by Lena Hart
“I’m not ’posed to do that either.”
“Why not?”
“I dunno. Mommy said I’m ’posed to just sit still and watch TV, but I hate it here. It smells like dirt.”
Nate didn’t know how to respond to that—or what to make of this unusual conversation. He wasn’t used to dealing with kids or talking to them. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had been around one.
“Please don’t tell Mommy,” Mikey whispered.
“All right,” Nate assured him. “But when your mom gets finished with her bath, tell her I called. Okay? Can you remember that?”
“Yes, I’m good at remembering.”
“Excellent. I’ll talk to you later, Mikey.”
“Okay, bye!”
When Nate hung up the phone, he realized he hadn’t given the boy his name. It didn’t matter. Mia would probably see his number and know it was him calling. But the fantasy of having a private dinner together came to a bitter halt, along with his hopes of anything else happening tonight. Not that he had any expectations, but he couldn’t help thinking up a few ways they could have ended the night. One being with her at his place. That fantasy certainly wasn’t going to happen now—not with a kid around.
Do you care about me enough to want a family?
Those words echoed in Nate’s head, coming flittering from a past he had worked hard to forget. Memories of what he could remember from that night flashed in fragments in his mind. Though it had nearly killed him to walk out on her that night, he had refused to be forced into something he wasn’t ready for. Ultimately that had been the end of something he had never found again.
What if I got pregnant?
A sudden cold chill ran down his spine as another memory echoed in his head. He remembered her solemn, yet determined eyes, the way she had wrapped her arms around her middle as if she was protecting…
Nate bolted to his feet with a vicious curse, sending his executive chair crashing to the ground. It couldn’t be! Mia wouldn’t do that to him. She wouldn’t keep something like this from him. She wouldn’t.
Yet the pieces started to fit and things started to become clearer. She had tried to wrench a long-term commitment from him and when he refused, she had ended them. Suddenly Nate knew, with every fiber of his being, the little boy he had spoken to moments ago was his son.
A flood of emotions began hurtling through him. Disbelief and rage battled for the lead, as shock tailed closely behind, followed by bitter resentment. Why, he thought savagely. Why wouldn’t she tell me this?
Nate’s fists clenched and unclenched. It took him a moment, but he managed to rein in his anger. Once he could think rationally, he rushed out of the office. He wasn’t going to wait any longer. Five years? He had waited long enough.
“Mikey, honey, who are you talking to?” Mia stepped out of the bathroom and glanced over at her son sitting on the double bed. She could have sworn she’d heard muffled voices coming from the room. At first, she thought it was the television, but she recognized her son’s voice.
Mikey rushed to hide his hand behind his back and looked down. Mia walked over to the bed.
“Give it to me,” she demanded, holding out her hand.
Mikey handed her the cell phone, still avoiding her gaze. She grabbed the phone from his small hand.
“Mikey, look at me. What did I tell you about playing with my phone?”
“That it’s not a toy,” he mumbled quietly.
“And?”
“And it’s for emergencies only.” He stared up at her earnestly before adding, “But it was an emergency, Mommy. I was bored to death!”
Mia sighed. “Where are your toys?”
Mikey shrugged his little shoulders. She went to their bags lying open on the second double bed and realized she’d left the small bag of toys in the car. Well, she wouldn’t bother with it now.
It had been a long, exhausting drive to Chicago, which included the stop she’d made so they could eat and stretch their legs. Once they made it into the city, Mikey became moody from the long drive and Mia just wanted to collapse. The hard, springy hotel bed, however, was not inviting. Actually, nothing in the drafty motel room was welcoming. She managed to overlook the dingy walls and furniture while she sanitized the small hotel room and bathroom as best she could.
With a bath and light snack, her son had lost his tantrum and she had finally been able to indulge in a nice long shower.
The thought of calling Nate had crossed her mind and was still tempting, but she wasn’t prepared to face him tonight. She would do it tomorrow, when she got some sleep and her nerves had settled some.
Mia replayed the scenario in her head for the umpteenth time and still couldn’t think of a way to approach him. She couldn’t just blurt out—“Hi Nate, this is Mikey. Your four-year-old son. Oh, and by the way, we need money.”
Mia scoffed and shook her head. Then again, maybe I should call him right now and get it over with.
As if on cue, her cell phone rang. It was Nate.
Instead of the cool, light-heartedness she had received last night, he was curt and abrupt. “What room are you in?”
Mia frowned. “What?”
“I’m at the motel,” he said, a hard edge in his voice.
Mia’s stomach dropped. Panic seized her and she stood frozen in the middle of the room. She was not prepared for this, but she had no doubt that he would bang on every door until he found her.
“What room are you staying in?”
Mia hesitated for the briefest of moments. “Room 238.”
“I’m coming up.”
He ended the call before she had a chance to say anything else.
“Mommy, I almost forgot,” Mikey said, jarring her out of her trance. “A man called for you.”
Mia turned to her son who was now using the hotel pens and notepad to draw with.
“What man?” Deep down, though, Mia knew. Nate’s sudden presence couldn’t be a coincidence.
