Elemental Fear

by Ada Frost

  “Yeah I agree. You can make a mean chilli and curry but a full gourmet meal? Nah I'm not feeling that.” She said with a defiant shake of her head. I looked at her with my best pout and sad eyes begging her to play along. “Oh shit...go on then what you got?” She asked.

  I smiled giddily and clapped my hands.

  “Okay so there are some seriously delicious sounding deserts. Pumpkin or pecan pie?”

  “I am not eating pumpkin, those have one purpose and that is to be carved! Have you smelt the crap that comes out of them.” She gave a mock shiver “and I can’t eat nuts whilst I’m pregnant.”

  “Urgh...apple pie then?”

  “Crumble and you have a deal.”

  I grumbled but wrote it down as part of our menu.

  “We need a turkey, and ooh those potatoes look nice.” I said and my stomach groaned loudly.

  “It’s mash, what’s ‘ooh’ about mash?”

  “You are so grizzly when pregnant you know that?” I said nudging her with my elbow. “What about meatloaf?”

  “You mean we need music as well?” She said with a mock frown then laughed.

  “You’re a cow, and you are not helping at all.” I said but couldn’t help laughing with her.

  “Yeah but you love me.” She leaned into me and laid her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a while, I continued looking at recipes and she seemed to watch me not saying a word. I started reading a particularly delicious sounding desert when she spoke.

  “Do you think he gets lonely here without any family?”

  “Who Johan?” I asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “Erm...I don’t know. I’ve never really asked him.” I swallowed remembering what he had said about his birth mum and what had happened with his biological father. “He’s pretty closed mouthed about that stuff.” I felt wretched lying but it wasn’t my story to tell, I knew better than most the need to keep a secret. “Sometimes I think he’s lonely. But underneath his piss-ant act I really hope you will one day see what an amazing person he is. He’s...he’s got the kindest heart of anyone I know.”

  “Wow...that kind of...” She whispered reverently then snorted “nope not buying it. He’s an idiot who irritates me beyond belief. He’s gorgeous I’ll give him that but then he opens his mouth and spoils it. I have never met anyone who...who...God how do you stand him. Half the time I want to...to...argh.”

  I laughed at her stammering.

  “I like how he is with Ellie, that kid loves him so much.” I said with genuine admiration. “He is brilliant with her; he will make a great dad one day.”

  “Hmm...unlike some I can mention.” She scoffed, sitting upright. I turned my head and looked at her, the sparkle in her eyes had diminished and now she just looked sad. “Darren?” I asked quietly.

  “The bastard.” She corrected. So we were back to that name. Things had clearly gone downhill for them again, the most heartbreaking thing was the past few times she had mentioned him she had sounded like her old self, confident and happy. Now she sounded bitter and dejected.

  “What’s happened I thought you –“

  “Can we not talk about him please? He wants me without the baby; I want him and the baby. Simple I use him for sex until the baby comes and then tell him to get lost.”

  The tears swimming in her eyes were evidence that she didn’t believe it was that simple, and it

  was hurting her a lot more than she would admit. I seriously hated Darren for doing that to her. “Sooo...can I ask you something. But please don’t bite my head off okay?” I could see her watching

  for my reaction out of the corner of her eye.

  “Go on.” I said hesitantly.

  She cleared her throat nervously “Well I’ve been wondering...it’s just...Friday I noticed that –“

  “Spit it out woman.” I laughed, hiding my nerves. Did she believe my lies about falling, had she noticed Elliott’s behaviour or the broken door in the kitchen?

  “Are you in love with Dominic?” She blurted out.

  And just like that all the air in my lungs disappeared. I pressed a hand to my chest whilst the

  other fist froze on the keyboard.

  “If it’s any consolation I believe he feels the same. I always knew you two were close but it wasn’t until recently that I actually cottoned on that he cannot keep his eyes off of you. So do you feel the same?” She uttered quietly.

