by Helen Lacey
She was so beautiful. Tall and slender, but surprisingly curvy, with a glorious mane of golden blond hair she rarely allowed anyone to see styled in anything other than a tightly coiled bun. But Liam had seen it out and falling down the length of her back countless times. He’d fisted handfuls of her tresses to expose her perfectly smooth throat. He’d run his hands through her hair as they’d lain together on the big bed upstairs, intimately entwined, unsure where one began and the other finished, kissing and touching and making love.
He shook off the memory and made green tea. Another habit from his five-month relationship with Kayla. She was a strict vegetarian and believed in healthy eating, admonishing his proclivity for strong black coffee and leftover pizza for breakfast. It made him smile and he sipped the tea as he headed for the living room.
The cat was still meowing and began curling around his ankles. He gave the animal a pat, drank some more tea and dropped into one of the big leather sofas, then stared at the cold fireplace. In winter the room was cozy, despite its size. Liam placed the tea on the side table, relaxed his head against the leather and closed his eyes.
And didn’t wake up until seven thirty.
By ten past eight he was showered and dressed, and was turning the ignition in the Silverado.
He made a call to Connie at the hotel saying he wouldn’t be in until the afternoon, ignoring the question about his whereabouts, and then headed off down the driveway. He pulled up outside Kayla’s apartment at eight twenty-five and spotted her by the front door before he had a chance to shut down the truck. A man was with her and Liam instinctively scowled. Her landlord. He was a lanky, disheveled looking geek who he’d spoken to a couple of times and didn’t like one bit. In his opinion the other guy was a little too friendly toward Kayla. He put the vehicle in Park and got out, striding around the other side as she waved goodbye to the other man and then made her way down the paved path. She looked tired and he figured she’d probably had as little sleep as he had. She wore a pale blue dress that buttoned high up the front and fell just above her knees and made her long legs look sensational. He experienced the usual ripple of attraction that wound its way up his spine. He smiled when she reached the vehicle.
“Good morning,” he said easily. “Sleep okay?”
“Like a log,” she replied and they both knew she was lying through her teeth.
They’d parted badly the night before. He’d lost his temper with her, something he loathed doing. “I’m sorry about last night... I should have called first. Or I should have—”
“Forget about it,” she said quietly. “Let’s just get this done. So, how did you sleep?” she asked as he opened the passenger door.
“Barely a wink,” he said as she got into the truck.
Once he was back in the driver’s seat she spoke again. “I woke up at about quarter past three.”
As he did. “Me, too,” he admitted. “Although I did manage to catch another few hours on the couch.”
“You’re lucky. But my couch isn’t as comfortable as yours.”
He recalled her lumpy sofa that she’d picked up at a yard sale. She loved antiquities and old wares and her home was spotted with pieces of furniture she’d salvaged and restored. He’d never done any sleeping on her couch, but they’d done a whole lot of loving.
“If I recall correctly you have a comfortable bed.”
Color pinched her cheeks. After everything they had been to one another, she still blushed around him. “Comfy enough,” she said and clutched the tote she carried. “We should get going.”
“Not yet,” he said and wound his hand around her nape and drew her close.
“What are you doing?” she asked, pulling back a little.
“Kissing my wife,” he replied and claimed her lips possessively.
It took about three seconds for her to respond and Liam smiled against her mouth. They could fight. They could disagree. They could spend time apart. She could give him every excuse under the sun as to how difficult it was for them to be together. But the attraction and feeling between them was undeniable. Her lips parted invitingly and he deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth over her own, finding her tongue and drawing it gently between his teeth. Kissing Kayla was like trying to quench a thirst...it was never enough, never deep enough, never hot enough, never intense enough.
“Liam,” she said breathlessly, suddenly dragging her lips from his. “Would you please stop? Someone could see us and—”
“Like who?” he demanded and threaded his fingers through her hair. “Your neighbors? Your geeky landlord, who I’m pretty sure has got the hots for you?”
She pulled away and straightened in the seat. “That’s ridiculous. Dane is my friend, that’s all.”
Liam settled in front of the steering wheel and strapped on the seat belt. “I still don’t like him.”
Kayla huffed out a breath. “Would you stop acting like a jealous—”
“A jealous husband?” Liam shot back, cutting her off as he started the engine. “That’s what I am, remember? Your husband.”
She pulled her tote onto her lap. “I know who and what you are. And I know that since the moment I told you I might be pregnant you’ve been behaving like a real jerk.”
* * *
Kayla was mad. Things were complicated enough without Liam making it worse by having some kind of macho freak-out about her landlord. She glared at him and then turned her head to stare out of the front window. It wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned he thought Dane had a crush on her, although she’d always laughed it off before. But not today. She was too wound up to find the humor in his words.
