Summer's Dark Waters

by Simon Williams

  “I’ll find him,” he said. “Remember what I said. Everything will be okay.”

  But Amber was old enough to know better and she didn’t believe a word of it. As soon as her dad had left, she ran upstairs almost blind from the tears in her eyes, slammed her bedroom door shut and lay on her bed to curl up and cry.

  What had happened to Joe? All sorts of horrible possibilities went through her mind. Please let him be all right, she said to herself over and over.

  A while passed by. She got up and looked out of her window, and saw that it was now totally dark. How can he possibly find him? Amber asked herself, and for a moment she considered just ringing the police herself. Her dad’s reaction to all this didn’t make any sense.

  Amber turned away from the window. She couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to anyway, but she still buried her face in her pillow and tried to pretend that this was all just a nightmare, that it was all too crazy and messed up to be real.

  Eventually she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing downstairs and a brief conversation between her dad and Emma. She sprang up from the bed and listened at the door, her heart pounding.

  “It can’t be time yet,” she heard Emma say. “I know he hasn’t been sleeping properly, but apart from that...”

  “We should have been watching more closely for the signs,” Amber’s dad replied. “It might be happening earlier than we thought.”

  “He’s fine,” Emma said, but Amber could hear a tremble in her voice, as if she might be about to start crying. It didn’t sound like Joe was fine.

  “I’ll tell Amber. Goodnight,” she heard her dad say as he began walking up the stairs, and Amber’s stomach felt like it had turned upside-down. Tell her what? It sounded as if they found Joe, but what had happened to him?

  Please, please, please, she thought, closing her eyes tightly as his footsteps came closer and closer.

  Her dad knocked on the door and called softly, “Amber? Are you awake? Can I come in?”

  “Yes,” she managed to say. Her throat felt completely dry. Of course I’m awake!

  He opened the door and walked in. He was already smiling when she opened her eyes, and Amber felt such a wave of relief wash over her that she started crying again. “Joe’s okay,” her dad said. He sat next to her and gave her a hug. “We found him. He’ll be fine.”

  Amber wiped her eyes. “So what happened to him? I heard you and Emma talking downstairs just now.”

  “Well,” her dad said, “we spotted him sitting by the lake shore. He’d been in the water.”

  Amber frowned in confusion. “Well, how come I didn’t see him? I looked for him, I saw his clothes and I went up and down the shore, I couldn’t see anyone in the water!”

  “Well, maybe you just didn’t spot him.” His smile disappeared, replaced by a disapproving frown. “It seems that Joe decided it was safe to go swimming in that lake. It isn’t safe, Amber.”

  “I know it isn’t,” she said quickly. “I remember you told me. I’d never do something like that.”

  “He is one very lucky boy,” her dad continued, shaking his head. “I’m sure Emma must have warned him about it.” He looked as if he was about to say something else, but didn’t.

  “What were you talking about with Emma just now?” she asked suddenly. “I heard you saying something might be happening earlier than you thought.”

  “Joe hasn’t been sleeping well,” he said. “That’s all.”

  That might be true, Amber thought, but I don’t think you’re telling me the whole truth.

  She sat silently for a moment, taking deep breaths. She could feel her mood changing already, partly because of the sheer relief of knowing that Joe was okay. The last few hours had been probably the most terrible of her life; she had thought that maybe, just maybe, she had seen her best friend for the very last time, and that something- or someone- had taken him away forever.

  But instead, all this worry had been caused because Joe had decided to go swimming in a dangerous lake. And he had known how dangerous it was- they’d been told about it at school for one thing, and they’d discussed it a few times with each other.

  “He’s got no excuse,” she said angrily.

  “Maybe you can tell him when you see him next time. It’s Saturday tomorrow, so maybe you should go round and see him.” Her dad kissed her goodnight and left, closing the door behind him.

  Amber sat up for a while before finally lying down and turning off her bedside lamp. I don’t know what I’ll say to Joe when I see him, she thought, watching familiar shapes appear in her room as her eyes got used to the darkness.

  Because right now I’m so angry I think I’d just slap him.

  Chapter 3

  Joe woke up suddenly around noon the following day with a dream about the lake still fresh in his mind. He had been running along the shoreline, but as he ran the water began to recede. The faster he ran the more the water level of the lake went down until it dried up completely, revealing all sorts of junk that had been lying at the bottom of the lake for years. He had stopped running and turned to notice something in the middle of the lake where the water had been deepest. That shouldn’t be there, he remembered thinking to himself, but he couldn’t quite make out what it was. Just as he was about to step across the soft, muddy surface where the lake had been, he woke up.

  I can remember more about the dream than I can about actually being at the lake, he thought as he sat up. That made him feel uneasy.

  His Aunt Emma called him down for lunch a little later. She told him once again about the dangers of swimming in the lake- “Or anywhere except the swimming pool,” she added- he listened, he apologised and he promised that he wouldn’t do it again. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes when he said that, but she seemed satisfied enough with what he said- either that or something else had popped into her thoughts to distract her, which was not at all unusual.