  “No...not really.” I replied even quieter. Hating how my voice shook. “No you don’t love him?”

  “No, as in it’s no consolation.” I choked moving my hand from my chest to my now parched

  throat.

  “You...are in love with him?”

  “Yes.” I whispered feeling like I had just committed some gigantic sin admitting it aloud. I had a feeling I would face retribution for that little admittance, but the weight of it was slowly killing me.

  “And Elliott.” She asked as I started to shake my head. “It’s complicated.”

  “I can relate to that.” She huffed. We remained quiet for a few minute before a slow smile spread across her face “have you two ever...” She winked and nodded. When I simply stared at her and shook my head not understanding she clarified. “You know...have you and he done the horizontal tango, have you ridden the Dominic express, fu –“

  “I understand you.” I snapped before she continued her tirade. My cheeks heated to epic proportions.

  “When?” She asked sitting up quickly, her excitement growing.

  “When what?” I asked frowning.

  “You two...when did you?”

  “Oh...ooh no...we haven’t I didn’t mean –“

  “You’re blushing, come on tell me all the juicy details.” She turned towards me, lifting her knee onto the sofa and crossing her leg over it.

  “I’ve never slept with him I swear...it’s not like that. We are just –“

  “Friends.” She turned away from me and crossed her arms over her chest sullenly.

  I let out a loud sigh. “We kissed once, twice, no actually three times.” I tilted my head to the side and calculated it then nodded my agreement to myself “Or should I say I kissed him. But nothing happened nothing has ever happened beyond that. He’s always...” I swallowed “it’s always been Vanessa for him.” perfect beautiful Vanessa.

  “Do you know Eve, for a genius you can be a bloody idiot sometimes.” She said and laughed. There

  was no malice in her words “Dominic watches you constantly and Elliott watches him.” She let out a dreamy sign and leaned against the settee cushions “I wish someone would look at me that way.” She turned her head still pressed against the cushions “Do you honestly not see it?”

  I shook my head in the negative.

  “Elliott adores you, he’s a dick, but I can see that he loves you. I don’t like how he talks to you and when you need him he’s nowhere to be found it’s like he frigging disappears into thin air, he disappears and Dominic is there immediately by your side looking like his heart was ripped out. When you were hurt by those bastards at the pub, watching Dominic with you was like...I saw the pain in his eyes sis, it was as if he was the one who’d taken the beating. When you’re hurt, it’s clear to see he hurts. But how I knew he loved you...” Her voice shook and she gave me a watery smile “Was when you were still recovering, and...you were lying curled up on your bed, Ellie was wrapped around you like a blanket, the TV screen was stuck on the menu screen of one of Ellie’s films and Dominic was sitting on your bed with you in the crook of his arm...and the way he...he watched you sleep Eve was like...” She gasped and placed her hand over her heart “Eve, you know I’m not into romantic sappy crap but bloody hell, it even made my knees weak. He just sat stroking your hair and looking at you as if...” She looked around the room as if gathering inspiration then threw up her hands and laughed “I don’t bloody know, I’m not a Bronte sister...but he looks at you like he wants to do more that stick his tongue down your throat and feel
your boobies.”

  I cracked up and burst out laughing. She winked then started laughing with me. Luckily my ribs were a little less painful, I felt free laughing with my sister and it felt wonderful.

  “Why do you stay with Elliott when you’re clearly in love with Dominic?” She asked.

  I turned and looked at her, the words were on the tip of my tongue, the explanation was bubbling inside me wanting to burst free, but I simply shook my head and ended the conversation. I turned my attention back to the screen of my laptop.

  ****

  As I bit into my warm buttery toast Tuesday morning, a knock sounded from the front door, I looked across the dining table at Louise to see who our early morning caller could be. She simply shrugged her shoulders. I walked down the hall and pulled the door open.

  “Good morning me lady, your chariot waits,” he said in a ridiculously cheesy British accent, he bent at the waist bowing in front of me.

