Landslide

by Jenn Cooksey

  “And thank you for not dying,” Luz said, her features growing stern. “When I saw it on the news . . .” She trailed off and took a quick sip of her beer. I wasn’t used to her acting emotional and it was throwing me off. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.”

  I gave her a look. “I’m not exactly okay. I am a bit banged up.”

  “But you’re here now with us,” Dominga said. “And that’s something.”

  I nodded. It was true. I really had no right to complain about the fact that I would be off work for at least another month. I was going on disability, but even with the airline funding it, that didn’t equal the full amount of pay I would normally receive. I was going to be on a budget for the next month as my bones healed. And because I wouldn’t be able to do my yoga or pilates or go for my daily runs, I was going to be bored out of my mind.

  But it could have been worse. I know that in my life, the worst possible thing was always lurking in the background, ready to strike.

  I turned my attention to the bar. I was ready to be distracted, and a man was usually pretty good for that. Unfortunately there weren’t a lot of men here to do a good enough job. I wasn’t even that picky, I just wanted someone that made my head turn, my heart skip a few beats, my thighs squeeze together. That didn’t mean I never settled for less—I often did, and usually with the wrong man (don’t get me started on the pilots I’d had affairs with, always a mistake)—but I still hoped for someone a bit extraordinary.

  You would think that with my past and family I would want the safe and mundane, and I guess I craved that in most aspects of my life, but when it came to love, I wanted to be blown off my feet. Hell, I think I just wanted to feel what love was, period.

  It looked like I wasn’t going to find it here.

  “Are you doing okay?” Luz asked, giving me that concerned look again. “Should we take you back?”

  “I’m fine,” I said before I knocked back the rest of the beer. With the painkillers coursing through my system, it was all hitting me a little fast, but I didn’t care.

  When they both just stared at me, I rolled my eyes. “I said I’m fine. Really. Hit and run aside, I’m fine.”

  Luz raised a brow but didn’t say anything. I took out a few pesos from my wallet and plunked them down on the table. “I’d go up and buy the next round myself, but I don’t exactly feel like crawling on my hands and knees in this place. Do you mind getting me a refill?”

  She got up but left my money on the table. It was true, every time we went out I was usually the one paying for their drinks and food and little gifts. It’s not that I made more money than them, both Luz and I were paid the same, I just liked to do nice things for them. Who else would I spend my money on?

  “Are you really okay?” Dominga asked quietly after a moment.

  I gave her a look. “Is this just about the accident or is there something else?”

  She rubbed her lips together in thought before saying, “I’m worried about you. About . . . who did this.”

  “The police said it was a random event . . . shit like this happens.”

  “First of all,” she said, “the police can’t be trusted. Second, shit like this does happen, but it rarely ends up with the driver being shot in the head. Don’t you think that’s weird? It has to be connected.”

  Of course I thought it was weird, but I’d spent the last week in the hospital thinking about it, and I wanted to put it to rest.

  “Even if it is connected, the guy who hit me is dead. Don’t you think that means someone is looking out for me? If anything.” I caught her eye and quickly added, “It’s not Javier. Believe me.”

  Luz and Dominga knew all about my brother. I mean, everyone in Mexico knew about him, but only they knew that we were related. I didn’t talk about him much, mainly because I didn’t have much to say—Javier kept his life very separate from mine and for good reason. They weren’t exactly happy that I was connected to someone so notorious and regarded him with constant suspicion and disdain, even though they had never met him.

  “So then who?” Dominga went on. “It just can’t be an accident. And if it is, why would this other person shoot him? It makes no sense and you are being way too cavalier about all of this.”

  “I’m not being cavalier,” I told her. Suddenly I felt very tired. “I’m worried, very worried. But for tonight, I don’t want to be worried.”

  “Yeah, Dominga,” Luz said, giving her the stink-eye as she appeared at the table, placing our drinks down. “Give her a break.” Luz grinned at me and slid my beer over. “You’ve got us both tonight. You’re safe. Let loose.”

  “Oh, so now I’m allowed to let loose?”

  She looked me up and down. “You can’t get too loose with the way you are.”

  I took a big gulp of beer, challenged. “We’ll see.”

  An hour later, I was feeling a lot looser. Two more beers had helped with that as well. They also tipped my bladder over to the breaking point.

  I pushed back my chair and attempted to stand up, but suddenly Luz was beside me, holding me by the arms.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” she asked.

  “I’m trying to go to the bathroom,” I told her. “You don’t need to come with me.”

  The two of them exchanged a look. “I won’t go with you into the stall, but you should probably have some help getting across the room.”

  The bar at this point was completely packed, and people were being rowdy, drunken idiots. I nodded and leaned on her, not willing to risk it on my own. I’d probably be bounced against the wall and stepped on by dancing jackasses.

