Dirty Nights

by A. M. Hargrove

  Try as I might, it’s impossible to forget the way Ryder smelled as I burrowed next to him. Fresh and clean. Not loaded down with cologne like so many of my clients are or covered with stench like my would-be rapist. Just the thought of having him next to me made me feel nice … comforting in a way I’d never felt before.

  I’m pouring a cup of coffee when Mom stumbles into the kitchen. She reaches in the cabinet and grabs a bottle of vodka. Unscrewing the lid, she holds the bottle to her mouth and takes a good hard swallow. Then she looks at me.

  “What the hell happened to you?”

  “Nothing. Just ran into the wall.”

  She grabs my chin and tilts my face toward the light so she can get a better look.

  “Don’t fucking lie to me. Who hit you?”

  “No one.”

  “Is your pimp not taking good care of you?”

  “No, Mom. That’s not it. J.D.’s the best. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I was … someone attacked me on the way home last night.”

  “What? Where?”

  I don’t want to tell her because it will be admitting to the fact that my driver doesn’t bring me back here.

  “I had to take the subway last night and it was on the way home from there.”

  It happens before I can see it. Her hand flies out and she nails me with her palm.

  “You stupid slut. You know not to walk around like that, late at night. What were you thinking? Now you can’t work for a week or so. What the hell am I gonna do?” And then she smacks me again. “I could knock the shit out of you.”

  She stands there rubbing her arms. She has no idea the amount of money I make. I never tell her because she’s so greedy. This way she thinks she can only use a certain amount of meth, crack, heroin or whatever she can get her hands on. I know I’m being naive in thinking this will restrict her drug use. It won’t. But it also won’t give her that free for all she so desperately wants either.

  My cheek stings from her slaps. Sometimes, like now, I really hate her. To the point of wanting to walk away from here and never look back. But I know I can’t do that. Won’t do that. If I did, she’d die and then I’d blame myself. Jimmy thinks I should. He says she doesn’t give a shiz about me, why should I care about her. But I do because she’s my mom and she’s sick. She needs help but won’t get it. And someday I’m going to persuade her to go to rehab.

  I make some scrambled eggs for breakfast and then I get on my old slow-as-hell computer. Like I do everyday, I check out the local dance theaters to see if there are any openings for auditions. They usually require some kind of training but sometimes I find one that doesn’t. Those are the ones I seek. When I don’t see anything that I could apply for, I go and change into my workout clothes and head for the studio.

  I’m lucky. This is one of those friend of a friend of a friend deals. Jimmy has an aunt who is friends with a lady who used to dance and then teach professionally. For years she owned a studio and pulled some favors to get me in here. I come diligently and she has no earthly idea that I’m a stripper. She thinks I’m a wannabe and that I practice diligently. She knows I put my time in here because someone reports to her. Then one day, as I was doing my routine, I noticed an elderly woman eyeing me. She stood off to the side and never once took her eyes off me. When I finished my two and a half hour routine, she was gone. About a month later, she was back, watching me again. Afterwards, she approached me and gave me some solid tips. I didn’t see her again for a couple more months. When I was leaving the studio someone handed me an envelope with my name on it. Inside was a brief note.

  Skylina,

  Come to tea at my home—121 E. 71st St.

  This Wednesday at 3 o’clock.

  Marianna

  It was the former dancer/teacher.

  My stomach rumbled as I sipped my tea. Marianna smiled as she heard it.

  “You should eat more, Skylina. Your workouts use a lot of calories and you need to keep up your strength.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “So, tell me. What do you want to do with yourself?”

  “I want to dance.” Ohmigod! Could I have been any more lame?

  She laughed. But not a sarcastic one. “Oh dear, I know that. The way you work out and how dedicated you are tells me that. How are you going to accomplish it?”

  My face fell to my lap. “I don’t know. I can’t afford the fancy schools. And now it seems that’s the only way to get auditions.”

  “My dear girl, haven’t you ever heard of scholarships?”