  “Wrong accent for this county for one, and two what are you doing here?” I asked trying to hide

  my laughter.

  “I haven’t mastered the Yorkshire accent yet, it’s an art form. Although some time spent with your grandpa may come in useful.” He smiled “I’m here to take you to work. Have you heard anything from Dominic?”

  I frowned and shook my head.

  He let out a loud sigh “The office has contacted me a few times and so has Alistair to try and get in touch with him. Apparently his mobile keeps going directly to voicemail and he isn’t answering the apartment phone.”

  I shook my head worrying my lip with my teeth. “Who’s gone with him?” I asked.

  “Liam, but he’s flying as we speak. So he’s been told to contact Emily as soon as he finds Dominic. I was certain you would have heard from him.”

  “Urgh...what are you doing here?” snapped Louise from behind me making me jump.

  “Good morning sunshine, it’s always such a pleasure to see you.” He replied condescendingly.

  “Piss off.” She snapped stomping up the stairs.

  “Such a social butterfly.” He laughed.

  “You bring out the worst in her.” I laughed watching Lou retreat. “Come on let’s get you to work, I need to stop for gas first.”

  “Petrol Johan!” I laughed.

  “Whatever.” He chuckled and walked towards his car parked at the curb. “I’m going Lou! See you tonight?” I shouted up the stairs.

  “I’m watching Ellie tonight; mum and dad are going out somewhere so if it’s late when they get back I will just stay there okay?”

  “OKAY. See ya.”

  We sat in companionable silence after the petrol station.

  “So are we going to talk about yesterday?” He asked keeping his attention on the road.

  “I’d rather not.” I said quietly.

  “Look I can’t force you to leave him, or report him. I get that you have your reasons for staying

  with him, I just...I suppose all I can do is say that...I’m here for you. I doubt I know all that horrific details but trust me...in fact I beg you to believe me when I say, there is nothing wrong with you. It isn’t your fault, you’re family won’t hate you if they know. They will love you, they will support you – “

  “No.” I shook my head “I can’t...it’s...no I won’t do it to them.” I said adamantly, I know Louise is older now and much feistier than I ever was at her age; I had to protect her and now an innocent child. And then there was Ellie to think about. I couldn’t face anything happening to either of them.

  “I’m your friend and I will do anything to help you. Here...” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a single silver key.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s a key to my apartment...for if...if you ever need to escape, hide or just...use this. I can leave if you need alone time, but just...promise you’ll use it if needed?” He appeared so nervous, but I just wanted to lean over and hug him.

  “Thank you.” I whispered.

  “There’s sunshine outside of the dark scary cave Eve, you just have to believe and take that step,” he said quietly. “Oh and the vacuum is in the second bedroom, and I have a huge pile of laundry...you know if you get bored while you’re there.” He laughed at me.

  I slapped at his shoulder in mock outrage.

  ****

  Work had been hectic; I hardly left my office due to all the paperwork and statistics needed. Alistair had sent out memos to all technicians that Dominic and Liam needed data sent over to Paris as soon as possible. Liam was a technician from the lab who had gone to Paris with Dominic to calibrate the new spectrometers, but the results they were achieving over there were completely wrong so over here our technicians were working furiously with that same test sending data back over to them. Dominic apparently was in total lockdown of meetings, it was near impossible to contact him. I had tried a few times and so had Johan but so far the only person to gain access to him was Alistair.

  Johan had mentioned that Liam was struggling with the pressure and work load, especially seeing

  as it was new equipment and he was struggling with the language barrier.

  When I finally got off the bus and walked down the street to our house I was so relieved to see the front door I could have wept with joy, then I spotted his car in the driveway and I froze on the pavement. After a long day in the lab all I wanted was to take a long hot bath, grab a book and lie on the sofa with my feet up. Not spend the night with a ball of tension in my stomach.

  I started walking again, slowly towards the house, with each step my pulse escalated so all I could

  hear was the pounding of my heart.

