by Alice Ward
“Coffee,” I quickly said. “For sure.”
“Good.” He smiled, making my stomach flip. “I made a pot.”
I quickly turned away and went to the cabinet above the coffee pot. My stomach never flipped, and I definitely didn’t fall asleep talking. I wanted to blame it on the whiskey, but really, maybe alcohol wasn’t the real culprit.
What the hell is going on here?
Seth finished setting the table while I poured us both coffee and fed Starlet her breakfast. The dog crunched on her dry food as Seth and I took our seats.
“Damn,” I breathed, spooning fluffy eggs onto my plate. “I can already tell you’re a good cook.”
He nodded. “I try.”
I smirked over my coffee cup. “No, I’m sure you are. You don’t strike me as the humble type, so stop trying to act like you don’t have talent.”
“You’re not so humble either.”
Deja vu hit. The moment reminded me of the one at the bar, when he was suddenly cocky and unbearable. I could have pointed out that I wasn’t looking for a fight, but what was the point? He was right. So I just shrugged.
“Where did you sleep?” I asked, suddenly and horribly afraid he’d gone upstairs and gone through my closet or something.
“On the couch… with Starlet,” he added, those delicious looking lips curving into a half smile.
I looked over my shoulder at the dog. “Traitor.”
“She snores.”
“Yeah.” I grinned over my cup. “Sometimes I wear ear plugs.”
“You don’t just put her out?”
My cheeks grew warm. “No.”
“That’s sweet.”
I looked down at my plate to avoid his gaze. “I need a fork.” I stood to retrieve one but froze when I caught the time above the stove. “Shit.”
“What?”
“I’m going to be late. I have a client coming into the office in an hour.”
“Don’t you have time to eat?”
I gulped down half of my coffee. It burned my throat but screw it. I needed the caffeine. “No. I have to get dressed and drop Starlet off at daycare. Shit, shit, shit.”
I had to find those folders I’d put somewhere last night. Were they in the car? The office? I had to do my makeup.
Double shit. I probably had mascara smeared across my face. Not only had Seth and I not had sex, he’d seen me in the worst state possible.
I slammed the coffee cup back down.
“Daycare?” Seth asked. “Like, doggy daycare?”
“Yes,” I snapped, hurrying across the room. “Dogs are social. And I’m gone all day.”
“I was just asking. It’s cool...”
I didn’t listen to the rest of what he had to say, instead opted to book it from the room at a break neck speed.
I ran up the stairs, tearing my clothes off as I went. A quick glance in the bedroom mirror told me my makeup from yesterday wasn’t too smeared. And then I remembered. I’d put on waterproof everything, thinking I’d need to prevent eyeliner from smearing while rolling in the sheets.
Hell yeah. Seth had not seen me looking like the bride of Frankenstein, and now I wouldn’t have to do a full face of makeup. I would just touch up my eyes and lips at traffic lights.
I brushed my teeth, grabbed a floral patterned dress from a hanger, snatched up my heels from the day before, then pulled the dress on as I went back down the stairs.
Seth met me in the foyer, a paper towel in his hand. He silently extended it to me, a breakfast sandwich wrapped up in it.
“Wow. Thank you.”
I took the offering, feeling like I needed to do something to thank him, but not quite sure what. I wasn’t used to men doing a damn thing for me. My relationships ran fifty-fifty. I gave him something, he gave me something. In this instance, there seemed to be nothing to give back. Not when I needed to leave the house twenty minutes ago.
“Where’s Starlet’s leash?” Seth asked.
“In the kitchen.”
He went to retrieve it, and I grabbed my purse, slid the heels on my feet. We met on the front stoop, where I locked up the doors.
“I’m sorry,” I explained, scooping Starlet up and going down the steps to the drive. “I don’t mean to run like this. It’s just there’s a lot to do this week and this morning’s client is an important one.”
He waved my apology away. “Don’t worry about it. I had a nice time.” In front of him a blue Jeep waited. I climbed into my car and deposited Starlet in her seat.
“I’ll call you,” he said.
The promise made me pause for a second. “That would be nice.”
“All right.” He smiled. “Have a good day.”
I watched him turn and walk toward his Jeep in the side mirror. After a couple seconds, I shook myself from the reverie long enough to start my engine and tear out of the driveway.
CHAPTER SIX
Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Sometimes when I was overwhelmed, I sat at my desk and counted the windows of the building across the street. It worked as a meditative act, helping me focus.
Today it didn’t.
Today I felt...Giddy? Scared?
The strange emotions were much like the ones that had paralyzed me in the kitchen the night before, but now they were even stronger.
I couldn’t get Seth off my mind. All day long, in between the phone calls, the emails, the meetings, and the plannings, he was there.
I wasn’t a dumb-ass. And not as emotionless as I’d like to be. “Independent woman” and all aside, I had feelings. I could fall for a guy just as easily as the next girl.
I just tried to keep that shit compartmentalized. If it looked like crushing was about to happen hard core, I backed up — sometimes out all the way. I either started seeing the guy less, or not at all.
I’d done a pretty good job — except with Whit. Luckily, after him, I hadn’t fallen too hard for anyone. Probably thanks to my careful watch. But then Seth had refused to go up to the bedroom.
