The Monster Catchers--A Bailey Buckleby Story

by George Brewington

  Bailey pointed to the furiously pedaling goblins on the bicycles. “There’s science right there—you’re creating electricity with biomechanical energy.”

  The crowd of goblins looked confused for a moment, and then a wave of anger overtook them. “Blasphemy! Liar! Human wickedness! How dare you insult the stars that give us life and beauty? The bicycles transform our love into light. Mr. Pazuzu told us so.”

  Capella returned with two bowls of water.

  “Leave the humans alone. They are children. If you scare them to death, they will be of no use to us.”

  Bailey and Savannah accepted the bowls of water through the bars of their cages. The water stunk like rotten eggs but at least it was clear. There were no bugs in this cave, so Bailey reasoned that it was probably okay to drink. Then he reasoned his science was maybe not so accurate. Then he reasoned he had no choice.

  He drank the water and then crouched down to Capella’s level. “What if I could lead you to a thousand more stars waiting to be freed?” Bailey was thinking of Lamps, Lamps, Lamps, the home lighting outlet on Oceanview Boulevard that guaranteed to satisfy all your home lighting needs. “If you free us, we will help you save them.”

  “Don’t try your human trickery on us, boy. We are doing just fine rescuing the stars on our own. We estimate we are more than halfway done.”

  “What?” Bailey said, sitting up. “You can’t be serious. Do you know how many fallen stars there are in the world?”

  “Seven hundred and sixty-five thousand, four hundred and forty-two,” Capella said, quite matter-of-factly.

  Bailey smiled, but Capella was not joking.

  “You can’t really think so,” Bailey insisted. “Whether you think they are stars or electrical lights, you must know that there are millions of them in California alone.”

  “I stand by our elders’ calculations. Now be quiet and take a nap. We rest here for a short while and then we continue our march to the great open sea.”

  Bailey did not like the sound of that. “What will you do with us when we reach the great open sea?”

  Capella grinned proudly with sharp fangs curling out over her bottom lip.

  “We will trade you to your father for the baby sea giant and return him to his crib at the bottom of the sea. If your father doesn’t agree, we give you and the girl to the sea giants so they can eat you to avenge the kidnapping of their son. In either case, we expect their gratitude. They are the only creatures alive who are tall enough to lift the stars to the sky and restore the heavens to their former glory. The Eighteenth Goblin Order of Star Guardians will have succeeded where the seventeen orders before us failed, and we will live under beautiful starlight once more.”

  Savannah whispered to Bailey through the bars. “Bailey boy, these goblins are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  COME BACK TO ME, BOY

  THE GOBLINS kept the stars lit all night with constant pedaling. Bailey couldn’t sleep, despite his weariness, because even with his eyes closed, the thousands of lightbulbs blazed and formed red and yellow spots against his eyelids. All he could do was watch the goblins diligently cycling, changing shifts every thirty minutes, while others in miniature T-shirt robes knelt in prayer before the bulbs that still more goblins polished continuously.

  But eventually, like Savannah in the cage next to him, sleep overtook him. His head rested on one arm while he used the other to shield his eyes from the cave’s brilliant and unnatural light.

  He thought of his mother—or maybe he dreamed of her—somewhere across the ocean, alive somehow, living inside a whale like the original Whalefatians had, with a tattered and wet copy of In the Shadow of Monsters. Bailey envisioned her studying the book furiously, looking for clues as to how she could escape and come home.

  “Mom, Mom!” he called out, but the goblin guard whose back rested against Bailey’s cage banged on the bars with the back of his hand. “Your mother isn’t here, boy. Go back to sleep.”

  Maybe he did, because it seemed only a second later that he heard a light scratching against the plastic piping. He opened his aching eyes and remembered where he was.

  Scratch, scratch, scratch.

