Letters to Gabriella

by Patricia Paris

  “Get some of the roasted turkey breast, too,” Blake said when Justin was placing his order.

  “A pound of the turkey breast,” Justin told the clerk, “and a half-pound of Swiss cheese.” He glanced at Blake. “Anything else?”

  Blake shook his head. “That should do it.”

  After their order was ready, they set off for the bakery department. Justin was anxious to finish moving everything in. He’d tried to call Gabriella earlier but got her voice mail. He’d try again when they finished moving in the rest of the stuff. If he still couldn’t get in touch with her, he’d take a ride over to her place this evening. He didn’t feel like going back to that house, but her absence at dinner last night when she knew he’d be there had him confused. If he wanted to find out what was up with her, he might not have a choice.

  “Hey, Jus,” Blake said, elbowing him in the side.

  Justin glanced at his brother. Blake hitched his head to the left, and Justin followed the direction he’d indicated to see Gabriella standing at the bakery counter talking to the clerk.

  He felt a rush, half excitement, half nervous anticipation. He took a deep breath, uncertain how she’d react when she saw him. He strummed his fingers against the handle of the shopping cart. He wouldn’t let his confusion or frustration show because she’d turned down an opportunity for the two of them to be together last night because something else was apparently more important.

  He ate her up with his eyes as they approached the counter. She looked stunning in a plain white tank top and a pair of jeans that showed off her long legs. He walked up behind her intending to wrap his arms around her waist and claim what belonged to him. He decided against that, cautioning himself to stay cool, greet her in a calm fashion, ask a couple of clarifying questions, and get them back on track.

  “And I’d like a half dozen chocolate cake doughnuts,” Gabriella told the sales clerk.

  “Are you planning to share any of those with me?” Justin said over her shoulder, deciding to go for a lighthearted approach.

  She jumped, let out a little scream, and spun partway around, almost tripping against him as she did. He reached out and caught her by the elbow.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He searched her face, hoping she’d give him the warm smile he loved, but only saw surprise.

  Gabriella slapped her right hand over her heart. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.” He picked up a distinct air of irritation that pricked him the wrong way. He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she didn’t appear all that happy to see him.

  They stared at each other in awkward silence for several seconds before she jerked her gaze away and focused on his twin. “Hello, Blake.” She nodded to his brother and swallowed, looking slightly embarrassed. Justin got a strong feeling she was trying to shut him out for some reason. Hard as he tried not to let it, that pissed him off. After making love to her the other night, he’d been feeling pretty damn good about their relationship. Now she was acting like it hadn’t meant as much to her as he thought it had.

  “What did you do last night?” Justin asked abruptly. He’d intended the question to sound like a casual inquiry, not wanting his frustration to show, but his tone made it sound more like a cross-examination.

  “Your doughnuts, ma’am,” the clerk said behind them.

  Gabriella turned around and took the bag from the woman. “Thank you.” She put the doughnuts and the other bag she had been holding into her cart.

  “What did you do last night, Gabriella?” he asked again, annoyed she hadn’t answered the first time.

  “I cleaned my house,” she said, not looking at him.

  His irritation spiked as he stared at her. She was either lying or she better have a damn good reason for choosing to clean her house over spending time with him, especially when they had so little of it left before Chloe got back.

  Justin ground his back teeth. “You cleaned your house?” He snorted. What the hell?

  “That’s right. What did you do last night?” She threw his question back at him, her tone smacking him as nothing more than casual chit-chat. It didn’t make any damn sense. Hadn’t their relationship progressed beyond this? How could she act so blasé after basically flipping him off last night?

  “I was at Blake and Delaney’s having dinner. Waiting for you until my brother informed me that you had more important things to do than spend an evening with me.”

  Gabriella’s eyelids fluttered, and she caught the bottom corner of her lip between her teeth, looking hurt. Despite thinking the situation was her fault, he immediately felt like a jerk.

  Blake cleared his throat and when Justin looked at him, his brother’s expression held a clear warning to back off.

  Justin cursed under his breath. Apparently she wasn’t as unaffected by whatever was going on between them as he’d thought. He still didn’t have a clue in hell what it was, but his sarcasm wasn’t going to help matters.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, shoving a hand through his hair, “but I’m a little confused right now.” He was aware of Blake standing a few feet away, trying his best to ignore what was happening right in front of him. “Excuse us,” Justin said, reaching out and taking Gabriella’s hand.

  She flinched and he leaned closer to her ear. “Just give me a couple of minutes here, Gabriella.” He led her back by the entrance to the restrooms, the only place he didn’t see any customers milling about.

  After looking behind him to make sure they were alone, he took her other hand and turned her toward him. “If you really spent last night at home instead of coming to Blake’s when you knew I’d be there, then I’d like to know what’s going on.” He tried not to let his frustration show but failed, his words sounding terse. “It’s not like we’ve got a hell of a lot of time left before your daughter gets back, and I’d like to take advantage of what we have.”

