Dance and Be Glad

by Melissa Wardwell

  “This better be good,” he answered gruffly.

  “Good morning to you too, man. Get up, you’re needed at church early today,” the male voice stated from the other end of the line.

  “Who is this, by the way?” Mike couldn’t place the voice. Maybe he was still half asleep.

  “It’s Adam,” he answered with a surprised tone. Adam was the piano player for the church praise team. A good guy, but a bit bold in his demeanor.

  Mike sat up and ran his hand over his face in an attempt to wake up more while he filled his lungs with air and then exhaled. He needed to wake up fast for this call. It could mean only one thing. He was the backup guitar player when the worship leader, Tom, was unavailable.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “Erik is sick. Can you step in this morning? He wasn’t feeling too well doing practice yesterday so he had us practice the easy ones, just in case.”

  It was a good thing Erik thought ahead. It just would have been nice to have a heads up so that Mike could have practiced last night instead of tossing and turning. It had been a while since he had picked up his guitar.

  “Sure. What time do you guys usually meet for more practice?”

  Adam gave the details and song list and they hung up. His morning was about to get interesting. He was going to lose an hour in getting around this morning and Emily had a tendency to take her time getting out of bed.

  Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he stretched from side to side in an effort to wake up his joints and muscles. At thirty-six, it took a little more effort to wake up his body in the mornings than it did as a twenty-year-old. He went over chord progressions in his head as he slipped a shirt on and shuffled to Emily’s room to wake her.

  When he knocked on her door, she was quick to answer, “Good morning Uncle Mike.”

  Her alertness was a shock to him. He had expected a lazy eyed girl who could give him a world of attitude.

  “Morning, Em. I have to lead worship this morning so we have to be out of here in an hour. Think you can make it happen?”

  “Sure.”

  They worked out who would shower first and he went back to his room. Emily was jumping in first, which would give him time to do his devotional and cook breakfast. It would only take him twenty minutes to get himself together.

  He walked downstairs to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee from his programmable coffee maker: the best creation man could ever dream up. He wrapped his hands around the mug and let the warmth fill him from his finger tips and up his arm. The first hot sip filled the rest of him as a hint of contentment filled him. Feeling like he was awake enough to approach the rest of the day, he walked to the back of the house were his office was. His favorite leather, high back chair that was expertly positioned in front of the large bay window welcomed him. He sighed as he sat in his chair, placed his mug on the end table next to him and reached for his Bible. Opening to the passage he had left off at the morning before.

  This was his place in the house where he knew he could meet God every day. It once overlooked a clearing that was backdropped by trees. Now it overlooked the horse pasture he was putting in. He had the barn erected in the late summer for his own use but now that he had Emily, it would house her horse that was currently being taken care of by a neighbor. He would build the fence once the ground thawed. He was more than happy to put this in for her. He gave her everything she could possibly want or need. She deserved a little pampering and spoiling, he thought, after all she had been through. Yes, raising a horse or two would put a little dip in his wallet, but it was for Emily so it was worth it.

  He had been reading through Proverbs for the last month as he needed all the wisdom he could obtain right now. Between preparations to open the practice, parenting Emily, Rebecca’s mother, and most recently, his growing affections for Jill and even her daughter - it was quite a bit to take in without guidance.

  He began to read Proverbs twenty-two when one verse stopped him in his place. He tried to keep reading, but something wouldn’t let him move on.

  “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

  Okay, what about it, God?

  He looked out to the horse barn. “Things can’t heal Emily’s heart.”

  I know that. I’m just trying to make it easier for her.

  “Lead her to Me.”

  It dawned on him at that moment that he had not taken the time to minister to her breaking heart like he should. He just put a Band-Aid on her wounds. He should have been praying for her, not buying her whatever bedroom set she wanted. He should have been reading the Word to her, or with her, instead of leaving her alone to cry in her room.

  A gentle knock came from the door. He looked to see the subject of this morning's devotion. Her hair was wrapped up on a towel and her fluffy pink robe was wrapped snuggly around her. “Uncle Mike, it’s your turn.” Her soft words were barely audible.

  “Thanks Em.”

  Before he could say another word, she turned from the room. His ears followed the sound of her footfall up the stairs to the second floor, then to the shutting of her bedroom door. She was his to care for now, unless some judge had his way about it, so he was determined to treat her like the little princess she was. Not just his princess but God’s princess.

  When they arrived at the church forty-five minutes later, he pulled into the dirt parking lot of Cornerstone Church.

  It was large for an old country church, but it still had all the charm of the time when it was built in. It had everything you would expect to see: stained glass windows, a large white steeple, and white siding; except of course for the brick red metal roofing that was installed over the summer. The church board was trying to bring it up to date without changing too much of the look. He loved it.

  He and Emily walked from their car to the back door, his guitar case in one hand and Emily’s hand in his other. He tried not to over react to this stepping stone, but the young girl had barely spoken to him, let alone held his hand, since her parents’ death. She used to love holding his hand when she was little, but like many kids she grew out of that phase.