  Bailey rolled on his belly and saw a familiar little face. It was like a rat’s but slightly bigger, with two tusks protruding over its upper lip. It cocked its head at Bailey in greeting. Amazed, he realized it was one of their ratatoskers, and sure enough, a piece of loose-leaf paper had been folded and refolded and pierced on the little creature’s right tusk. Bailey pulled it off gently so as not to disturb his goblin jailers. He unfolded it and read:

  Bailey, my beautiful boy:

  I know you’re alive because you’re just too smart to be defeated by a bunch of pea-brained tunnel goblins. I’m too big to get through the tunnel, so I tried to expand the entrance with dynamite, but that only caused a complete collapse. I’m sure you are lost underground, so I sent this ratatosker to find you. Keep him close, and when the time is right, let him sniff the attached cloth. It’s from my sweatshirt. He will pick up my scent and run to me. Follow him. Come back to me, boy.

  Be safe down there. I love you,

  Dad

  Sure enough, a tiny piece of red cloth, stained with pizza sauce, was taped to the letter.

  The ratatosker sat up on its hind legs and lifted its nose in the air as if it sensed it was time for a mission. It raised one four-toed paw.

  “First we have to get out of these cages,” Bailey whispered. “But I don’t know how to do that.”

  But Savannah did. She was pretending to sleep on her belly, her head on one arm while her other hand methodically, slowly scraped away at the extension cord the goblins had used to bind the piping that made the floor of her cage. She had hidden away the two sharpened stones in her hoodie after all. Bailey felt very lucky, for if they couldn’t talk their way out of this dilemma, they would have to fight their way out, and if his father wasn’t available, Savannah was quickly proving herself to be a suitable alternative.

  He watched her work, and finally she succeeded—a pipe came loose, but she grabbed it just before it fell to the stone floor. Bailey’s heart beat faster as she cut off a handful of her hair with the stone and used the hair to tie the pipe back into place. Then she began scraping away at the next piece of electrical cord.

  Bailey suddenly felt terrified. He knew the goblins would most likely keep him alive to trade for Henry, but what if they realized they didn’t need Savannah alive at all?

  Bailey pulled the ratatosker into the cage, tucking it inside his hoodie pocket, trying not to make any noise as it scrambled around tickling and scratching him. Finally, it curled into a ball and lay still.

  One of the guards squinted and peered into Savannah’s cage, becoming suspicious of her scraping. With her back to him, she couldn’t see him coming closer. If Bailey didn’t distract him, he would take away her stones and then they’d have no chance at all.

  So Bailey did what he had to do. He totally flipped out.

  “I need to get out of here! My head’s gonna explode! I’m gonna pull my skin off! I can’t take all this light anymore! Help me, help me! YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUT!”

  “Shut up, boy. You can’t go home to your daddy. You’re our prisoner.”

  The goblins had no idea what would calm a human boy, so they patted his legs awkwardly. Savannah kept her back to them all, and he saw she was taking advantage of the opportunity. Her hand was moving faster, scraping the extension cord as fast as she could.

  Bailey stood up and shook the bars of his prison. The pipes rattled and Bailey surprised himself with his own strength. Maybe, if he got angry enough, he could shake the bars apart with his bare hands.

  “I need to get out! You have to let me out!”

  The guards yelled at him to shut up as the other white-robed goblin guardians took notice and began surrounding their cages. Bailey knew Savannah didn’t have much time. He had to convince all the goblins to focus on
him.

  “Listen to me, goblins,” Bailey said earnestly. “Axel Pazuzu can’t be trusted. No matter what he tells you, you have to understand that diving to the bottom of the ocean with Henry is impossible. That far out, the water is too deep for you. You can’t trust him.”

  The goblins nearest him scoffed at the suggestion. “You can’t be trusted, human,” one of them spat back. “You destroy our cities with subways. You chop down the trees and replace them with concrete. You steal the stars and make them your slaves.”

  Capella stepped forward. She wore a white T-shirt robe like the others. “You humans are the ones that will do anything for money. You told me yourself that you agreed to put us in cages for seven thousand dollars.”

  All the other goblins gasped. Then one whispered, “Is seven thousand a lot of dollars?”

  “It’s a lot, I think,” whispered another.

  Canopus stamped his foot. “Irrelevant! A goblin’s life is worth more than any amount of paper! And a star’s life is worth more than any number of goblin lives. The giants will be grateful to us for returning their son and they will lift the stars back into the sky. Only a giant can lift a star so high.”

  “Only a giant can lift a star so high,” the goblins chanted together.