  “Yes, but I would never qualify for one.”

  “Well why ever not?”

  “Well, I, ah, because there’s, ah …”

  “Spit it out Skylina. For heaven’s sake, I may be old but I’m not stupid, nor am I fragile.”

  “I never graduated from high school.”

  “So what?” Her question took me by surprise.

  “Huh?”

  “Skylina, a young lady never says, ‘huh.’ But what I meant by that was if you haven’t graduated from high school, then do something about it. My goodness, if that’s the only thing holding you back, you can take care of that in no time.”

  She must’ve noticed the furrow in my brow.

  “Skylina, that’s not the only thing, is it?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Well, you’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Are you embarrassed?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Very well. Maybe one day you’ll come to trust me. In the mean time, I think there are a few things you can do to make your dancing much improved. And I want to help you. You may not be formally educated but you can still audition for certain shows. Off broadway often takes raw dancers because they like to train them to their methods. So, what I’m telling you, Skylina, is never give up your hopes and dreams.” And then she patted me on the knee and smiled.

  There’s something about this woman that I was instantly drawn to. I felt so relaxed around her. And that’s quite unusual for me. Smiling from ear to ear, I said, “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “Now stop calling me ma’am. I have a name and it’s Marianna.” Then she winked at me. I was instantly in love with this woman.

  And that’s how Marianna Blakely and I became friends.

  TEN

  Ryder

  It’s after eleven and I’m walking home. I’m tired. The NA meeting went on longer than I would have liked. New members like to talk about their issues. Sometimes it’s hard to put myself in the moment. But I can’t skip a meeting … I’m too new to sobriety. Too new to being drug free to trust myself.

  Thoughts of Skylina keep clouding my mind. What’s her deal? My curiosity is taking over everything. A week’s gone by since her attack. Everywhere I look, I hunt for signs of her, but nothing. I’m about four blocks from home when I hear shouts and sounds of fighting. When I see what’s happening, I pull out my phone and hit 911 to report it. Then I rush the attackers. There are two versus one. The guy being attacked is giving it back pretty good, but still. I surprise one of them by grabbing him from behind and when he turns, I pop him so hard in the ol’ pie hole, he buckles. The other one starts to make a break and I grab him before has a chance.

  “Oh, no you don’t. I think you’re gonna wait it out until the blues get here and haul your ass to jail.”

  By then the victim gets up, wiping his bloodied face, starts thanking me and the cops pull up. I give them all my information and statement and I head for home again. Damn thugs. If someone had intervened for me, maybe I’d still be dancing. But then again, I’d still be that selfish fucker I used to be. Quit thinking about this shit, Ryder. I can’t change the past and can only focus on the present and future.

  By now it’s close to one a.m. as I unlock my door. I scrub my hands and wash my face, making sure there isn’t any blood remaining. After I brush my teeth, I decide I need a hot shower to relax me. When I’m done, I turn on the
TV and a little while later, I hear the buzzer on my door. Who the hell would be visiting me at this hour?

  “Yeah?”

  “Um, hi, it’s Skylina. Can I come up?”

  What the hell!?

  “Yeah, of course.” I buzz her in.

  A minute later she walks through the door and I gape. She’s wearing a trench coat but drops it when she walks through the door. Her dress is skin tight, short and has a plunging neckline that goes to her navel. Her hair is done up in some kind of fancy style, twisted around her head, wispy pieces falling around her face. She has black fishnet stockings on and black stilettos.

  “Hi Ryder.” She flicks off her shoes and heads to my bathroom. She doesn’t bother to close the door. I can hear her turn the shower on. Not long afterwards, she brushes her teeth and comes out, stark naked. “Come to bed with me.”

  “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

  “You have to ask?”

  I’ve never had an invitation quite like this before. She’s not coy about it or suggestive. It’s a blatant come-fuck-me.

  Standing, I move toward her. When I’m right in front of her, she reaches for my pants, but I brush her hands away.

