Consent_A #MeToo Romance

by Jason Letts

  It was Keenan holding Martin down and delivering a couple of blows to his stomach and face. But Keenan didn’t see Martin pull a screwdriver from a pocket and prepare to jab with it. I lunged over in time to block the motion with my arm. Keenan landed a right hook and Martin went limp in short order. Car horns were going off around where Keenan’s vehicle was blocking traffic. I felt the taste of blood in my mouth.

  Finally my eyes connected with Keenan’s. His fury like the night before was still there, but I could tell he was on my side. All I could do was lift my hand slightly to put it on his leg.

  “Stay awake,” he said as my eyelids started to drift.

  I wish there had been some magical moment where he lifted me into the air and we shared an earth-shattering kiss that changed the world forever, but I was so out of it that I didn’t even thank him until later. He stayed with me though even as he sat on Martin and made calls to the police, who came a short time later.

  As the sirens hit our ears, Martin had a sudden change of heart. His eyes welled up with tears as he struggled to look over his shoulder at Keenan and I.

  “Look, I’m sorry. You’ve got to help me. Can we tell them a story about how she fell or something, or that someone else who did it fled the scene? I can’t, I just can’t. I’ll do anything. I’ll leave the country today,” he pleaded.

  His pathetic groveling repulsed me even more. Keenan did a perfect job speaking for me.

  “You should’ve thought of that before, Martin. They’ll get you the help you need.”

  Keenan waved over the police when they arrived. Martin flashed us a vindictive snarl as they stuffed him into the back of the squad car, as if it were my fault he was going away. I knew too much to hope that I’d never see him again. Most likely I’d have to testify against him before he was sent back home.

  EMTs had come as well in an ambulance. Even though I felt like I could walk, they insisted on lifting me onto a stretcher and taking me away. I squeezed Keenan’s hand as he said he’d meet me at the ER.

  During the ride and between questions from the EMT’s checking my injuries, I had moments to think about how wrong it had all been, and not just the attack from Martin. I wished I’d been able to fight him off myself instead of needing to be saved. Feeling helpless and weak remained with me more powerfully than the pain. But this was the way life had gone. I did need to be saved this once, and the least I could do was try to comfort myself knowing that I’d managed to save Keenan the way that he needed to be saved beforehand. If we were even, that was OK.

  At the hospital, I met with a Doctor Li, who examined me and ordered some X-rays to be taken. She had a gentle, soothing voice and a warm smile. It took an hour until they moved me to a hospital room where I could be seen, with the plan being to keep me overnight until my eye recovered more and I was starting to feel like myself. It was good to know I hadn’t broken anything.

  Soon after a nurse came in to say that there were people here to see me, though Doctor Li would be coming by as well. I spotted Keenan approaching through the hallway, but I also saw my sister, Lindsay, Jamie, and Patrick in his arms as well. I took a deep breath, trying not to be overwhelmed that they were all coming at once.

  “Are you OK?” Lindsay asked, getting in the room first and coming straight over to me. I nodded, managing to at least exchange a grateful look to Keenan, who was content to hang back in the doorway.

  “I left work and we started coming as soon as we’d heard,” Jamie said. Patrick was entranced by all of the medical equipment and monitors around.

  “How did you hear about it so fast?” I asked, remembering that my phone had been smashed.

  “I got a Facebook message…‌from him,” Lindsay said, looking back at Keenan, who started to drift closer to the bed.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I let them know,” he said.

  “Of course not,” I said. From the way Lindsay and Jamie were glancing at him, it seemed like more in the way of an introduction was necessary. “This is Keenan Roche, my…‌boss.”

  “Her boyfriend,” he corrected me with a raised eyebrow. I nodded and felt like I was finally able to relax a little now that I was around people I cared about. But Lindsay managed to get increasingly worked up.

  “I’m just so incredibly sorry that something like this happened again. Thank goodness he was there to intervene. I can’t deal with having these things happen to you. It’s so flipping unfair,” she said, putting her forehead against a bare section of my forearm.

  Keenan released a deep sigh.

  “Tell me about it. I can’t help but feel responsible,” Keenan said. “I hired Martin, thought he was a decent guy. You think you know someone and then they go and do something like this. People like that don’t deserve any leniency.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said. Keenan looked askance and nodded before returning his eyes to me.

  “But I get what you were saying now. I was wrong to look at it like a conspiracy or the world out to get you. There are a lot of people who just aren’t able to control themselves, and those who can, even myself, just aren’t always thinking of the real effects of what we’re doing on the women around us.”

  Doctor Li came in carrying a clipboard. A nurse accompanied her holding some pain medication and a cup of water.

  “Oh, that reminds me, on the way in they wanted me to fill out all of this stuff about your insurance. I can’t believe hospitals don’t have concierges yet to take care of all of that. But I said I didn’t know anything and that they’d have to get it from you,” Lindsay said.

  I groaned a little louder than I meant to at the prospect of dealing with the logistics of a hospital visit. Eventually I cast a long look over at Keenan.

