Dance and Be Glad

by Melissa Wardwell

  He motioned for her to lead the way.

  Once they were outside in the warm sun, they sat on the benches that were set a few feet from the door.

  “What’s on your mind? I thought I would have heard from you before now,” he asked once she settled.

  Jill’s stature was slouched and defeated. What could bring her so low when she was full of such joy only a few days ago?

  “Having Julie here is stretching me a bit. Watching her hurts as she lies in bed all day, barely eating is difficult. She was hurt pretty bad. I am pretty sure the scars run deeper than what I can see.”

  “Can you tell me what happened, or not yet?” His intuition told him what happened, but he wasn’t one to assume.

  “All I can tell you is what I see and that is a big, fat bruise on her face the size of a beef steak, and a few marks on her arms. I am pretty sure more happened, but she isn’t talking. I pray for her every day, but it is taking its toll on Katie and I. Poor Katie is so worried about her aunt and I’m wondering if I need to arm myself. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend, let alone an abusive one.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Not that I can think of, I just needed to get that out.”

  Mike turned to her and put his hand on hers as he assured her, “I am here anytime you need to talk.” Her sorrowful green eyes locked on his, “I mean it, Jill. I’m not going anywhere. Everything I hold dear is right here and I am not leaving it behind, ever again.”

  He didn’t say another word. He wanted to give his meaning time to take root. The longer they sat there, him holding her hand, he began to doubt if she understood. How do I make her see, Lord? I know she’s scared, I am too, but the thought of not seeing her or talking to her everyday tears me to pieces.

  “Well, I should get going,” she proclaimed as she stood.

  Mike was dumbfounded. She was dodging him again.

  Mike stood and took a step near her, “Jill. . .”

  She stopped him with her hand on his chest. The heat of her palm searing through his jacket and shirt headed straight for his heart. “Mike, don’t. Not right now. I just can’t handle one more thing.” Her apologetic eyes meeting his, she explained, “No matter how much I want to, I don't’ have enough left in me at this point.”

  She was getting the hints. Desperation to make her see that a relationship with him wouldn’t be a bad thing urged him forward. He took hold of her shoulders, “When Jill? You’re driving me mad.” he looked down at her but the top of her head was all he saw. “I can’t help but touch you. I see you like you are now and I want nothing more than to hold you until the sadness leaves your eyes. I want to take care of you and Katie. Why won’t you let me?”

  He brushed her hair behind her ear, like he had seen her do so many times. It was like silk between his fingers. A twinge of pink crept over her ear as he ran his fingers across it. He wanted nothing more than to run his fingers down her neck, take hold of her waist and pull her to him, entrapping her in a kiss that had waited seventeen years to come. But he was an adult now, not some hormonal teen. He had to respect her need for time and space. Once you give the signal though, look out Red.

  He willed her to meet his eyes, but she focused soley on his chest. She didn’t pull away, giving him hope, but in an effort to not push her, he let her go and reluctantly took a step back. She did the same before she met his gaze.

  There was much more between them that was unsaid but in front of a hospital was not the place to do it.

  “Will you at least honor me . . .”

  “I’ll get Emily. . .”

  They spoke in tandem and he got the hint. She was done talking. “Thank you. I’ll be there soon. I just want to see him settled.”

  She nodded her understanding and turned toward her rickety truck. He watched her climb into her crumbling, dilapidated truck. Despite the clamoring and clanking it started, this time. It was only a matter of time before her truck fell apart on her like her house had. He hated to see such a giving person have to live that way. He hated that she wouldn’t let him take care of her. He hated that the dream he had for their lives as teens was wreaking havoc on his heart now.

  “God, I really want to take care of her; to love her. Show me how.”

  Chapter 16

  Cruising along his sprawling acreage on his zero turn mower and the tunes of his favorite band blasting through the headphones, Mike enjoyed his time in the sun. Life seemed to settle down as the weather warmed. The grand opening of the office went on without a hitch. Eugene recovered from his pneumonia and met Mike at their bench every Tuesday morning for a bit of razzing and chit chat. Emily, though she still spent many nights crying in her sleep, she laughed more often than not. Everything would be perfect in his eyes if Jill wasn’t so jumpy when he came around and he didn’t have the custody battle looming over his head.

  Coming around the far side of the house, he saw a brand new Cadillac creep up his driveway, stopping at the foot path to the front door. Irritated for the interruption of his time in nothing land, he came to a halt near the car before the person could even get out of the car. When the blacked out window of the driver’s side rolled down, it took everything in him not to start the loud beat of a machine back up and roll away. The last person on this earth he wanted to talk to was her. Pastor Cross’ nagging voice resounded in his head, “You don’t have to like a person, but you have to be kind.” Mike regretted that day and wished he had skipped church.

  “Mrs. Thomas, what an honor to be graced with your presence.” Laying it on a bit thick aren’t you?

  “Don’t be smart with me. You know why I’m here.”

  Confused as to her meaning he dropped the act, “Not really. How about you tell me?”

