Crystal

by Walter Dean Myers

  “I know,” Crystal said.

  “That’s why you’re better off not telling anyone about posing in the altogether.”

  “I didn’t!” Crystal said. “I had a fur coat on and a swimsuit on under it.”

  “I didn’t think you would,” Carol said. “I mean, not completely nude. I just wanted you to know that if the…the occasion came up I would understand.”

  “I didn’t feel very good about being ‘Ooo so sexy,’ either. I mean, I didn’t really feel sexy.”

  “He didn’t like the poses?”

  “He liked the poses okay. I guess it was just being such a fake. It’s not what I thought it would be, you know?”

  “You handled it very well, apparently,” Carol said. “I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thanks.” Crystal felt somehow that they were talking about different things.

  “Of course, there are people who are used to thinking professionally and people who just can’t. So it’s better to keep the professional matters between us. Okay?”

  “Sure,” Crystal said. “No problem.”

  “And don’t forget to call Loretta about the party.”

  Crystal had to call three times before she got Loretta. She told her she had promised Pat that they would study together. She didn’t tell her she thought that she might flunk History if they didn’t study together.

  “Look, why don’t you see if Pat can come along, too,” Loretta had said. “We can just have the limo pick her up. It might be fun for her.”

  Crystal called Pat and told her what Loretta had said. Pat wasn’t too happy about it.

  “My mother is going to go through her whole boy-crazy number,” Pat said. “If I even mention boys in my house, she starts going on like I’m Madonna’s bad sister or something.”

  “You’re always asking me what it’s like to be a model and go out in a limousine,” Crystal said. “So come along and find out.”

  “What about Donald?”

  “Tell him you’re going to a party given by The Uniform Solution—he has to go for it. He’s into music.”

  “I mean, can he come?”

  “Pat, what are we going to do, show up with a whole bunch of sophomores at a party? I broke my neck getting you in. You really have to…mature.”

  “Okay. I’ll have to tell my folks tonight. I’ll let you know tomorrow.

  9

  “There’s something different about your act, ya know what I mean?” Joe Sidney leaned across the couch to where Larry Mananero, lead guitar of The Uniform Solution, sat. “Ya got something good. It’s like none of you give a crap for nothin’ but you play good. Usually you see your groups that act like they don’t give a crap, they don’t play for crap, either.”

  “We’re nihilists.” Larry was wearing white makeup and had his hair dyed white. “We don’t believe in tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s your problem,” Sidney said, turning away. “I don’t care what you believe in, so long as you got something different. You got another album in the works?”

  “We’re supposed to be in the studio in a month,” Larry said. “A lot different than this one. It’s really going to be hot.”

  “Yeah, maybe, maybe…” Sidney leaned back and started chewing on his cigar. “Look, run the music past Kelly in my office. See if he likes it. If he don’t you got to come up with something new.”

  “That’s not the point,” Larry said. “If people like it or not, it doesn’t make any difference in the world.”

  “Don’t tell me what’s the point, punk.” Sidney pointed at Larry with his cigar. “You want to be in my production, you don’t tell—you listen!”

  “Yeah, man, but I don’t think you understand what we’re trying to do.”

  “It’s a good thing you got a manager, because you’re an idiot!” Joe Sidney stood, flicked an ash from his unlit cigar onto Larry’s lap, and walked away.

  “That guy is such a creep!” Larry said. “I mean, he’s really a creep! One moment he’s telling us how great we are, and the next he’s putting us down.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t want to use your music,” Pat said.

  “Oh, he’ll use it,” Larry said, laughing. He tossed his head back and looked at Pat. “He’ll use it because it’s going to make him a bundle of money!”

  Pat, Crystal, and Loretta were sitting at a table near the shiny yellow Silver Cloud that the owners had made into a serving booth in the Kaliber Club. The club had been closed to the public for the private party. Crystal hadn’t recognized many of the guests. They were, for the most part, record-company people. Sidney’s company was listed as co-producer with Polar Productions, and he and several executives from Polar had been introduced before the party swung into high gear.

