A Most Civil Proposal

by C. P. Odom

  As he bowed in introduction to the various members of the party, she noticed his gaze repeatedly returned to her. Self-consciously, she rose and crossed the room to greet him.

  “Miss Elizabeth,” he said softly as he bowed over her hand, lightly brushing his lips over her fingers.

  “Mr. Darcy,” she said in reply, unable to keep the twinkle out of her eyes and the slight smile off her lips as she unconsciously reacted to his gallantry.

  Darcy was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected warmth of her welcome. He, too, had been feeling unsettled — there were so many things between them that had not even been discussed, much less resolved, and he was cheered at the reception. Her manner was open and friendly, and he could not help but note the difference between this meeting and all the others in Kent and Hertfordshire.

  How could I possibly have believed that she greeted me with expectation then? he thought. Those were greetings of cold politeness, and I had not the wit to even recognize it.

  His discomposure must have shown in his face, for she suddenly looked uneasy. “Is something wrong, Mr. Darcy?” she asked quietly. They were standing alone some paces from the others after their initial greeting and thus had a small measure of privacy.

  “No, nothing at all,” he responded, forcing a smile. “I just had occasion to remember some of my mistaken assumptions in the past, and the recollection was not pleasing.”

  She cocked an eyebrow at him. “You must learn my philosophy, Mr. Darcy, and think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.”

  He laughed. Oh, how he enjoyed their jousting! “I think your philosophy stems from a different root, Miss Elizabeth. Your retrospections must be free of that which might cause reproach, so your contentment is not based on ignoring that which would cause embarrassment but rather on its absence. But I am not so fortunate. I have painful memories though I would not change them, for how else would I learn?”

  He sobered suddenly. “A matter has arisen that must be addressed immediately. I will speak to your uncle and request the opportunity to talk with you privately as soon as may be.”

  Elizabeth was troubled by the stormy expression that came and went over his face. “I had already approached my uncle regarding this as I have some items of my own I should like to discuss. He has agreed to the use of his study. However, you should still ask him.”

  Darcy nodded, and he reluctantly left her to approach her aunt and uncle. Elizabeth turned to see Jane staring at her in both surprise and confusion. She had not had a moment of privacy in which to inform Jane of any of what had occurred in Kent, though her sister had made one sly remark that Elizabeth had best prepare for a long talk before bed. Bingley, too, sat with his mouth open in astonishment, looking back and forth between herself and his friend, the light of comprehension only just beginning to dawn in his eyes.

  Maria Lucas still attended to her sewing but with a hint of a smile on her face. To Elizabeth, that smile intimated that Maria was not as surprised by Darcy’s greeting of her as she ought to have been, which led to the further thought that Charlotte had likely confided at least some aspects of the events in Kent to her sister before they left the Parsonage. Mr. Gardiner had offered his carriage to take Miss Lucas on to Hertfordshire on the morrow, and Maria was eager to accept. She had not only the news of her stay at Hunsford to share around the neighbourhood, but she had the infinitely more attractive information of the fortunate union secured by the eldest Bennet girl and possibly the second eldest as well.

  Well, Elizabeth thought ruefully as she walked over to sit by Jane, there is no chance of evasion or disguise now; the cat is well and truly out of the bag!

  It was not long before Elizabeth saw Mr. Darcy and her uncle rise and leave the room, and she was accordingly not surprised when, a few minutes later, the maid approached to say that her uncle desired her presence in his study. As she excused herself, Elizabeth was aware, even without seeing, of the calculating look that Jane and Bingley exchanged. They either were, or soon would be, adding their sums and reaching an uncomfortably accurate conclusion. Her aunt was, as usual, several steps ahead of everyone else, and she sent Elizabeth a smile that betrayed a considerable amount of self-satisfaction. Elizabeth shook her head in amusement, thinking of how pitilessly she was going to be interrogated later by them both.