  “What are you?”

  “A girl who wants to fuck you.”

  “Skylina, when I fuck, I like it filthy dirty. Are you willing to take it like that?”

  “Why don’t you find out?”

  So I give her what she wants. First my shirt goes, then I rip my pants off and tell her, “Suck me. Hard.”

  She kneels and wraps her lips around my cock. At first she hesitates when her tongue hits my piercing, but as I grab her head and push it down, she gets my meaning. She swirls her hot wet tongue around me, and slides that perfect mouth up and down sucking as she goes. I moan. Damn, but this girl knows how to blow cock. She pulls me in deep and releases her throat, but then makes a swallowing movement that massages my entire length. Fuck is this hot. Her mouth slides up and down and then she moves to my balls and starts licking them. Pulling them into her mouth, she lightly sucks, and then moves back to my stiff cock and resumes her lapping. Her tongue is like hot velvet on my skin. Then her lips tighten around me and start to suck me off again. As she sucks, her hands slip down to my balls, massaging me and I’m so close. So damn close. But I don’t want to come in her mouth so I grab a fistful of her hair and pull it … hard. She lifts her eyes and it destroys my resolve. I want her to fuck me with her mouth until I shoot off down her throat. As she eyes me, she flicks her tongue across my piercing. Not once, not twice, but a dozen times until I’m helpless as she watches. Then her hand moves between my legs from my balls and slides up to my ass cheeks, fingers sinking in. My hands pull her head, hard, forcing my cock deep into her throat and I thrust back and forth.

  “Suck me off, hard.”

  She does, as I push as deep as I can. Her eyes water but she doesn’t refuse me.

  “Don’t fight it.”

  Her throat tightens against me and relaxes slightly and then she starts to move on my cock again. She sucks and pulls on me.

  I groan as I come in spurts down her throat. “Fuck. Skylina.” She looks up at me, my cock deep in her mouth, cum dripping out of the edge of her lip. I pull out and she licks that remaining bit off. That tiny motion makes me want to fuck her in the worst way.

  She slides up along my body until she’s standing and then takes her tongue, the same tongue that’s still laced with my cum, and runs it all over my lips. Her mouth sucks first my upper, then lower lip and I can’t take anymore as my tongue fucks her repeatedly until she moans. This woman is driving me crazy. She grabs my index and middle fingers and plunges them into her, fast and deep, then pulls them out and slowly licks her dewiness off. My mouth waters as she sucks on them … hard. Then she takes her own fingers and repeats the motion. But instead of sucking on them herself, she runs them across my lips and says, “This is what I taste like, Ryder.”

  Before she can even finish saying my name, I pick her up and toss her on the bed, spread her legs and my tongue laves her pussy. I run it along her slit in one long swipe and then plunge in deep, tunneling it as far as I can, then pull it out and lick and suck her clit. She’s so fucking wet, her juices are dripping from her. I rub them all over her, back and forth until she writhes, and I slide two fingers in her, making sure to pay attention to her g-spot. But I don’t let her come. I’m going to save that for when I fuck her. Every time she starts to clench her fingers and thighs, I stop until she’s moaning and whining.

  “Are you on the pill?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you clean?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So am I.”

  I flip her over and stuff pillows under her hips. My cock is so hard again it’s about to blow. Sliding it up and down along her slit, I circle it against her clit until she moans. And then I slam it into her.

  “Ahhh!”

  I pull out. She whimpers. And I repeat the whole process over and over. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her back onto my lap and she cries out.

  “Ohmigaaaaawwwd!”

  She just felt my piercing hit her g-spot.

  “Go with it, babe.”

  “Ah…ah…ah!”

  I move her to my rhythm, my hand on her core, her arms thrown back and around my neck. I look down at her as I fuck her and her nipples are like rocks. Damn she’s hot and sexy. But she’s never been fucked like this before. Swiveling my hips, I rock back and forth, rubbing her clit with my hand. She rolls her head from side to side as it rests on my chest.

