Letters to Gabriella

by Patricia Paris

  Now that he knew the truth about Gabriella’s father, Justin was even more anxious to bring his plan to win her back to fruition. She deserved to know the truth, and he thought it would give her a deep sense of peace and happiness. He missed her so damn much he didn’t know what he’d do if she turned him down again. He didn’t think that was going to happen. Thanks to his brother, he’d been able to gather enough information this week to feel pretty confident she still cared about him. And he prayed to God he wasn’t wrong.

  Come tomorrow he would know his fate. He had done what he could to increase his chances of success. Blake hadn’t been too happy about his role in the plan, and Justin owed him big-time, but if everything worked out, he’d take Blake and Delaney out for the most expensive steak dinner at the best restaurant they could find. Twice.

  Justin pictured Gabriella in his mind and what he saw there took his breath away. She was everything he wanted or desired in a woman. She was joy and laughter, light and love, and he knew to the depths of his soul, she was the only woman who would ever own his heart.

  ALL SHE could think as she walked down to the dock with a cup of coffee a little before noon was, Thank you, God, it’s Friday. Gabriella needed the weekend to rebuild her defenses. Every time she turned around she saw Blake, and every time she did it made her think of Justin. She was cursed.

  She knew Blake was the best damn builder on the Eastern Shore. Everyone from here to Kent Island said so, but she was beginning to think she didn’t need the best damn builder. She just needed a competent one, one who wouldn’t remind her of what she had lost.

  Wrapping one arm around her waist, Gab raised the other and took a sip of the freshly ground brew. She had on jeans and a pair of knee-high leather boots. The bulky, cable-knit oatmeal sweater she’d pulled on over a long sleeve tee was warm, but the breeze was brisk, and she shivered a little even with the extra layer.

  Despite feeling cool, she didn’t want to go back up to the house, at least not yet, not until she could calm her ravaged emotions. Before escaping to the dock, she had felt like she was being bombarded with memories of Justin. If Blake happened to glance at her, she saw Justin’s eyes. If he grinned, it was Justin’s. If she continued this way, she was going to have to move out of the house until the renovations were complete. She just wasn’t strong enough to stand the onslaught much longer.

  If the cottage at Mary’s was available, perhaps she and Chloe could move in there for the duration. Memories of the first time she’d gone there came flooding back. Justin making her dinner…almost making love to him on his couch…their easy, playful banter.

  She shook her head, knowing those memories would haunt her there. Although it was for a totally different reason, involved a completely different emotion, she could understand why it was difficult for Justin to feel comfortable in her house. Memories were a powerful force, and it was difficult to break loose when your feelings were so tied up in them.

  Setting her coffee mug on the top of a piling, Gab lowered herself into a sitting position and swung her legs over the side of the dock. Her life had changed so much since moving here. Seven months ago, when she had gotten Mark Carell’s call about her father’s estate, it had been a dream come true. She had already decided she needed to start a new life somewhere away from Bruce’s family. It wasn’t that she didn’t love them. She did, but she would never have felt free to live her life the way she wanted or to raise her daughter without their well-intentioned interference.

  She had never anticipated falling in love or the pain associated with it now, but despite having lost Justin, she still believed coming to Glebe Point was the best decision she could have made. She didn’t regret it. And most importantly, Chloe was happy.

  There was only one thing missing, the one thing that would make her world perfect.

  “You’re not thinking of jumping, are you?”

  Gab looked up over her shoulder. She hadn’t heard him coming, and now the man she’d been hoping to avoid was standing just a few feet away from where she sat. Maybe she should jump. If she wasn’t such a wimp, she might, but then she’d probably end up with a case of pneumonia to go with her broken heart and wouldn’t that be ducky!

  She pushed up into a standing position and offered Blake a limp smile. She didn’t feel like talking to him. She felt bad about it, but it had started to hurt a little too much.

  “You want to talk about it?” he asked.

  Why had the man she’d always considered short on words suddenly have to become such a conversationalist? Why couldn’t people ever be what you expected them to be?

  “No, not really. I doubt you’d find it very interesting.” She took a couple of steps forward, and when he didn’t move, she glanced up at him and waited.

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” His eyes roamed over her face, and she wondered at his odd expression. “I’ve got eyes, Gabriella, and I could see you were upset this week. Maybe I can help.”

  Gabriella’s frustration had reached a breaking point. He was the problem. If he would just stay out of her face, she’d be fine. She could cope. She wouldn’t be sitting on the dock sulking and making people wonder if she was going to jump in.

  “I said I didn’t want to talk about it, Blake.” She tried to step around him, but he sidestepped into her way. Annoyance slithered through her. What was he doing? She tried to step the other way, and he blocked her again, taking a hold of her arm.

  “I get the feeling it’s just me you don’t want to talk to,” he said, his hold gentle, but firm.

  “You’re right.” She felt rude and ungrateful. She knew her reaction was foolish, but she couldn’t help herself. She was trying to hold on to what little control she had, and he was making it more and more difficult with each passing day.