  “I’m not trying to put off the guy, Crystal,” Larry said. “But what Sidney sees is flesh and money. He wants his pound either way.”

  Pat glanced at Crystal and Loretta.

  “Well, Crystal will make him a lot of money, too,” Loretta said. “And that’s why he’s anxious to use her in his upcoming production.”

  “She’ll be fabulous!” Larry answered. “And I know it’s going to make money. I mean, Coyote Ugly was a lousy story, the characters weren’t believable, but it clicked because the music was right and the flesh was beautiful.”

  “I liked the story,” Pat said.

  “You liked the story?” Larry took Pat’s hand. “You are so beautiful and so innocent. Will you marry me?”

  “You’re crazy!” Pat laughed and retrieved her hand.

  “Does that mean yes?”

  “No, it doesn’t,” Pat said.

  “Oh, marry him!” Crystal teased.

  “You want to just fool around?” Larry put his head on Pat’s shoulder.

  “I don’t think so,” Pat said, seriously.

  “We’ll see,” Larry said. Then he turned to Crystal. “Did Panting Sidney, that’s what we call him, make a grab for you yet?”

  “Not yet,” Crystal said. “Fortunately.”

  Larry saw one of the members of The Uniform Solution headed toward the stage. “I’ve got to get up on stage. We promised to play a medley-type thing before the party ends.”

  Pat and Crystal watched as Larry made his way through the noisy crowd toward the small stage that had been set up for the occasion.

  They watched him stop and talk to several of the guests, greeting each one with exaggerated movements, getting slightly wilder as he got ready to play.

  “I think he’s on something,” Crystal said.

  “You think that guy Sidney is actually going to make a move on you?” Pat asked.

  “Probably,” Crystal said.

  “Being moved on is part of the business,” Loretta said. “Lying down for it isn’t.”

  “You ought to slap his face if he even tries!” Pat said.

  “Pat, grow up!”

  “Why should you have to put up with his nasty ways?” Pat said. “If some creep like that came up and started making a move on me, I’d tell him off!”

  “Don’t worry,” Crystal snapped. “Nobody’s going to ask you!”

  “I didn’t say…” Pat put her hands in her lap. “I just meant that you shouldn’t let people push you around.”

  “Everybody’s not as uptight as you are,” Crystal said. “Let’s just leave it at that.”

  “I’m not uptight, Crissie,” Pat said.

  Crystal got up and looked around the floor. Dave Lenz, the drummer from The Uniform Solution, was in the middle of the floor, dancing by himself. Crystal got up and walked over to him.

  “You always dance by yourself?” she asked. “And how come you’re not playing with the band?”

  “Just waiting for you to dance with, love,” he said. “And they’re not really playing. They’re just synching the sound-track.”

  Crystal began to dance. She was a good dancer and she knew it. The music was, like all of The Uniform Solution’s music, almost otherworldly. Crystal mov
ed to it easily, giving herself over to the steady rhythm that acted as a counterpoint to the wandering tune.

  There were people watching as Crystal and Dave danced slowly in the middle of the room. A few of the other dancers stopped to see what they were doing. Dave was wearing a powder blue base and had his hair dyed the same color. Someone dimmed the lights and put a spot on Dave and Crystal.

  Crystal gave herself to the music and put all of her body into what she was doing. She thought of herself as beautiful. She thought of herself as sexy. Everyone was watching her. It was a good feeling. She knew that Pat would be watching. Pat, with her shocked face. So let her be shocked, Crystal thought. Maybe a little shock would make her less sure of herself.

  Crystal put her hands on the outside of her thighs and slid her skirt up. She moved closer and closer to Dave until, when she rotated her hips slowly forward, they would almost touch him. Someone, probably Larry, began playing a wild guitar solo over the record. The lights were getting dimmer. Just before they went out completely Crystal dug her teeth lightly into Dave’s chest.

