by Helen Lacey
Easy.
I can do this.
She followed the instructions and then placed the stick onto the vanity before she sat on the edge of the tub and waited, eyes closed, her hands clasped together. Then she opened her eyes, managed the few steps toward the sink, took a long breath and stared at the two blue lines on the stick.
Realization quickly dawned.
Two lines equals pregnant.
She took a moment and sucked in another breath. And another, allowing the realization to spread across her skin and then seep through to her bones. She was light-headed, shocked, and then slowly the shock subsided and something else took over. Love, uncomplicated and raw and breathtakingly powerful, suddenly surged through her. And she knew instantly what it was.
A mother’s love.
A feeling like no other. Kayla rubbed her belly with her palm.
Hi there, I’m your Mommy. And nothing else matters now...just you.
Heat burned her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat as she snatched up the stick. Suddenly and with life-altering clarity, Kayla knew that loving and protecting her baby was all that mattered. And she would do whatever she had to do to ensure that her child was safe and loved. She took another breath, opened the door and headed back downstairs.
Liam was in the kitchen making tea. She watched him from the doorway, so handsome in his jeans and navy polo shirt. There was something effortlessly masculine about the way he moved, the way he carried out even the most mundane task. His arms were well-defined and muscular, his hands strong and perfectly sculptured. He was as comfortable indoors as he was out. She’d witnessed the way he seamlessly ran the hotel, but she’d also seen him outside, building fences, chopping firewood, repairing the boat in the boathouse. He was one of those people who mastered everything he touched.
Including me...
He was a passionate and demanding man, but equally gentle and generous. There was tenderness, too. Long nights where they would spend time talking, whispering, sharing their deepest thoughts as though there was no one else in the world, no one to intrude, no one to break the spell.
Her hand rested instinctively on her belly. They shared a child now. A life. And would be bound together forever. Would their baby inherit Liam’s blue eyes and strong jaw? Would he or she be golden-or dark-haired? Would their baby share Liam’s confidence and generosity, or be caring and cautious, like she was. Either way, one huge question kept slamming around in her head. How were they going to do this without hurting everyone who loved them?
They couldn’t. People would be hurt. Choices would have to be made. Alliances and loyalties would be stretched. It was a lose-lose situation.
Babies are a precious gift...
His words echoed in her mind.
Their baby.
Five minutes ago it was a possibility. Now it was a reality. The baby she carried was a precious gift...and she would guard that gift with every fiber of her being. She knew what it meant. She knew what he would want. Maybe even demand. She could feel it coming with each passing second.
“Liam?”
He looked up and stilled, ditching the mugs to stand at the end of the counter. He looked tense, as on edge as she’d ever seen him. “Hey.”
Kayla stepped farther into the room, swallowing the tension rising in her throat. She clutched the end of the testing stick and held it by her side as she met his querying gaze. His eyes had never seemed bluer, his expression never more intense.
She took a few steps closer and waited for him to move. But he stayed where he was, clearly letting her choose the pace of the conversation. So like him, she thought. His strength was listening, despite what people believed about him. Sometimes he said very little. Sometimes he would hold her and let her ramble on about her family and her work and just smile that wry smile of his, absorbing every word she spoke.
Kayla took the last few steps, reached the counter and wordlessly placed the test on the marble top. He stared at it for several seconds and then met her gaze.
“What...” The word almost sounded strangled and then she watched, fascinated as he swallowed hard and placed his hands on the counter. “What does it mean?”
“Two lines,” she whispered. “Two lines means positive.”
He was standing so still he looked as though he’d been carved from stone. His palms were flat on the counter, his shoulders a hard line, his jaw so incredibly tight she fought the urge to touch his face.
“You’re really pregnant?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“A baby...really...” His voice trailed off, as though he was trying to make sense of it, trying to absorb the idea through to his skin and bones and blood. He drew in a long breath. Then another. His gaze unwavering as he locked it with hers, packed with raw, unparalleled emotion.
“We’re really having a baby,” she said, the words almost on a sigh.
She watched as his throat closed over, mesmerized by the sheer intensity of his reaction. There was nothing stoic or controlled about Liam O’Sullivan in that moment. He was all vulnerability, all feeling, and clearly as overwhelmed by the idea of being a parent as she was.
He took a couple of strides toward her and then she was against him, his arms strong and safe as they wound around her and held her firm. She felt him tremble, heard his heart thundering behind his ribs as her head nestled into his chest. Kayla could barely breathe, barely think...only feel. It was exactly how she’d imagined the moment would be. With emotion. With intimacy. With love. The connection between them ran deeper than any other moment ever had. And she knew he felt it as intensely as she did.
He kissed the top of her head and she swayed against him. And finally, when he spoke again, his voice wound up her spine and through her blood.
“We should go and tell your parents. And then mine. Right now.”
Kayla pulled back instantly and put space between them. She stared at him, feeling her temper begin to rise. It wasn’t unusual for Liam to be domineering and bossy—he just generally didn’t do that with her. But he could be as bossy as he liked, she wasn’t giving in.