She glanced at his left hand and noticed he was wearing his wedding ring, while her own finger felt shamefully bare. The platinum-and-diamond band was in her purse, wrapped in a tissue and tucked away for safekeeping. But Liam always seemed to wear his when they were alone together. It irked her a little. And guilted her, too. He acted more like a husband than she did a wife.
Deep down, she knew all his arguments about telling their parents—especially now—were right. But she couldn’t get over her fear that it would be like adding one final splash of gasoline to the pile of wood. And that news of a Rickard-O’Sullivan pregnancy would hardly do anything to defuse that blast. She’d been awake all night worrying—
“Is there any place in particular you’d like to go?” he asked, his voice jerking her back into the present. “Maybe try to get in to see a doctor?”
Her head snapped sideways. “No doctors. Just a drugstore. If the result is positive from the test then I’ll go and see my own physician once...once...you know...”
“Once the truth is out, you mean,” he said quietly and then glanced at her stomach. “So...how far along do you think you are?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Over a month. Maybe two.”
He was silent for a moment, and then spoke. “We’ve always used contraception.”
Kayla had wondered when that statement would rear its head. “Condoms are only ninety-eight percent effective.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” she replied and smiled sweetly. “Haven’t you ever read the packet?”
He laughed and the sound affected her way down. Sometimes, she couldn’t believe he could still do that, that she could be as gushy and as aware of him as though they were on a first date. Her lips tingled when she remembered how possessively he’d kissed her only minutes earlier.
“I’ve never been one for reading the instructions,” he said softly.
“Or taking them,” she said and folded her arms. “But you do like to boss everyone else around.”
He laughed again. “I’ve missed this.”
“Missed what?”
“You listing all my faults,” he said and grinned. “I guess I have a few.”
He glanced at her and then relaxed his hands fractionally. “Coping mechanism.”
She chuckled softly. “You’re such a fraud, Liam.”
His jaw tensed even further. “What does that mean?”
She looked at him for a moment, fiddling with the strap on her tote, then returned her gaze straight ahead. “Tough guy. Calm, cool and collected. Ice in your veins. You know, all the things people say about you. None of it’s really true.”
“Sure it is,” he said dismissively.
“Yesterday I thought you were all in control and ready for whatever happened today,” she said, smiling again. “But I think you’re as nervous as I am. Maybe even more so. Let’s face it, your family is going to be as shocked about this as mine. And equally disapproving.”
“As I said last night, I don’t actually care about that, Kayla,” he said flatly. “I care about you and the child you might be carrying. You make a baby with someone, then you take on the responsibility that goes with it.”
“And to hell with everything else?” she shot back. “And everyone else?”
“Precisely.”
“I can’t disregard other people’s feelings like that.”
His mouth flattened. “Really?”
She sighed with frustration. “I don’t disregard your feelings, Liam. At least, I don’t set out to do that. But we both knew going into this relationship that it wasn’t going to be easy, considering our history.”
“Our history?” he echoed. “But we didn’t have a history, Kayla. It was our parents’ history, our parents’ private war, for want of a better expression. We were both raised on a steady diet of hatred for each other’s family. And in one way or another, if you are pregnant, then this child will end that cycle. We have to make sure of that. Otherwise, our parents won’t have the opportunity to be a part of this child’s life.”
“That sounds all very cut-and-dried,” she remarked. “But we both know I could never cut my parents out of their grandchild’s life...and I don’t think you could, either.”
“I’ll do what I have to do to protect my family,” he said and the words chilled her a little. She knew he would do exactly as he said. “My family. You and me. And you’ll do the same.”
Kayla crossed her arms and sucked in a deep breath. “For you to say that to me it’s obvious that you don’t know me at all.”
“Of course I know you,” he said quietly. “I know every inch of you...intimately.”
“Sex and intimacy are two very different things.”
He laughed humorlessly. “Ain’t that the truth.”
Kayla hung on to her temper and barely spoke for the remainder of the trip. He was being a hothead for reasons of his own. Thankfully they’d reached Rapid City and once they entered the town precinct she began scouring the streets for the first open drugstore she could find. They found a mall quickly and once he’d parked the truck she got out and shut the door, not waiting for him as she walked across the parking lot. He caught up soon enough and they walked side by side into the store. To his credit he hung back while she made her selection and didn’t do his usual thing of insisting on paying for everything.
For all his faults, she couldn’t accuse him of being anything other than incredibly generous. His benevolence didn’t stop with the museum and she knew he was generous toward the local hospital’s charitable work and fund-raising. Despite his reputation for being a ruthless, arrogant and entitled alpha male, he had a kind and giving spirit that she’d been privy to during their time together.