Mikey shrugged as a hard knock came at the motel door. They both stared toward the direction of the sound. Mia walked to the door, each step as heavy as the beating of her heart.
“Who is it?” She felt like a fool for asking. She knew who stood behind that door.
“It’s me.” Nate’s muffled voice held an edge that immediately had her draw her back up. She opened the door and was unnerved by her reaction to him.
Nate had always been handsome, but now that didn’t seem adequate to describe him. His hard jaw and sensual lips were set in stern, stubborn lines and his rich, dark brown hair was cut stylishly. His tall, once lean, frame was broader than she remembered and was covered in dark slacks, a silk button-down shirt, and dark blazer.
She didn’t miss the way his dark, deep-set eyes ran down the length of her. Her face flushed at the heated once-over. The man standing before her, filling the doorway appeared untouchable. No, he was too striking for mere handsomeness.
“May I come in?”
His low whisper held all the seductive qualities she remembered. She slightly shook her head, breaking the hypnotic spell she found herself under. She steeled herself against the cosmic effect he still had on her. This time, she had to make sure her heart was protected from him.
Without a word, Mia stepped back to let him in. The motel room wasn’t spacious and with his presence, it appeared even less so.
Nate stopped in the middle of the room and stared down at their son, who was also looking up at him with newfound curiosity.
Mia didn’t know what to say to break the heavy silence as father and son stared at each other, but the tension was killing her.
“Mikey, baby, come say hi.”
He scrambled off the bed and walked toward them. Mikey wasn’t normally shy, but for some reason, he wasn’t exhibiting his usual brazenness. When he stood directly in front of Nate, he held out his small hand. “Hi mister,” he murmured.
Mia’s heart broke a little at the awkward situation she had plac
ed them in. This is my fault. A son should know his father, but because of her selfishness, her son was now greeting his father like a stranger.
With a gentle smile, Nate crouched down and took the small hand offered to him. “Hi Mikey. We spoke on the phone earlier. You remember?”
Mikey nodded.
Nate leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Mia couldn’t hear what he was saying but she picked up something about dirt. Whatever it was, it made her son scrunch his face and nod. “I told you,” Mikey said, giggling.
“Yes you did,” Nate agreed, his eyes softening as he regarded their son. “Why don’t you go finish drawing while I talk to your mom?”
Nate rose to his full height as Mikey ran back to the bed.
“How old is he?”
Mia didn’t look at him when she replied, “He turned four this January.”
Nate continued watching Mikey then said in a deceptively mild tone, “He’s mine, isn’t he.”
It was more a statement than a question. He turned to face her when she didn’t respond and she was taken aback by the rage and…hurt that simmered in his dark eyes. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do, that would soothe those raw feelings.
She simply looked back at their son and nodded.
7
His son.
Nate’s heart twisted as he looked at the little boy whose small features were a unique blend of his and Mia’s. Mikey had her wide eyes and the McArthur stubborn chin, though it was soft with youth.
Nate had used the time during his drive here to get his shock and temper under control, but he was still reeling with the realization that he was a father. He turned his attention to Mia who stood beside him, carefully avoiding his gaze. She looked beautifully tragic with her hair pulled back in a loose bun at her nape, her large dark eyes eclipsing her smooth, angular face. Even in her simple gray skirt and white cami, his sexual attraction to her was unwavering. Motherhood had filled her out nicely.
Even now, with all her lies and secrets, he still wanted her.
Right now wasn’t the time to think about that, however. They needed to talk but first he needed to get them out of this shitty motel room.
“Get your things,” he said curtly.
“Why?”
He moved closer to her and said in a low voice so Mikey wouldn’t overhear. “I said, get your things. You two aren’t staying here tonight.”
Her eyes widened in surprise then she swiftly glanced away. “Look, I know there’s a lot for us to discuss but—”
“You’ve got that right,” he snapped. “And tonight we’re going to, just not in this shithole.” He read the protest in her eyes and stopped her before she could say anything else. His patience was already stretched thin. “Don’t argue with me right now,” he said through gritted teeth. “Just get your things.”
An hour later, they finally made it to his high-rise apartment. Mia had forgotten how terrible the traffic was in Chicago, especially on a Friday night. She now carried a sleeping Mikey into the condo as Nate brought in their bags. When he turned on the lights, Mia was stunned by the luxury that greeted her. The high ceilings and rich, dark wood floors held beautifully decorated artwork with modern furniture that was as untouchable as the man who owned them. The abstract artwork decorating the white walls resembled something out of an art gallery but they complimented the stylish, elegant decor. Large windows at the far end of the spacious apartment overlooked the city and added to the condo’s grandeur. From the large windows, the sun painted the sky in a dark orange glow as dusk began to descend.
Mia had only been to his apartment once while they were dating, but this was certainly new. Nate had been careful in keeping a casual, rather modest appearance around her. Now looking at him, there was nothing casual about the tall, composed man standing beside her.
Uncertainty ate at her as she realized, for the first time, how far outside her domain she was. How could she just come out and ask for money without looking like…an opportunist? She immediately quelled the feeling. It was too late to turn back. She came here for a purpose and would see it through.
