Bite Me

by Parker Blue

  I hadn’t even thought about that stuff, but I guessed it was important in the grown-up world. I glanced at Fang. What do you think?

  He looked thoughtful. DO THEY HIRE DOGS?

  I grinned. “Fang and I come as a package deal. He wants to know if you can put him on the payroll.”

  The lieutenant looked surprised, but took the question seriously. “I don’t think I can justify that, but I can provide you with identification that gives you special dispensation to take him anywhere you want, like a service dog or working police dog.”

  TAKE IT. YOU NEED THE MONEY TO FIND US DECENT DIGS . . . AND KEEP ME IN PIZZA.

  He was right. I needed a job of some kind, and my bout with Horowitz made me more confident I could keep Lola under wraps when necessary. Plus the fact that Ramirez knew what I was—and was okay with it—made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  He beamed at me. “Great. Want to start work tonight?”

  Now? He sure didn’t waste any time. He must really be desperate.

  OOH. FUN AND GAMES.

  Well, if Fang was up for it, why not? Otherwise, we’d just have to return to that pit of a hotel room. “Sure.”

  He came around and opened the door. Dan was sitting outside, a pink bakery box in his hands. “Good—you’re here. You ready to show your new partner the ropes?” he asked Dan.

  “Yes, sir.” Dan looked surprised but pleased, like he liked the idea of working with me. It made me feel kind of warm inside.

  “Excellent,” Ramirez said. “We need as many people as we can get and her skills will make her an excellent partner for you. Her dog will be a good asset, too. Make sure you take him with you.”

  I thanked the lieutenant and joined Dan in the hall. Ramirez wished us luck and sent us on our way.

  “Here,” Dan said awkwardly as we walked down the hall. “This is for you.” He handed me the pink box.

  “For me?” What was it? I opened it cautiously, not sure if this was some rookie razzing ceremony or what.

  Nope—it was a cake, with the words, “Happy birthday, Val” scrawled in pink across the chocolate frosting. It even had pink and yellow flowers on it. Geez—he must have run right out after the sparring and bought it.

  I stopped short. I hadn’t expected to get a birthday cake from anyone on this lousy day, let alone a total stranger. The words on the cake blurred as I went all misty-eyed.

  Crap. Why had he gone and done that? Now I was gonna cry in front of my new partner and he’d think I was a total girl.

  AWWWW, HOW SWEET. HE LIKES YOU—HE REALLY LIKES YOU.

  Fang’s sarcasm yanked me out of my pity party. I shot him a glare but was privately glad he’d helped me find a way to buck up. “Thank you, Dan. That’s very nice of you,” I said, careful not to gush or blubber all over him. Maybe he wouldn’t notice that my voice cracked, just a little.

  Dan shrugged. “I figure everyone deserves a cake on their birthday. Consider it a welcome to the unit.” We started walking again and he added, “Besides, the guys will love you forever if you share.”

  I grinned. “You got it.”

  Dan showed me to the break room and introduced me around to the guys who were just going on shift. They seemed surprised by my age and appearance, but when Dan told them how I’d kicked Hank’s butt and taken down a vamp on my own, they obviously decided to take a wait and see attitude. That was okay—I knew I’d have to earn their respect and I didn’t have a problem with that. At least Dan made sure I had the opportunity.

  It helped that I’d brought the cake and Fang—they were both big hits. As I left the break room, I felt suddenly a whole lot more optimistic about my future. I might have even found a place I could belong.

  Dan had me fill out some paperwork and got me a locker, then said, “Ready?”

  “Sure.”

  He led us outside to a huge, silver Dodge Ram with an extended cab and covered storage bed.

  “Whoa,” I said. “This is a step up from the unmarked car you had last night.”

  “Yeah, well, teams get them—they’re specially built. The doors and windows are lined with vampire-repelling silver and the bed cover comes in handy in case we stake any vamps.”

  Cool. That was a lot better than the trunk of Rick’s old car. And this must be where the department’s money went—into the fancy ambulances and other stuff necessary to keep the cops safe. I approved.

  I hopped in and Fang seemed to have springs in his legs as he easily made the jump to the running board then the seat.

