Winter

by Marissa Meyer

  Cress fixed one moment’s worth of intensive glaring on him.

  “That was clearly not the right thing to say. Sorry. But I’d just gotten my eyesight back.”

  “Yeah, and all you wanted to look at was her.”

  Thorne blinked, and sudden comprehension dawned in his eyes, but Cress stormed away before he could reply. “Never mind. Let’s just—”

  “Pardon me.”

  A palace guard blocked their path, one arm held out, stopping Cress in her tracks. She gasped and backed into Thorne, who latched on to her elbow. Her mouth ran dry. She’d been so incensed she hadn’t noticed the two guards stationed in the hall.

  “We are asking that all guests begin to make their way to the great hall so the coronation ceremony can begin without delay.” The guard nodded in the direction they’d come. “Please proceed this way.”

  Cress’s heart was hammering, but Thorne, calm as ever, pulled her away with a casual smile. “Of course, thank you. We must have gotten turned around.”

  As soon as they turned a corner, Cress yanked her arm out of Thorne’s hold. He let his hand fall without argument. They were in a hallway that was quieter than the main corridor, though there were still a handful of guests drifting about.

  “Stop here,” Thorne said, and she did, letting him back her against a wall. He towered too close to her, and to anyone it would look like they were in some intimate conversation, which only served to make Cress’s anger flare again. She clenched her fists and stared resolutely at his shoulder.

  Thorne sighed.

  “Cress. I know you’re upset, but could you pretend not to be for a second?”

  She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She was not angry. She was not hurt. She was not heartbroken.

  When she opened her eyes again, she morphed her expression into what she hoped looked like cheerful flirtation.

  Thorne raised an eyebrow. “That’s uncanny.”

  Her voice still had a sting to it, though, when she said, “I’m a girl too, you know. I may not be as pretty as Iko, or brave like Cinder or bold like Scarlet—”

  “Wait, Cress—”

  “And I don’t even want to know what dumb thing you said when you met Princess Winter for the first time.”

  Thorne clamped his mouth shut, confirming her suspicion that he had said something dumb indeed.

  “But I’m not invisible! And yet you flirt with every single one of them. You’ll flirt with anyone who so much as looks at you.”

  “You’ve made your point.” The teasing glint in his eye was gone, and Cress’s contrived smile had left her too. Though he had one hand near her hip, he was no longer touching her.

  “This is what you were trying to tell me, wasn’t it?” Her voice wavered. “In the desert. When you were going on and on about how I’m so sweet and how you didn’t want to hurt me and … You were trying to warn me, but I was too much of a … a naïve, hopeless romantic to even listen to you.”

  His eyes softened. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  She crossed her arms defensively over her chest. Tears were blurring her vision. “I know. It’s my own fault I’ve been this stupid.”

  Thorne flinched, but the movement was coupled with a glance around, which prompted Cress to do the same, swiping at her eyes before the tears could gather. The hallway had almost cleared, and the few remaining guests weren’t looking their way.

  Reaching around Cress, Thorne pulled open a door that she hadn’t even noticed and within half a blink ushered her inside. She stumbled from the quickness of it, catching herself on a plant stand beside the door. They were surrounded by flowers and greenery of every imaginable color, their perfume thick and steaming in her throat. The ceiling rose several stories high and was made of the same leaded glass as the windows in the main corridor. Sofas and reading chairs were set in small groupings throughout the room and straight ahead they faced a series of desks overlooking the lake beyond.

  “Good,” said Thorne. “I thought I remembered seeing something about an atrium. We’ll wait here until the halls clear. I’m hoping we can cross into one of the servant halls and avoid any more run-ins with guards for a while.”

  Cress filled her lungs to near bursting and let it all out, but the breath did nothing to refresh her. She stepped into the room, putting much-needed space between her and Thorne.

  She was an idiot. He had never once given her any indication that a real relationship could be in their future. He’d given her every chance to get used to this fact. But despite all his attempts to dissuade her from falling in love with him, her heart was still shattered.