  When she entered her uncle’s study, the men rose politely, and Mr. Gardiner said, “Please take a seat, Lizzy. Mr. Darcy has asked for some time to speak with you privately, and as your guardian while you stay with us, I have felt compelled to set the usual conditions, little though I believe it is necessary for either of you. But I will remind you,” he smiled, “that you need not settle everything tonight since we dine at seven.” Darcy darkened slightly, Elizabeth flushed more, and Mr. Gardiner chuckled to himself as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

  Once they were alone, they at first sat silently with so much to say that neither could venture a word. At last, Darcy sighed. “Where shall we start, Miss Bennet?”

  Elizabeth smiled. “I shall start by thanking you for your efforts with Mr. Bingley. I know it could not have been easy.”

  Darcy squirmed in his seat with remembrance. “Yes, it was difficult. I have never seen Bingley so angry. I had not believed he could get that angry. Did you know he ordered me from his house?”

  “He did?” Elizabeth stared at him in astonishment. “That is remarkable!”

  Darcy nodded. “Most assuredly he did, though he did stop by my townhouse the next afternoon after he spoke to your father, and he then very generously forgave me. He was quite exuberant by that time and invited me to accompany him to your uncle’s house.”

  “Jane did not say a word of Mr. Bingley’s being angry,” Elizabeth said, shaking her head in amusement, “though she did write that you had called. I have to wonder if he has yet told her of it. Jane and I have not had a chance to speak privately since I returned. However, based on the looks I received when I left the sitting room, I believe that she and Mr. Bingley are probably discussing us quite extensively right now.”

  He smiled briefly and then sobered. “May I assume that you do not know about his sister?” When Elizabeth shook her head, he continued, “He banished her to the Hurst’s home after he found out about her deceptions, and then he suspended her allowance. He will not allow her to return, and possibly more significantly, he will not even discuss the matter with me. Though,” he smiled wickedly, “I have not pressed him very hard.”

  Darcy continued thoughtfully, “I suspect that Charles may not need nearly as much advice from me in the future. But, since that was the goal I was trying to guide him toward in any event, one good result is that he is much closer to being his own man than he would have been otherwise. Not,” he said wryly, “that I would recommend the way in which events shaped themselves if I could do it over again.”

  “I daresay,” said Elizabeth with a slight smile. “Now I believe it is your turn, Mr. Darcy.”

  Darcy looked uncomfortable as he took the torn section of newsprint from his pocket and handed it to Elizabeth. Her brow crinkled as she read it, and he tried to prepare himself for her anger and hurt as she was confronted with proof of her unfair entanglement in this noxious affair.

  What he was not prepared for was the tinkling sound of laughter.

  Shocked, he could only stare at her as she looked at the section again in amusement before handing it back to him with a smile on her face. “I . . . I expected you to be upset,” he said haltingly.

  “If you only knew, sir,” she said with an impertinent smile, “how many hours I have spent trying to puzzle out the riddle of your character, arriving at conclusions only after long and difficult struggle, and now I find it was all for naught. One can only laugh or cry when faced with such irony, and I would much rather laugh.”

  Darcy could only look at her in confusion and stammer, “I am sorry . . . I do not believe I understand . . .”

  Elizabeth sighed. “Sometimes
I do not understand myself either, Mr. Darcy.”

  “I do want you to know that I meant what I said in my letter, and my offer of marriage remains open.”

  “I never doubted it, sir. You have, if nothing else, impressed me with your determination.” But then her expression sobered, and she continued, “But before I answer, there are certain things that I must tell you, and I must apologize in advance because some of what I have to say may pain you.”

  Darcy nodded silently, his chest tight.

  “First,” she began, “there is the letter that you wrote me at Hunsford and the whole situation that caused it. I must tell you that I was infuriated when I first read it, both at being involved so unfairly and at the manner in which you stated that your intentions and affections remained unchanged. I considered it a measure of your arrogance and your presumption that you would say what you did, but after I talked with Charlotte and calmed down, I could see the sense of what you wrote and even understand the reason that you offered to renew your proposal.”