  Bailey sighed. “You must listen. The sea giants, no matter how tall they are, cannot hang stars back in the sky. The stars haven’t gone anywhere—they’re still up there. You just can’t see them because of all the light from our cities. It’s called ambient light. We learned about it in earth science last year.”

  Canopus growled. “Lies, lies, all human lies!”

  The other goblins picked up the chant. “LIES, LIES, ALL HUMAN LIES!”

  Then Bailey thought of something.

  “What if I could show you that the stars really are still hanging in the sky? What if I took one of you high up to see them? As high as a sea giant’s head? Then you could see the stars are still there.”

  Canopus’s eyes narrowed, as did all the other goblins’. “Never trust a human,” one whispered, and all of them bared their pointed yellow teeth.

  Suddenly there was a clatter of pipes hitting the floor. Bailey turned, as did all the goblin guardians. Savannah had scraped the bindings of her cage floor completely away, allowing her to roll through the bottom and onto the sanctuary floor. Before a goblin could catch her, she ran to a reading lamp that glowed brightly against the cave wall. She grabbed it and held it high above her head with one hand. In her other hand she held a sharpened stone.

  “STAND BACK, ALL OF YOU! Bailey Buckleby and I are leaving this place right now. Or I will smash this star into smithereens.”

  All the goblins gasped in unison.

  “I am totally serious,” she said, threatening the lamp with her rock.

  One of the guards snarled in contempt, but watching her carefully, he slowly unlocked Bailey’s cage.

  The other goblins took one step back and whispered, “Don’t do it, girl. It’s so fragile. Please spare the star.”

  Savannah threatened the bulb with her rock. Bailey stepped out of his cage, and Canopus cracked his knuckles as if he was willing to make a different choice than his fellow goblins.

  “Listen, Canopus,” Bailey said quietly. “My offer stands. I have a friend who can fly us up to the sky, higher than the clouds. It will be dangerous, but once you’re high enough, you’ll be able to see all the stars. Wouldn’t that be worth the risk? And wouldn’t you love to deliver this good news to all of the Eighteenth Order? You could tell all goblins everywhere that the stars are alive and safe where they belong and you don’t need to steal human lights anymore. The truth is up there. I promise you.”

  Canopus’s green eyes glowed with hatred. “Why would I trust you? You and your father locked me in a cage.”

  “I’m not my father,” Bailey said, and as soon as he said it, he realized this had always been true. Not all monsters were evil, and in fact, some of them deserved more respect than a lot of humans he knew. He had never needed Dr. March or even his mother to teach him this truth—only to confirm it.

  Canopus took one step forward and Bailey took one step backward. The exit from the Starlight Sanctuary into the darkness of unknown tunnels lay just behind him.

  “Bailey and I are leaving,” Savannah insisted. “Give me my sword or this star gets it!”

  Bailey wanted to make things right. “Canopus, let us go and I’ll show you.”

  Canopus stared at them, grumbling as he considered Bailey’s words. Finally, he turned and walked solemnly to a large plastic igloo chest that undoubtedly had been stolen from a human’s garage. He flipped the latch and removed a beach towel bundle inside. He opened the towel to reveal Savannah’s Bullhead sword and Bailey’s single red Frisbee.

  “And our phones,” Savannah demanded, waving the rock at the lamp.

  Canopus growled, cursing under his breath, but retrieved their phones from the chest. Bailey took them and inched slowly backward.

  Canopus hissed and lifted his lip in contempt. “You speak as if you offer a choice, but there is none. If I don’t let you leave, the girl destroys the star. If we can’t ransom you for the baby sea giant, then the stars remain on the ground.”

  Bailey’s shoes squished in mud as they walked backward out of the sanctuary. None of the goblins made a move.

  “Come find me, Canopus,” Bailey said earnestly. “I promise you that the Bucklebys will never hunt or harm a tunnel goblin again. And I also promise to prove to you that even if humans have destroyed goblin homes, they’ve left the stars in peace.”