  But she’s still worried, Joe thought a little later as he went back up to his room. I’ve never done anything like this before so maybe she doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so worried. And the worst thing is, I made a promise that I don’t think I can keep. I couldn’t even look at her properly when I said it.

  When Amber came round later that afternoon and opened his bedroom door, Joe was sitting on a chair near to the window, looking out across the rooftops and towards the park. Towards the lake, she found herself thinking, and the thought made her feel uneasy.

  “Hello,” she said after a while, feeling that she had to say something. It was obvious by now that Joe wasn’t going to start a conversation with her. In fact, she couldn’t be certain that he had actually heard her come in.

  “Hey Amber,” he said quietly without bothering to turn round.

  She stood there for a moment longer, getting angry again. Somehow it was as if he was making her feel stupid and look stupid, standing in his doorway while he pretty much ignored her.

  Amber closed the door behind her- she had wanted to slam it but resisted the temptation, and anyway this wasn’t her house- and said quietly, “I can’t believe you were such an idiot!”

  Joe said nothing.

  “I thought something terrible had happened to you, Joe!” Amber shouted, losing her patience completely. “And if I hadn’t told my dad, maybe something would have happened! I had to go home and sit in my room not knowing if you were even alive!”

  “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

  “You’re sorry? Is that all you can say? I want to know why you did it. I mean, I saw your clothes, and I...” Amber stopped suddenly; she could see that Joe was shaking slightly and he had bowed his head a little. Is he laughing? she wondered suddenly, scarcely able to believe it. Is he laughing at me?

  Then she realised that he wasn’t laughing at all; he was crying. She had never seen him cry before, and was quite taken aback.

  She went over and sat on the bed next to Joe. He still didn’t look at h
er; he was looking outside and far away. “Joe,” she said softly, and put her arm around him. “What really happened? Was there anyone else there?”

  He looked at her suddenly. “What do you mean?”

  She blinked. “I mean, was there someone else there? Were you... I don’t know... attacked?”

  “There was no one else there,” he said, “and I don’t know why I did any of it. I can’t remember anything from when I went into the woods until when I was sitting by the edge of the lake after swimming in it. I don’t even remember that properly. It just feels like some strange nightmare, and to make it even more confusing I dreamed about the lake last night as well.”

  “You don’t remember? Why not? Did you fall over and hit your head or something?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Aunt Emma checked me over and said I seemed to be fine.”

  “What? She didn’t even get a doctor to check you out? I would have thought she’d at least do that.”

  Joe turned to look at her properly for the first time. Amber felt her heart lurch as she saw the misery in his eyes. “I’m really sorry for worrying you so much. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

  He looked away across the park again, as the warm summer breeze rustled the curtains. After a moment he added, “Aunt Emma doesn’t seem to know what I was doing either, but she still asked me if I learned my lesson. But I don’t know what the lesson is supposed to be. I think she said it because she didn’t know what else to say.”

  She’s not the only one, Amber thought. “I don’t know- maybe don’t go jumping into the lake again or something like that,” she said finally, hoping that she didn’t sound too sarcastic. “But you made it sound as if you couldn’t help yourself. That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “No,” he agreed sadly. “It doesn’t.”

  After a short while Joe spoke up again. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Sometimes my thoughts just drift away and I feel like I’ll end up going back there.”

  Amber shook her head. “Don’t do that, Joe. If you do, you’ll probably be grounded until you’re sixteen or something. Anyway, what would happen if you were swimming and you got into difficulty, caught your leg on something, or...” She shook her head, frustrated. “Why do I need to tell you all this? You know how dangerous that lake is!”

  “If it happens again, I’ll call you and you can come with me,” he said.

  She stared at him as if he had gone mad. “What do you mean, if it happens again? It doesn’t need to happen again. Are you trying to say that something made you go to the lake... and even go into the lake?”

  When he didn’t reply but just looked at her, Amber drew in breath sharply and nodded to herself, realising that she had at last got to the truth of the matter. Or what Joe thinks is the truth, anyway, she reminded herself.

  Amber felt quite helpless. She had no idea what to do. She didn’t know much about mental illness apart from what she had seen and heard about every now and then on the news, but she was worried that Joe had some sort of problem like that- a problem that couldn’t be easily solved. It was obvious that Joe had something wrong with him, and she struggled to understand how and why it had happened.

  Why would it suddenly happen to him? she wondered. And what happens if he goes back to the lake and swims in the lake again? What if he gets caught going swimming? What if he tries to tell his aunt or the teachers at school that he felt forced to go to the lake and that something had made him do it?

  Something that doesn’t really exist except in his head?

  Amber saw all sorts of bad things happening if he said anything like that; endless counselling, sessions with a child psychiatrist, and maybe even Joe moving away. She felt panic stir inside her at that last thought. I don’t want to lose him, she thought, suddenly determined. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had, even though he’s made me feel so angry and worried.

  So all I can do is make sure no one else finds out about what he’s going through.

