her warning about the rumors that had started to spread soon after the party had ended. I sincerely hoped it was sheer coincidence that these guys had found me on Facebook and prayed it had nothing to do with their friendship with Joe or the mention of any rumors they may have heard. I immediately deleted the requests and hoped that would be the last I’d hear or see of that group of boys. I never wanted to have anything to do with Joe or his friends ever again.
But the icon displaying a completely new friend request stared back at me from the screen, and I wondered apprehensively, who on earth it could be from.
Tentatively, I placed my fingers over the keyboard and clicked. The gasp that followed was one of surprise, or possibly even shock. I wasn’t sure how to describe my reaction, but the request I saw in front of me, was certainly not one I had ever expected!
Confusion…
Lit up on my computer screen was a profile picture and the Confirm or Delete button.
“OMG! I can’t believe this!” The words escaped my lips and I jumped back on my bed, my computer in my lap and my fingers hovering over the keyboard.
“OMG!” I breathed again; sheer disbelief working its way through my senses; along with a nervous, anxious, unsure excitement.
“This is freaky! Do I accept or not?” Sitting there staring at the screen, I spoke the words aloud; even though, there was no one else in the room.
I continued to look at the profile image staring back at me and then took note of an insistent voice inside my head.
“Yes, of course you should accept! You stupid girl, why wouldn’t you??!!”
Giggling nervously, I clicked the button and waited. I have no idea why I waited but I couldn’t move. It was as though I had done something forbidden; something risky that was going to lead to all sorts of trouble, although I had no idea why or what.
But deep down, deep in my gut, I knew.
Ky Samford had this bad boy image. It was the kind that almost takes your breath away, one that creates instant butterflies in the depths of your stomach, the minute your eyes connect with his.
That’s what happened earlier that day when I saw him in the school car park and he turned and glanced my way. It was quite strange the way it happened, almost as if a silent voice had called his name and for one brief second, our eyes had met. It was just for a fleeting moment, but I had definitely sensed some sort of connection. At the time, I thought it was possible that I’d imagined it but that would not explain the abrupt spark which seemed to fill my senses. I could not explain it, but it had definitely been there.
Why I had never noticed him before was beyond me. Although, I guess I had been so wrapped up in thoughts of Blake, and in all my problems; so deeply entrenched in my own little shell of misery that I hadn’t even realized he existed.
But now that I was aware of him, he was pretty much all I’d been able to think about. He was the real reason I’d been ignoring my homework. And just then, almost as though I’d been expecting it, I heard the sound I’d been waiting for. That little blip noise, the one you hear when a message pops up on your screen.
“Hi”
One single word, one single syllable, but it said so much more. And nervously, anxiously, I replied.
“Hi”
My stomach was doing somersaults as I sat there, tense and excited. And then, that wonderful noise sounded again; that little blip sound I had been urgently hoping would continue.
I felt the smile spreading across my face as I read the next message.
“You have nice eyes”
“OMG!” I could not help but laugh to myself. It was crazy. I couldn’t believe he had said that. In fact, I didn’t think I knew anyone who spoke that way, certainly not any of the boys I knew, Blake included.
I could just imagine the girls at school, Lisa in particular, rolling her eyes.
“He’s weird, Julia,” I could hear her voice clearly inside my head.
I knew without doubt that he would not be her type. He was too aloof, too unusual to appeal to Lisa. She liked the buff football types, the ones who had muscles bulging on muscles. They were the ones that she constantly drooled over.
But there was something very different about Ky, something that definitely appealed to me. And I could feel the tingling of excitement, the butterflies flitting around in my stomach and they would not be still.
It was the same sensation I’d always felt with Blake in the past, whenever I was near him, whenever I looked into his eyes. Guiltily I thought of him then and recalled the instant pleasure that was created by the mere touch of his hand on my arm.
But he and I were over now. At least it seemed that way. And besides, it appeared that he had moved on. I thought fleetingly of Monica, the pretty girl at school who he’d been spending so much time with lately. Abruptly, I was hit with a strong pang of jealousy as an image of the two of them, so familiar in each other’s company, flashed through my mind.
And then, distraught with frustration and resentment, I stared at the computer screen once again.
Without giving it another moment’s thought, I entered one word before logging off.
“Thanks”
That was all I could manage to say and I didn’t dare wait for a response. It was all too much and my stomach churned with the anxiety of the moment. Then I remembered something that put me completely out of sorts. Science, the one class that Ky and I shared, happened to be scheduled for first period the following morning. Nervously, I contemplated the thought of seeing him in the morning.
But maybe I was making something out of nothing. Perhaps he just wanted to say hello and I was imagining a romance that was never going to happen. Was I was simply hoping for a replacement for the love of my life, the one whose presence continued to haunt me?
Reflecting further on my motivation for pursing something new, I wondered if I really was only seeking a distraction to take the place of Blake, the only boy I had ever truly loved.<
br />
If that were the case though, I could not understand why Ky was having such an intense effect on me. I barely knew the guy. Except for a very brief hello on Facebook, I had never even spoken to him.
Sighing deeply, I glanced at my desk and stared at the English assignment that lay beckoning me to begin. I knew there was no way, I’d be able to focus on it then; there had literally been way too many distractions, the latest one in particular, the most intense one of all.
Then the thought of Miss Bromley’s screeching voice and the promise of her detention class for any students with incomplete homework was the motivation I needed. Taking another deep breath, I picked up a pen and started writing.
Concerned…
Nervously, I made my way into the science lab. None of my close friends shared the class with me and I usually sat at any random seat that might be available. Not daring to look around, I quickly made my way towards the back. Then, breathing a sigh of relief to have found an unoccupied seat in the second last row, I opened my bag and pulled out my Science book.
With my head down, I completed the tasks in the text, desperately trying to resist the temptation to look around behind me. I was aware that Ky was not in any of the seats within view, so if he was actually in the room, he must be in one of the seats at the very back.
My stomach was a mess of nerves and as I scribbled notes from the board onto the blank page of my book, I decided to risk a quick glance. But just as I turned my head, I spotted him, sitting in the rear corner, and instantly, he looked up and stared my way.
“OMG! OMG!” I breathed the words under my breath as I whipped back around towards the front of the room. I couldn’t believe that he’d caught me. That was just so embarrassing!
Queasy with anxiety I attempted, with little success, to focus on the teacher’s voice. Then, without warning, I heard my name being called.
Julia Jones - The Teenage Years: Boxed Set - Books 2, 3 and 4 Page 5