  “I thought you needed a hand to hold, Uncle Mike. You’re just too quiet.” She made his heart smile. His love for his niece had grown the more he was able to spend time with her. Emily’s tenderness was so moving, even when she was being a hormonal girl.

  “Thanks, Em. You’re right. I do need it. I hear we might have some guests today.”

  “Who?” Wonder and excitement glistened in her sapphire eyes.

  “Ms. Jill and Katie.”

  Emily stopped in her tracks, “I have been asking Katie to come to church with me for a long time. She said her mommy hated church. Do you think they’ll come?”

  “I sure hope so. Jill doesn’t hate church, she just hurts.”

  They continued toward the door. A little prayer that Jill would show today went up.

  “God can fix that, can’t He?” Emily’s words were more of a statement than a question.

  “He sure can,” he replied as he opened the front door, letting her lead him in.

  Practice went on without a hitch. Adam was right; the songs were definitely oldies, yet goodies. Leading worship again filled him with joy and peace all at once. He had backed off because of his job at his old church wasn’t willing to work with him. When Pastor Cross offered to put him on the call list once Mike became a regular, he prayed that when he was called on to lead that he didn’t have to work. This was one of his favorite ways to connect with God. His work as a doctor was his way to minister to others by offering something that they could not do for themselves. But playing his guitar and singing was his way to recoup all that he had given away during the week or months. This morning, between practice and prayer with the team in Pastor Cross’ office, he was full to the brim and ready to give his time and talent to the congregation by leading them into the presence of the Lord.

  In the minutes bef
ore service, he greeted various people. They congratulated him on opening the office or asked about how things were going. He really felt like he belonged here.

  “Hey there, brother. How’s it going?” asked the familiar masculine voice as a hand clapped him on the shoulder. Ryan had a strong left hand and had no qualms in using it. Mike turned to greet him, smiling through the sting left behind on his shoulder. He was sure he had a hand shaped welt to prove it.

  Taking his friend’s hand, he shook it. “How’s it going?” Mike glanced around for Emma. “How’s Emma doing? She feeling okay?”

  “She is doing fine. She is actually driving me nuts right now, but I love it,” Ryan said with a grin that shone on his face and brought a hint of jealousy to the pit of Mike’s stomach. He was ready to grin like that for the love of his life.

  “I’m glad to hear it.” He glanced at his watch and saw it was time to begin the service. He bid a “see ya later” to Ryan and went to the stage.

  Looking out over the congregation while the assistant pastor gave announcements, Mike struggled to keep his mind off the disappointment he felt that Jill and Katie had not arrived yet. He was really hoping to see her today.

  With the first strum of his guitar, the doors to the church swung wide. Sunlight pouring in blinded him enough that he couldn’t even see the paper in front of him with the chords on it, let alone who had just entered the building.

  Pushing everything aside, he continued to play and sing in an effort to lead the congregation in worship. He was lost in this simple task, basking in the glory of the Lord.

  As soon as the last song finished, he removed his guitar while the rest of the band put their instruments down. His heart felt lighter and he was resolved to not worry about whether or not Jill came. She was God’s child like he was and Mike couldn’t change anything for her. Just love her. But how, Lord?

  When he arrived at his seat in the row with Tiffany, Emma, and Ryan he was so surprised to see her in his place that he thought his heart would beat out of his chest. Jill looked up at him with her dazzling red hair flowing in waves down her back and that smile that warmed him through every time. He knew he was losing a battle by just looking at her.

  She slid over a bit so he could sit down next to her. To make sure that all five adults fit in the row, he had to put an arm over the back of the pew behind her and sit as close to the side of the pew as he could. The scent of her hair, lavender and vanilla, weaved its way around him making him fuzzy headed. She was going to make it difficult to pay attention to the sermon today.

  Chapter 9

  Jill didn’t know what to expect when she walked through the doors of the little country church, but warm hugs and smiling faces was not it. Don’t even get her started on everyone dressing so casually. Even the pastor wore jeans and a plaid button up. The look of the church may have been traditional, but she had a pretty good feeling that this church was anything but.

  They arrived just as a group of kids were heading in their direction and then turning to go downstairs. Sarah and Emily met them with big smiles and grabbed Katie's hand to follow them. Katie gave Jill a questioning look and she nodded her consent.

  “Oh, mom and dad are in the third row on the left,” Sarah instructed on her way down the stairs.

  Looking up the aisle in the direction Sarah told her, she located Emma through the crowd. People were milling about, hugging and shaking hands while they said their good mornings. She made an attempt to weave through the crowd to get to Emma, but it proved difficult. Every single person she passed hugged her and introduced themselves. She was here for the wedding in December, but things were different this time. It felt more like coming home than coming to church.