  Canopus lifted his goggles to his forehead and blinked. Whether the goblin believed Bailey’s promises or not, he couldn’t know. The white-robed star protectors stared at them blankly as Bailey and Savannah took one more backward step into the yawning dark tunnel before turning to run.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  AARON AACKERMAN’S SIXTH- GRADE GRADUATION PARTY

  BAILEY AND SAVANNAH soon found themselves alone in thick, muddy darkness with the Starlight Sanctuary only a faint glow behind them. Caverns loomed to the left and right and maybe even beneath them. They could barely tell because they could see only shadows against shadows.

  Savannah waved her revolutionary sword in front of her to protect them from vengeful goblins or whatever else lived under the earth. Bailey stayed behind her so she didn’t slice him. She should have been more afraid, Bailey thought. A certain amount of fear kept you sharp and from making foolish choices. Savannah showed none, and in fact, by the way she was swinging her blade, was almost longing for new foes.

  “I have our way to get home, Savannah, but we’ll need light.” Bailey scratched the back of the ratatosker in his hoodie pocket, keeping it calm and pressing it into a ball so it didn’t dart away into the darkness. Bailey wanted so badly to set the little fuzzball down and let it direct them home, but without light, it would scurry away into the shadows, and their one chance to escape the muddy maze would be wasted.

  “I wish I had grabbed a battery-powered star,” Savannah joked, cutting the air with her sword, zip, zip, zip. “So, Bailey boy. Maybe this would be a good time to discuss your knowledge of underground monsters.”

  “I don’t think you want to know,” he said. Half of the monsters discussed in In the Shadow of Monsters resided underground, and they were the slimiest, creepiest half.

  “Tell me,” she whispered.

  “Well, you know the Grand Canyon wasn’t formed by a river. That’s a myth. The canyon was formed by the movement of the giant snakes of Teotihuacan, which can grow over a thousand feet long. Their mouths can unhinge and swallow ten horses at a time. They travel underground and cause a lot of the earthquakes in California and Mexico. And it’s not just goblins and the giant snakes of Teotihuacan that make tunnels—there are also the mole people, who are totally blind but will eat anything they smell, including humans—”

  Finally, she showed fear. “You’re right, Bailey boy. I don’
t want to know.”

  They walked without speaking for what seemed to be miles. They turned where the tunnels turned, they climbed uphill, they slid downhill, and one time they fell five feet from darkness into even deeper darkness. They had no idea if they were getting closer to the surface or going deeper or just going in circles.

  They had no food. Worse, they had no water. Their phone batteries had died long ago, so they had no light or even a chance at reception. Savannah suggested they suck on the mud but Bailey didn’t think they had reached that level of desperation just yet. He felt dizzy and slipped to his knees more and more frequently.

  “Should we stop and sleep?” Savannah suggested.

  “To be honest, I’m afraid I wouldn’t wake up.” He felt too weak to even cry and was glad, because despite how dire their circumstances had become, he still wanted so badly to be cool in front of this amazing girl and save the day.

  Or save the night. He couldn’t be sure which.

  “Let’s sit and rest for a minute,” Savannah said. “I won’t let you sleep. We’ll sit for five minutes tops, then we’ll make ourselves get up and keep moving.”

  They sat in the mud—Savannah right next to him, some part of her touching some part of him, but he could hardly even tell. “I’m cold,” she said and snuggled into him, putting her head down on his because she was that much taller. He put his arm around her shoulder, trying not to be short.

  “I promised you I wouldn’t let you sleep.”

  “Then talk to me. Tell me how you got to be so tough.”

  There was a long pause in the dark. “Now you sound like the girls in our class who make fun of me, like being tough is a bad thing.”

  Bailey wrapped his arm tighter around her. “I’m not making fun of you at all. I’m glad you’re tough, Savannah. We’re gonna need tough if we plan to escape these tunnels.”

  He felt her breath on his cheek. “My parents leave me home alone a lot. They go out to bars and come home late, so I’ve had to make myself be brave enough to face any monsters in the dark. I’ve always known they were out there and not just characters in stories, so I kept this sword under my bed, and even when I wasn’t big enough to hold it, I liked knowing it was there. Reading stories about the Bullhead Brigade has always made me feel bigger and stronger. Sometimes I even pretend my great-great-great-great-grandfather’s ghost watches over me.”