“No,” she said quietly.
He moved around the counter. “No?”
Kayla stood her ground. “I will tell my parents, Liam. But not yet.”
“When?”
“When I’m ready.”
“This isn’t just your decision,” he said tightly. “Not now.”
“Nor yours,” she reminded him.
Gridlock.
He sucked in a long breath, pulled his cell phone from his pocket and held it out toward her. “Call your folks...or I will.”
Kayla glared at him. Perhaps he would never understand. Perhaps she’d been deluded all along. Maybe it wasn’t in his makeup to feel a sense of duty toward family. Oh, he knew a lot about responsibility—he’d shown that for years at the helm of the hotel and the O’Sullivan business portfolio. But duty out of respect and love and loyalty? Maybe not. He wanted what he wanted. He was an O’Sullivan. Arrogant. Used to getting his own way. Her father had been telling her this for years. She should have listened. But suddenly none of that mattered now. She had one thought, one motivator...and that was protecting the child growing inside her. From everything and everyone. Including Liam. Her parents. And the whole damned world if necessary.
There was only one option. Only one way to make sure her baby wasn’t placed in the middle of an emotional minefield. She knew exactly what she needed to do.
Kayla drew in a long breath and met his gaze straight on. “Liam, I want a divorce.”
Chapter Four
Liam stared at her, unable to believe what he’d just heard. She was breathing hard, as though every gulp of air was an effort.
“What?” he barked out.
She winced and st
epped back. “It’s the only solution here, you have to see that. We can’t possibly stay married and have our baby stuck in the middle of—”
“Divorce?” he shot back, sharper this time, cutting her off as a kind of slowly gathering rage wound up his limbs and then surged through his blood and across his skin. “Divorce?”
She visibly shrank back, putting space between them, but then her chin came up defiantly. “Don’t shout at me.”
Liam took a breath. And then another. He didn’t want to shout. Or lose his temper. But this was too much. “I apologize for raising my voice,” he said stiffly. “But, Kayla, there’s no way in hell that I am going to divorce you.”
He watched her, looking so beautiful and yet so vulnerable that his hands itched with the need to pull her close, to hold her and tell her everything would work out—that her parents would understand and everyone would make peace. But he couldn’t. Because he knew it would taste like a lie. Liam didn’t have any idea if it would work out. He only knew that Kayla was his wife and she was having his baby. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else ever would.
“Then I’ll divorce you,” she said, her voice a little unsteady.
“On what grounds?” he asked and took a few steps toward her, grasping her hand. She looked up and met his gaze. Her fingers were warm and familiar and he linked them with his own. She didn’t struggle. She didn’t move. Her pupils were dark, searching his face, somehow drawing them closer together, almost as though she had some kind of magnetic tug on every part of him.
“I don’t know...” she said, her voice faltering.
“Divorce isn’t an option, Kayla,” he said, squeezing her fingers just a little. “Not now. Not ever.”
She shuddered. “But I don’t know what else to do... I just...”
Moisture filled her eyes and even though she blinked quickly, tears brimmed and tipped down her face. Liam gently touched her cheek, wiping at the tears with his thumb. “It’ll work out,” he said quietly. “I promise.”
She stilled, resistant and unsure. “I wish...I wish I had your faith in everything...and in them.”
“Have faith in us,” he said and drew her closer. “In this,” he said and tenderly pressed a hand to her belly. Knowing their child lay beneath his palm, protected and growing inside the woman he loved, was like nothing he’d ever experienced before and emotion instantly clogged his throat. “Kayla...” He whispered her name, suddenly desperate to hold her, to kiss her, to make her see that they could get through anything as long as they stuck together. “We can do this.”
She stared at him and then slowly, excruciatingly, shook her head. “I don’t...I don’t think we can.” She pulled away and stepped back, folding her arms across her chest. “It’s too hard. Too much. My parents...”
“You’re putting your parents first in this?” he asked coolly. “Is that it?”
She shook her head. “I’m putting my baby first.”
“Our baby,” he reminded her.
She sighed heavily, as though she was suddenly all out of argument. “I’m tired, Liam. I’d like to go home and get my car so I can get back to work this afternoon.”
Her words punctured his chest like a blade. “This is your home,” he reminded her. “Remember?”
She flashed him a heated look. “You know what I mean. Would you take me back?”
“Of course,” Liam replied, feeling the weight of her rejection sit so heavily on his shoulders that he had to step away and place a steadying hand on the countertop. “If that’s what you really want.”
“I don’t know what I want,” she admitted quietly. “Or how to feel. Or what to do. All I know is that everyone I love is going to be hurt in one way or another.” She sighed heavily. “I’ll just get my bag.”
Liam watched as she headed from the room and was still standing by the counter when she returned a few minutes later. She did look tired. And like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was in that moment. He was suddenly torn between love and rage and knowing only Kayla had the power to make him feel that way. Liam swallowed back his burgeoning resentment, grabbed his keys and then shouldered into a jacket.