  The uppity woman almost growled as she climbed from the car. She was as round as she was tall, and that wasn’t a great height. Doing his best to be as respectful as he could, he got down from the lawn mower and brushed off his clothes. He gritted his teeth in an effort to hold back words that he shouldn’t say. Praying for a Christ-like attitude, he went into the lion’s den.

  “I really don’t want to drag that poor girl through a custody battle. You could save a lot of money and heartache by just signing her over to her grandfather and me.”

  His ire grew. This woman had a lot of nerve.

  “For starters, that girl’s name is Emily. Secondly, you shouldn’t even be here as stated in the court order. Third, Emily is doing well right now. Handing her over to you would destroy all of the progress she has achieved. I’ll see you in court.” He finished the conversation by getting back on the mower, starting it up and driving away. Rude, maybe, but if he had stayed and hashed it out with her he would have said things that he shouldn’t.

  Whizzing back and forth, he willed the noise of the motor to calm his nerves. A flash of white pulled out of the drive and relief hit.

  “You shouldn’t let her get under your skin. It’ll come back to haunt you if you do. They are her grandparents and they should be able to see her once in a while,” his lawyer had advised him. Mike knew he was right. Unfortunately, by them going for full custody of Emily, they halted any chance of that happening until it was over.

  This was one of those moments that he wished his brother was here to ask him about it. Then again, if he was, he wouldn’t have Emily and this crazy business wouldn’t even be happening.

  By the time he stood in the school parking lot, waiting for Emily to meet him, he had cooled down from the confrontation. It took much prayer and a brief chat with Pastor Cross to make it happen, but alas, he was feeling normal again.

  “How’s it going?” Ryan asked as he took hold of Mike’s hand and gave it a hardy shake.

  “Not bad, now. You?”

  “Flying pretty high right now. Got some news on the baby today.”

  “That’s great. What kind of news? Something you can share?” Mike figured she had to be around twenty weeks by now, if not past.

 
; “She wants to tell the kids first. She’s home making a cake the color of the gender. I’ll let you know as soon as I’m given the all clear.”

  “What is it daddy?” Sarah’s shouts from the sidewalk made all heads turn in their direction.

  “You’ll see soon. Get in the car and I’ll be right there.” Ryan brushed a stray hair behind her ear as he spoke to her. It was such a tender moment between father and daughter. The guys said their goodbyes and Mike continued to wait.

  Next out of the doors were Jill and Katie. Mike’s heart thundered as he watched her walk across the lawn to her truck. She looked over Katie’s head in time to see him watching her. He waved and she gave him a soft, gut turning smile. He hated that she was parked so far away.

  Student after student, parent after parent, he watched as they left the building, but no sign of Emily. Warning flickering within him, he went in to see if everything was all right.

  Inside the school office, the secretary busied herself with end of the day things. She was too busy to notice Mike standing at the waist high counter.

  “Excuse me. I’m looking for Emily Emerson.”

  The tall brunette looked up from her computer with surprise on her face. “Who are you looking for?”

  “Emily Emerson, my niece. She didn’t come out with the rest of the kids like usual. Is everything okay?” A knot formed in his throat as something felt wrong.

  The woman looked in a binder that held lists of some kind. The top of the page said “Sign In”.

  “It says here she was checked out by an Arleen Thomas,” she whispered and then went back to her computer. She typed a few letters, “It says here that she is an approved pick up person.”

  Mike had only felt this sick one other time, on Christmas Eve. It hit him at that moment that he should have edited the list Tom and Rebecca had set up; especially with the court order to have no contact for the time being.

  “What time?”

  “It says here two-thirty.”

  Mike thanked the woman and ran to his car. Panic stricken, he struggled to move once in the comfort of his car. He racked his brain to think of what to do now.

  His phone vibrated on his belt.

  “Yeah?”

  “Mike, you okay?” He looked out over the steering wheel to see Jill’s truck across the lawn where it was parked earlier.

  “Why. . .” He couldn’t think what to say next.

  “The beast has died. Now, back to my question, what’s wrong?”

  “Emily. . .Mrs. Thomas. . .took her.” He was so dumbfounded that speaking in a clear sentence was a battle.

  Before he could say another word, Jill and Katie were running to his car and climbing in.

  “Why are you just sitting here?”

  He looked at her, “She took her.”

  “Switch me sides, I’ll drive.”

  That he could do.

  They got out of the car and met at the back of the car. Jill, without hesitation, wrapped her arms around his neck and he put his around her. She mumbled a prayer in the crick of his neck. Her words brought him peace, but not a clear head. When she let go, he struggled to do the same. Her hug was like a comforting blanket on a cold day.

  Back in the car, she began to take charge. “Call your lawyer. Have him meet you at the police department.”

  Mike complied but recalled doing none of it.

  “Why would God let this happen?” he mumbled.

  Her hand took hold of his as she assured him with her words, “Nothing bad is going to happen. Emily is with her grandmother; she isn’t going to hurt her.”

  Reasoning set in by the time they reached the station. The fog in his brain lifted as he gave his statement and a picture of the beautiful blond haired, blue eyed girl who he loved like she was his own.