  She was relieved when she finally made it to Emma. Ryan and Tiffany greeted her as well and had her sit at the other end of the pew. Ryan needed the outermost side because of his leg and cane. Jill was fine with that. Sitting by the wall meant that she was somewhat invisible. She knew how some churches made a big deal about visitors and the last thing she wanted was to be the center of attention. The gauntlet of parishioners was more than enough for now.

  The music had been well underway by the time she was settled in her seat. People had greeted each other during the one fast and peppy song, but now the worship leader had toned things down and was playing one of her favorites. She glanced around the room at all the different faces. She noticed a few familiar people, but when her eyes landed on the object of her search she found it hard to pry her focus away.

  He used to sing to her when they were young, but his voice had never held the depth and surety that it did now. The fact that he was strapped to an acoustic guitar almost blew her mind. A smile crept across her face when she remembered him telling her he wanted to play but never had money or time to learn.

  She was entranced by the beauty in the music. She knew every song, but the atmosphere was not of anyplace on this earth. Closing her eyes and soaking it all in, she fought the desire to dance like she could in her studio. It was her way to worship, to dance before the Lord. She danced to praise and worship music in the studio when she needed a bit of refreshing.

  Searing pain shot through her hands as she slammed her knuckles against the pew in front of her. Clearly she was not mindful of her whereabouts so she made a point to not move much. Things were so tight that she couldn’t even use her hands like normal. It didn’t detour her from worshiping. It had been too many years since she graced the threshold of a church on Sunday. Now she found herself asking if it was worth avoiding people who could hurt her to miss sitting in communal worship. The music ended and disappointment rang through her. Music and dance were her happy place, so to speak.

  The congregation took their seats; the ancient pews creaked under the pressure. They had to have been as old as the building which gave it charm.

  Movement from her left caught her attention. When she saw Mike looking down at her, she couldn’t help but smile. Time stood still, if only for a second, as they held each other captive. Prickles of electricity moving between them made her hair stand on end and her heart race. That is until Tiffany broke their concentration with a nudge. Everyone had slid tighter together to make room and it was now her turn. It dawned on her as she moved that due to the tight spaces, she would be sitting almost hip to hip with Mike. She prayed that she would be able to focus on the sermon and not the ruggedly handsome doctor beside her.

  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths,” Pastor Cross began.

  His voice was quiet yet deep, commanding you to listen to the words of God. The verse called her from her heady fog.

  He talked about what the verse meant to him in reference to his life and then went into how the congregation could apply it to their lives. Everything was great, and things she had heard before. But there was one thing he said that struck to the heart of Jillian.

  “When you hold a grudge, against one person or many, are you trusting God? When you make a move or make a decision without praying about it first, are you trusting the One who knows more about you than you know about yourself? How can we say that we trust God when we jump ahead of His plan for our lives? It could be a choice you made a week ago or decades ago. Either way, you didn’t trust Him to care enough about you to provide all that you needed and a bit of what you want from time to time.”

  She heard him say a few more things, but they were jumbled words as they rolled around in her head. They made her think.

  She thought she had been doing so well with her life on her own, well, their own. In reality, she had taken the reins of her life from the One who gave her life.

  Different situations from her past flashed before her eyes like a movie reel on the back of the pew. She was such a trusting girl when she was younger, but somewhere along the line things changed.

  When, God? When did I try to take over?

  A teenage coupl
e sneaking around to see each other. A lonely young woman standing at the altar looking into the face of a man she liked but knew things weren’t right. Opening a dance studio. And lastly, the most hurtful, choosing to leave a church in bitterness. She had done all of these things, and many others, without praying first and trusting God to take care of her. Not everything was bad, but she still hadn’t trusted Him to provide. And ever since Doug’s death, she had pretty much told God that she could handle it.

  She bowed her head, closed eyes, and a lone tear escaped and landed in her hand.

  Oh, God, I am so sorry. Forgive me for not trusting you with my life.

  A soft feminine hand reached for hers. Before she could look to see who it was, the person spoke tenderly in her ear.

  “He has never left you or forsaken you, so rejoice with dancing and He will turn your mourning into gladness and bring happiness out of your grief. Just trust Him.”

  Without another word, the hand left hers and Jill could no longer feel anyone around her. She wasn’t sure how long she rested in the peace that filled her heart; she frankly didn’t care. She could physically feel the change and mending in her and wasn’t quite ready to leave.

  When she opened her eyes, everyone was standing and milling about. Service had been dismissed while she sat in the pew, praying. She hadn’t even noticed. And as far as the woman, there were none near her, not even Emma or Tiffany.

  “You okay?” Mike asked. He was standing next to her but in the outside aisle; his guitar case was in his hand. His cornflower blue shirt made his eyes stand out more and his hair look lighter. His face held a hint of scruff on his cheeks and chin. She liked it on him. It made him look comfortable and not all uptight.

  “Yeah, I think so. Just realizing a few things.”

  He sat down next to her and she moved over a bit more. “Me too.”

  Before anything more could be said, Tiffany came over and interrupted their conversation, again. “Cookout the Daniels’. You two coming?”