  “To tell you the truth, I didn’t expect it of her.” Loretta was putting on her coat to leave. “She’s usually so demure.”

  “She’s wild, I like that,” Joe Sidney said. “That dance she did with the drummer was a real hot number. We got to use that in the movie.”

  “So you want to sign her now?” Loretta offered Sidney a pen.

  “We’ll sign her to a commitment sheet,” Sidney said.

  “I don’t want a commitment sheet, because she’s not important enough to make a difference,” Loretta said. “If she’s in the movie, then it’s fine; if she’s not, the commitment sheet won’t help a bit. You said you like her—why don’t you sign her?”

  “What am I gonna do if somebody puts up the money to back somebody else, huh? What am I gonna do then?” Sidney said. “Suppose somebody puts up a couple of million to back this little girl here. What’s your name, honey?”

  “Pat.”

  “Then what am I going to do?” Sidney asked.

  “Pat’s not even in the business, she’s just a friend of Crystal’s,” Loretta said. “And anyway, where’s your artistic integrity?”

  “I lost it a while back.” Sidney looked out over the dance floor. “There’s a lot of people here tonight, and she got her picture taken more than anybody.”

  “When do you expect the finances to clear?” Loretta asked.

  “Next week,” Sidney said. “I see the money people Monday. If they say I can go with her I’ll go with her. Where does she live?”

  “Brooklyn.”

  “Good. We can use that in the publicity,” Sidney said. “‘Brooklyn slum girl makes good.’ I’ll get Larry to give her a lift home tonight.”

  “Why?” Loretta asked.

  “I got to see how she and Larry get along,” Sidney said. “If the money guys don’t go for the angle I gave him in the treatment, then maybe I can switch the whole thing to her and Larry. Instead of her dancing with the drummer, she can dance with Larry. Yeah, they can have a real hot number together. That way if the rushes look like garbage, I can still have something by switching the end around and going for the teenybopper market.”

  “That’s a hotter market, anyway,” Loretta said. “It might be easier to get the money for that market.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ll go whichever way the money comes,” Sidney said. “You know what I mean?”

  “You mean your creative talents are flexible,” Loretta said, glancing at Pat.

  “Whatever,” Sidney responded.

  “I can’t wait!” Pat said. “It’s one o’clock already. My mom is going to kill me!”

  “She’s not going to kill you,” Crystal said. “If she’s awake and looking out of the window, she’s going to see you pull up in the limo and she’s not going to say a thing. If you look like you’re really making it, people don’t care what you do.”

  “She’s going to kill me,” Pat said.

  “Why are you trying to ruin my evening?” Crystal asked.

  “Crissie, I’m not trying to ruin anything.”

  “Then just go along with it.” Crystal put her arm around Pat’s shoulders. “How wrong can it be if we’re together? Right?”

  “Right.” Pat forced a smile.

  “And don’t start sniffling, okay? They want Larry to take me home in the limo because that kind of thing is good for my career. Don’t blow it for me, Pat. Just try to be cool.”

  Larry popped the cork on the champagne just as the stretch limo pulled away from the curb. The seats in the back of the limo were in an oval around the small bar.

  “We ought to drink this from somebody’s shoes, but I think everybody except Dave is wearing open toes tonight,” Larry said. He poured champagne for the four of them.

  Crystal snuggled up to Larry and put her head on his chest.

  “I think she’s trying to convert me in midstream,” Larry said, pulling Crystal closer.

  “I wonder if her friend would like to convert me on the way to Brooklyn?” Dave said.

  “Pat’s a little tense,” Crystal said.

  “I’m not tense,” Pat said.

  “Good,” Larry said. “Let’s see a conversion.”

  Dave pulled Pat to him and started to kiss her. At first she started to push him away, and then she allowed him to kiss her. When Crystal saw that Pat was coming up for air, she turned to Larry and kissed him.

  Larry poured some more champagne for himself. Car lights flashed by them, making his pale, made-up face look weird in the darkened limousine.