  What was worse, a kiss from a Lunar, of all things, had shattered it—and Thorne really couldn’t be blamed for that.

  “Cress … listen…”

  His fingers brushed her wrist, but she jerked away. “Don’t. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  She wiped her nose with the flimsy wing material of her ridiculous costume.

  Thorne sighed and from the corner of her eye she caught him running a hand through his hair. She could feel his gaze burning into the back of her neck, so she turned away and pretended to inspect an enormous purple blossom.

  He knew now, of course. She had given all her feelings away—had probably given them away a long time ago, but he’d been too concerned with hurting her to let on that he knew.

  She could tell he wanted to talk more. She could feel unspoken words hovering in the air between them, suffocating her. He would apologize. He would tell her how much he cared for her—as a friend. As a member of his crew.

  She didn’t want to hear it. Not now. Not ever, but especially not now, when there were more pressing issues to deal with.

  “How long are we waiting here?” she asked, and though her voice was tinted with emotion, it had stopped shaking.

  She heard a rustle and a quiet click of a portscreen. “A few more minutes, just to make sure they’ve rounded up the slower guests.”

  She nodded.

  A second later, she heard another sigh. “Cress?”

  She shook her head. The little antenna balls bounced in the corner of her eyes—she’d forgotten she was wearing them. She dared to face him, hoping her face didn’t convey the misery underneath. “I’m all right. I just don’t want to talk about it.”

  Thorne had situated himself against the closed door, his hands stuck in his pockets. His expression was tumultuous. Shame, maybe, mixed with doubt and nerves, and something else that was dark and heady and made her toes tingle.

  He considered her for a long moment. “All right,” he said, finally. “I don’t want to talk about it, either.”

  She started to nod, but was surprised when Thorne pushed away from the door. Cress blinked and stumbled back, startled by the sudden movement. Three, four steps. The backs of her thighs hit one of the desks.

  “What—?”

  In one movement, Thorne lifted her onto the desk and pressed her back against an enormous potted fern and—oh.

  Cress had built a thousand fantasies around their rooftop kiss, but this kiss was something new.

  Where before, the kiss had been gentle and protective, now there was something passionate. Determined. Cress’s body dissolved into nothing but sensation. His hands burned her waist through the skirt’s thin fabric. Her knees pressed against his hips, and he pulled her closer, closer, like he couldn’t get her close enough. A whimper escaped her mouth, only to be swallowed by his. She heard a moan, but it could have come from either of them.

  And where, on the rooftop, the kiss had been cut too short by the battle raging on around them, this kiss went on, and on, and on …

  Finally, when Cress was starting to feel faint, the kiss was broken with a needy inhale. Cress was trembling and she hoped he wasn’t about to set her back on her feet and inform her it was time to get on with their work, because she doubted she could walk for two steps, much less to the other side of the palace.

&
nbsp; Thorne didn’t pull away. Rather, he slipped his arms around her back, and here was the gentle protectiveness she remembered. His breathing was as erratic as hers.

  “Cress.” He said her name like a vow.

  Cress shivered. Licking her tender lips, she forced her hands to un-bury themselves from his hair and moved them instead to his chest.

  Then she forced herself to push him away.

  Not enough to break out of his embrace, but enough that she could breathe and think and brace for the lifetime of regret she was about to bring on herself.

  “This…” Her voice caught. She tried again. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

  It took Thorne a moment, but then his dazed look hardened and he pushed himself back even farther.

  “I mean, it is,” she amended. “Obviously, it is.”

  His relief was obvious, and warmed every inch of her body. The quick, teasing grin spoke volumes. Of course this was what she wanted. Of course it was.

  “But … not to be just another girl,” she said. “I never wanted to be just another one of your girls.”

  The smile vanished again. “Cress…” He seemed torn, but also hopeful and unguarded. He took a deep breath. “She looked like you.”