  Dan got in the driver’s seat and glanced at Fang. “So why are you bringing the pooch along?”

  POOCH? Fang repeated incredulously. DID HE JUST CALL ME A POOCH?

  “This pooch helped me take down a vamp last night.”

  YEAH. TAKE THAT, DOUGHNUT BREATH.

  Dan smirked. “Oh, yeah? How? By holding the stake for you?”

  “No, by holding onto the vamp’s ’nads—with his teeth.”

  Dan winced.

  “Don’t worry. Fang knows you’re a friend. Don’t you?”

  YEAH, SURE. WHATEVER.

  But he wagged his tail at Dan just to reassure the guy.

  “So we’re doing on-the-job training then?”

  “Yeah, but first, let me make sure we’re on the same page. You probably know all this already, but just to make sure, let’s take a refresher.”

  As they sat in the truck, he lectured me about vampire speed, their ability to cloud minds, how to kill them, yadda, yadda, yadda.

  Finally, he broke off and said, “Are you even listening to me?”

  Bored, I said, “Yeah, I get it. You shove something pointy in their hearts, drag them into the sunlight, or cut off their heads . . . if you just happen to have a sword handy. I know this already.”

  SMALL CHILDREN KNOW THIS, Fang thought contemptuously.

  “Okay, fine. You don’t want to listen, let’s go.”

  As he started the truck, I asked, “How do you decide where to go?”

  He shrugged. “We sometimes get details about names, appearance, favorite hang-outs, that sort of thing. If there are no details, we go looking for them in the areas where they tend to congregate. If they’re law-abiding, we leave them alone. If they attack us or someone else, they’re fair game.”

  “How do you get this information?”

  “From Ramirez.”

  “Where does he get it?”

  Dan gave me a surprised look. “Good question. I don’t know, though I’ve wondered, too. I figure he has an informant—someone inside this vein of vampires we’re supposed to find.”

  Made sense. “Do you have a target in mind?”

  “Yeah.” He pulled out his notebook and flipped through it. “I’ve been keeping track of the hot spots, places where the SCU has found victims but no perp yet.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “There’s a place on the west side that’s seen some activity . . . .”

  As he drove, he resumed the vampire quiz. “So, how do vampires feel about silver?”

  Remembering how nice he’d been to get me a cake, I played along. “It burns like hell when it touches their skin.”

  “How about garlic?”

  “A tasty food seasoning, if you don’t mind the odor.”

  He grinned. “Crosses?”

  “If you believe, they can help.”

  “Holy water?”

  “Like acid.” Providing the priest believed, of course.

  “Mirrors?”

  “Reflect vampires just like everyone else. Though it’s painful for them to look into the old ones with silver backing.”

  “How about the invitation thing?”

  “That’s true—they can’t enter a place unless they’ve been invited. Of course, they can enter public places, which are an open invitation to anyone.”

  “Can they make themselves invisible? Change into bats? Fly?”

  I shook my head. “All myths. But w
hat they can do is cloud your mind, make you think they can do all that. That’s where most people get caught. They can make you freeze in place until they drain you dry.”

  He made a noncommittal noise. “So, how many have you staked?”

  I didn’t know—I never counted. “Uh, maybe thirty or so.” Probably more, but that would sound like bragging. “How about you?”

  “Two,” he admitted.

  All of two? Oh, great. Who was the real rookie here? And he’d lost his partner recently, too. Whose fault was that? Sourly, I asked, “So, do I pass?”

  “You pass.”

  Gee, don’t do me any favors.

  He pulled over, parking the truck in the shadows of a seedy area on the west side. The outskirts of San Antonio, consisting primarily of military bases and newer housing developments, weren’t nearly as picturesque as the older, historic center. And here, on the crime-ridden west side, the area was mostly industrial with a few office buildings establishing a tentative toehold on the blight. It didn’t look as bad in the daytime, but with several street lights burned out or shot out, it looked sinister on this dark night. And it wasn’t safe for normal folks at any time of the day.

  “This the place?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Someone’s been killing people in this five-block area.

  “Okay, what’s the plan?”

  “How would you feel about serving as bait?”