  “Now, Doctor Emerson, I’m going to tell you to do something that you are not going to like. I need you to do the right thing though and comply. I need you to go home and wait. If she manages to find her way home, you need to be there. Because you know who took her, we will get right on this.” He was right, he hated it but he would do as he was told.

  The officer gave Jill some instructions while his lawyer did his best to encourage him and keep him from doing something really dumb, like run out of the station and look for Emily.

  If Jill and Katie had not been with him, he would have scoured the county, more like the state to find his niece. And he likely would have gotten himself into trouble at the same time.

  Thank you, God for stalling her truck.

  *****

  “Thanks for calling, Emma. . . Pray for him. . . He is not doing well. . . No, no word. . . Oh, and congratulations. . . Sarah called earlier and told Katie. . . Yes, one more girl to the dance troop though I would have taken a boy. . . I’ll let him know. And thanks again, bye.”

  Jill pressed end on her phone, put it on silence mode and placed it on the kitchen island, right next to his. She had been filtering calls most of the night after Mike almost threw his out the window. Some she would answer, others she would not. The local news station had even called for input on the “story”. That was the one that did Mike in and Jill took his phone from him just in time. She wasn’t sure if he noticed it yet or not, but when Jill answered the call from Emma, she saw a news crew park in front of his property. If she hadn’t looked out the front window at the right time, she would never have known they were there. The barrier of trees between the house and the road helped offer the privacy he needed.

  It had been five hours since they left the police department and there was still no word. The constant blaring of the phone alert system signaling an Amber Alert for Emily made her even tenser. She couldn’t imagine how it was grating on Mike. He was restless and Jill wished there was something more she could do for him, but she knew from experience that no words could be said that would ease the hurt. All she could do was keep doing what she was doing and pray he didn’t hurt himself in the process.

  Looking for something to do, Jill started filling the kitchen sink. Mike had a perfectly good dishwasher, but she needed to be busy.

  A loud crash came from the garage as Jill washed the dishes. She dried her hands as she went out to the garage. She hadn't expected to see him kneeling on the floor with his hands over his face with an angry cry coming from the gentle man. Lord, how much more must he endure this year?

  Jill went to him, crouched down in front of him and guided him up. He wrapped his arms around her like a vice. She did her best to hold him in response.

  "What if they don't find her, Jill? I've grown so used to her being around. It's like she's a part of me," he declared in her ear. Jill pulled back to see his face better.

  Seeing the black rings that were around his eyes she guided him into the living room. All the while, he mumbled his concerns. She had never seen him so distraught in all the years she had known him. The added stress of exhaustion had turned him into the shell of the man she knew.

  "Have a seat Mike and lay your head back. You need some rest."

  She took the lightweight blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and laid it in his lap. When she began to walk away, he took hold of her hand.

  "Sit with me please."

  Without a word, she sat on the opposite end of the couch. She expected him to talk to her about something, but instead he moved closer to her and proceeded to lay his head in her lap. The action was something like a child would do with its mother in search of comfort. Her heart dropped as dawning hit that he had to be hurting more from this than he let on. All the anger had been a cover for the devastation he felt.

  Jill watched pictures flash across the television as she did the only thing she could think to do. She brushed her fingers through his hair like she would Katie or any of the girls in her dance company when they were discouraged. Images of the situation in the Middle East followed by tornado strikes in the Midwest played on the television. When Emily’s image flashed, she felt Mike tense. She watched him
as he watched the silent newscast. His breathing intensified and his muscles tightened. She continued the motion but it didn’t seem to help. Looking to the side table, she took hold of the remote and turned off the television. They knew the situation with Emily; they didn’t need to watch it and get worked up even more.

  Mike immediately began to settle and muttered his thanks.

  She wasn't quite sure how long they had been sitting there but when his breathing became deeper and steadier, she knew he must've fallen asleep. Not wanting to wake him, she sat still as possible. This whole day had been taxing on both of them and he needed his rest.

  Praying was still a sporadic thing for her but she took the opportunity to ask for guidance for her and for Mike. She prayed for protection of Emily and her grandmother wherever they may be. She prayed for all who were looking for Emily, that God would guide their footsteps as they went from searching the county to searching the state. Her prayer was short, to the point, and when she said amen, there were no still small voices or loud shouts that her prayers were answered.

  There was a time that her faith was all she had. Now even the smallest efforts seemed like a great struggle. She was doing what was right to be a good Christian but she didn't feel it in her heart. She remembered what it used to feel like and this was not it.

  Choosing to not dwell on the past any longer, she laid her head back and closed her eyes.

  An old familiar dream crept in. Except this time she wasn't lying in Doug's arms, she was standing in front of him as they held hands. All around them was quiet and calm. The atmosphere was so bright she struggled to focus on his face. Normally he would have a stern look almost in a reprimand kind of way but this time he smiled and looked peaceful.

  "What are you holding onto Jill?"

  She was confused by his question. Maybe this wasn't as familiar as the dream she was used to.

  "What do you mean? The only thing I hold onto is memories of you so that I can tell our daughter."