Undone By Destiny

by Allyson Young

  Faint breathing crackled over the phone. “It’s possible.”

  At least Marlene wasn’t downplaying the possibility, but that was likely because of her own abilities. “I screwed up, being all hurt and angry. He was following his heart and I ruined it for him. And I ended up with someone who settled.” She choked on a scalding burst of laughter. “Karma.”

  “Then you’ll have to make the best of it.”

  “On it, Mom. Oh, and I’m pregnant so you get to be a grandmother again.” She knew it irked Marlene to feel her age, though she loved Lizbeth and Gareth’s pups to bits, not to mention River and Jett’s.

  “That’s wonderful, Desi.” Her mother’s voice rang with sincerity.

  “Yeah, well, I always wanted kids.”

  “You’ll be a great mother. Just try not to follow my example too closely.”

  “I won’t.” At her mother’s huff, she smiled. “Kidding. Uh, Mom? Do you ever have visions?”

  “You know I do. What’s this about?”

  “I’m talking visions about someone you know. With you in them.”

  “No. Not like that. Why?”

  “I think I had one, although it might just have been because I was so upset.” That’s what it was, she decided. “Probably my temper giving me fits.”

  “Could be,” her mother said, caution evident in her tone. “What was it about?”

  “Killing Tahl.”

  “Desiree!”

  “I told you I was angry.”

  “Then that’s probably what it was, a visual manifestation of your fury.”

  “Probably?” Maybe she should be concerned. It was one thing to jinx someone with a comment, quite another to act on one herself. She’d never…

  With an exasperated sigh, Marlene said, “Pay attention, Desi. And call me if you have one again.”

  “The way he and I relate, I expect I’ll experience several,” she said drily.

  “Honey, I’m sorry. Sometimes I wish I’d never met your father. Or Jett’s.”

  “Well, you’re on your own now, Mom. Are you happy?”

  “Not especially. But I’m not getting involved again. And I’m not talking about that part of my life with my youngest daughter.”

  On a sigh, she said, “Sure. See you when I see you.”

  She set the cordless back in the charger and made herself get up and head out. She armed the system and locked the door, glad she’d at least talked to her mom on the phone, even if she hadn’t eased her mind much. The Fae blood had manifested in different ways in all of Marlene’s children, but Desi felt cursed.

  Keeping it a secret wasn’t easy, but her mother was afraid of someone using her as a weapon. Marlene wasn’t inclined to write all of the events off as coincidences. She smiled now at the thought, a bitter grimace. Anyone who tried to force her to use her so-called ability would be treated to their own punishment.

  True to his word, Tahl was at home and preparing their evening meal. With a wince, she recalled her promise to pick up groceries. In all the furor, she’d missed lunch too, and her coffee was a bare memory, so the smell of roasting chicken made her belly rumble.

  “Smells great.”

  “Thanks. I put it in the oven a few minutes ago. It’ll be ready in an hour or so.” He kept his distance, not that she expected anything else.

  “I’ll do the shopping tomorrow.”

  “Good.” He headed down the hall and let himself into that locked room, so she retreated to the spare bedroom.

  Changing back into her yoga pants and top, she again forewent a bra. Her phone had been in the console of her car, dead as a doornail, so she located her spare charger and plugged it in, doing the same with her laptop. Did making the best of it mean she should go out and clean up and set the table?

  Reluctant to leave the relative sanctuary of the room, she sank down on the bed and studied her bare feet, making a mental note to schedule a mani-pedi. She was hopeless, and no doubt Tahl was busily regretting his impulsive act.

  On a whim, she called River, her tethered phone seriously hampering her movements. Jett answered and advised her his mate was sleeping.

  “How sick is she?” Surely when she’d wished for people to leave her alone, she hadn’t visited this on her sister-in-law’s head? It made her dizzy, knowing she couldn’t police her thoughts. Watching her mouth was difficult enough.

  “She’s tired. The doctor was by and isn’t concerned.” Jett sounded frustrated. “Shifters aren’t supposed to endure morning sickness. It’s a rarity. But leave it to River to be different.”