  “What kind of health insurance do I have?” I asked.

  Keenan sucked his teeth, scratched the back of his head, and grimaced.

  “You were still an independent contractor,” he said, shrugging. The thought of bearing the financial brunt of everything done at the hospital hit me harder than anything behind Martin’s fist. Jamie cleared his throat.

  “Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll cover everything,” he said. “Nothing’s more important than the health of Aunt Sarah. Just don’t expect too much at Christmas this year.”

  Lindsay put her arm around him and hugged him close. It was an incredible relief. It turned out I wasn’t the only one looking admiringly at Jamie.

  “We’re going to need to run some additional tests,” Doctor Li said quickly, her eyes growing wider. “There’s no telling what the assailant might’ve had and we don’t want to take any chances. We’ll need to test for Lyme Disease, rabies, tetanus, lycanthropy, salmonella poisoning, shingles, and cooties.”

  “Leave no stone unturned,” Jamie said. “Get her back in perfect health as soon as possible.”

  Lindsay rolled her eyes and put her hand over her face.

  A short while later Patrick started complaining about being hungry, forcing Lindsay and Jamie to take him out in search of something to eat. The doctor and nurse left as well, leaving me alone with Keenan, who sat down in the nearby chair and put one leg over the other.

  “You don’t have to stay all day. I know there’s a lot of work to do, and I’m sorry to be missing it.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “I mean, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay too much longer, but maybe I can at least sneak some lunch up here before going. But you shouldn’t trouble yourself thinking about work at all. We’ll survive until you get back.”

  I looked at my pale arms and the patient wristband I’d been given, not knowing how to say what I was feeling.

  “It was nice what you said…‌about understanding what I go through sometimes,” I said. Keenan scratched his neck.

  “I thought you were going to say you told me so and rub it in,” he said with a little smile, but this wasn’t something I could have any mirth for, especially not today.

  “No, it’s not something to gloat
over or celebrate when someone understands. All you can do is take solace in the chance to commiserate and hope that the pain of it all diminishes the further it spreads.”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes, and it was comforting having him around even though we weren’t saying anything. Keenan was someone I could relax with but also someone I could reflect with. Mostly I kept getting stuck on how I had frozen up at a critical moment.

  “I think I’m going to give counseling a try to see if I can really get past what happened to me,” I said. He nodded solemnly. “When…‌before, they had me do a few sessions with someone, but I was so wrapped up in trying to make my life what it was beforehand that I went through the motions and got out as soon as possible. I think if I stopped running from it I might be able to cope with it more instead of having it overwhelm me.”

  “Can’t hurt,” Keenan said, continuing to listen. I thought I’d once again reached the end of what was possible for his understanding. Knowing these things could and did happen was one thing, but then being able to know what to say to someone trying to come to terms with it was something else, something I’d have to do on my own. Still, I couldn’t deny that he’d done the best I could hope for.

  “Thank you for saving me,” I said at last.

  Although I’d gotten out of the hospital in the morning, I took the day for myself to arrange the start of my counseling, spend more time writing blog posts, and prepare to go into work the next day. My eye still had a massive bruise, but I wasn’t going to let Martin sidetrack my life any more than he had. We had a lot of important work to do, and Keenan needed my help.

  Lena displayed a remarkable amount of control when she saw me. The others couldn’t help but stare a little, but I took it in stride. Of course they all knew that something had happened, but we spared them the details. It was possible they’d be able to sleuth it out of the newspapers with enough effort, but I wasn’t going to get bent out of shape about it if they did. I just didn’t want to talk about it, preferring to dive back into my job.

  It turned out that our advertising push had begun to lose some of its potency, which put some anxiety back in Keenan as he wondered if my plans to hire a bunch more people was going to be a mistake. I interviewed three candidates that morning for a data analyst position that we might never end up filling.

  “What else could we be doing?” Keenan grumbled in my office after the last applicant left.

  “There are going to be slow days,” I said. “You know as well as I do that we can change up the targeting, try some new copy, maybe get some testimonials from our current clients and set up a referral program for them to get a benefit if they can get other businesses to work with us.”

  Keenan looked over his shoulder at the pod of employees we currently had. His lips twitched a little and I could see him resisting the temptation to do something rash.

  Just then the elevators doors opened up with an accompanying chime.

  “I thought you said you didn’t have any more interviews today,” he said.

  “I did.”

  We turned to look and saw three men in suits step into the hall and turn in our direction. Without thinking I got up from my chair and followed Keenan onto the floor and down the aisle toward them. It was the three Chrises from Mana Foundries, who must’ve come all the way from Providence. Recognizing them sent the best kind of jolt through me. This had to be good.

  “Welcome, gentlemen. This is a surprise,” Keenan said, shaking their hands. I waved from behind him, my bruise spurring some concerned looks. But my face wasn’t the only thing that seemed to make them hesitate.

  “Good to be here, but where is everyone?” The lead Chris tried to keep his voice down, but everyone was aware of their entrance and couldn’t help but hear. Keenan had a reassuring smile for them.