  Darcy winced. “I feared that the letter would upset you, but Fitzwilliam and I could see no other way to apprise you of what we had discovered, nor did we believe that we could delay our departure without making the situation worse. I did walk in the park, hoping to talk to you in person, but I did not meet you.”

  “After our confrontation the previous day, I purposely stayed inside.” With a sigh, she added, “Perhaps it would have been better to have followed my usual custom. As to your assessment of the situation, you and your cousin were likely correct. Certainly, Charlotte energetically defended you, pointing out the logic of your arguments and demanding of me why I was so offended when you were being so generous to defend my reputation.” She smiled in remembrance and continued, “After my anger cooled, I even allowed that she might not be completely in error.”

  “I am sorry to have been the cause of such turmoil,” he said carefully. “And you need not apologize for your anger on receiving my letter — I suspected as much — and your reaction to it was not unreasonable.” He ran his fingers through his hair in the manner that, Elizabeth was beginning to understand, betrayed his inner agitation, and she waited to see if he had more to add before she continued.

  “But your letter and our conversations before you left did give me many things to think about,” she said, “even though I am forced to admit that I was not able to fully consider them until I received Jane’s letter announcing her engagement to Bingley. I knew then that you were, truly, a man of your word, and I was at last able to think deeply on all the matters that were at issue between us.” She coloured slightly. “You cannot know how mortified I was when I understood the manner in which I let myself be deceived by Mr. Wickham. No, Mr. Darcy,” she said, as he started to interject a comment, “I know you are going to say that I must not be so hard on myself, because he has deceived others, but that is not the issue here. What I had to admit is that if I had been so very wrong in my judgment of Mr. Wickham, then I might have been wrong about other things as well. I went back to the very beginning of our acquaintance to consider how I might have deceived myself and drawn other wrong conclusions. It took a very long time to think through everything, and the conclusions I came to were quite surprising to me.”

  Elizabeth met Darcy’s eyes firmly. “When I at length ended my deliberations, I was shocked to discover that I could no longer find any sound reason, after all, to refuse your proposal.” She noted the manner in which he suddenly sat up straighter, and his gaze on her was intent. “I was almost as surprised by my conclusions as I was by your unexpected declaration. We both know that just over a week ago, I had no knowledge of your true feelings. I believed that you despised me, and I was resolved to despise you in turn. Then, as I sat thinking that night, I realized I had just concluded that you were right in at least one of your assertions, and we indeed were well matched. It was a staggering reversal, and I was quite discomfited as I tried to deal with it.”

  Elizabeth could not look away from Mr. Darcy as his eyes were fixed on hers with an intent look that could only remind her of the strength of his love for her. She struggled to continue.

  “You must know how deeply I regret the manner in which I was wrong about your character. Hopefully, we have both improved in understanding since that evening at the Parsonage. But that leads to the matter that you must know before I can give you an answer: my conclusions were based on logic and reasoning — matters of the head rather than matters of the heart. I know of your feelings for me; as surprised as I was by your declaration, I can have no doubt of your love, and it is still a marvel to me. But I must tell you that it is too much to expect that I could return your love in such a short time when this is the first time I have seen you since you left Rosings. And today is the first chance we have had to talk with a complete understanding of each other. So, just as you have been honest with me, I will not attempt to profess feelings that are not my own. I have come to believe in your honour and your honesty, and I already know many things to admire in you, but at this moment there is an inequality in our feelings for one another, and the imbalance favours my comfort more than yours, for I know I am loved and you have no corresponding assurance.”

  “Is that all?” he asked softly.

  “Is it not enough, sir? Truly, I will understand if you now wish to withdraw your offer.”

  “Nonsense!” he stated firmly. Elizabeth looked confused, and he had to laugh softly. “If you think that I am going to be frightened off by a little honesty on your part, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, then you have not yet measured the extent of my determination!

  “Now,” he leaned forward in his chair, fixing his eyes on her, “there was a mention of an answer, now that I have been suitably warned.”