  “That’s just it, Justin. I don’t want to be someone you can take advantage of when the mood strikes.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it!” He interrupted, his anger pricked by her implication.

  “No, I don’t. I thought we wanted the same thing. But now I…” She raised solemn blue eyes to his. “I don’t know exactly what you want from me. It’s obvious you’re not looking for a commitment, and that’s fine, but I’m not going to go to bed with you and then pretend I don’t care. I can’t do that. So if you’re looking for a casual affair, you’ll need to look elsewhere. I’m not the woman for—”

  “Whoa, just stop right there and let’s back up.” He released her hands and took her by the shoulders instead. “What gave you the idea I wasn’t interested in anything more than a fling? If that’s what you’re saying.”

  She searched his face, and he could see that was exactly what she thought. He was stunned. How in God’s name could she believe he could care so little after what they’d shared?

  “Gabriella.” He shook his head, expelling a breath. “Is that what you think?”

  She pursed her lips, her eyes hidden from him under thick, downcast lashes. “I got the impression you were backing away…that maybe you felt…I don’t know—”

  “Why?” he asked, truly bewildered. “How could you even think that after Wednesday night?”

  She dragged in a deep breath and released it on a sigh. “Because that’s how you acted when you dropped me off Thursday morning. You couldn’t get away from me fast enough.” She met his eyes again, and he could see she believed what she’d just said.

  “You didn’t have time for a cup of coffee; you didn’t have time to come over for dinner later that night; then you threw out the classic brush-off line, I’ll call you.” She lifted her chin a little. “You didn’t call, Justin. And I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m sitting around waiting for when you do…if you do.”

  Justin couldn’t believe it. He was an ass, a stupid, blind ass. He’d been so caught up in his own emotions the other morning that he’d f
ailed to realize, or even think about his behavior or how she might have interpreted it. He hadn’t had the least idea that he’d behaved insensitively, or that she had picked up negative vibes from him and thought he was trying to give her the brush-off. The one thing he’d felt confident about that morning was his feelings for her and, he’d thought, hers for him.

  He reached out and took her chin in his fingers, lifting her head so she wouldn’t be able to look away when he answered her.

  “It’s not what you think,” he said, putting his heart in his words. He shook his head, knowing what he was going to have to do. He’d been avoiding it because it was just so damned hard to talk about and because he’d thought he was protecting her feelings as well.

  “I can explain everything. I should have told you sooner, but—” He glanced around. “This isn’t the place. Look, Blake came over to help me move stuff into the apartment, and we just took a break to pick up some food. It shouldn’t take us more than a couple of hours to finish up. Can you come over to the apartment around five? That’ll give me a chance to shower before you get there. I’ll explain everything then.”

  She chewed her bottom lip, studying him as if trying to decide whether he was worth the risk. When she nodded, he breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you.” He touched her cheek. “There is something I want to say now, though, just so we’re clear.” He brought his other hand up and cradled her face.

  “In case you have any lingering doubts, I’m committing myself to you here and now. You got that?” He felt a little better when he saw the soft glow that lit her crystalline eyes.

  “Got it,” she said softly, but he could see his pledge meant a lot more to her than her casual response would indicate.

  “I’d rather we were someplace a little more romantic than the hallway to the restrooms at the Speckles grocery store, but I felt like it needed to be said.”

  Her lips twitched and he felt an enormous sense of relief. He leaned down and brushed his mouth softly over hers.

  “I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, wanting to pull her into his arms and do a whole lot more.

  “Why not?”

  “Because we’re in the hallway for the restrooms at Speckles grocery store.” He raised his brows and gave her a meaningful look which took about two seconds for her to understand.

  She smiled in response, a slow, sexy smile that tempted him to haul her against him anyway and taste the sweet lips he’d been missing since dropping her off Thursday morning.

  Gabriella turned and started walking away from him. He followed, lagging a few steps behind to take advantage of the view. She glanced over her shoulder, and he ran his tongue across his bottom lip, grinning at her. Amusement danced in her eyes and his spirits soared. She was still his.

  When they reached the bakery department, she retrieved her cart. Blake was still at the counter, holding a white bag that Justin knew held Delaney’s almond croissants. His brother gave them a cautious glance. Justin winked at him, letting him know the clouds had passed and the storm was moving by.

  “I’ll see you in a few hours.” Gabriella ran her hand across the back of her neck, looking up at him with her captivating blues and gave him an enchanting smile. Standing there watching her, Justin had no doubt in his mind he was looking at the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

  She shifted and glanced at his brother. “Bye, Blake.” She gave him a little wave of farewell. As she was turning the cart around to leave, Justin moved to her side and cupped the back of her perfectly shaped head with his open hand.

  “I just can’t wait all afternoon for this.” He pulled her toward him for a quick, but scorching kiss that left him in an agonizing state of need.

  “And now we’re both going to be uncomfortable all afternoon,” Gabriella said in a breathless whisper.

  Justin chuckled and gave her an intimate pat on the behind when she started to walk away. He put his hands in his pockets and followed her departure with his eyes. Sensing Blake’s presence beside him, he cast his brother a glance.