  Amber knew that that wasn’t the right thing to do, but at the same time she felt that if she kept an eye on him, and maybe went with him to the lake- if he felt that he had to go there- then it would be all right.

  But what if it isn’t going to be all right? she thought then. What if he gets worse and things start getting more complicated?

  Then I’ll have to talk about it to everyone, she told herself. I’ll have to make sure he gets some help.

  “If anything like that happens or you think it might,” she said, “then you have to call me on my mobile straight away. Don’t call my house phone because my dad will probably get to it before me and answer. He works from home, remember.”

  His eyes widened in surprise as he stared at her. “Do you mean it? Do you promise?”

  “I promise if you promise to call me before you do anything like that.”

  “Of course I do!”

  “And I’ll come with you and try to look after you,” she told him.

  But Amber looked away briefly after she said that, feeling troubled. She had no idea if she could look after him at all.

  Chapter 4

  The following day was Sunday. Amber wandered restlessly around the house with her phone in her pocket, unable to settle down. “Why don’t you go outside and play?” her dad asked her at one point.

  She didn’t go out to play- that was one of the last things on her mind- but she went out into the back garden to sit in the shady part of the yard and think. Every now and then she took her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it as if she was expecting it to ring at any minute.

  What if he doesn’t ring me? she thought. What if he forgets or something makes him just go to the lake without telling me? What if he’s already at the lake and something’s happened to him?

  Amber was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when her phone actually rang, and she almost dropped it as she frantically pulled it out of her jeans pocket.

  It was Joe. She could barely hear him at first. For some reason his voice sounded distant, and there was some interference on her phone, as if the reception was really bad.

  “I’m going there,” he said. “I’m going to the lake.”

  Something about the way he spoke made her shudder. It’s almost as if he doesn’t even know what he’s saying, she thought.

  “I’m going to meet you there now,” she said, and hung up straight away. She dashed through the house, shouting “I’ll be back later” and dashed out.

  She ran up the road and then through the big open field that separated the town from the woods and the lake. She caught up with Joe just as he reached the edge of the woods.

  Amber grabbed at his arm. “Joe!” she exclaimed breathlessly. He stopped walking and then turned slowly to face her. But then she got a big shock. Just for a moment he looked as if he didn’t recognise her at all. “It’s me,” she said finally, seeing the look of puzzlement in his eyes.

  “Amber,” he said eventually, and she breathed a sigh of relief. But Joe turned to face towards the lake again, and if anything he started to walk a little faster, as if her stopping him had somehow made him late.

  As she walked alongside him, Amber wondered for a moment what might happen if she actually tried to stop him from reaching the lake shore. What if she somehow managed to pin him down until he gave up trying to reach it? Would that somehow cure him? Or would it just make him worse? She had no way of knowing without stopping him, and she was too scared to find out.

  She touched his shoulder gently to see how he would react. He stopped for a moment, and said quietly, “I have to go there. It can’t be stopped. Some things just happen and they’ll happen no matter what you do. Do you understand?”

  “I suppose,” she said doubtfully, wondering how it was that his words sounded so much like the words an adult would use.

  Amber followed him through the woods and as far as the lake shore. She had no idea what she would do if he tried to jump into the lake. Grab him and try to
stop him, she reckoned.

  But to her surprise and relief, he didn’t. He just sat down on the grassy bank, silent.

  Joe was aware of Amber sitting next to him. He felt vaguely comforted by her being there. She formed a connection to his normal life, stopping him from drifting into something terrible.

  But mostly his thoughts were far away.

  I think I know why I’ve been brought here now. Someone is trying to tell me something. Maybe it’s the same person I thought I saw- or sensed- in the classroom.

  If he listened for long enough, he could hear someone’s voice. He thought it might be the voice of a boy of his own age, but it was difficult to tell. He felt that he ought to understand the words that it spoke, and yet he couldn’t. The voice would sound clear for a short while and then become faint, but even when it was loud and clear he couldn’t make out the words properly. He was sure that the voice was speaking in English, but some kind of invisible barrier stopped him from comprehending what it was saying.

  Joe felt certain that the same voice that had made him come to the lake the other day and swim. He felt just as certain that that same voice had brought him here today to sit by the water’s edge and listen to it. And the more he thought about it, the more certain he became that the presence he had felt in the classroom- which was really where all this had started- also owned that same voice, although it had been silent that day, as if it hadn’t been able to reach him properly yet.

  As he sat and looked out over the still water and the reflections of the sky, the sunset and the trees, he could somehow sense the frustration in the boy’s voice.

  I don’t even know who you are, he thought. I don’t know who you are or what you want or why you brought me here. I can’t even understand what you’re saying.

  He didn’t know whether to tell Amber or not. He had already trusted her with a lot of things, but what would she think of him if he admitted to her that he was now starting to hear a voice in his head as well? He could tell that she was worried about him, and probably concerned about his state of mind. I know I’m not mad, he thought, but I also know it sounds as if I am. How much worse will it be if I tell her about the voice?