  Elizabeth smiled slowly, her spirits rising. “But sir, an answer requires a question, and as I think back, I can only remember a statement.” She leaned forward as well, one lovely eyebrow arched, as she asked softly, “Was there not a question that you had for me, Mr. Darcy?”

  Darcy gave a sharp bark of laughter at her impudent comment, and then grinned hugely, suddenly feeling better than he had for months.

  “Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” he said forcefully, cheered by the smile that she shared with him, “will you do me the honour of taking my hand in marriage?”

  “Well, sir,” she said demurely, “it does seem that I have no choice but to accept your kind offer, so the answer is yes, I will marry you. But now you know the reason that I laughed at that rancid piece of gossip. Since I had already demolished all my previous objections to you, all it did was change the timing and not the result. Assuming,” she said with a smile, “that you did not simply drop me as a bad business.”

  “Little chance of that,” Darcy growled as he took her hand possessively.

  “Though, I am sorry to miss the lengthy courtship you promised me,” she teased. “After I spent so many hours in thought and found myself having to change so many of my opinions of you, I was quite looking forward to my return to London.” She smiled softly and squeezed his hand. “I have not been courted before, and I found that the idea had gained an attraction that caught me completely by surprise.”

  He smiled back at her, his happiness somewhat tempered by her honest sentiments. What more could I have expected? he told himself firmly. A sudden profession of love at such a time would not be in her character. Honesty flows both ways, and if she can trust me enough to warn me of her feelings, then I am well satisfied.

  Elizabeth was serious as she continued. “Now you turn out to have been right about the threat of scandal. We truly must marry, and now that we are engaged, let me put your mind at rest. Do not worry that my reservations will make me unhappy. Please believe me when I tell you that I am not disposed to melancholy, and the assurance of your esteem has given me confidence in our future life. I have complete trust in your pledge that I will be treated with respect and consideration, and many wives never have such a hope. And I will do my utmost to be a
good wife, to care for you and our children, and to always work for your contentment and satisfaction. I feel gratified that you have chosen me despite the unkind things I have said about you.”

  Darcy was moved by the strength of her assurances, and her words were balm to the pains that he had earlier felt. Suddenly he rose to his feet, and Elizabeth looked up as he towered over her, so tall and imposing, yet with more warmth and sympathetic understanding on his face than she would have believed possible before. He reached out to her, and her hands went to his almost without conscious thought, and she found herself being pulled to her feet and then being pulled to his chest. She did not resist as his arms enfolded her into an embrace

  The experience of being held by any man was a novel one for her, and she found that the sensation of Mr. Darcy’s arms around her gave rise to unfamiliar and unexpected feelings. She felt a contentment that she had never known and had not even been aware of missing. More, she felt a protection and security that was equally unprecedented. She could not put into words why it was, but had she been disposed to examine how her character had been formed while growing up in a household exemplified by chaos and lack of direction, she might have had an inkling. She had never had anyone to lean on except Jane, and the support they provided each other was different from what she now felt in Darcy’s arms. She could not put a name on it, but she knew that she did not want it to end.

  Yet end it must, and eventually she was stirred to find her handkerchief and dry the few tears that had somehow run down her cheeks, due not to anguish but rather to the release of emotions she had been holding strictly in check. As she dabbed her eyes, Darcy raised her chin to look her in the face. “Elizabeth,” he said intently, wanting to make sure she understood and believed him, “you have made me happier tonight than I have ever been in my life.” His eyes darkened in that familiar way as he looked at her, and he said simply, “I do not believe I could live without you, and I cannot believe the desperately small margin by which I avoided that fate. Do not worry about what you termed reservations. I understand, believe me, and I could not expect more given the turbulent nature of our acquaintance. But from this point on, you may be secure in my love as my mother was in my father’s love all the days of her life. I admit that some of what you said pained me, but I know that your words were honest and truthful, and I would always have it that way between us. I am satisfied and content that we shall be friends at the least and hopefully more in time.”