  She hadn’t realized she was watching his mouth until her eyes snapped up to meet his. “What?”

  “The girl in the hallway, the one that kissed me. She looked like you.”

  The kiss with the Lunar girl felt like eons ago. The memory caused a surge of envy, but Cress did her best to stomp it back down.

  “That’s ridiculous. She was brunette, and tall, and—”

  “Not to me.” Thorne tucked a strand of Cress’s hair behind an ear. “She must have seen us walking together. Maybe she saw how I looked at you or something, I don’t know, but she knew … she made her glamour look like you.”

  Lips parting, Cress envisioned herself hidden in that alcove again. Watching Thorne’s expression of bewilderment. Of desire. The way he’d kissed her, and held her …

  “I thought I was kissing you,” he confirmed, brushing her lips with his again. And again. Cress’s fingers found his lapels and she pulled him closer.

  It didn’t last long, though, as another memory resurfaced.

  She yanked away. “But … you told her you loved her.”

  His expression froze, desire giving way to alarm. They hovered in that moment for an eternity.

  Finally, Thorne gulped. “Right. That.” He shrugged. “I mean, I was … we were—”

  Before he could finish, the door swung open behind him.

  Seventy-Two

  They both froze.

  Jaw tightening, Thorne whispered, “To be continued?”

  She nodded, having some difficulty trying to remember where they were.

  Thorne spun back to the door, his body shielding Cress from whoever had entered. Peering around his elbow, she caught sight of a palace guard outlined in the hallway’s light.

  The guard was scowling as he raised a device to his mouth. “It’s just a couple of guests,” he said, his voice gruff. He nudged his chin toward Thorne and Cress. “I need to ask you to move along. All corridors and public spaces need to be cleared prior to the start of the ceremony.”

  Clearing his throat, Thorne tugged down his jacket and adjusted his bow tie. “So sorry. I guess we just … got carried away.”

  Cress plucked a fern leaf off Thorne’s sleeve. Heat singed her cheeks, but it was only part from mortification, and mostly from the lingering feel of his arms, his kisses, the hazy reality of the past few minutes.

  “We’ll just be moving along, then.” Thorne grabbed the bug-antenna hat that had ended up on the floor and handed it to Cress, then helped her back down to the floor.

  Her shaking hands fumbled to strap the antennae back onto her head.

  “Thanks for letting us borrow the place,” Thorne said to the guard, winking, as they scooted into the hallway. Only once the guard was behind them did he show the slightest crack in his composure, releasing a slow breath. “Try to act natural.”

  The words echoed in Cress’s head for a long moment before she could make sense of them. Act natural? Act natural? When her legs were made of noodles and her heart was about to pound right out of her chest and he’d said that he loved her, at least, in a sense. What did it even mean to act natural in the first place? When had she ever in her life known how to act natural?

  So she started to laugh. A stifled snort, first. Then a rush of giggles crawling up her throat, until she was half falling over herself in an effort to walk straight. The laughter nearly choked her.

  Thorne kept an arm locked around her waist. “Not quite what I had in mind,” he muttered, “but sort of charming all the same.”

  “I’m sorry.” She gasped out the words, coughed a little, and tried to mold her face into natural, but another giggle fit was rumbling her stomach, spasming in her chest. She buckled over again.

  “Um. Cress. You’re adorable, but I need you to focus for a second. We’re lucky that guard didn’t recognize either of us, but if he—”

  “Hey! Stop!”

  Thorne cursed.

  Cress’s laughter was doused with panic.

  “Run!”

  She did, gripping Thorne’s hand. Around one corner, then another. He led them to an inconspicuous alcove with a small door and shoved her through—into the servants’ halls.

  “Left!” he ordered, yanking the door shut and grabbing a service tray that had been left in the corridor. He wedged it into place while Cress ran, past pallets of supplies and maintenance equipment, storage cabinets and broken sculptures. Thorne caught up to her easily. He had pulled the handgun from inside his jacket. “Still have that chip?”