  “Oh God, oh God, oh God!”

  “Come for me Skylina.” I whisper in her ear. I can feel all of her muscles tighten and there is that telltale series of spasms against my cock that I love so much. “Ah yeah, your cunt is perfect, baby. Just perfect.”

  “Ahhh, ahhh.” Her nails sink into the flesh on my shoulders.

  I wait for her to come down from her orgasmic high and say, “On your knees. Bend over.” Now I fuck her hard. Really hard. This is where I get off the most. Sometimes, they come again. Sometimes not. I don’t care either way because she just had a damn awesome climax. My hands hold her hips steady and it’s a constant pounding. But she’s absolutely getting back in the game.

  “Ohmigodohmigodohmigaaawwwwddd!”

  “That’s it baby. You have an amazing pussy. It was made to be fucked. Hard.” And then I can feel it building in me again. Right as it hits me, I pull my cock out and watch my dick spurt all over her ass. As she kneels there I know she’s on the edge so I rub my cum all over her and slip my fingers back inside her. “You have a gorgeous ass. Now roll over. I’m going to suck you off.”

  She flips on her back and I push her legs in the air, spreading her wide. She’s so fucking wet, with our combined fluids. I rub them all over and slip two fingers into her pussy and press my thumb against her ass. When she moans, I know she’s into it. I start to suck on her clit, hard, and when my thumb penetrates that sweet tight backdoor of hers, it pushes her over the edge and she comes all over the place.

  Crawling up her body, I make it to my destination, and lick her lips. “This is what we taste like together.” Then I kiss her. She’s a hungry animal on me, kissing me, licking and sucking my mouth.

  “Ryder.”

  “Yeah.”

  She maneuvers on top of me and says, “I’ve never climaxed during sex before.”

  “I know.”

  She sucks in her breath. “How did you know?”

  “By your reaction.”

  “Your piercing.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is … um, does … did …”

  I start to laugh. “Yes. No. And yes.”

  “It doesn’t hurt?”

  I laugh. “Hell no. It feels great.”

  “Who knew?”

  “I did, but you never asked.”

  “Right.”

  “Go to sleep, Skylina.”

  She snuggles against me and cl
oses her eyes. She’s an odd one and the way she showed up here tonight, dressed in that outfit, makes me wonder what her deal is. But right now I’m too damned tired to dwell on it. I’ll figure it out in the morning.

  Just as I’d imagined, as soon as I wake up and feel the bed next to me, I know she’s gone. I get up and check the kitchen, but once again, nothing. She’ll be back though. After last night, that smile she had on her face, I have no doubt she’ll be back. And I’ll be here waiting. Because that body of hers is made for mine and I can’t get enough of it. But one thing’s for certain … she has a secret and I’m going to find out what it is.

  ELEVEN

  Skylina

  The sun is about to rise when I sneak out of Ryder’s place. I don’t want to be here when he wakes up because if I see his face, I’m afraid I’ll never leave. The man undoes me. And the sex. Holy motherferker! What is that all about? I’ve never in all of my life imagined sex could be like this. He takes me to a place I never knew existed. A place that isn’t real.

  As I walk home, my mind races with images of the things he did to me with his hands, mouth and his cock. That piercing. Ohmigod. I thought I was having an out of body experience. And the funny thing is, I went in there acting like I was the one in control. Like I was the one that was going to bring him to his knees. Well, I think I did when I sucked him off. He totally got into that. But who am I kidding? He was in control the whole time and those eyes of his as he watched me toward the end. How they got all deep blue and hazy. And his mouth. I’ve totally ferked up here. He’s going to be impossible to stay away from. And that’s dangerous for me. I need to stay away from him. But the real question is, can I?

  When I run up the steps to my place, I pray Mom’s still passed out. She has her fixes and her vodka. But she suspects something is up with me. I open the door as quietly as I can and the place is silent. So I head straight to my bedroom.