  Dave was fumbling with the front of Pat’s dress.

  Crystal told herself that Pat would do what she wanted to do. She was only four months younger than Crystal. Larry had his arm around Crystal’s shoulders and was holding her gently. Crystal looked up at him and saw that he was watching Dave and Pat intently.

  Crystal couldn’t see very well what was happening in the dim light. She caught glimpses of Dave and Pat and thought she saw Pat trying to push his hands away. She knew Dave had been drinking too much. For a moment, as they passed a sign on Broadway, Crystal found herself looking into Pat’s eyes. There was a sadness in them, a sadness that lasted for a long second, then disappeared as the interior of the car went dark.

  The yellow light on the stairwell at 360 Putnam Avenue made the dingy walls look yellow. They hadn’t spoken for nearly ten minutes. Pat leaned against the wall, crying softly.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Why do you have to do anything?” Crystal said. “You just go in the house and say that you’re tired and you’ll tell everybody what a wonderful time you had in the morning.”

  “I just feel so dirty.”

  “You didn’t go all the way, or anything like that, so you don’t have anything to worry about!” Crystal said. “I don’t know why you’re so upset.”

  “Why don’t you say something nice to me!” Pat said. “I thought you were my friend.”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?” Crystal said. “I’ve got to walk to Gates Avenue by myself now.”

  “I just feel so terrible!”

  “Why? I really want to know why?”

  “I don’t know,” Pat said softly. “Because I don’t feel good about myself, I guess. I always thought I was so special. Then here I am kissing a guy and letting him put his hands all over me in the back of a car.”

  “It’s not that big a deal, Pat,” Crystal said. “You have to ask yourself what you did wrong. If you don’t come up with something, something real, then it’s okay.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  “Sometimes,” Crystal said.

  “You’re not going to tell anybody, are you?” Pat asked. Her voice was soft and it made Crystal sad to hear her.

  “Of course not,” Crystal said. She pulled Pat to her feet and put her arms around her.

  When Crystal got home, her father
was sleeping at the kitchen table. He was in his undershirt. She figured he had been waiting up for her. She looked at the clock over the sink. It was almost three. She went quietly into her room, undressed in the dark, and slipped into bed.

  She couldn’t sleep. She kept thinking about Pat. She wondered what Pat would think about the pictures she had posed for. She had thought about telling her. After what had happened in the limousine, even though Pat hadn’t really done anything terrible, Crystal knew that she would have an easier time talking to her friend. Maybe they could even be better friends now than before.

  She heard footsteps. It had to be her father. She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep as the door opened.

  “Crystal?” The light switched on.

  Crystal kept her eyes shut even when her father kissed her goodnight.

  10

  Crystal had been studying geometry since early Tuesday morning. Mrs. O’Donnell had announced a test at the end of class the day before.

  “Anybody absent tomorrow will have to take a much harder make-up test,” the teacher had announced. “And let me warn you, the test will be at least fifty percent of your grade for the quarter. Any questions?”

  Crystal wanted to study with Pat but hadn’t called her. Pat had been quiet in church Sunday and had refused her invitation to come up to Crystal’s house for lunch. In school, Monday, she had been all right but still a little distant.

  “You still thinking about the other night?” Crystal had asked her on the bus.

  “A little,” Pat said. “You know what I did?”

  “What?”

  “Went out and bought their album,” Pat said. “The old one, Noises in a Swound. What a creepy name.”

  “What are you doing tonight?”

  “Some things for my mother,” Pat had said. “Paying bills, that kind of thing.”

  “Oh.”

  Crystal had wanted to say more, to talk about how Pat felt, but she didn’t. She especially wanted to know why Pat had bought the album. Crystal thought that if Pat had really felt bad about kissing Dave in the car and letting him put his hands on her, she wouldn’t even want to think about it. Instead, she had bought The Uniform Solution’s album, even though Crystal knew that Pat didn’t like their music that much.