  She pressed a hand against her bodice, detecting the small chip with Cinder’s video tucked against her skin. She nodded, running too hard to speak.

  “Good.”

  Without warning, Thorne slammed into Cress, pushing them both behind an enormous wheel of electrical cording. She hit the wall hard, panting.

  “Two corridors back there was an elevator,” he said. “Find a place to hide, then get to the security center. I’ll draw them off and circle back around to find you.”

  Cress started to shake her head. “No. You can’t leave me, not again. I can’t do this without you.”

  “Sure you can. It won’t be as much fun, but you’ll figure it out.”

  Footsteps thundered in the distance. She squeaked.

  “I’ll find you,” Thorne whispered. He pressed a hasty kiss against her mouth, wrapping her hand around something heavy and warm. “Be heroic.”

  He took off running again, just as she heard the footsteps catching up.

  “There!” someone yelled.

  Thorne disappeared around a corner.

  Cress stared at the gun he’d given her. This small contraption, so solid in her grip, terrified her more than the guards. She ached to put it down on the floor and step away.

  Instead, she flattened herself against the electrical cording and pried her finger from the trigger, where it had landed instinctively. Just like a computer, she told herself. Computers only do what you tell them to do. The gun will only fire if you pull the trigger.

  It wasn’t particularly comforting.

  Two guards ran past, not even glancing in her direction.

  She considered staying where she was, out in the open as it may be. She was shaking from head to toe and every fiber of her body told her that to move would be to get caught.

  But logic told her that her body was lying. They would come back. They would send reinforcements. She would be seen.

  Distant gunshots made her jump, spurring her into action. The shots were followed by grunts and the sounds of a struggle.

  Cress pushed herself out of the corner and turned back in the direction she and Thorne had come from. Two corridors back, he’d said. An elevator.

  She went quietly this time, pressing her free hand into the sti
tch in her side. She passed one corridor and heard more footsteps, but couldn’t tell which direction they were coming from. She froze, scanned her surroundings, and yanked open one of the storage cabinets.

  Rolls of decorative fabric were stood on end, many of them taller than she was, and all of them lush and glistening in metallics and jewel tones.

  Cress climbed inside, squeezing her body into the space created from the fabric bolts that had toppled to one side. Pulling the door shut, she set the gun on the cabinet’s floor. She was very careful to aim it away from her.

  The footsteps grew louder and she was sure she’d been seen, but no one yelled.

  Until—

  “Stop!”

  Another gunshot, this one followed by an instantaneous grunt and a body crashing onto the floor. It sounded close. Cress squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her chin onto her knees. Not Thorne. Please not Thorne.

  A heavy sigh was followed by a soothing male voice. “All this over a pesky Earthen? You guards are pathetic.”

  Cress pressed her hands against her mouth to keep any sounds from escaping. She stared into the darkness, attempting to shallow her breathing, though she worried she might pass out if she didn’t get more air soon.

  Someone groaned. Not far away from where she was hiding.

  “He is definitely one of the cyborg’s allies. The question is, what are you doing in the palace?”

  A beat, then Thorne’s voice. “Just kissing my girl,” he said, wheezing a little. Cress scrunched up her whole face and buried it against her knees, choking back a sob. “I didn’t realize that was a … a capital offense around here.”

  The man sounded unamused. “Where is the girl you were with?”

  “I think you scared her off.”

  Another sigh. “We don’t have time for this. Put him in a holding cell—we’ll deal with him after the coronation. I’m sure he’ll make a delightful Earthen pet for one of the families. And keep looking for that girl—alert me the moment you find her. Increase security around the great hall. They’re plotting something, and Her Majesty will kill us all if the ceremony is interrupted.”

  There was a thud and another grunt. Cress flinched, her head filling with all the things they could have done to Thorne to cause that grunt—all the things they could still do to him.