  I opened and closed the door quietly, took my coat off and hung it up. I turned and headed into the living room where Elliott sat with his feet on the coffee table, which I hated, especially seeing as he still had his shoes on.

  “Hi.” I said cautiously.

  He turned his head and looked up at me and I gasped when I saw him.

  “What happened to you?” I asked taking an automatic step towards him, but then stepped back when I saw the thunder clouds in his stormy eyes.

  “Your hair looks a cunt.” He sneered. I lifted my hand to my hair, pushing it behind my ear self-

  consciously. “Sorry.”

  “I hate short hair,” he said shaking his head in disgust. I wanted to remind him he took the scissors to it but I remained silent.

  “What...what did you do to your face?” I asked my voice.

  He let out a satanic laugh “Oh Angel, you do play the innocent act so well.” I frowned because I had no clue what he was talking about.

  “So you’re telling me that you had no idea that little fucking yank paid me a visit yesterday. He decided to defend his precious whore. Thinks he can stick his nose in my fucking business.” He seethed.

  I stared at his bruised face. He had a deep purple bruise under his left eye, and his right eye was partially close with swelling. He had a cut and swollen bottom lip, small bruises dotting his chin and when I looked longer I saw marks near the collar of his shirt.

  “I didn’t –“

  “Doesn’t matter though, he sticks his nose in my business because you obviously can’t keep your legs or your mouth shut, so I will have to stick something in Lou.” His lip curled and his eyes flicked to mine “she is looking pretty damn tempting...although...we both know I prefer my women untouched...now Ell –“

  “No! You can’t –“

  “You know the rules you silly bitch, I warned you what would happen”

  I put my hands in front of me in a prayer sign and begged him not to touch them.

  He laughed again, and he stood up slowly. He arched his back stretching, and then bent his neck side to side as if limbering himself up. I took another step back and swallowed.

  “Come here.” He ordered not moving from his position.

  “Elliott –“

  “Come. Here,” he said again through clenched teeth.

>   “I –“

  “COME FUCKING HERE!” He shouted pointing to his side.

  I swallowed and started shaking. My bottom lip trembled and my eyes filled with tears. My hands shook uncontrollably so I fisted them at my sides. I took a tentative step towards him keeping my eyes on the floor.

  I didn’t see his hand reach out and grab my throat.

  “What did you tell him?” He asked nipping at my neck; I yelped out in pain and shook my head. “I warned you...I don’t give a fuck that he knows. You are mine and no one is taking you away do you hear me?”

  I nodded.

  “So we will just send him a little message. Make sure he understands okay?” He asked his voice calm and eerily happy.

  I looked up at him ready to question him when I felt rather than saw his fist connect with my face. I stumbled back falling straight to my backside as pain exploded in my mouth and chin. I held my hand up to my mouth looking up in shock at Elliott; he had never hit me in the face before. He dived at me, holding me by the throat as his reared his fist back again; I closed my eyes tightly and cringed away from the intended impact. The crack of his knuckles against my chin and the pain exploding in my face created a flash of light in my vision and white noise in my ears. He released my throat and ordered me to open my eyes. I shook my head, but he gripped my hair pulling my head back.

  “Open your fucking eyes bitch.” He ordered.

  I slowly opened my eyes and immediately wished I had kept them closed when I saw he was holding my phone towards me. I instantly thought he was going to do that to me. My nether region clenched in absolute horror.

  “Look at the camera.” He held my head in position and I cringed when the flash blinded me. He

  tapped on the phone screen and then smiled.

  He turned the phone so I could see the screen; there was a picture of my repulsive face and a message:

  Touch me again you little prick and I will make HER pay

  “No” I whispered as he pressed send to Johan.

  He laughed, stood up and brushed his hands down his suit then straightened his tie.

  “Keep your fucking mouth shut.” He demanded then stepped over me, I heard the front door slam and that’s when the tears came.