  “How long has she been dealing with it?”

  “Weeks.”

  So, not her then. The relief made her weak and she swayed, catching her balance against the dresser. Thinking it, wishing it, didn’t make it happen. “But she’ll be okay.”

  “She will.” His voice was firm. “Uh, Desi? As Alpha I officially approve, as your brother, well, I’m sorry.”

  “For what? Following tradition?” Okay, she was still pissed at him.

  “That, and assuming.”

  “Assuming?”

  “That you’re still ass over heels for Tahl. If I’m wrong I apologize, despite the fact he’ll be good to you. I seriously couldn’t have chosen a better male.”

  “I can’t talk to you about this, Jett. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive you, either.” She swallowed a sob and glanced at the closed door. With Tahl behind another such barrier, her privacy should be guaranteed, but she pressed the phone closer to her ear.

  “Don’t you cry, little sister. Just don’t.” He’d never been able to cope when she wept, probably because she did it so infrequently.

  For the second time that day, she unveiled the elephant, although not in the same manner as with her mother. Though Jett would understand. It was simply that she didn’t want anyone else to know what she might be capable of. They’d run far and fast.

  Nearly whispering, she said, “He wanted Peyton. And for whatever reason, settled for me. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and I’m gonna need a whole lot of time to adjust, if ever. If you know of a way of breaking a mated bond, now’s the time to throw out that secret.”

  “Desi, I want you to listen to me. I’m not going to elaborate, so don’t ask, but you listen. Tahl was fooled. He didn’t actually want Peyton Leaf. And he didn’t settle for you. He counted himself fortunate that you hadn’t made a commitment to another male when he returned. Fucking fortunate.”

  She opened her mouth to probe and then closed it again. There was a mystery there, but Jett wasn’t going to share it. She recognized that tone. “Okay.”

  “You don’t believe me. You don’t believe Tahl. Are you planning to let your pride fuck up what could be a great connection? Like what River and I have? Lizbeth and Gareth?”

  “It’s not only my pride,” she said.

  “What does that mean?”

  “There’s some things I can’t tell you either, big brother.” Like the terror of failing to guard my mouth adequately where you and yours are concerned these past few years and inadvertently changing your future.

  “Desi.”

  “Sorry. Gotta go. My love to River and the kids.” She hardly felt childish at all, in not including him in the good wishes.

  Chapter Seven

  Another shared meal interspersed with awkward silences, and Desi wondered if it was incumbent on her to make the first move.

  “I’ll have to make a doctor’s appointment in a couple of weeks or so.”

  The knife he was using to efficiently slice through a piece of dark meat paused infinitesimally before it lightly scraped the plate. Tahl fixed his gaze on hers. “Probably a good idea.”

  Unable to read him, she nodded and went back to pushing food around. It seemed they were slated to meet only at mealtimes—and in his bed. Saddened, but unable to see her way clear, she let the silence roll out.

  When he stood to clear their plates, she took the opportunity to hurriedly put away everyt
hing else, busy work, and then escaped to her makeshift office with a mumbled excuse. Her cell was vibrating and she grabbed for it as though it was a lifeline.

  “Desi?”

  River. “Hey. How are you?”

  “Over whatever it was, I think. This is the last pup.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. Three is enough unless this pregnancy goes significantly easier for the remainder of my term.”

  They discussed being pregnant, and raising children for a few minutes, with Desi steadfastly steering the conversation away from labor and delivery. Her left hand kept straying to her belly and she finally allowed it to rest there in a silent blessing.

  “How’s it going with Tahl?”

  “It’s going.” Nowhere.

  “Are you … sleeping with him?”

  Buying time, she teased, “River. Are we going to share dirty details?”

  “No! I’m sorry. I thought… It’s just that I remember how you talked about exploring your … fantasies, and all. I guess I hoped you might find a middle ground with him.”

  She had blithered on to River about precisely that thing, way back when, and hectic color heated her face. She avoided the question. “I don’t want to.”