  “Nice jeans,” Blake said with a grin, as they watched Gabriella maneuver her cart around a woman trying to corral two small children.

  Justin’s eyes glowed warm amber. “Yeah,” he agreed, “real nice.”

  JUSTIN PULLED her into his arms before the door to the apartment closed behind them. Gabriella melted under the onslaught of his hungry kiss. She was anxious to hear what he had to tell her, but he had already dispelled her major concerns that he was only interested in a casual affair. They would have their talk. For the moment, she would enjoy the feel of his arms around her, the hunger of his mouth, hot against her neck and shoulders, and the magic he stirred in her that no man had ever been able to create quite so completely or effortlessly.

  “I just got a new bed. Want to help me test it out?” Justin traced the outline of her ear with his tongue, and she could feel his smile against her skin. The way he made her blood race, she was tempted to throw out a challenge, last one there strips first, and then take off running, but she didn’t want to appear overanxious. They should get whatever Justin had to tell her out of the way first so they could put it behind them.

  Gabriella eased out of his arms, one hand on his chest, holding him an arm’s length away. “Let’s clear up the little misunderstanding we had first.”

  He dropped his head and blew out a resigned sigh, as if he really didn’t want to talk about it but knew he had no choice. She didn’t want him to think she was still upset with him, so she added, “And then we can do a test run.”

  A spark of amusement lit his amber eyes, and she smiled into them with a silent promise.

  Justin led her to the couch, sitting down beside her. His expression became grave, and she could feel his tension mount. What could he possibly have to tell her that was so serious? He turned toward her so their knees were touching and took both her hands in his.

  “My mom and dad were killed in an automobile accident several years ago.” He focused on their joined hands. “The guy who hit them was drunk.”

  Over the next twenty minutes Gabriella listened intently, her heart breaking as he told her about his parents and what wonderful people they were, how much in love they were, and how everyone who knew them loved them. It was evident he had been very close to them, and she could see how difficult it was for him to talk about his loss even now.

  When he talked about how they died, she could feel his body stiffen in anger and could see he still harbored a lot of pent-up rage toward the man who had caused the accident. He repeated more than once how unfair it was that his parents died, and the bastard who hit them had lived. She could tell from what he said that in Justin’s mind, it should have been the other way around.

  His folks had been out to dinner celebrating their anniversary and were on their way home when the accident occurred. It had been late at night, on one of the many rural roads in the area, and they had only been a few miles from home. The woman who delivered the newspaper discovered the accident the next morning, but it had been too late. His parents were already gone. The guy who hit them was unconscious but still alive, and when the police questioned him later, he claimed he didn’t remember what had happened.

  Gabriella could see how difficult this conversation was for Justin. Obviously, he had loved his parents dearly, and they had been ripped from his life in a horrific way with no warning. She could only imagine the horror he and Blake must have gone through, wondering if their parents had suffered or if they could have been saved if they had been found sooner. There were always so many torturous if onlys to dwell on when the kind of tragedy they’d experienced struck.

  She was no expert on human emotion, but it seemed pretty clear, even in her uninformed opinion, that Justin had never come to terms with his anger over his parents’ death. She understood the anger. She could imagine the absolute helplessness he must have felt when he found out how they had died. In his place, she probably would have
felt the same impotent rage over what he still referred to as the injustice of what happened.

  He paused in the telling and swallowed, his eyes closed, and she could only guess at what he was feeling and thinking. She felt an overwhelming need to comfort him, to ease whatever emotion was responsible for the pained expression on his face.

  “I’m so sorry, Justin.” She ran a hand up his arm, laying it on the side of his cheek. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the mouth, and he looked up at her, his eyes full of shadows, ghosts that had surfaced to haunt him while they had been sitting there.

  “I had no idea your parents were dead. It was…” finding no words to describe how bad she felt and thinking it might be best just to be there for him in the moment, she merely said again, “I’m just…so very sorry.”

  He nodded. “Thanks.” He gave her a limp smile, and she wanted to wrap her arms around him, hug him to her breast, and stroke his head the way she might with Chloe, or anyone who needed comfort.

  She knew it had been difficult for him to tell her about his parents, and he wouldn’t have shared something so emotional with her if he didn’t care about her. She wasn’t sure what it had to do with his behavior the other morning, but he had shown her a side of him she hadn’t seen before, a side she knew he showed to very few. It made her love him all the more that he trusted her enough to expose this vulnerable part of him, a part that was still raw with unresolved issues.

  “There’s more,” he said quietly. “It has to do with what happened Thursday, why…I guess why you thought I didn’t want to be there with you.” He took her hands again and squeezed them lightly. “I don’t remember what I said or did, but whatever it was, I just want you to know it had nothing to do with you.”

  She frowned, not sure how what he’d told her about his parents had anything to do with this, especially when she couldn’t think of anything that happened between the time they’d woken up and made love and when he’d dropped her off.