  “I don’t want to talk to you, Blake. I’m sorry, but I…I can’t be around you. You remind me too much of your brother.” She let out an enormous breath. “There, I said it. Every time I see you I see Justin. And with you being around here so much it’s just too hard.”

  “Why, Gabriella?” His voice was so soft it startled her. “Why is it hard?”

  She looked at him with tears in her eyes, unable to hide her feelings any longer. “Don’t you know? Doesn’t anyone know?” The tears were streaming down her cheeks now, and she didn’t care. She was too tired of fighting them any longer.

  “Justin was the most wonderful man I’ve ever known, and I’ve lost him.” She brought her hands to her face, covering her eyes as if that could stop the tears.

  “You haven’t lost him,” Blake said.

  Gabriella sobbed into the palms of her hands. “Yes I have. I sent him away. I told him to leave me alone, that I didn’t want to see him again.”

  “He didn’t believe you.” Blake sounded so encouraging, but if Justin still cared about her, he would have tried to contact her. Unless she’d hurt his pride too much, unless he had no idea how much she loved him.

  “If I thought for one minute Justin still wanted me, I’d…I’d…” She squeezed her eyes harder and felt a misery so intense she started to shake.

  “Open your eyes, love.” There was so much compassion in his voice Gabriella couldn’t help but do as he said.

  He stood directly in front of her, his arms open wide, offering a moment of comfort from her grief. It was such a kind gesture, and it would be so nice to be held, to take succor in the friendship he extended her. She was no different from anyone else, and everyone needed a hug once in a while. She needed one now.

  Gabriella walked into his arms and welcomed the brief respite from her need for control.

  JUSTIN’S HEART was bursting with love for her. He opened his arms, and she walked into them. Nothing had ever felt as right as Gabriella right there where she belonged. He breathed her in, lowered his head, and whispered to the woman he’d waited a lifetime for. “Welcome home, darling.”

  He felt her stiffen and pulled her in closer, kissing the top of her head. She
instantly brought her palms against his chest and tried to push away.

  “Blake!” she protested. “Let go of me, please!”

  Justin eased his head back and waited for her to look at him. “If you think for one minute I’d ever let any man, including my brother, get this close to you, then let me assure you otherwise.”

  He saw the second the truth registered. The flare of joy in her eyes made his heart soar, and she threw her arms around his neck.

  “Justin!” His name was a song on her lips, and he covered them with his. He was starving for her, and he made love to her tongue the way he wanted to make love to her body.

  Gabriella kissed him back with all the passion and desire she had given him so completely before everything had gone awry. “Oh, Justin, I’ve missed you so much.” She kissed his cheeks, his neck, and came back to his mouth.

  “You couldn’t have missed me half as much as I missed you.” He tightened his arms around her, crushing her against him. The feel of her slender body against his made him ache with desire. He wanted to lay her down, explore that beautiful body with his hands, his mouth, and then make sweet love to her until neither one of them had the energy to do anything but breathe.

  Justin ran his hands down her sides, over her hips and back up. It had been so long since he’d held her, touched her, he couldn’t keep them still. He cradled the back of her head, drawing her face to his, and slanted his mouth over hers again. His need to reclaim her, to absorb the essence that was Gabriella, undid him.

  She returned the kiss as eagerly as he offered it, and when he heard her moan, it nearly snapped his control. He moved his other hand down and under her sweater, then another layer, and slid it up until he reached the fruit he’d been seeking. Her skin was warm silk, calling for his touch. He molded his hand to her breast and brushed his thumb over her erect nipple. Gabriella groaned into his mouth, and Justin knew if he kept it up, he was going to be making love to her on the dock. He dragged his hand from its desired place and gentled the kiss. Looking down at her, he smiled. Her eyes were bright, her color high, and her lips were full and dewy. Her breathing matched his, heavy and ragged, and he knew she felt as tortured as he.

  “Well, that took the chill off,” she quipped in typical Gabriella fashion.

  Justin laughed and pulled her back against him for a crushing hug. He had missed her so damn much. He held her away again, devouring her with his eyes, taking in every precious feature.

  Gabriella looked up at him, and what he saw in her eyes staggered him. They were so full of love it took his breath away, and he felt humbled that this amazing woman truly loved him. “I’m so sorry for sending you away. I…at the time I thought it was the right thing to do.”

  “I know you did.” He cradled her face between his hands. “I’m sorry, too. For staying away this long, for being so damned afraid I was wrong about us, that you didn’t want the same things I did. I should have trusted what my heart was trying to tell me.”

  “I guess we both need to work on that because my heart was screaming that I was making a mistake. It knew all along what I needed, what I wanted, what was meant to be. I just didn’t listen.”

  “What’s it saying now?” he asked tenderly.

  Her beautiful blues glowed softly. “It’s still saying this is what you need, this is what you want. This is what was meant to be. Only now it has put a name to it.”

  “What name has it put to it?”

  “Justin,” she said, still gazing up at him.

  A small furrow appeared in her brow, and then she narrowed her eyes and angled her head. “Speaking of names,” she said, her voice taking on a less gentle tone.

  Justin put a hand in his pocket and scuffed his foot against the boards. It was time to face the music, but he didn’t care. Whatever wrath she felt inclined to layer upon him for his minor deception would be worth it. He’d done what he set out to do, and they would both reap the benefits.