  Fang’s mouth dropped open in a grin. HERE, FISHIE, FISHIE.

  It made sense—especially since I seemed to have more experience here. And of the two of us, I looked more harmless. “Sure, I’ll play bait.”

  “Are you armed?”

  “Why do think I wear vests? They hide the stakes I keep in a special holster in my back waistband.” I took one out and showed it to him. “Just in case.”

  He hefted it. “Nice. But maybe I should—”

  Exasperated, I interrupted him. “Look, you know I can handle myself. If I get in trouble, then you can ride to the rescue. For now, just stay here and . . . watch the dog.”

  WATCH THE DOG? HEY, I’M YOUR PARTNER.

  Yeah, but a vampire is less likely to think I’m helpless if I have you with me. Then I wouldn’t be good bait, would I?

  Fang conceded the point, but Dan just gave me a long, level look. “That kind of attitude could get you killed.”

  My face warmed. My mouth always got me into trouble. “Sorry. I’m just not used to working with a partner.”

  He nodded. “Don’t worry. I have your back.”

  Feeling a little chastised, I got out of the truck and walked off, leaving Dan and Fang alone together.

  As I walked swiftly away from the truck, I tried to change my demeanor. No more confident kick-butt vampire hunter. Instead, I hunched my shoulders, let my eyes dart about with wary glances, and checked my watch every couple of minutes as if waiting for someone who was very late. The perfect victim.

  I lingered for about half an hour, but nothing happened. As I checked my watch for the hundredth time, I heard Fang yell VAL! from the truck, then he barked for good measure.

  I whirled around to see Dan standing outside the truck and an overweight middle-aged blonde regarding him like a midnight snack. Despite the chilly weather, she wore nothing but black leather pants and a tight, laced leather vest that made the pale flesh of her breasts bulge out the sides and top and emphasized the muffin top on her stomach. Gross. Was the smashed cleavage, overstuffed sausage look in these days?

  But I didn’t want to overreact, in case she wasn’t a vamp. She hadn’t tried to enthrall me, so I wasn’t sure yet. She might just be a skank on the prowl.

  She leered at him, showing long pointed incisors. “Hello, handsome.” Beckoning with one pudgy finger, she said, “Come to Charlene.”

  With the speed of a rattlesnake, she darted forward and sank her fangs into his neck. Then, grabbing his butt with both hands, she ground her hips against him and sucked.

  Not just a skank. The demon lust surged within me and I rushed toward them, but Fang leapt out of the cab and got there first. He clamped on to her heel, evidently trying to hamstring her.

  She released Dan to shriek and bat at Fang. “Pick on someone your own size,” I said and punched Charlene in the face. Not that I was anywhere near her size, thank heavens.

  That got her attention.

  “You stupid bitch.” Charlene rushed me, her claws extended to scratch my face or gouge out my eyes, I wasn’t sure which.

  I’d never fought a vamp who fought like a girl before—she kicked and screamed and pulled my hair. I held my own, but I couldn’t quite reach my stakes—I was too busy holding her claws away from my face.

  Fang darted in and out, doing damage where he could. Dan was no help—he seemed too dazed to comprehend what was going on. Holding Charlene’s wrists away from my face, I yelled, “Stake her!”

  That woke him up. He yanked a stake out of his jacket and buried it in Charlene’s back, aiming for the heart.

  Unfortunately, the stake went in at an angle and didn’t reach its destination through all the fat. Where was a sledgehammer when you needed one?

  Charlene screeched and tried to reach around to her back to pull it out. That gave me the perfect opening. I whipped out my weapon and stabbed the vamp right in her black heart. Charlene dropped and lay motionless. As I rose slowly to my feet, I concentrated on putting Lola back in her prison. With Charlene vanquished, it was fairly easy.

  Dan stood over the vamp, holding his hand to his neck and looking a little stunned.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I—I’ve never been bitten before. I don’t know anyone who did and survived.” He lifted his hand away from his neck to reveal two neat punctures on his neck and blood on his hand. He was clearly wondering if he was going to turn into a vampire now.