  Eventually we made it to the washroom. It was dirty with wet floors and no paper towels, and had a line of slurring girls with smudged makeup waiting to use the two stalls. Luckily someone took pity on me and let me use it ahead of the line, even though there were a few disgruntled murmurs in the crowd. Even totally beat-up and obviously injured didn’t mean I got a free pass.

  When I was done, Luz was still in line, so I washed my hands and told her I’d wait outside the bathroom. No way in hell did I want to be in there, especially now as some chick was puking her brains out. I went out into the dark hallway and leaned against the wall. I was drunk, but my body was slowly starting to ache, and I wondered if the pain medication was beginning to wear off.

  Suddenly some loud morons rounded the corner from the men’s washroom and bumped into me hard. I let out a cry and flew to the side, the ground rushing up to meet my face, when an arm came out of nowhere and caught me.

  Before I knew what was happening, I was pulled back up by someone who was very strong. I looked at the large, muscular forearm around me then followed it up to the fitted white t-shirt which belonged to a tall, insanely built guy. His blue eyes were sharp and filled with concern, his jaw wide and stern, his stance fierce.

  He was Caucasian. Ripped. And hot as hell.

  And he was holding on to me like he wasn’t about to let go.

  Get Your Groove On

  —Playlist—

  For those of you who missed reading the Author’s Note at the beginning of the book, I’m hoping you might have figured out by now that the titles of Landslide’s chapters are songs. They’re also linked right at the beginning of each chapter so that you can listen to them online. However, as I borrowed the titles of songs for the titles of my chapters, I feel I need to give credit where credit is due. Now, the vast majority of the songs included are performed by the original artists, as I typically prefer them over covers, although there is a small handful that I used covers for simply because they lent themselves to the feel or mood of the chapter or a scene contained therein. Also, this “playlist” is lacking somewhere around fifty songs, as I’m only crediting the songs used as chapter titles here, rather than listing every song I listened to for inspiration and/or referenced within the book itself. So, just be aware. And, enjoy getting your groove on. I know I did…

  “Son of Man” performed by Phil Co
llins

  “She Talks to Angels” performed by The Black Crowes

  “If I Die Young” performed by The Band Perry

  “Shake the Disease” performed by Depeche Mode

  “Skinny Love” performed by Birdie

  “Carry On My wayward Son” performed by Kansas

  “Dragula” performed by Rob Zombie

  “The Unforgiven” performed by Metallica

  “Weak” performed by Seether

  “Mary Jane” performed by Alanis Morissette

  “We Said Hello, Goodbye” performed by Phil Collins

  “You Don’t Seem to Miss Me” performed by Patty Loveless feat. George Jones

  “Story of My Life” performed by One Direction

  “Outside” performed by Staind

  “Running Up That Hill” performed by Placebo

  “Feel Me” performed by Mecca Kalani

  “Let Me Go” performed by Avril Lavigne feat. Chad Kroeger

  “On My Own” performed by Bernadette Peters

  “Yellow” performed by Coldplay

  “The River & The Highway” performed by Pam Tillis

  “Home” performed by Michael Bublé

  “Chalk Outline” performed by Three Days Grace

  “Words” performed by Ryan Adams

  “You Won’t Be Mine” performed by Matchbox Twenty

  “Try” performed by P!nk

  “Welcome Back Victoria” performed by Jesus Jones

  “50 Ways to Say Goodbye” performed by Train

  “Mama’s Broken Heart” performed by Miranda Lambert

  “I Love You For Sentimental Reasons” performed by Linda Ronstadt

  “Drops of Jupiter” performed by Train

  “Dive” performed by Steven Curtis Chapman

  “Traveling Soldier” performed by The Dixie Chicks

  “So far Away” performed by Staind

  “Dark Horse” performed by Katy Perry feat. Juicy J

  “Why Can’t I” performed by Liz Phair

  “Simple Man” performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd

  “Battle Scars” performed by Lupe Fiasco & Guy Sebastian

  “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)” performed by Journey

  “Hand Me Down” performed by Matchbox Twenty

  “Sound of Madness” performed by Shinedown

  “Take Me to Church” performed by Hozier

  “Lucky” performed by Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat

  “Stolen Dance” performed by Milky Chance

  “Wrong Side of Heaven” performed by Five Finger Death Punch

  “Be Still” performed by The Fray

  “Hard Times (Come Again No More)” performed by Eastmountainsouth

  “With Arms Wide Open” performed by Creed

  “Don’t Know Much” performed by Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt

  “All That You Are” performed by The Goo Goo Dolls

  and

  “Landslide” performed by Fleetwood Mac