  “Uh, you don’t want to tell me? Or—”

  “I don’t want to sleep with him.”

  “Oh. Well, okay, I guess. You won’t have to for a long time, seeing as you’re pregnant. But I guess I’m worried. Jett said you were really unhappy. And that you hate him.”

  “I feel betrayed, River. My own brother and his damn tradition. Shifter destiny. I don’t hate him. I just need some time.”

  “Well, don’t be a stranger, okay?”

  “I won’t,” she promised.

  Flopping on the bed, she stared at the ceiling. Maybe River was right. If she had to share space with Tahl, she might as well—what was she thinking? Might as well tie her life up in a nice little package and risk having it shredded, like her heart.

  With a sigh, she rolled to a seated position. She didn’t feel like working, was in fact caught up, and it wasn’t like she’d be able to concentrate. Reaching for her ereader, she tapped through until she found a suspenseful romance. The words blurred and she set the device aside in exasperation.

  Normally, at home, she’d watch a little television. Tahl must be in that locked room—she’d come to the conclusion it was his office, so now they both had a place to hide out in. Well, she was hiding. Tahl was likely doing whatever her brother’s lieutenant did for the pack. Grimacing at her flippancy, she accepted that he was indeed Jett’s right-hand man, respected and an asset.

  She flinched, remembering his disappointment regarding her premature announcement of their affiliation. Her mother should be organizing a party like she’d done for Jett and River once her sister-in-law had recovered from the rogue shifter attack. And after Jett pulled his head out of his ass regarding his true feelings for River.

  Desi didn’t want a party, although it would go a long way to smoothing ruffled feathers and ease Tahl’s obvious pain. Not that she cared if he was hurting. Except she did. She had to make the best of this and an armed détente wasn’t the best plan after all.

  Considering her passionate outbursts, she twisted her lips in a rueful grimace. Setting aside her pride—and her anxiety—for the time being, she went in search of her mate. She scanned the living area and passed through the kitchen, ending up in front of the slightly ajar door of his office.

  In truth, she’d followed her ears. Tahl was speaking in low tones and in getting closer, she understood he was talking about her. Or at least, their relationship.

  “We’ll present a united front to the pack, Alpha. Desi isn’t stupid, regardless of how she feels about me. She is fully aware of keeping up appearances.” A pause, and then, “I have no idea what else precludes her from giving me a chance. None. But then we aren’t talking. We’re either painfully polite or arguing.”

  At least he didn’t tell her brother he’d managed to seduce her or tout their sexual connection. Having heard enough, she rapped sharply on the wooden panel.

  “Gotta go.”

  She heard a chair creak and his quiet footsteps, so forced a smile on her face as the door opened.

  “Hey.” He looked tired, faint circles beneath his emerald eyes and strain etched around his mouth. Her palm itched with the need to rest on his cheek, maybe soothe those fine lines with her fingertips.

  He didn’t invite her into his domain, blocking the door with his bulk, so she retreated to rest her back against the wall. “Marlene won’t be home for a while, so I thought we might organize a party.”

  His stare didn’t waver, though she looked for any softening there. “We could do that.”

  Well, she didn’t expect him to jump up and down, but hoped for a bit of enthusiasm, seeing as she was offering an olive branch. “Only if you want.”

  “Why don’t you and River figure out a venue, make up an invitation list—”

  “Sure.” She didn’t care if he didn’t. “I’ll get on it.”

  “Desi.” She kept walking. “Desi.”

  “It’s fine, Tahl. Go back to what you were doing,” she called over her shoulder.

  The door shut quietly, and she told herself it was his loss. At least she’d made the effort and now it was back to being a good roommate.

  Snagging the laundry hamper, she sorted their clothes, and sorted the whites from the darks, all the while concentrating on the task at hand. Starting a load, she hauled one of her boxes up onto the table and flipped open the lid.

  She took her time situating her things, careful not to move anything of Tahl’s, standing back to view the placement with a critical eye. Switching out the clothes into the dryer and shoving the rest into the washer, she worked quietly to empty the rest of the boxes.