Seth and I had hardly spent any time together, and I was already ga-ga over him.
My grip tightened around the pen in my hand. I clicked the button, retracting the tip over and over.
I could just never see him again. I could ignore his texts and calls. I’d done it before.
But that would drive me crazy. I would hate myself for letting him slip away.
Letting him slip away…
Just thinking like that was dangerous.
I could call Matt and screw him, see if that got Seth off my mind.
But I already knew it wouldn’t.
Maybe there was a better answer. Maybe I wasn’t as infatuated as I thought. I barely knew the guy. The first conversation we had turned me off completely. Perhaps we weren’t that compatible. Seth happened to be semi-decent, as well as hot. It could be the combination, one surprisingly hard to come by. It had me reading way too much into my feelings.
Maybe all I really did want was to bang him.
But once wouldn’t be enough. It could take a few times, or more, to get him out of my system. I could drag it out over the course of a few weeks.
Or I could make it a quick project. Get my need for him out and over in one short weekend.
The idea hit me like a bolt of lightning. I dug my heels into the carpet and pushed my chair down the length of my desk, where I hit the keyboard.
In less than five minutes I found the perfect place. A beautiful weekend retreat just three hours out of the city. The lodge sat on the edge of a small lake and boasted canoeing opportunities, fishing, full room service, and couples massages.
It was perfect. One weekend spent there, banging Seth, and I’d come home beyond full of him. I’d never want to see him again.
I just needed a plan to get him there.
We had only just met. Inviting him to go away with me for the weekend seemed a little extreme. I played with my earring and bit the inside of my cheek. I’d have to employ the use of a little white lie.
And I couldn’t feel bad about it. White lies were a part of life, used all the time in business and personal affairs, to keep ourselves and other people happy.
I’d tell Seth I booked the retreat months ago, planning on a weekend getaway with one of my friends. I’d say it was Heather and explain she ended up having to back out because of her sister’s baby shower. Much of what I said would be true. Heather did have to go to her sister’s shower this weekend.
It would be a half-lie.
Which meant it would also be a half-truth.
I called Seth right away and waited with bated breath while the phone rang.
“Hey,” he answered, sounding a little out of breath himself.
I tried to ignore the way my heart swelled and spoke slowly. “Hi. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
Had he also been thinking of me?
“Not at all. I just finished working out.”
The words, with or without a shirt on, almost popped out of my mouth. I could imagine sweat running down his tight abs.
“O-oh,” I stammered. “Great. Great, timing then.” I licked my lips and composed myself. “Listen, I wanted to see what you were doing this weekend. I know it’s kind of a long shot, but weeks ago I booked this retreat for me and my friend. It’s at this resort on the edge of Crystal Lake. Do you know of it?”
“I’ve heard of it, yeah. It’s supposed to be pretty nice up there.”
“Right, that’s what I’ve heard. So, here’s the thing. Unfortunately, my friend had to cancel, so now I’m headed out there alone. Unless you, uh, you would like to join me.”
I cringed and waited for his response. He would probably laugh and say I was crazy for inviting him away for a weekend, after us spending a couple hours total together.
A long, long, long few seconds passed.
“That sounds wonderful. I would love to go.”
My mouth dropped open. I could hardly believe it.
“Great,” I croaked. “That’s great. I’ll text you the information. How does leaving around seven on Saturday morning sound? We could go later if that’s too early for you.”
“That’s just great. Don’t worry about me. I’m an early riser.”
“Okay. Wonderful.”
I could already imagine us in a canoe, the sun playing over his biceps as he paddled us to a secluded side of the lake. I would spread out a blanket and open the picnic basket.
But instead of eating, he’d screw me out in the wide-open air till the sun went down.
And then I could finally get past him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Saturday morning at seven a.m. sharp I waited on my front porch for Seth. I’d dropped Starlet off the night before at Rory’s apartment and then gone home to pack my bag.
Never once since booking that room did I regret my decision to do so. This was right. It made sense. Soon I would be over Seth, moving on so that I could focus on work and my friends without drifting off and spending every two minutes thinking about this guy I had no business being interested in.
Seth’s Jeep pulled up the drive. I stood a little straighter and tugged my tank top down. I’d dressed for a day in the woods, with leggings and hiking boots.
Seth jumped from the driver’s side, clad in his usual jeans and t-shirt.
Did his whole closet consist of one long row of identical jeans and his whole dresser stacks of plain shirts in varying colors?
He grinned at me and excitement coursed through me as I smiled back. “Hi,” I called, grabbing my bag and heading for the Jeep.
Seth opened the passenger’s side door for me. “How are you?”
“Great. Thanks for coming so early.”
He winked. “Again, I’m an early riser.” He took my bag from my hand. “Top up or down?”
“Down, definitely.”
He nodded and his eyes travelled down my body. “All right then.”
After stowing my bag and pulling the canvas down, we hit the road. I plugged the address into the GPS on my phone and settled back into my seat.