  “Don’t worry, you won’t turn out like her.” I paused to consider. “Well, not unless you shrink six inches, gain fifty pounds, have a sex change operation, and lose all fashion sense.”

  A spark flickered in his eyes—annoyance. I shrugged. “But you won’t become a vampire unless you drink her blood, too.” I glanced down at the corpse in black leather. “You could try it if you want, but I don’t know if it’ll work now that she’s dead.”

  “I’ll pass.”

  Good—he was handling it just fine. I saw him fidget with the crotch of his pants, looking uncomfortable. Guessing the source of his discomfort, I said, “Now you know why so many people find the vampire embrace so irresistible.” Some of them enthralled their victims so they felt nothing but unbridled lust. Apparently, Charlene was one of them.

  “That was mind control? She made me feel that way?”

  It was obvious he already knew the answer and just wanted reassurance. “Yeah. I take it she wasn’t exactly your type?”

  “Not hardly. My God, that . . . that’s rape.”

  If he felt that way about the vampire, imagine how he would feel about a succubus . . . . I made a noncommittal noise.

  He looked thoughtful. “They don’t do that to all their victims, though.”

  “Not all. Actually, you were lucky that she wanted you to feel desire. Some like to feed on the fear as well as the blood. Some . . . just like to kill.”

  He glanced down at the dead vamp, as if trying to figure out if he felt lucky or not. His mouth hardened. “We need to make sure the rest of the unit knows about this.”

  GO AHEAD, KICK HER, Fang thought at an oblivious Dan. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

  My partner still seemed a little out of it, probably some lingering effect from Charlene’s mind control. To goad him back to normal, I said, “You wouldn’t have had to go through it at all if you’d stayed in the truck.”

  His head came up and I saw anger in his eyes. Good—he’d snapped back.

  “We wouldn’t have caught her otherwise,” he said. “You weren’t exactly her type. Besides, Fang and I were bored.” He glanced down at the dog. “Thanks, pal.
”

  The dog deserved thanks—without Fang’s warning, I might not have known Dan was in trouble until it was too late.

  Fang stared up at Dan with his tongue lolling out, looking like a normal dog. YOU OWE ME BIG TIME, PAL.

  I stifled an urge to laugh. Fang and I had a lot in common—both part demon, both trying to pass as something else. We were doing a good job of it, too, but it was a hell of a way to live. “So, what’s next? Pack her in the back of the truck or call the ambulance pick-up unit?”

  “The pick-up unit is for when we’re on our own . . . or have to rush off somewhere else. Normally, we toss them in the back.”

  He drove the truck up next to the vamp, and we both wrestled her into the back, then joined Fang in the front. Dan pulled out a baby wipe and cleaned his neck, staring at the blood on it for a moment.

  “Vampires are disease-resistant,” I said casually. “You shouldn’t need a disinfectant but you might like a bandage. Do you have a first aid kit handy?”

  “Yeah, there’s one in the back, but I’ll take care of it later,” Dan said.

  He went silent, so I tried to divert his attention from what he’d just been through. “Hey, do you know someplace I can rent, cheap? Fang isn’t crazy about the roach motel I picked out for tonight.”

  I was just trying to distract Dan, but he took the question seriously. “Well, as a matter of fact, my sister Gwen is looking for a roommate.”

  His sister? That sounded just a bit too cozy. “Uh, I hadn’t planned on rooming with anyone—what with the crazy night hours I keep and uh, Fang . . . he . . . he sheds all over everything.”

  WELL, EXCUUUUUSE ME, Fang said indignantly. I TOLD YOU I COULDN’T HELP THAT,

  Relax—I’m just using you as an excuse.

  “No biggie,” Dan said. “Gwen’s a nurse at the hospital so she has crazy night hours, too. And she loves dogs. She won’t mind a little hair.”

  HA. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR USING INNOCENT LITTLE HELLHOUNDS TO FURTHER YOUR NEFARIOUS PLANS.

  Sheesh—what made me think it’d be fun to have this dog around? His snarky nature was coming out now. And how could I refuse Dan’s generous offer without looking like an ingrate?

  I couldn’t. “Okay, thanks.”

  “Great—I’ll call her.”