  The only place she didn’t put anything was Tahl’s bedroom. Common space was one thing, but she was loath to put her stamp on such a personal place.

  Breaking down the boxes, she set them on the back porch, and checked for the recycling day, consulting the chart on the fridge. She retrieved the items from the dryer and folded them while the remaining clothes dried. The tasks were comfortingly familiar, although gave her too much time to think.

  Her thoughts whirled and coalesced, but she came up with the same conclusion, over and over. Tahl could never find out she’d ruined his chance at happiness and a true mate and she’d have to carry on as best she could. She retained enough of her pride to decide to withhold her heart at all costs. She didn’t trust him with it, in any event.

  ****

  Listening to the faint sounds as Desi moved around the house, Tahl finally gave up on perusing the latest information coming out on the illicit drugs targeting the shifter population. The outbreak appeared to be contained, but his Alpha had tasked him with monitoring it. Tucking the files away, he locked the desk drawer, debating how he should proceed with Desiree.

  He knew he’d fucked up with his indifferent response when Desi raised the party issue, but he hadn’t been able to get past the obvious separation she’d established by prematurely sharing their union. It made a mockery of everything he’d hoped for. Scoffing, he accepted his own actions had brought most of it down on his head.

  He’d also been puzzled by Jett’s comment, his Alpha reaching out in a phone call. What was Desiree hiding, something as equally potent as her pride, that it would stand in the way of her making a concentrated effort in their union? Whatever it was, he doubted she’d share it, at least not anytime soon.

  The walls closed in and he felt his office was more a cell than a place of work. He moved to the window and winched the blinds upward, looking out into the night. Nothing moved, the relatively tranquil back yard barely visible in the discreet lighting. He’d installed motion detectors to supplement the security system in the house, something especially important now he had a mate to protect as well as his unborn child.

  He’d talk with h
er about the doctor visits, he decided. Plan to attend each and every one. If they could connect over anything, and enhance their pair bond, it would be over the pup. His wolf rolled over and made another suggestion, and despite his earlier despair, he couldn’t disagree. The physical need for Desi simmered and he knew she wasn’t immune to the same draw.

  Exiting the office, locking up behind him, he paced down the hall, sniffing the fresh scents of laundry soap and bleach. One light burned dimly in the direction of the living area and he strode toward it, casting a glance into the master bedroom. It lay in darkness, but he made out the shrouded form of his mate curled up on the bed.

  He continued to the kitchen and drew a glass of water from the tap, drinking it down. The clock in the other room ticked over, and the house settled, as if for the night. Girding his mental loins, he set the glass in the sink and headed for bed, clicking off the lamp Desi had left on for him. The little gesture was reassuring, and it reminded him of the female he’d grown up around.

  It was doubtful she was asleep. Her body screamed tension, and he longed for the day when she’d be relaxed in his bed. Their bed. He’d purchased the colossal king upon his return from Dawnfall, sleeping alone each and every night for what felt like an eternity as she avoided him.

  Stripping off, he tossed his clothes over a convenient chair and slid beneath the covers. There was an acre of space between them, something he resolved to deal with, both literally and figuratively. Starting now. He rolled over and dropped an arm around her waist. She stiffened but didn’t demur.

  “We’ll talk about the party in the morning, baby.” He tucked her up against him, his body instantly hardening. The silky stuff of the gown she wore slipped erotically against his heated skin.

  “Sure.” Her muffled response was hardly wholehearted, but at least she answered.

  Splaying a hand over her hip, he stroked the curved flesh gently, his rough skin prickling over her nightwear. He allowed his breath to stir through her hair, making no attempt to hide his throbbing erection. It took a long time for her to relax, and then only to lift into his touch.

  Her fragrant arousal signaled, and he eased away, drawing her along with him to sprawl on her back. Planting a knee on either side of her, he tugged her nightgown up, pleased that she facilitated his efforts, and drew it over her head. Even in the near dark, her long, slender form gleamed and his breath caught.