We flew through the streets of Chicago. Seth was a quick driver, and though his frantic pace made me a little nervous, I was also glad for it. I was ready to leave the city’s smog and noise far behind. It had been months since I took a proper weekend away. I looked forward to the screwing part of the weekend, but I also couldn’t wait for walks along the water and a massage.
“Thanks for coming with me,” I told him.
I kept my eyes on the road in front of us but felt his gaze on my face. “You’re welcome.”
“I guess I could have gone alone, but since I booked the place for two it seemed like a waste. I figured I might as well share it with someone.”
“It was nice of you to think of me.”
I couldn’t look at him, certain he knew I was lying and that I’d only just booked the retreat.
When we were finally out of the city, the quality of the air changed dramatically. The morning was already hot, the warm wind whipped at our faces and woke us more fully. With each mile, the businesses and homes became fewer and fewer. Strip malls and gas stations popped up and then vanished, slipping past us as meaninglessly as the lines beneath the tires. In no rush to get there, I had picked the GPS route that took us along winding country highways.
“This is beautiful out here,” I shouted over the roaring wind.
He nodded and smiled. God, he smiled a lot.
God, I liked it.
He better not smile while he’s screwing me.
Traveling with the top down meant there was too much noise to hold a real conversation, but that was just fine. I watched the trees go by and peered eagerly over each bridge we passed, soaking in the sight of creeks and rivers.
A gravel driveway looping through the woods took us to the lodge. A monolithic cabin, a mansion, sat on top of a hill. We parked to the side of it, the nose of the Jeep pointed out over the lake spread below us.
“Wow,” I breathed, the first word I’d spoken in over an hour. I’d barely looked at the pictures on the website, so the view came as a surprise.
“Yeah,” Seth agreed. “It looks great.”
The front door opened into a lobby highlighted by a large fireplace and a stuffed bear standing on his hind legs. I checked in, and a porter arrived to show us to our room on the second floor.
After the door shut and Seth and I were left alone, I turned to him. “Sorry, it’s just one room. I thought it was going to be me and my girlfriend...”
He walked past the two beds to open the curtains wider. “It’s all right. I would sleep on the floor just to stay in this place.”
I smirked and went to join him at the double windows. The view of the lake here was even better than in the parking lot.
“So what’s on the agenda?” Seth asked.
“Well, let’s see… there’s a massage this evening, right before dinner. And a canoeing lesson this afternoon.” I studied the brochure. “There are lots of hiking trails all around the place, and this says the lake is good to swim in. Did you bring a bathing suit?”
No answer.
I looked up at Seth. His hands were laced behind his head, and he gazed down at me from only about a foot away. All it would take for us to kiss would be a simple shuffling of our feet. How strange that I hadn’t even kissed him yet. I was going crazy from lust for the man, and the only time he had touched me was when he laid his hand on my wrist. He’d been so determined in the bar. Aggressive even, stopping me and asking for my number. But then, at my house, he seemed the exact opposite. Slow. Unnecessarily respectful. Tentative, even.
Which Seth would I see this weekend?
“This light is nice,” he said softly.
I stared back at him, his words the last thing I’d expected to hear. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s good morning light. Really soft on your face. I did bring my swim trunks, by the way.”
He turned and went for his bag. I stayed planted where I was, my legs shaking
and my hands crumpling the glossy brochure.
CHAPTER EIGHT
We opted for a hike first and went down to the front desk to get a trail guide. The main path from the lodge sloped down the hill to a sandy strip along the lake. From there trails split off in all directions. Seth suggested the four-mile loop around the lake. I agreed and let him guide the way, walking next to him for a bit, then hanging back to stare at his rear when the trail narrowed.
The spider webs we ran across suggested we were the first humans to come down the path that day. We swept them away from our faces and kept going, not talking, just breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the scene around us. Birds sang, and at one point we saw a group of does peeking out from the shrubbery. They lowered their heads and took a few tentative steps toward us as if we might feed them. When we kept walking, they spooked and ran away, vanishing into the dark shadows.
We moved on, the earth becoming softer and more giving under our feet, as we took the curved path up a hill. A collection of boulders crowded together beneath a lush canopy, just like in my imaginings of the forest Seth had described on my patio.
Without discussing it, we veered toward the rocks.
Seth climbed deftly on top of a boulder and reached down to take my hand. Time halted as his grip tightened slightly on mine. He pulled me up effortlessly, and I joined him on top of the rock. With only inches of space between us, my lips came about to his chin. To share a kiss, we’d both only have to incline our heads the slightest bit.
My boot slipped on a patch of moss and Seth pressed his hand against the small of my back. “Careful.”
I smiled up at him. “Thanks.”
God, I wanted him to kiss me. And yet I didn’t.
I was afraid that once I got that first kiss, and the taste of his touch, the result would be the opposite of what I hoped. Instead of losing interest in him, the fire would be further stoked.
Seth looked at me for a long moment, and his thumb moved across the fabric of my shirt. Or had I imagined it? I was in such a state of lust I could no longer decipher the real from the imagined.
He stepped away and looked out through the trees. My whole body tightened. This I wasn’t imagining. Something had changed since that night at the bar. Maybe I did something at my house he didn’t like, something that made him think I wasn’t worth pursuing after all.