  “Is today the first time you played at being Blake?” She put her hands on her hips and frowned. “Or should I be bringing in an inspector to check over the structural integrity of my house?”

  Justin bit back a grin. Even though she had every right to be upset with him, she had chosen to joke about it rather than get angry. He shook his head. “It wasn’t the first time.”

  That bit of news made her fold her arms over her chest and cock her hip. She looked so adorable trying to look stern it was all he could do not to grab her and start kissing her all over again.

  “It was you yesterday, wasn’t it? Telling me that what I wanted had been there the whole time.”

  “Yes.”

  “And that was the first time then?”

  “Well, actually,” Justin said, clearing his throat, “the first time would have been the morning you murdered that pumpkin.”

  Gabriella’s mouth dropped. “You’ve been masquerading as your brother since Monday?”

  Justin scratched his head. He was in for it now. He owed it to her to stand there and take it like a man.

  “But why?” she asked softly. She didn’t yell, and she didn’t posture; she just searched his face looking for an answer.

  Justin reached for her hands and held them as he told her as clearly as possible why he had done what he had. He tried to hold nothing back. His method may not have been the best, but he’d been fighting for what he held most dear in his life.

  “I love you, Gabriella,” he said, voicing the words out loud for the first time. He watched her eyes soften at the admission. He wanted to kiss her, to show her, but he owed her this explanation. “I love you so damn much, but I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way. And after finding out about Brin and the baby, I wasn’t sure you’d want anything more to do with me. I never told you about her because it was in the past, and I honestly didn’t think it mattered.”

  He rubbed his thumbs over the tops of her hands. “I had thought with time, when you realized I was never going to marry Brin, you might be willing to give me another chance. Then I discovered I wasn’t David’s father, and suddenly I didn’t need to wait to try and convince you we belonged together. That obstacle had been eliminated.”

  “But why didn’t you just come to me and tell me?”

  Justin swallowed his pride. “I was afraid you’d shoot me down. And I was hoping to find some sign you wouldn’t. Then, I started noticing how uncomfortable you were around me…I mean…Blake. Every day it became more obvious my presence bothered you. I finally figured out it was because I reminded you too much of…well, of me.”

  He gave her a lame smile. “I started finding every opportunity I could think of to hang out with you. And the more I did the more sure I became that you were just as miserable as I was.”

  “And did it bring you comfort to discover I was as tortured as you?” She arched her brows and smirked at him.

  “Darling, it made me so damn happy I was downright giddy. But if you tell anyone I said that, I’ll deny it. Men aren’t supposed to be giddy.”

  Her lips curled with feminine charm. “I kind of like knowing I could make you giddy.”

  “You make me a lot of things, Gabriella. The point is, after a couple of days, I was convinced everything I’d imagined we had together before was still there, and I was determined not to let anything stop me from trying to win you back.”

  “Justin,” she said seriously, and he felt a moment of panic. She looked up at him, her expression unreadable. “You win.”

  He wrinkled his brow. She started laughing, and the full import of her words hit him. He grabbed her under the arms and spun her in the air, letting out a whoop of delight.

  “Or maybe I should say I win,” she amended, and he brought her back into the circle of his arms for a scorching kiss.

  “God, I love you, woman.” His words were hoarse, and he actually had to blink away the heat at the back of his eyes. He looked down at her, and her upturned face was radiant.

  “I love you, too,” Gabriella said, re
aching right into his heart and claiming it for all eternity. “I always have.”

  Justin rested his forehead against hers. He believed her.

  JUSTIN AND Gabriella spent the next couple of hours talking about all that had happened. He told her about the police report outlining what had happened on the night his parents had died. After his scathing portrayal of her father months ago when he’d first learned she was Landfred’s daughter, he was humbled by her compassionate response. When he told her the report stated that the brakes on his parents’ car had failed and that was what caused the accident, she had held his hands and apologized…to him…that they had died in such a tragic way. Her capacity for forgiveness awed him.

  He told her that according to the report, her father hadn’t been drinking the night of the accident. Further, from what he’d learned, the rumors about him being an alcoholic were nothing more than that—rumors.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I really didn’t want to believe…well…it’s just nice to know they were only rumors.”

  “If you’d be willing to share them with me, I’d like to read some of the letters you said your father wrote to you.”

  Gabriella searched his face, and her eyes started to mist over.

  Justin wove his fingers through hers. “I know how important his memory has become to you, and I’d like an opportunity to get to know him in another light, different from what I have in the past.” He swallowed back the last of his regrets. The past was past, and he intended to do whatever he could to put it behind him.

  “Oh, Justin.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You have no idea how much that means to me.” She planted several kisses across his chest then leaned back, looking at him. “I love you.”

  His heart swelled. “I’m going to hold you to that, darling.”

  The real Blake showed up around two thirty, not long after Justin called his brother to tell him the cat was out of the bag. He did a thorough go-around of the house, and after satisfying himself everything was as it should be, informed Gabriella he didn’t think it would fall apart anytime soon.