“All done?” he asked once she’d paid the clerk and had the parcel in her hands. She nodded and he then did the same. “So, we could go for coffee somewhere in town. There’s that little café on Omaha Street that you like. You know, the place with the pistachio brownies.”
Kayla was instantly bombarded with a memory. It was a week after that crazy afternoon at the museum when she’d given in to the constant battle of trying to resist her attraction to him and had kissed him madly. They’d spent the day in Rapid City and she’d discovered his addiction to caffeinated beverages as they frequented several cafés in search of the perfect cup. They had a lovely afternoon together and later that evening he booked them into a luxury hotel, where they ordered room service and then made love for the first time. The following morning they had a late breakfast at the café on Omaha Street and Kayla had stocked up on the delicious brownies. It seemed so long ago now, and not five short months earlier. But the memories were acute.
“I’d prefer to go back home and get this done,” she said and rattled the paper bag in her hand. “No point in putting off the inevitable.”
He took his time to agree, but eventually they were on their way back down the highway after stopping to refuel at a gas station. The trip home was mainly done in silence. A heavy band of tension pressed down on her temples and she was suddenly weary. Her lack of sleep the night before took its toll and it didn’t take long for her eyes to close.
Being jostled on a bumpy road snapped her out of sleep and she opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times. Tall trees and a huge timber house loomed ahead. Liam’s place. Their place. She knew the road and the house well. It was secluded and private and just the place for a secret relationship.
“I thought you’d prefer it,” he said as an explanation. “No prying eyes.”
It was another dig about her nosey neighbors, but she ignored it, figuring it didn’t matter where she took the test. Kayla grabbed her tote and got out of the truck the moment he pulled up outside the house. It was a warm day and the river was flat and shimmering beneath the midday sun. It was such a beautiful spot, perhaps the best along the river, and the house was incredible. Two and a half levels of understated opulence, the finest red cedar partnered with perfect architecture that took full advantage of sunlight and breeze and was well shielded by trees in the winter months.
They headed inside and Kayla’s heels clicked over the polished floor as she walked down the hall. Peanuts came scampering toward her and she bent down to pet the cat for a moment. The familiarity of the house wrapped around her as she moved into the living room. The fireplace, the bare mantel and the thick hearth rug where she’d lain with Liam countless times quickly reminded her of how little time she’d spent at the house recently.
“Are you okay?”
His voice.
It was like liquid being poured down her spine. She turned and noticed he was barely a few feet from her. “Fine.”
“You’re nervous,” he said and stepped closer, grasping her hand.
His touch.
She could barely think straight when his skin connected with hers. Kayla looked to where their hands were linked and every impulse she had urged her to pull away. “I’m not sure how I feel.”
He dropped his hand and her palm felt acutely empty. He was looking at her oddly, not angrily, not unhappily...more like he was confused.
“You know, a baby isn’t the end of the world, Kayla. Babies are a precious gift.”
Of course their baby would be a gift. “I know that. I feel that. If I’m pregnant I will love this baby and cherish it and be there for him or her, always.” Heat burned her eyes. “I know the baby will come first, I know logically that nothing else can matter. But that doesn’t stop me from being torn up inside knowing how this will kill my father.” Her voice shook with emotion, and she knew Liam saw the true fear beneath her stubbornness—the fear of a daughter about to hurt her daddy. She could
n’t hide it. Or deceive him. Because he knew her, better than anyone else.
“No, it won’t,” he assured her gently. “Sure, your dad will be mad and maybe he’ll be disappointed. But at the end of the day, we’re talking about his grandchild. Perhaps you need to give your parents a little more credit than imagining they’re going to be outraged.”
She wasn’t convinced. “You don’t know them.”
“True. But they love you, Kayla. You’re their only child, they’re not going to disown you over this.”
He didn’t understand. She loved her parents, and she knew they loved her. But she knew that despite his confidence, this would break their hearts, particularly her father’s.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m going to take the test.”
He nodded. “I’ll make you some tea if you like.”
“Sure,” she said and grabbed her bag.
Kayla turned and headed for the stairs, climbing them slowly, each step excruciating, and knowing he was watching her only amplified her anxiety. She entered the bedroom and looked at the king-size bed and the dark blue quilt that seemed so familiar to her. She looked at the bedside table and spotted her tortoiseshell hair clip, still lying where she’d left it a week earlier. Her nightgown lay at the foot of the bed and her favorite scuffs were by the nightstand.
She ignored the fluttering in her belly, dropped her tote by the bed and headed for the bathroom, closing the door. The huge black marble and white tiled room afforded every spa-like luxury. There was a whirlpool bath in one corner and a large double shower in the other.
She unwrapped the pregnancy test, pulled out the instructions, set the box on the sink and stepped back. She read the words quickly. Pee on the stick. One line equals not pregnant. Two lines equals pregnant.