  “We’ve got some people in training, some people working remotely,” he said, adding over his shoulder to me with little more than his lips moving. “Hire them all.”

  Chris number one shared nods with the other two.

  “Well, that’s good, because we’ve decided to give you guys a shot,” he said as a smile cracked across his lips that instantly spread to everyone in the room. Keenan clapped his hands.

  “That’s fantastic. We can get started right away. Can I ask what made you come around? I thought you were pretty firm in your refusal before, which I’m glad you changed your mind about.”

  Chris raised his eyebrows and put up his hands.

  “We didn’t change our minds for nothing. Actually we started seeing the ads, and not just yours either, though those did pop up in front of us regularly. Some of the folks you’ve been helping appeared too, and lo and behold we struck a deal with a janitorial service because of it. I asked them how they got into digital marketing and they said they were working with you and seeing amazing results with it,” he said.

  “I hate feeling like we’re missing the boat on something,” another Chris said.

  “We’re ready to see what you can do. That could’ve been said easily enough on the phone, but after you came all the way over I figured we could do the same,” the first Chris added, extending a hand. They shook again.

  Even though I was mostly behind Keenan, I could tell he was ready to float off of the floor. I was feeling pretty euphoric as well. This swept away any last bit of unease about the footing of the company and made it a certainty that we were going to need more bodies on deck and fast.

  Since the Chrises had come all this way, we treated them to lunch and spent some time reviewing the plans we’d made, as well as introducing them to the other staff members present. It wasn’t until the middle of the afternoon that they left and then a short while after that until Keenan and I were in his office with the door closed.

  “We’re back!” He threw his hands in the air.

  I came in to give him as tight a hug as I could. We’d come a long way from that dark day when everyone had been told to stay home.

  “We just had to believe,” I said.

  “I’m not going to miss my chance this time,” he said. “We’ve got Mana Foundries, and we’re going to find more companies doing things the right way and help them grow. It’s starting to look like losing Connoisaurus was a blessing. The bad clients, the bad staff, they’re all gone now. And you’re still here. I’m so glad about that.”

  His arms were wrapped tightly enough around me to feel his warmth and notice his scent. I didn’t want him to let me go.

  In the week that followed, Keenan showed an incredible amount of control. He knew that what I’d been through made me extremely sensitive about being touched, and he never once put the slightest bit of pressure on me to do anything I wasn’t ready to take the lead on. But more than that I couldn’t have asked for a kinder soul to be with me during such an emotional time. There were times when I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide, even some times when I got angry or cried for no reason. Nothing fazed him. He gave me space when I needed it, patience when I needed it, and a shoulder to cry on when I needed it.

  The only downside of him being so nice to me was that it ended up leaving me thinking of how furious he got at the restaurant and all of the things Chelsea and Cassie had seen him do. By now I had learned quite enough about Chelsea to be suspicious of everything she’d ever said, and Cassie’s motives were anybody’s guess, but I had to know for sure if there was any truth to it.

  One night I was sitting with Keenan on his couch, watching episodes of Friends, enjoying a neck massage that was heavenly, when the echoes of their warnings came back to me again.

  “I picked up a carton of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge. Do you want me to get you a bowl?” His questions were always innocent and friendly sounding, making it even harder to say something about them without feeling like I was going to offend him, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I notice you offer me food a lot,” I said, shrugging his hand off my neck while trying to be friendly about it. “To be honest it makes me
a little uncomfortable, like there’s a hint that I can’t control my own eating. I know that’s not what you mean, but that’s how I feel when you do it.”

  “Oh, of course, forget it then,” he said, but it didn’t stop there. “Just sometimes it seems like you pick at your food during meals or go without lunch because of work. I didn’t think it would hurt to try to make up for it some.”

  I nodded awkwardly, already feeling like this conversation about food was a proxy for what I really wanted to talk to him about.

  “I’m asking you to please stop. If you could go ahead and eat whatever and whenever you want to eat, and I can let you know if I’d like some, that would be best. Please don’t take it personally,” I said.

  Keenan looked at me for a moment before putting his arm along the top of the couch in a relaxed pose.

  “I’m sorry about that. Let’s do it your way,” he said. With his arm out, I knew it was an invitation for me to put my head against his strong shoulder and chest, but I had to work up the courage to say what was on my mind. He’d been nice about the food, but there was no guarantee this would go the same way.

  We spent a few minutes watching Phoebe try to break up with Paul Rudd before I exhaled a deep sigh, turning to look at him again.

  “Have you ever yelled at a woman?”

  Keenan leaned forward and squinted at me a bit. He cleared his throat and scratched his neck.

  “You did see me arguing with the woman at the restaurant, but I get the impression that’s not what you’re asking about.”

  I took a deep breath to work through the best way to phrase it, trying not to give away how much I wanted him to answer correctly. Deep down I knew that as much as I liked him and would hate to go a day without seeing his ruffled light-brown hair, the first time he yelled at me would be the last time we would be together.