Her sleeping son began to weigh heavily on her tired arms and Mia turned to Nate who had been silently watching her survey his apartment.
“Where can I put him?” she asked in a low voice.
Nate nodded behind her. “There’s a guest room in the back,” he said, also keeping his voice low. “Come on, I’ll show you.”
Mia followed him down the hall to the first door on the left. It was a small, simple bedroom with a single bed, nightstand, and dresser. Nate turned on the lamp and she gently placed Mikey on the bed. He didn’t stir once. She changed him into his pajamas and sat beside him on the bed, rubbing his back. Mikey was normally a heavy sleeper, but the drive had been especially wearing for him. She, herself, was exhausted but still had a long night ahead of her. She tried to put it off by hiding out in here with her son but with the determined look on Nate’s face that wasn’t going to happen.
“Is he okay?”
Mia turned around to find Nate standing by the door. He had removed his blazer and stood there, looking completely relaxed with the first two buttons of his pale blue shirt undone. She nodded, glancing back down at their sleeping son.
“He’s just tired. We’ve had a long drive.”
Nate walked slowly into the room and looked down at Mikey with gentle, yet watchful eyes. The look on his hard face tugged at her heart. Confusion and guilt began to shape in her. I should have told him.
“Come on,” he whispered, holding out his hand to her. “It’s time we talked.”
Mia let out a ragged breath. She didn’t want go anywhere with him. Not out of fear, because she knew in her heart he would never become violent with her, but his nearness was too much for her frayed emotions. She was too tired to resurrect any mental or emotional defenses against him tonight.
He was angry, that much was clear, even though he tried to hide it behind cool, unreadable eyes. She didn’t have the energy to deal with a heated confrontation tonight. Yet he deserved some answers, and from his unwavering stance, he wouldn’t be put off.
Mia sent another glance down at Mikey then let out a small sigh. She placed her hand in his and he immediately closed his fingers around hers, pulling her off the bed. He led them into the living room and Mia concentrated on everything but the warm, rough hand that held hers.
When they neared the sofa, she immediately pulled away from him though her hand still tingled where he’d touched. She took the nearest seat, keeping her eyes averted as she willed her nerves to settle.
He said nothing as he sat across from her and ran his hand through his hair repeatedly, an indication of his own agitation.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Despite his cool, steady gaze, his voice was harsh and grating. His angry confusion only intensified her mounting guilt.
“I should have,” she said quietly. “But then, I didn’t think it would have made a difference.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? Of course it would have made a damn difference.”
“You said you didn’t want kids, remember? And I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want me or my child.” Mia looked down at her hands, unnerved by the intensity in his dark eyes. “I figured I’d let you off the hook.”
After a short, painful silence, he asked, “So what’s changed? Why tell me now?”
Is that all he has to say?
Well, what did you expect him to say? Another voice chided her fiercely. That he hadn’t meant what he’d said? That, if he could do it all over again, he would marry her and make them a big, happy family?
Mia shook her head, disgusted with herself. Despite her cold encounter with reality, she was still a romantic fool. She took a deep, shaky breath and gave herself a hard, mental shake.
“I’m here because I need your help.”
Mia went on to tell him about the upcoming foreclosure and the limited time frame
in which she had to make the payment.
“How much is owed?” he asked when she finished, his expression even more stoic, more unreadable.
She told him the amount. He didn’t even bat an eye. The amount she was asking from him would cover the mortgage and take care of Mikey for the next twelve months, while she looked for permanent work. And she told him all this, wanting to be completely transparent with him.
“The last thing I wanted was to come to you for this,” she continued. “But I had nowhere else to turn. You’re my last resort in making sure Mikey has a home and I promise you’ll never hear from me again.” She fell silent. It was hard being in this position and his cold, silent regard wasn’t making it any easier.
Nate leaned forward in his seat, holding her gaze with his. “Tell me,” he began softly. “If you didn’t need the money, would you have ever told me about him?”
Mia didn’t know how to answer him. She looked down at her hands, not knowing how to respond. She wanted to think she eventually would have, but she had been so caught up with her own emotional turmoil, wanting nothing to do with him, she couldn’t be sure.
He sat back in his seat. “I guess I have my answer.”
Her eyes flew up to his. “Nate, I’m not here for child support if that’s what you’re thinking.”
His eyes flashed. For a second, there was a rage and pain in them that even he couldn’t conceal. She had to look away.
“You’ve made it clear why you’re here, but that doesn’t matter to me right now. What matters is that I have a four-year-old son who doesn’t even know who I am.”
Mia was already consumed with guilt. She didn’t need Nate making her feel worse than she already did. Yes, she should have told him about Mikey, but how dare he pretend as if being a father had mattered to him before.
“Don’t you dare make me out to be the bad guy here,” she said sharply. “You didn’t want the responsibility and I wasn’t going to force you into it. I’m not gonna have my child feeling abandoned.” Like you made me feel after you left. Those words, however, were kept hidden in the deepest, darkest part of her.