“Let’s go.”
She followed him wordlessly, not speaking until they were both outside and strapped into his Silverado.
“You’re angry?” she said quietly, shuffling her bag on her knees.
He wasn’t about to deny it. “Damned right.”
“And I suppose you think I’m a scared little girl who’s too afraid to confront her parents?” she inquired, her jaw tight. “Does that about cover it?”
“Bravo,” he said and started the engine. “You have me all figured out.”
She sucked in a long breath. “You can be such a jerk sometimes.”
He knew that. But she was maddening. Infuriating. And he genuinely didn’t want to see her upset. But she was being as inflexible as a rock. She stayed quiet on the trip back to her apartment and by the time Liam pulled up to the curb he was all out of patience. He killed the engine, unclipped his seat belt and turned to face her.
“I’m sorry for shouting before. But we need to talk about this, Kayla.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “We’ve talked enough for one day. I’m exhausted. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Soon?” he echoed, thinking she made talking to him sound like the thing she wanted to do least in the world. “And your parents?”
Her brows furrowed. “I’ll tell them in the next couple of days.”
Days? Liam didn’t want it dragged out any longer than necessary. “I’d like to tell my parents, Kayla...sooner rather than later.”
“I understand. And of course I can’t stop you from telling your folks...but I would ask that you give me a couple of days to talk to my parents first.”
He nodded fractionally. “Okay. How about we both do it by Friday? I have a meeting tomorrow with my father and your dad’s lawyer,” he said, watching as her frown increased. “It’s about that commercial property down on Howard Street that they’ve jointly owned for over thirty years. It appears that your dad is finally prepared to sell his share in the place.”
They both knew that the dispute over the large allotment had been going on for decades. After nearly two years, Liam had finally succeeded in getting Derek Rickard to negotiate...at a steep price and only through his lawyer—who was new to town and had been some New York highflier until he’d recently married one of Kayla’s friends. But Liam was confident he’d secure the property. His plan had been to tie up the loose ends around the Rickard family...which of course was moot now, considering Kayla was his wife and was having his baby.
“So, by Friday,” she said quietly, nodding. “Sure. I’ll call you when it’s done.”
And then...
It was the question burning on the edge of his tongue. Liam wasn’t sure he was prepared for her to tell him she wasn’t coming home. He clenched his hands as tightly as he could stand. “And will you come back home once you’ve told your parents?”
She stayed quiet for a moment, her hands clutched in her lap. “I’m not sure what I’ll do,” she said finally, and with such hollowness that his insides ached. “I learned a lot today, Liam,” she said as she opened the door, but turned to look at him. “I learned that I’m pregnant, and realized that I will do whatever it takes to protect my baby. I also learned that you think you can snap your fingers and I’ll simply comply with whatever demand you make. But I won’t,” she said quietly. Her tone was as damning as if she’d yelled at him in anger. “You are exactly what my father said you were—arrogant and entitled and so used to getting your own way that you don’t care who you walk over. Well, you can’t treat me that way...and I won’t raise my child that way. So you’ve given me a lot to think about.” She gazed out the window for a moment, then opened the door. “Goodbye,
Liam... I’ll talk to you soon. Thanks for the ride.”
Liam sat wordlessly as she got out of the vehicle and closed the door. The ache in his chest grew as he watched her walk up the path and disappear inside the Victorian. Arrogant. Entitled. I won’t raise my child that way. Her words stuck like a chant, replaying over and over. Was that really what she believed of him? That it was all he was? The notion hurt him deeper than anything else ever had before.
Then he shifted the gears and drove off.
* * *
Kayla wasn’t sure how she would function at work after the day she’d had. It was half past one by the time she walked into the museum and dumped her bag in her office. Shirley was there to greet her, all smiles at the successful day and the large party of tourists that had been through the place that morning. The gift shop had been busy and the older woman quickly did an inventory of all the things that had sold. Kayla managed to get through the exchange with a smile and a few cursory nods before Shirley clocked out for the day and she was alone. Then Kayla made tea, found a quiet spot on a chaise in one corner of the museum and sat down.
With a heavy sigh she thought about her life, her baby, her parents...and her husband.
The look on Liam’s face when she’d left him earlier spoke louder than words. Rage, disbelief, hurt...it was all there for her to see. And she had almost capitulated and fallen straight into his arms and said to hell with everything and everyone else. Almost. The part of her that was all about doing the right thing held her back. She wouldn’t make any decisions until she’d told her parents about their relationship and the baby. And she wasn’t going to be railroaded.
Kayla got to her feet, sighed and headed back to her office. She made a few telephone calls about the upcoming benefit regarding catering and then placed a call to her doctor’s office, making an appointment for Friday at lunchtime. Three groups of visitors came through during the afternoon, and she was just closing up for the day with plans to spend an hour doing some much-needed admin work when her mother dropped by to see her. She flipped the outside shingle to say the place was closed and ushered her mother inside.